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Offlinemichael_lifshitz
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Drugs and truth.
    #5287984 - 02/11/06 06:52 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

I have been going through some strange phases of feeling disconnected and strange about the world for the past little while, although it really comes in phases. I feel like it's an interesting journey (this little while in this strange mindset), because I understand that it's not really true, and that life is wonderful, and I'm confident I will one day be fully immersed in how wonderful it is.

Usually, if I do things with my friends and just participate in life I feel great, I can use all the lessons I've learned about love and the world in such a positive way it's nice. I have definitely gotten passed the point of feeling distant all the time. And it is quite rare now.

I wish that I could just appreciate the feelings (sorry about my lack of description of what these feelings feel like, but it is difficult to describe) as positive and make them behave in that more positive way, but as it stands I can't.

In relation to the subject line, I find that whenever I smoke marijuana it really brings these feelings up and I get pretty "bummed". I can either dismiss this as the drug and just continue to be happy during most of my daily life and just keep going more and more, or I can accept that I have to deal with these feelings somehow, because I am only suppressing them, not healing them. I think it's strange that I don't like smoking marijuana, because of what it brings out in my feelings.

Now, don't let this post fool you into thinking I am depressed or anything, I am a very happy person. I just have waves of contemplative sadness I suppose.

It is strange that reading philosophy and smoking marijuana make me feel worse when they "should" be something I enjoy. I just need to remember to take the good out of it and not the bad.

I think I am going to take a couple of month break from marijuana. However I'm not sure if that will just be once again suppressing my issue, and it will inevitably still be there in a couple of months, or if it is actually just the drug's nature to make me feel that way somewhat, and thus if I don't smoke for a while I will lose the feeling, and then when I come back to smoke again I will have a good time like I used to.

By the way, if this belongs in another forum, feel free to move it, and I apologize. However, I think that it is quite "philosophical and spiritual."  :wink:


Edited by michael_lifshitz (02/11/06 06:58 AM)


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InvisibleRESTLESS
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Registered: 06/21/05
Posts: 21,817
Re: Drugs and truth. [Re: michael_lifshitz]
    #5287990 - 02/11/06 06:56 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Drugs and truth can exist!


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Offlineentiformatie
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Re: Drugs and truth. [Re: RESTLESS]
    #5288143 - 02/11/06 09:00 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

i don't think you'd be suppressing the issue by avoiding pot for a while. if i beat my hand with a hammer repeatedly, and it hurts... should i stop, or should i keep going because i feel like i'd be giving up if i stopped.

if you aren't actually producing any innovative thoughts, then it's not like you're suppressing the truth.

you might find that living without pot is quite nice. it seems to me that your waves of sadness are merely existential dissatisfaction.

you can't wait for the day you become happy with life. you can't force it either. i really don't know how that comes about. i know i'm not perfectly satisfied...

i recommend taking a break. if it doesn't suit you, if you don't feel any better afterwards than you did before, then you can always smoke again, right? how else would you know, but by stopping. in fact, aren't you sort of suppressing the truth by continuing to smoke. if you stop, you might get your answer.


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/opinion
.sean


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OfflineGliders
Oh, hello!

Registered: 08/29/05
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Re: Drugs and truth. [Re: entiformatie]
    #5288212 - 02/11/06 09:33 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Wow, great way to express this, entiformitie. I love the analogy of the hammer.

To the OP, I just posted to a thread in which someone had a horrible trip on pot, and he surmised that pot shows you what you've internalized. I personally am very uncomfortable with the feelings that pot brings up, so I don't smoke anymore. As long as you deal with these feelings of ennui when you're sober, I don't see that it's a problem. It may not be as dramatic, but you'll be working at a pace that makes you feel more comfortable.

So yes, take a break, by all means! You can always go back.


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Offlineblaze2
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Re: Drugs and truth. [Re: Gliders]
    #5289425 - 02/11/06 04:54 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

I used to get horrible feelings about myself when I smoked pot. THe things i was doing(or lack thereof) my friends, my family, all of it seemed to be going bad. I dont know if that hits anywhere near you or not of course.

I did stop for a while(stopped everything beer included) and tried to get out a bit more. I started smoking and drinking again after a few months but I still felt "different". I was having fun at least. Not long after that one of my closest friends died, and it changed everything, in everyones life that knew him. I cant explain it, but ever since then I have been at peace in my mind ALOT more. I used to smoke everyday all day(this was after it happened), but I got busted and ive get piss tested now. Ive stopped for over a month now, and I definately miss it. I'm still happy though. life is not all that bad considering my situation. I'm just happy to be here. I guess, thats what changed when my friend died.

Pot can be the key to peace, and happiness, but you have to "let it be"(in the immortal words of the Beatles)that. It doesnt come as a truth or pure joy wrapped up in a nice bud, but I'll tell you what it is. It is the keys to all the doors. It is not the doors themselves however, those you must find yourself.

blaze2


--------------------
"Religion without science is blind, Science without religion is lame." Albert Einstein

"peace is not maintained through force it is acheived through intelligence." Albert Einstein

"Those who desire to give up Freedom in order to gain Security, will not have, nor do they deserve, either one."
Thomas Jefferson

"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical." --Thomas Jefferson


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Offlinefireworks_godS
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Re: Drugs and truth. [Re: blaze2]
    #5290663 - 02/12/06 01:31 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

blaze2 said:
Pot can be the key to peace, and happiness, but you have to "let it be"(in the immortal words of the Beatles)that.




Psychadelics might be better described as the window of oppurtunity. They reveal a glimpse of the experience of operating in a different state of mind. That glimpse does nothing on its own to bring you to that oppurtunity. The key could be referred to as the discipline of mind that will take you from where you are right now to that idealized oppurtunity that psychadelics yielded a glimpse of.

Relying on a psychadelic as the means to the continued being within that state of mind would certainly suggest weak elements of the self and emotion-bound addictions within the mind.

:headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :satansmoking:
Peace. :mushroom2:


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:


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OfflineDeviate
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Re: Drugs and truth. [Re: fireworks_god]
    #5290672 - 02/12/06 01:36 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

i also think of psychedelics as window, they allow you to see things you wouldn't normally see. but when they wear off there's always the feeling that something has been lost.


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Offlinefireworks_godS
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Re: Drugs and truth. [Re: Deviate]
    #5290727 - 02/12/06 03:17 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Deviate said:
but when they wear off there's always the feeling that something has been lost.




What, do you think, is responsible for the feeling that something has been lost when the experience dissipates?

I've often seen the feeling arise due to an aspect of one's illusory sense of self identifying with the experience and wishing to continue to have the experience. In its absence, it would thus feel as though something has been lost - something in that experience is considered to be desireable and one has become attached to having it.

It should be plain to see that concerning one's mind with such a thought process would naturally inhibit one's ability to "have" that experience. It serves to obstruct one's experience and being by drawing focus and awareness into mental abstractions. One's self-awareness diminishes when one's mind inflicts negative emotions as the result of an addiction, which means that one is less able to be a mental conduit for increased awareness/heightened experience.

:headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :satansmoking:
Peace. :mushroom2:


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:


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OfflineDeviate
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Re: Drugs and truth. [Re: fireworks_god]
    #5290750 - 02/12/06 04:04 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

i think the drugs temporarily remove our obstructions to being, or mental tendencies. when the experience wears off our mental tendencies return because they have not been destroyed. however, as you say we identify with the free state because (i believe) it is our natural state. the irony being that the drugs give us experience of being fully present in the moment, in the NOW and yet by associating this experience with drugs we continually forget about the NOW. the day that i realized that it's always NOW was the day i realized i didn't need drugs. in fact, i believe that once this is understood, the taking of drugs can be seen as out of harmony with spiritualy because it is based on the belief that you need something outside yourself to be in the NOW. while the goal is to be aware that you don't need anything outside of yourself to be fully whole.


Edited by Deviate (02/12/06 04:19 AM)


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Offlinefireworks_godS
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Re: Drugs and truth. [Re: Deviate]
    #5290762 - 02/12/06 04:24 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Deviate said:
iwhen the experience wears off our mental tendencies return because they have not been destroyed. however, as you say we identify with the free state because (i believe) it is our natural state.




We certainly may identify with the state as being more preferential and as containing more value, but the act of identification itself is not responsible for the experience of something being lost when one is not experiencing through that state of mind.

One may form a preference for utilizing a certain state of mind, but if one feels lacking when one isn't currently within that mental space, then one is in actuality exhibiting an emotion-bound addiction. One wishes to cling to some preconceived notion of identity, which naturally prevents one from fully experiencing the only moment in which we are alive.

The mind is at fault here, not the experience itself or the avenue by which the experience has been produced.

:headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :satansmoking:
Peace. :mushroom2:


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:


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Invisibleeligal
Noobie

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Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
Re: Drugs and truth. [Re: michael_lifshitz]
    #5290786 - 02/12/06 04:47 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

drugs can bring out rooted subconscious thoughts and/or emotions (feelings). so, our truth of which we know of consciously or subconciously.


--------------------
\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."



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Offlinefireworks_godS
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Re: Drugs and truth. [Re: michael_lifshitz]
    #5290797 - 02/12/06 05:05 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

I'd first take a moment to appreciate that your use of drugs has brought into awareness the fact that some aspect of your mind and its thought processes results in the experience of this "wave of emotions" that you feel takes away from your enjoyment and participation in life. Some aspect of your mind is doing you a disservice by removing your preferred state of being. Your ability to operate as preferred depends on your identification of and solution to this glitched mental programming - otherwise your state of being lies subject to infliction of negative emotions.

I would think that associating the negative experience itself with that which raises awareness of its existance can potentially hinder your ability to free yourself from the misprogrammed thought process that is responsible. The possibility that remains is that what is responsible is subconscious and is well-engrained into your thinking, and that it could re-emerge at any time. If the experience is not too overwhelming to take on, I would suggest actively engaging and dwelling within it in order to seek its cause. If you do not feel capable of doing so on your own, perhaps seek the assistance of someone that can help guide you.

Letting a process that will seperate yourself from your preferred state of being run unabated is simply another oppurtunity for yourself to remain seperate and alienated. :grin:

:headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :satansmoking:
Peace. :mushroom2:


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:


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Offlinemichael_lifshitz
Student
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Registered: 12/27/05
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Re: Drugs and truth. [Re: fireworks_god]
    #5290838 - 02/12/06 05:47 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Yeah. Fireworks god.

I realize that marijuana doesn't cause my emotions. Simply brings them up so I can see them.

I usually end up feeling sort of empty, and feeling like everything we do is meaningless, and that I should be doing something better with my life but I'm not sure what. So I already know how to fix it I think. I just need to put my own meaning on my life.

Either a)change my environment, do something exciting etc. or b) learn to be happy here, now.

I prefer option b. Because it is not escaping the problem by running, though someone in another thread explained to me how changing your environment may not be running away, and it does indeed make sense now. But learning to be happy here and now is much more important to me.

So I think that when I don't smoke marijuana (I do so only every week or so as it is) I am usually quite happy. Though I wasn't quite as happy a month or two ago. But it is getting better, I am rediscovering why life is so wonderful.

And then everytime I smoke, it brings back these feelings of life not being that great, my friends not mattering that much (but they do matter to me so much), everything I do not mattering. So it kind of leaves me feeling slightly depressed for a day or two. Though this isn't very intense. All these feelings are not unbearable, but I am used to joy and happiness all the time, so they seem like alot to me.

So I guess I will just go easy on it, and rediscover the joy of life, since I have already started, on my own, without drugs. Although maybe some real "psychadelic" trips involving other substances might be in order when I feel centered and such.

I'm not sure if these will help me rediscover what is good about life, or just show me more how meaningless it is. I suppose it depends how I am feeling that day haha.

Either way, thank you for your help all.


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OfflineDfekt
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Registered: 02/27/05
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Re: Drugs and truth. [Re: michael_lifshitz]
    #5294613 - 02/13/06 12:25 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

michael_lifshitz said:

I realize that marijuana doesn't cause my emotions. Simply brings them up so I can see them. 




While i dont doubt for a moment that marijuana can bring feelings and emotions to the surface which are already there, we should try not to dismiss the fact that at the end of the day, it is a drug and all drugs can directly CAUSE us to feel a certain way.

As well as being a wonderful tool for unlocking the feelings already buried within our minds, they can also directly generate new ones. For example, when we take MDMA the chemical makes us feel loved up with everything, when we take speed it causes us to feel fast and energetic, and sometimes when we smoke weed, it can make us feel unmotivated and discontent with life as an immediate result of the intoxication, rather than a result of deep rooted emotional problems which may have floated to the surface.

I know this is all quite obvious but i suppose sometimes we get carried away looking for a complicated answer for a simple question when the truth is right under our noses  :stoned:


--------------------
"Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit." ~Oscar Wilde


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