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Dmonikal
Bareback up inthis neden


Registered: 09/06/04
Posts: 474
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How to repair a Nervous Breakdown
#5284311 - 02/10/06 12:38 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Well I've had at least 6, maybe 100s I don't really notice them anymore. My mind has been smashed into pieces and rebuilt so many times now they usually last a day or 2. Makes my mind one of the most unusual you will EVER see. It's like insanity itself broke down and became something else. Little hard to describe, but I have no belief in any opinion whatsoever and totally ignore them. All I see are facts or mindless blather. Which makes me rather unusual to say the least.
Background aside I am here to help and discuss this with people who have problems with them.
-------------------- Give your money or your life Take 'em both for all I care Dump your bullets right here
Edited by Dmonikal (02/10/06 01:03 AM)
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Cherk
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Re: Nervous Breakdowns [Re: Dmonikal]
#5284321 - 02/10/06 12:43 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Dmonikal said: Well I've had at least 6, maybe 100s I don't really notice them anymore. My mind has been smashed into pieces and rebuilt so many times now they usually last a day or 2. Makes my mind one of the most unusual you will EVER see. It's like insanity itself broke down and became something else. Little hard to describe, but I have no belief in any opinion whatsoever and totally ignore them. All I see are facts or mindless blather. Which makes me rather unusual to say the least.
This is a place for discussion, please give us something to discuss other than yourself.
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I have considered such matters. SIKE
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MushmanTheManic
Stranger

Registered: 04/21/05
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Re: Nervous Breakdowns [Re: Dmonikal]
#5284346 - 02/10/06 12:58 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Whaddya mean by facts?
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Dmonikal
Bareback up inthis neden


Registered: 09/06/04
Posts: 474
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Oh sorry I meant to discuss nervous breakdowns and how to build yourself back up sorry little misleading I'll fix it.
-------------------- Give your money or your life Take 'em both for all I care Dump your bullets right here
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Dmonikal
Bareback up inthis neden


Registered: 09/06/04
Posts: 474
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Re: Nervous Breakdowns [Re: Dmonikal]
#5284366 - 02/10/06 01:08 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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As I was saying the secret is if your mind breaks enough times, there is nothing left to break so I guess your subconcious can't deal with that at all and gives up entirely turning into (very oddly) perfect clarity.
So the quick route through them is to discard what ever belief is causing them which is more then a little difficult. So what can be done is total distraction, until you stop thinking about it at all and calm down. If you can't think about it, it can't hurt you. LOUD music, heavy physical activity etc. If you are having problems with these please post here and I will try to help you. Remember, your subconscious is just an anoying whiny voice at the back of your brain (instincts) and can be forced to STFU. Forced to shut the fuck up enough times it stops whining.
-------------------- Give your money or your life Take 'em both for all I care Dump your bullets right here
Edited by Dmonikal (02/10/06 01:12 AM)
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MushmanTheManic
Stranger

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Re: How to repair a Nervous Breakdown [Re: Dmonikal]
#5284373 - 02/10/06 01:11 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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All I see are facts or mindless blather.
I can empathize with ya there. I normally don't understand small talk, gossip, etc. Its probably my biggest flaw. To me, its completely useless, trivial, and isn't much more than a way people distract themselves. Saying I'm a quiet person would be an understatement. Most of the time, I only talk to a person for pragmatic reasons, like when I feel that person needs to know some sort of information.
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Dmonikal
Bareback up inthis neden


Registered: 09/06/04
Posts: 474
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Me too man, I used to be a quiet extremely polite emo. I only talk if I have something (real) to say. Hard to make people listen through all that blather or listen to all that blather. Gets old pretty fast.
-------------------- Give your money or your life Take 'em both for all I care Dump your bullets right here
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fresh313
journeyman


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Re: How to repair a Nervous Breakdown [Re: Dmonikal]
#5284389 - 02/10/06 01:20 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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"Little hard to describe, but I have no belief in any opinion whatsoever and totally ignore them. All I see are facts or mindless blather. Which makes me rather unusual to say the least."
got rid of it all now starting fresh
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Dmonikal
Bareback up inthis neden


Registered: 09/06/04
Posts: 474
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Re: How to repair a Nervous Breakdown [Re: fresh313]
#5284487 - 02/10/06 02:14 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Oh it isn't a problem at all wierdly it made me quite happy and I am FINALLY at peace with my past. Whole lot of wierd fucked up shit happened that made me question my own reality so many times that my depression ended and I have a completely different view of my life. Depressed so long that the depression itself got depressed and went away. Not to say I am in the clear at all yet, but I finally have hope that I will be ok.
-------------------- Give your money or your life Take 'em both for all I care Dump your bullets right here
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dorkus
don't look back
Registered: 04/12/04
Posts: 1,511
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Re: Nervous Breakdowns [Re: Dmonikal]
#5284552 - 02/10/06 03:06 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Isn't it better to delve deeply into it rather than distract oneself from it?
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koppie
astral projectile


Registered: 07/23/04
Posts: 2,653
Loc: cloud hidden
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Re: How to repair a Nervous Breakdown [Re: Dmonikal]
#5284556 - 02/10/06 03:14 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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To start with a short Zen story: Bodhidharma sat facing the wall. Eka, The Second Patriarch, stood in the snow. After cutting off his arm he presented it to Bodhidharma, crying, "My mind has no peace as yet. I beg you, Master, please pacify my mind!" "Bring you mind here and I will pacify it for you," replied Bodhidharma. Eka said: "When I search for my mind, I cannot find it." To which Bodhidharma replied: "There you go, it's pacified."
In my own life, I've found that periods of extreme emotional turmoil were often the result of unrealistic expectations, of a faulty understanding of reality. The best way of healing that is figuring out what you were expecting, realizing that those expectations were highly unrealistic, and adjusting your notion of reality accordingly.
When looked at in the cold light of day, most of our problems stem from trying to fit our broken notions of reality into the real world and getting frustrated at our lack of success. Adjust your model of reality and most of your problems will turn into non-problems overnight.
Of course the trick is to find out what was wrong with your model in the first place, and that can take months or even years to figure out.
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demiu5
humans, lol


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Re: How to repair a Nervous Breakdown [Re: koppie]
#5285161 - 02/10/06 09:42 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
koppie said: When looked at in the cold light of day, most of our problems stem from trying to fit our broken notions of reality into the real world and getting frustrated at our lack of success.
Adjust your model of reality and most of your problems will turn into non-problems overnight.
Of course the trick is to find out what was wrong with your model in the first place, and that can take months or even years to figure out.
Does this not mean giving in? As in, giving in to all societies' ideas and ideals? Or am I missing something in that message?
Quote:
MushmanTheManic said: I can empathize with ya there. I normally don't understand small talk, gossip, etc. Its probably my biggest flaw. To me, its completely useless, trivial, and isn't much more than a way people distract themselves.
This is how I've been for the last few months as well. It's confusing at times, but seems right at others. Allbeit, I don't consider that behavior as a [result of a] nervous breakdown.
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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it stars saddam
Satan

Registered: 05/19/05
Posts: 15,571
Loc: Spahn Ranch
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Re: How to repair a Nervous Breakdown [Re: Dmonikal]
#5285521 - 02/10/06 11:20 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Alcohol.
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Dmonikal
Bareback up inthis neden


Registered: 09/06/04
Posts: 474
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I had forgotten about Buddha, which is the best explanation. My path has been a path that is so painful emotionally and physically, that pain itself is as nothing to me anymore. The path to inner peace is death of the self. My favorite line from the poems I have written is "behind nirvana". This path is too much for many and only strength survives. What does not kill you makes you stronger and my mind is becoming granite. Nirvana I have found. Well pain is not quite nothing yet, there are trials that I still have to go through, but eventually I hope to never feel physical pain again.
-------------------- Give your money or your life Take 'em both for all I care Dump your bullets right here
Edited by Dmonikal (02/10/06 12:25 PM)
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BlueCoyote
Beyond


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Re: How to repair a Nervous Breakdown [Re: Dmonikal]
#5285710 - 02/10/06 12:26 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Hmm..I won't like to discuss you, but can't that be due to overuse of some 'chemical substances' ?
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Dmonikal
Bareback up inthis neden


Registered: 09/06/04
Posts: 474
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Re: How to repair a Nervous Breakdown [Re: BlueCoyote]
#5285798 - 02/10/06 12:56 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Well it probably was the abuse of chemicals that led to this, but actually I am stone cold sober and considered quite sane by psychiatrists and psychologists. Not to say I am sane, in the normal meaning of the word. It is more like I am so crazy that craziness was so ridiculous that it drove itself mad and left me sane  Thats about the best way I can describe it. The insanity broke itself somehow. Leaving me with no self doubt, paranoia or delusions of grandeur. Pretty wierd huh?
-------------------- Give your money or your life Take 'em both for all I care Dump your bullets right here
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BlueCoyote
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Re: How to repair a Nervous Breakdown [Re: Dmonikal]
#5285928 - 02/10/06 01:31 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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I wonder, if we won't miss anything, if we will take away our, let's call it, fantasy, expectation or hopes. Or does this not go along with compassion, too ? Or are they that what primarily causes us the pain or lets us suffer, if unfulfilled ?
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Dmonikal
Bareback up inthis neden


Registered: 09/06/04
Posts: 474
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Re: How to repair a Nervous Breakdown [Re: BlueCoyote]
#5286047 - 02/10/06 02:03 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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We will. It is a very painful experience. To be born that way it wouldt be. To learn this after a long life will crush your mind to oblivion and if you have the srength you will rebuild. Forgive my typos and such I am trying to teach my left arm ambidexterity and I cannot reach all the keys. I am doing absoluetly everything with my left hand right now and it is getting very tired :P.
-------------------- Give your money or your life Take 'em both for all I care Dump your bullets right here
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koppie
astral projectile


Registered: 07/23/04
Posts: 2,653
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Re: How to repair a Nervous Breakdown [Re: demiu5]
#5287883 - 02/11/06 03:33 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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demius: It's not giving in, I would say it is the exact opposite. Many of the ideas and frustrations we have, like "I must be successful", "Why don't people like me, they are supposed to like me, what's wrong with me", "I have a right to X,Y or Z ,it's so unfair" to "This world is fucked, it's not supposed to be like this" are just ideas and social pressures that we have been thought by our culture, whether it's mainstream culture or our own subculture or the counterculture in general.
This isn't to say that you shouldn't fight to right injustices, just that you should take a step back and not let yourself be defined by that struggle. You are not a rebel, you are not an activist, you are not a reject from society, you are not a victim or a jilted lover or whatever is your current problem with the world. (I believe many of us have defined ourselves in most of these ways at one time or the other)
You are a human being who just happens to have difficulties with some artificially defined standard of normality, and your little bruised ego is throwing a tantrum. Even calling it a "nervous breakdown" reinforces the idea that you're a broken, tragic figure, which is something that the ego loves to wallow in.
You are in many respects identical to the people you oppose and to the people you admire. This is not a very romantic notion of reality, for movies and books have taught us since the 1850s that you should rage against injustice even if it kills you, but I feel that this is a notion that will help humanity as a whole grow up from our current state of emotional immaturity.
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Dmonikal
Bareback up inthis neden


Registered: 09/06/04
Posts: 474
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Re: How to repair a Nervous Breakdown [Re: koppie]
#5288939 - 02/11/06 02:42 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Well actually I am quite the tragic figure. Gangs guns bear mace B&Es selling crack, pimping (never really hurt anyone if I could possible avoid it and I have never killed anyone) and any that I did I didn't know any better and I accept that now and I am deeply sorry for it and will make amends in real life if I find them one day. It was the sheer tragedy of everything I guess that my mind could not possibly take it anymore and since my mind was in such conflict and my self esteem went up, it all just faded away. Read some of my threads about what I have gone through. The terrible story of my life.
-------------------- Give your money or your life Take 'em both for all I care Dump your bullets right here
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MushmanTheManic
Stranger

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Re: How to repair a Nervous Breakdown [Re: koppie]
#5288950 - 02/11/06 02:47 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
koppie said: demius: It's not giving in, I would say it is the exact opposite. Many of the ideas and frustrations we have, like "I must be successful", "Why don't people like me, they are supposed to like me, what's wrong with me", "I have a right to X,Y or Z ,it's so unfair" to "This world is fucked, it's not supposed to be like this" are just ideas and social pressures that we have been thought by our culture, whether it's mainstream culture or our own subculture or the counterculture in general.
REBT? It seems much more healthy and rational to think, "I perfer to be successful, but I can probably still be happy otherwise", "I would perfer that these people enjoy my company, but if they don't, I'm sure I can find others who will", etc.
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Dmonikal
Bareback up inthis neden


Registered: 09/06/04
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Exactly man, what people think of me no longer matters to me. I found my heart again as deep as it was burried in darkness and despair it was still there. That gave me so much joy I went insane again. LOL
-------------------- Give your money or your life Take 'em both for all I care Dump your bullets right here
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MarkostheGnostic
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Re: How to repair a Nervous Breakdown [Re: Dmonikal]
#5289388 - 02/11/06 04:45 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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If I'm not mistaken, this would belong in the 'Physical and Mental Well- Being' forum. Sorry you are ill though...don't intend to seem rejecting, but these forums are largely for hobby, recreation and virtual sociality. Not to say that learning or healing can't occur through this medium, but one really shouldn't put any expectations on them for that. Still, the other forum would be more to your point.
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fresh313
journeyman


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sometimes expectations all u got
no attachments doe
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demiu5
humans, lol


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Re: How to repair a Nervous Breakdown [Re: koppie]
#5289732 - 02/11/06 07:15 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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To be honest, I'm not sure, at all, what you are saying. Yes, you're right when you say I feel broken (empty is a good word). I'm not going to elaborate on what I am going through unless you wish to do so privately. I know my life is not bad, I'm just in a rough spot, a place I haven't been in before or at least with no similarity to anything else I know.
I think, though, you misunderstood what I was trying to say. I'm not terribly worried about success or people liking me. If those things happen, great, if not, then alright too. Additionally, I didn't say I was having a nervous breakdown. I know my situation stems from uncertainty. I'm not worried about fitting into society's ideas or ideals. But I'm not willing to become someone else to make it easier on myself. This isn't saying I'm not willing to change, because I feel something is about to happen if I don't; I feel like I'm on my way to breaking down, and yes, this is because of everything else around me and that always has been around me.
I'm not at peace, but I want to be.
This is not a well forumlated thought, so I hope it makes some sense, and please, come back at me, maybe we can understand each other's meanings better.
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
Edited by demius (02/11/06 07:17 PM)
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fresh313
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Re: How to repair a Nervous Breakdown [Re: demiu5]
#5290847 - 02/12/06 05:56 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
demius said: This isn't saying I'm not willing to change, because I feel something is about to happen if I don't; I feel like I'm on my way to breaking down, and yes, this is because of everything else around me and that always has been around me.
stop drop settle down open up shop
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