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spudamore
Stranger

Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 1,460
Loc: Australia
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Breakthrough
#5271872 - 02/06/06 11:14 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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i had a breakthrough into my own Psyche, i was meditating and there were parts in my own body that i felt it was very drained so i started to ask myself what caused this, answers came up straight away, everything to do with my relationships with people and how i have always used them for support, discipline that i need to create more in my life, the more i let go the more i found out about myself, but the more i try to hold on to the old the more paranoid and agitated i got. also the great thing(well not so great) is i actually felt what others were feeling about me at certain times in life, it was quite overwhelming but a wonderful experience.........
who needs drugs to experience such things?!!!
has anybody else experienced anything of the likes?
-------------------- suicide a permanent solution to a temporary problem
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secretmachine
lover of mystery

Registered: 08/27/04
Posts: 72
Last seen: 15 years, 4 months
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Re: Breakthrough [Re: spudamore]
#5272392 - 02/07/06 06:37 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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yep, that is a healing technique i have been using for some time. Its really quite amazing how well it works.
-------------------- --- A civilization based on authority-and-submission is a civilization without the means of self-correction. Effective communication flows only one way: from master-group to servile-group. Any cyberneticist knows that such a one-way communication channel lacks feedback and cannot behave "intelligently." the principle of authority" was the "eminently theological, metaphysical and political idea that the masses, always incapable of governing themselves, must submit at all times to the benevolent yoke of a wisdom and a justice, which in one way or another, is imposed from above." "no one should be entrusted with power, inasmuch as anyone invested with authority must . . . became an oppressor and exploiter of society."
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Seuss
Error: divide byzero


Registered: 04/27/01
Posts: 23,480
Loc: Caribbean
Last seen: 2 months, 20 days
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> has anybody else experienced anything of the likes?
Yep... Eventually you get to the point where you no longer need to ask yourself questions and answers are simply known.
-------------------- Just another spore in the wind.
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spudamore
Stranger

Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 1,460
Loc: Australia
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Re: Breakthrough [Re: spudamore]
#5275761 - 02/07/06 11:17 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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a day and half later after the experience feel depressed and alot of anger has been thrown around the house but not only by me but my family also, i feel though i am caged into a lifestyle that i simply want to break free from, seeing my potiential and the paths that i have to take i feel in a need of to rush everything, i know intellectually that i need patience.
fuck i am so down
-------------------- suicide a permanent solution to a temporary problem
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gettinjiggywithit
jiggy


Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
Loc: Heart of Laughter
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Re: Breakthrough [Re: spudamore]
#5275923 - 02/08/06 12:17 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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I almost did a reply when you first put that post up that was going to prepare you for feeling like shit in a few days to come. I didn't want to be a buzz kill. You got the insight, and we get a rush from it. If we don't ACT on it, and make the changes, we crash hard.
You have been aware of this and talking about needing to change your environment since I've known you.
You need a well thought out plan spudamore and then you need to follow it step by step until you are where you want to be. Thats the practical advice.
I think you fell into a proverbial sink hole many did thinking something was going to drop from the sky and take us to wonderland.
In a way, that is what happens yet it takes you to get the machinery in gear and rolling. Drop your consciousness down from your head into your heart and it will show you the way to wonderland.
Often, a change of environment does do us wonders, but what really happens first for us to even get motivated to make that change, is a change of the inner environment so the otter can reflect them. The universal laws of attraction will do the work from there providing you act to work with it. It'll meet us half way and help those that are helping themselves.
You were shown your co-dependent type behavior. The action needed to break free from that is to start depending on yourself more to make things happen.
Start there. What things do you think and feel about yourself that make you think you can't depend or rely on yourself to make something new happen? Ask yourself how you are getting in your own way what are the thoughts that are blocking you from realizing the greater part of you that can make new things happen.
Start with small goals and every time you accomplish one, revel in the "I can do it" energy. Start building up confidence that way. Make them easily attainable goals, like washing your car, or cleaning out and organizing a closet, finishing a book, or smiling at two strangers when you are out in public and say hello as you pass by.
Build them up to a little more challenging ones in the days and weeks to follow.
Also work on a get out of dodge plan and work up to taking the steps to see that plan through every day.
You are a beautiful soul spudamore and it sucks to know you are down. You deserve so much from life. Own yourself and claim it all. co-dependants give ownership of themselves over and away to others. That never feels good or empowering. Start reclaiming yourself and then you'll be able to reclaim your life.
I don't know what else to say, except that I can relate and shared with you what I do when I am in the pity party down and out shitz. We get ourselves into them and its we who get ourselves out of them.
In the mean time :
-------------------- Ahuwale ka nane huna.
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spudamore
Stranger

Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 1,460
Loc: Australia
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the only thing that sucks is that changes has been so slow for me i am just about up on my own feet but still have a long path ahead of me to get there or so it seems at the moment. yeah i know all that stuff that you said i often myself give the same advice all the time but when it comes down to the crunch i just can't do it, something is telling otherwise.
-------------------- suicide a permanent solution to a temporary problem
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gettinjiggywithit
jiggy


Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
Loc: Heart of Laughter
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Re: Breakthrough [Re: spudamore]
#5276029 - 02/08/06 12:55 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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I know you know that stuff. Just reinforcing some reminders.
Ever see this one for can't Chose Again Not To
Maybe meditate on that. Maybe there is some fear there. They say, it's not our darkness or weakness we fear so much as it is our light and power.
Love you spuddy buddy!
-------------------- Ahuwale ka nane huna.
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Seuss
Error: divide byzero


Registered: 04/27/01
Posts: 23,480
Loc: Caribbean
Last seen: 2 months, 20 days
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> the only thing that sucks is that changes has been so slow
An old Zen saying... think not in terms of months or years, but in terms of lifetimes...
-------------------- Just another spore in the wind.
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gettinjiggywithit
jiggy


Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
Loc: Heart of Laughter
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Re: Breakthrough [Re: Seuss]
#5277134 - 02/08/06 11:40 AM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Seuss said: > the only thing that sucks is that changes has been so slow
An old Zen saying... think not in terms of months or years, but in terms of lifetimes...

Indeed. I almost typed to him that he has eternity to get where he wants to be, whats the rush? 
I also like the saying that "timing is everything"
Related to co-dependancy, sometimes, it's those we think we need who, are also leaning on us to feel needed by us. It's a two way relationship that can get sticky and make you feel stuck. Sometimes, I think people feel guilty at the thought of breaking away from those who need to feel needed by us. I find that, if you show them appreciation, you can easily remove the "need support" behavior and the relationship can not only remain, but it gets healthier.
Really, I think sometimes, its not that we want to be needed by anyone. That becomes a drag and a drain to maintain. We are just looking to be appreciated for just being who we are. Start appreciating yourselves more and the less, you will contribute to co-dependent relationships and move into more enjoyable relationships.
Even in my household a few days back I got down feeling like everyones maid and servant and I dropped the gauntlet. I was feeling taken for granted and thought I wanted some more appreciation for all I do for them to acknowledge. And they did pour heartfelt appreciation on me and that was nice, however, with further thought, I realized, it was ME that stopped appreciating myself and what I CAN DO and DO DO that lead to my downer feelings.
That made the world of difference when I saw myself in a new light again and began appreciating myself better once more. Thats all I needed, myself to feel up and good again.
Maybe you can relate that to your situation and use it. Or maybe someone else out there can and use it.
-------------------- Ahuwale ka nane huna.
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spudamore
Stranger

Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 1,460
Loc: Australia
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i think the biggest problem is seeing such spiritual beauty or what seemed like perfection and being truely free, coming back to a body and life/reality that seems so limited and constricted its so hard to deal with. i normally am a happy being and haven't been through this bad of a depressive state for over a year now i thought it was over but now i have to deal with it all over again.
-------------------- suicide a permanent solution to a temporary problem
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gettinjiggywithit
jiggy


Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
Loc: Heart of Laughter
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Re: Breakthrough [Re: spudamore]
#5281815 - 02/09/06 01:25 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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Ahhhhhh, I thought you were feeling stuck in rut lacking motivation.
Yes, a Huge wave of energy was dumped into the planet to do more clearing as of late. It's knocking out more of the deeply buried junk. A lot of us thought we had it all cleared and were flying high and then found ourselves in dark places again recently. Don't feel like you failed at anything "spiritually speaking". Spirit doesn't judge this stuff that's a part of human nature.
Cats lick their own ass and its all a part of how it goes.
Let the anger play itself out. Let the sadness play itself out. Let the moods and emotions play themselves out. The more we judge them, go to repress them "again" or resist them, the longer this shadow work (moving through our own darkness" and the releasing what is stuck as being real will last.
Be brave and move through it to the light at the end of the tunnel. Its always there.
Ever catch yourself taking something so seriously that it suddenly becomes ridiculous to you and you just start laughing? Let that happen and keep letting go of the dense stuff.
-------------------- Ahuwale ka nane huna.
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spudamore
Stranger

Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 1,460
Loc: Australia
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Quote:
gettinjiggywithit said: Ahhhhhh, I thought you were feeling stuck in rut lacking motivation.
yeah that too but i just feel that i want to be free from my physicality.
-------------------- suicide a permanent solution to a temporary problem
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gettinjiggywithit
jiggy


Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
Loc: Heart of Laughter
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Re: Breakthrough [Re: spudamore]
#5283808 - 02/09/06 10:09 PM (17 years, 11 months ago) |
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I can relate to that one too lately. I enjoy my life, love it and have so much to enjoy and be thankful for. Things are going very well for me. I don't want to give my life up at all. Yet, yes, lately, lugging these biobody space suits around just feels heavy and restrictive to soul and spirit doesn't it?
It's weird, the more the spirit soars to dizzying heights, the heavier the body feels and you just want to strip it off like a pair of soggy wet jeans or a winter jacket on a hot summer day.
I haven't been giving it much thought lately, though I have made note of that feeling a handful of times, lately and know what you mean.
If you figure out how to reconcile it, let me know. We must just have an assemblage point ajar, or out of alignment or something. I think when we finish this round of clearing dense crap away, things will realign and sync up again. It'll pass.
In the meantime, these things can be a pain in the ass. They need exercise, sleep, food, water, cleaning maintenance, clothing, sheltering, blah blah blah so you can just feel good in them.
Maybe it has something to do with this "being at home now" energy messing with our heads. I don't recall carrying this needy thing around in the place I remember and think of as "home". I think being in the heart of love 24/7 is our only cure here spuddy buddy for the physicality blues. 
When things get sucko, remember this saying "And this to shall pass"
hahaha I just looked at your post header and thought of the song by the DOORS.....break on through to the other side, break on through to the other side break break break yeeeeeeeeaaaaah.
I'm going to look up the lyrics to that and post em 
-------------------- Ahuwale ka nane huna.
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Dmonikal
Bareback up inthis neden


Registered: 09/06/04
Posts: 474
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i had a breakthrough into my own Psyche, i was meditating and there were parts in my own body that i felt it was very drained so i started to ask myself what caused this, answers came up straight away, everything to do with my relationships with people and how i have always used them for support, discipline that i need to create more in my life, the more i let go the more i found out about myself, but the more i try to hold on to the old the more paranoid and agitated i got. also the great thing(well not so great) is i actually felt what others were feeling about me at certain times in life, it was quite overwhelming but a wonderful experience.........
who needs drugs to experience such things?!!!
has anybody else experienced anything of the likes?
May the white light of true knowledge guide thine path.
-------------------- Give your money or your life Take 'em both for all I care Dump your bullets right here
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gettinjiggywithit
jiggy


Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
Loc: Heart of Laughter
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Morrison was an interesting poet philosopher. Hmmmmm
Break on Through
You know the day destroys the night Night divides the day Tried to run Tried to hide Break on through to the other side Break on through to the other side Break on through to the other side, yeah
We chased our pleasures here Dug our treasures there But can you still recall The time we cried Break on through to the other side Break on through to the other side
Yeah! C?mon, yeah
Everybody loves my baby Everybody loves my baby She get She get She get She get high
I found an island in your arms Country in your eyes Arms that chain us Eyes that lie Break on through to the other side Break on through to the other side Break on through, oww! Oh, yeah!
Made the scene Week to week Day to day Hour to hour The gate is straight Deep and wide Break on through to the other side Break on through to the other side Break on through Break on through Break on through Break on through Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
-------------------- Ahuwale ka nane huna.
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Dmonikal
Bareback up inthis neden


Registered: 09/06/04
Posts: 474
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"Terrible Lie" (Nine Inch Nails) (album Pretty hate machine) Lived my life to this tune, well all my life until recently, I am starting to get my happy thoughts back and off to nevernever land again. Trent Reznor has impressed me like no other musician ever has:
hey God why are you doing this to me? am i not living up to what i'm supposed to be? why am i seething with this animosity? hey God i think you owe me a great big apology.
terrible lie terrible lie terrible lie terrible lie
hey God i really don't know what you mean. seems like salvation come only in our dreams. i feel my hatred grow all the more extreme. hey God can this world really be as sad as it seems?
terrible lie terrible lie terrible lie terrible lie
don't take it away from me. i need someone to hold on to. don't take it away from me. i need someone to hold on to.
hey God there's nothing left for me to hide. i lost my ignorance, security and pride. i'm all alone in a world you must despise. hey God i believed your promises, your promises and lies.
terrible lie terrible lie terrible lie terrible lie
you made me throw it all away. my morals left to decay. how many you betray. you've taken everything.
terrible lie. my head is filled with disease. my skin is begging you please. i'm on my hands and knees. i want so much to believe.
i need someone to hold on to. i need someone to hold on to. i need someone i need someone. i need someone to hold on to. i give you everything. my sweet everything. hey God i really don't know who i am. in this world of piss
-------------------- Give your money or your life Take 'em both for all I care Dump your bullets right here
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