So, trippin balls here, harder than i have in quite a long time, so much so that my mind starts going into some really intense thought loops. This had only really happened to me once before, and i totally freaked out then, because i was completely alone, taking care of someone else's property, out of any possible contact with anyone i knew, at least an hour drive to anyone that i knew and trusted, and well, just got scared of how hard i was tripping. Last time i took some acid, i took 2 REALLY strong hits of liquid, and my gf at the time (still is actually) used to be a gabber dj (really fucking good, well known, pioneering female dj in the area), and we went over to her friend's place. He was a hardcore/gabber dj also. I had never even heard gabber for more than 5 minutes before this moment. He played 2 of his full sets, back to back, which meant that for 5 hours, peaking on some of the strongest acid i have ever encountered, was "forced" to endure the "assault" of this music. As we were coming down from this obviously intense experience, he said something to me that stuck out: "i picked up on the acid mindset a little to quickly." I didnt know exactly what he meant, so i asked him. "The key is to just not think." Since then, i have not looked at lsd in quite the same way... So, tonight when it happened, again, that i was having hard thought and time loops, i decided to just let it happen and see what the outcome would be. So, once i started to come out of it a little bit, i wrote down my thoughts on what was going on in/to my consciousness in relation to the thought loop. This is written in the form of a note to myself: a concept is realized (usually spontaneously through intuitive means), the conscious mind then analyzes that concept, but because of the nature of the intoxicant, my mind focuses completely on the analysis, forgetting what the point of doing the analysis was. I slowly realize that im analyzing why im analyzing, and become aware that im caught in another thought loop. Then, i analyze why i was having that thought loop, remember the original concept, and again, due to the nature of my mind and the intoxicant, i had forgotten the results of having this realization and analyzing it at all. So, i instead realize it, try to analyze and deconstruct it in exactly the same way as i did the first time, only to fall prey to the initial causes of the thought loop. Then, interestingly enough, next time the loop occurs, i will remember that i had had that loop before, and then start analyzing the loops and the fact that loops occur. And then, eventually, just become aware of the nature of how my mind is behaving at that time, which is one of preposterous loops that make no sense. Anyway, i dont know if this will even interest anyone, but i thought i'd share a thought i had.... thanks :) oh, wanted to add one more thing. This is a poem i just came up with: high as fuck, happy and wondering, thinking and pondering. How is it going? Not quite sure yet. I will tell you in the morning. hopefulllly someone feels like responding :)
-------------------- True wisdom is the knowledge that nothing is impossible except for absolute knowledge.
Edited by UrQuattro (01/20/02 08:37 AM)
|
The thought patterns sound very familiar, and as you, a tripper before me gave me a similar piece of advice...she said " We are human beings, not human doings, just be".......
-------------------- Going crazy will drive you mad, but once you get there the rest is easy....All spores are not created equal!!!!!!!!!!! Sporeworks, Hawkseye, PF, they are completely viable with very strong genetics.
|