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OfflinejustAkid
Member of myCulture

Registered: 11/05/05
Posts: 323
Loc: The Present
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
How to help people in need
    #5284034 - 02/09/06 11:02 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Beyond physical needs there are needs for happiness, or at least a need for escaping the pain of depression and rejection.

My friend is in need and I want to help so desperately and show him all the love the world and I can offer. 

My friend has had a hard time with his life.  His father left him and his family of five children, of which he is the oldest, when he was in 8th grade.  I only met him when he was in 10th.  Ever since I met him I could see the look of confusion and hostility in him.  He has been in countless fights with anyone who might come across him the wrong way.    About six months ago I learned he is being medicated for depression and he still is.  He has become incresingly abusive in respect to alchohol.  He had been Baker Acted twice in the last two months because of high levels of alchohol consumption and other unknown drug consumption. 

I do not know this downward spiral he is on.  After all I'm justAkid.  I don't know many things people experience.  I don't even think I can relate to his sorrow.  But I can see is his pain.  And this just extends my love towards him all the more.  I believe showing him love is one of the best things I can do.  I feel like I should be doing something more, but I fear addressing his problems will lead to him hating me, or lead to him realizing his situation and furthering his hopelessness.

Now it seems that I am in need of help from you all.  Please. :heart:


--------------------
Trust thyself.


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OfflineCherk
Fashionable
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Registered: 10/25/02
Posts: 46,493
Loc: International Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: How to help people in need [Re: justAkid]
    #5284317 - 02/10/06 12:41 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Talking and thinking about showing love is one thing, giving it and being it is another.  Jump in and do it.  If you're sincere in your interactions he will sense it and react however he has programmed himself to.  It is irrational to assume responsiblity for his emotions. :mushroom2:


--------------------
I have considered such matters.

SIKE


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Offlinehorha
trout
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Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 292
Last seen: 17 years, 3 months
Re: How to help people in need [Re: Cherk]
    #5284334 - 02/10/06 12:52 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

i have found that it is best to let your freinds know when they are going down the wrong path thats what real friend are for. and sometime people are going to do ther deal no matter what you say but you have tou do the right thing and atlest say something and hope for the best but just know that some people have to learn the hard way.


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InvisibleLe_Canard
The Duk Abides

Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1 Flag
Re: How to help people in need [Re: justAkid]
    #5284338 - 02/10/06 12:54 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

yes, just be a good friend to him. It sounds like he needs a friend.


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InvisibleDmonikal
Bareback up inthis neden
Male User Gallery

Registered: 09/06/04
Posts: 474
Re: How to help people in need [Re: Le_Canard]
    #5284425 - 02/10/06 01:45 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

"Beyond physical needs there are needs for happiness, or at least a need for escaping the pain of depression and rejection."



This is much bigger then most people are willing to accept. I spent around 3 years of my life in psych wards and mood disorder clinics, so I am all over this like a bad ass motherfucker.




"My friend is in need and I want to help so desperately and show him all the love the world and I can offer."




Tell him how much you love him and show him how much you care in every way you can think of and do everything you can think of to ease his suffering. Take him to movies etc. entertain the hell out of him. Always watch funny movies and nothing sappy or that will make it worse or anything motivated towards his despair.

"My friend has had a hard time with his life. His father left him and his family of five children, of which he is the oldest, when he was in 8th grade. I only met him when he was in 10th. Ever since I met him I could see the look of confusion and hostility in him. He has been in countless fights with anyone who might come across him the wrong way. About six months ago I learned he is being medicated for depression and he still is. He has become increasingly abusive in respect to alchohol. He had been Baker Acted twice in the last two months because of high levels of alchohol consumption and other unknown drug consumption."




Medicated for 11 years here. I have been maced beat up, been the beater etc. Grew up poor and hopeless. Also been a junky. Tried to kill myself once. Get him off the booze however you can even if that means having his ass arrested. Get him to detox. Do whatever you can to prevent his habits. You have to or someone has to stop him from this path or he may die. This is some serious shit man. Your buddy is in real danger of suicide. One day he might get fucked up and die in one way or another.





"I do not know this downward spiral he is on. After all I'm justAkid. I don't know many things people experience. I don't even think I can relate to his sorrow. But I can see is his pain. And this just extends my love towards him all the more. I believe showing him love is one of the best things I can do. I feel like I should be doing something more, but I fear addressing his problems will lead to him hating me, or lead to him realizing his situation and furthering his hopelessness."




I can relate to the godless empty loathing of addiction and depression, been there done that. Hell my sig is a pic of one of the most depressing bands that ever existed. What kind of music does he listen to? I bet it isn't good stuff. Probably metal or something depressing. I have a feeling he is a closet user. It sucks man, probably the worst thing he will ever go through. I have smoked weed invisibly for years. No smell no mess with no one noticing. Liked to get drunk at least once a week sometimes all week. I would get high on anything that I could find and chances are he does too. Love is the answer bro and you got some hard work to do to save his life. You may have to get him forcibly into a treatment center.



"Now it seems that I am in need of help from you all. Please."





I will do my best to help but please keep us updated one his condition I will offer advice as much as I can. Keep a record of what he does what he says where he gos and when, what he listens to and especially what he says. He is tore up inside about something and he isn't saying. Pry it from him if you can but be real nice about it. EVERYTHING you do must be nice. You have to teach him that no matter what he has to say that you love him and that even though you don't understand what he is going through that he CAN talk to you about it and it is going to take awhile. You will have to start very slowly so as not to upset him and build a closer relationship.
If you help him through this he is going to be one of the best if not the best friends you will ever have. He is hurting about something and the answer is going to be a whole shit load of things and this is
going to take awhile. He should not be doing any drugs of any kind right now. You might have to stop doing them yourself, which might be hard. That alone might sober him up abit. He needs some serious therapy and the longer this gos on the worse he will get.

Much Love and I hope from the bottom of my heart that he gets through this  :heart:


--------------------
Give your money or your life
Take 'em both for all I care
Dump your bullets right here


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
Livin in theTwilight Zone...
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Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 9,954
Loc: You can't spell fungus wi...
Re: How to help people in need [Re: justAkid]
    #5284438 - 02/10/06 01:53 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Remember when trying to help others: Effectively teaching and promoting the change of philosophy to one that is consistent with an individual's own life and ability to achieve their own goals is the solution.




--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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OfflineSneezingPenis
ACHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!111!
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Registered: 01/15/05
Posts: 15,427
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Re: How to help people in need [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #5284446 - 02/10/06 01:56 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

and no less than 72 hours in a sensory deprivation tank.... that can always put life in perspective.


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InvisibleDmonikal
Bareback up inthis neden
Male User Gallery

Registered: 09/06/04
Posts: 474
Re: How to help people in need [Re: SneezingPenis]
    #5284472 - 02/10/06 02:06 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

and no less than 72 hours in a sensory deprivation tank.... that can always put life in perspective.

Sure does I've been in the rubber room before. lol


--------------------
Give your money or your life
Take 'em both for all I care
Dump your bullets right here


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Offlinegregorio
Too Damn Old
Male

Registered: 09/08/05
Posts: 2,831
Loc: Classified
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
Re: How to help people in need [Re: Dmonikal]
    #5284771 - 02/10/06 06:54 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Get him off the booze however you can even if that means having his ass arrested.




No, don't do that.


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Offlineblaze2
The Witness
Male

Registered: 12/20/02
Posts: 1,883
Loc: San Antonio, TX
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Re: How to help people in need [Re: gregorio]
    #5286306 - 02/10/06 03:14 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

nope dont have him arrested, no one deserves jail, it is an evil place. When he gets out he will do the same things minus being your friend. Help him by being his friend. nothing more. Many people do not appreciate being told what they need to do to get better. Instead just try to get him to go out and do things see people, positive people. Try to get him High, instead of drunk. get close to him, without trying to fix him. Just getting close to him WILL fix him alot. He probrobly doenst have anybody to tell stuff to get it off his chest. You can tell him he doesnt need drugs and alcohol but if hes anything like myself then he does what he wants. Get drunk with him, be his drinking buddy.

It seems to me that people in depression(I was there for awhile) forget about everyone else because their own problems are so numerous. relate to him first, THEN he'll relate to you. Remember that you cant expect to have one of us just give you the perfect thing to say then poof! he changes into a perfect person. No ones perfect, but he is doing himself harm(I did too).

Be the rock for him to hang on to, but you have to let him pull himself up out of the water.


--------------------
"Religion without science is blind, Science without religion is lame." Albert Einstein

"peace is not maintained through force it is acheived through intelligence." Albert Einstein

"Those who desire to give up Freedom in order to gain Security, will not have, nor do they deserve, either one."
Thomas Jefferson

"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical." --Thomas Jefferson


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Offlinefireworks_godS
Sexy.Butt.McDanger
Male

Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,855
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 1 year, 12 days
Re: How to help people in need [Re: SneezingPenis]
    #5290815 - 02/12/06 05:21 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

psilocyberin said:
and no less than 72 hours in a sensory deprivation tank.... that can always put life in perspective.




In the perspective of someone who has been deprived of their sensations. :smirk:

Whatever conclusions result from such a perspective may or may not be valid.

:headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :satansmoking:
Peace. :mushroom2:


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:


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Offlinefireworks_godS
Sexy.Butt.McDanger
Male

Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,855
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 1 year, 12 days
Re: How to help people in need [Re: justAkid]
    #5290828 - 02/12/06 05:29 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

justAkid said:
Now it seems that I am in need of help from you all.  Please. :heart:




Simply being there is all that you can really do. Present yourself as an understanding awareness and nothing more, and they will decide your role in assisting them. A developed, critically thinking mind capable of conducting life needs to support itself - encourage doing so by supporting yourself and being present.

:headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :satansmoking:
Peace. :mushroom2:


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:


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OfflineDankAne
Stranger
Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 63
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
Re: How to help people in need [Re: fireworks_god]
    #5290893 - 02/12/06 07:29 AM (17 years, 11 months ago)

If I were in your situation, I would tell him I know about all his pain and I want to help him. I want to get him to be comfterable, and happy, and enjoy all present moments. I would try to get him to exist in happiness, rather then anger. Trip out, show him that he is so important to you that you care about his well-being. You want to see him be happy at all moments. Not just some situations. If he is insecure, tell him you know he is insecure, but he doesn't need to be. He knows everything that he needs to know. Tell him you know what he thinks, how it effects him every single day. You do know what he thinks, you can tell he is thinking about it, he should be talking about it with you rather then keeping it bottled up, that's a huge problem.


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