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Invisiblechodamunky
Cheers!

Registered: 02/28/02
Posts: 2,030
Loc: sailing the seas of chees...
funny mike tyson quotes
    #5253116 - 02/01/06 09:39 PM (18 years, 10 hours ago)



?He called me a ?rapist? and a ?recluse.? I?m not a recluse."

?Lennox Lewis, I?m coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I?m just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!?

"I paid a worker at New York?s zoo to re-open it just for me and Robin. When we got to the gorilla cage there was 1 big silverback gorilla there just bullying all the other gorillas. They were so powerful but their eyes were like an innocent infant. I offered the attendant $10,000 to open the cage and let me smash that silverback?s snotbox! He declined.?

?Anyone with a grain of sense would know that if I punched my wife I would rip her head off. It?s all lies. I have never laid a finger on her.?

?One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like a infantile retard.?

?When you see me smash somebody?s skull, you enjoy it.?

On Boxing

?I try to catch him right on the tip of the nose, because I try to push the bone into the brain.?

?My power is discombobulatingly devastating I could feel is muscle tissues collapse under my force. It?s ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm.?


On the Media

?I want to throw down your kid and stomp on his testicles, and then you will know what it is like to experience waking up everyday as me. And only then will you feel my pain."


and my personal favourite.....


?I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating.?


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Offlinederyl
Stranger
Male

Registered: 10/21/04
Posts: 1,220
Loc: Uncle Tom's
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
Re: funny mike tyson quotes [Re: chodamunky]
    #5253145 - 02/01/06 09:44 PM (18 years, 10 hours ago)

This is a prime example of what getting punched in the head repeatedly will do to someone....


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OfflineDeadmaker
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Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 5,471
Last seen: 2 months, 5 days
Re: funny mike tyson quotes [Re: chodamunky]
    #5253153 - 02/01/06 09:46 PM (18 years, 10 hours ago)

Mike is awesome if you waqnt some laughs.....what a horrible man though.


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Offlinegregorio
Too Damn Old
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Registered: 09/08/05
Posts: 2,831
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Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
Re: funny mike tyson quotes [Re: chodamunky]
    #5253173 - 02/01/06 09:49 PM (18 years, 10 hours ago)

Quote:

?Anyone with a grain of sense would know that if I punched my wife I would rip her head off. It?s all lies. I have never laid a finger on her.?




I believe him.


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OfflinePinballWizard
Naive and Gullible as usual

Registered: 03/20/04
Posts: 2,804
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
Re: funny mike tyson quotes [Re: chodamunky]
    #5253223 - 02/01/06 10:02 PM (18 years, 10 hours ago)

He actually said those things to the press?


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InvisibleRESTLESS
C.M.L.W.

Registered: 06/21/05
Posts: 21,817
Re: funny mike tyson quotes [Re: chodamunky]
    #5253224 - 02/01/06 10:02 PM (18 years, 10 hours ago)

:rofl:


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Invisibleeligal
Noobie

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
Re: funny mike tyson quotes [Re: chodamunky]
    #5253255 - 02/01/06 10:09 PM (18 years, 10 hours ago)

lol, nice quotes. although you gotta admit, mike tyson in his earlier days was one hell of a fighter.


--------------------
\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."



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Invisiblechodamunky
Cheers!

Registered: 02/28/02
Posts: 2,030
Loc: sailing the seas of chees...
Re: funny mike tyson quotes [Re: PinballWizard]
    #5253259 - 02/01/06 10:09 PM (18 years, 10 hours ago)

Quote:

PinballWizard said:
He actually said those things to the press?




oh yea.. have u ever seen a boxing match with him? His post-match interviews are golden.


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OfflineDeadmaker
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Re: funny mike tyson quotes [Re: RESTLESS]
    #5253261 - 02/01/06 10:09 PM (18 years, 10 hours ago)

My favorite is

?He called me a ?rapist? and a ?recluse.? I?m not a recluse."


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OfflineDeadmaker
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Re: funny mike tyson quotes [Re: Deadmaker]
    #5253305 - 02/01/06 10:16 PM (18 years, 10 hours ago)

On Evander Holyfield

"You got nothing coming, man. I'm going to enjoy this fight."

After biting Holyfield he said, "This is my career. I have children to raise. I have to retaliate. He butted me. Look at me. My kids will be scared of me."

"I felt Holyfield was using his head illegally. I told the referee I wasn't getting any help, so I went back to the streets. I cannot defend it, but it happened."


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OfflineDeadmaker
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Re: funny mike tyson quotes [Re: Deadmaker]
    #5253313 - 02/01/06 10:17 PM (18 years, 10 hours ago)

On Razor Ruddock

"You're sweet. I'm going to make sure you kiss me good with those big lips. I'm gonna make you my girlfriend."

On Tyrell Biggs

Tyson on Tyrell Biggs' complaining to him about low blows "Low blows? Low blows? Huh! Motherf**ker you're fittin' to die!"

"He was screaming like my wife."

"I could have knocked him out in the third round but I wanted to do it slowly, so he would remember this night for a long time."


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OfflineDeadmaker
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Re: funny mike tyson quotes [Re: Deadmaker]
    #5253356 - 02/01/06 10:26 PM (18 years, 10 hours ago)

"My power is discombobulatingly devastating I could feel is muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm."

"If I take this camera and put it in your face for 20 years, I don't know what you might be. You might be a homosexual if I put that camera on you since you were 13 years old. I've been on that camera since I was 13 years old."

"I just want to conquer people and their souls."


Here's a bunchmore


http://kjkolb.tripod.com/homepage/miketysonquotes.html


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OfflineHtownCattleranch
Herper
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Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 100
Loc: N. Houston
Last seen: 17 years, 9 months
Re: funny mike tyson quotes [Re: Deadmaker]
    #5253387 - 02/01/06 10:32 PM (18 years, 10 hours ago)

Know doubt a great fighter but he probably has an 80 IQ.


--------------------
JUST BANG IT OUT!


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OfflineDeadmaker
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Re: funny mike tyson quotes [Re: HtownCattleranch]
    #5253674 - 02/01/06 11:39 PM (18 years, 8 hours ago)

"Look at you scared now, you hoe. Scared like a little white pussy. Scared of the real man. I'll fuck you 'til you love me, faggot. I want to give him the bucher towel rack"


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OfflineKonnrade
↑↑↓↓<--><-->BA
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Registered: 09/13/05
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Re: funny mike tyson quotes [Re: chodamunky]
    #5253762 - 02/02/06 12:04 AM (18 years, 8 hours ago)

The funny thing is, if tyson hadn't discovered boxing as a way to vent his violence, he'd probably have just spent his lifetime in an asylum for the criminally insane.


--------------------

I find your lack of faith disturbing


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Invisiblechodamunky
Cheers!

Registered: 02/28/02
Posts: 2,030
Loc: sailing the seas of chees...
Re: funny mike tyson quotes [Re: Konnrade]
    #5253998 - 02/02/06 02:36 AM (18 years, 6 hours ago)

hah, i never thought of that.... imagine the poor souls that would get utterly destroyed if they crossed his path on the street..


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OfflineKonnrade
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Re: funny mike tyson quotes [Re: chodamunky]
    #5254007 - 02/02/06 02:51 AM (18 years, 5 hours ago)

One moment you're staggering home, drunk, from your favorite pub.

The next thing you know your head is rolling down the street and tyson is fucking your corpse while simultaneously pummeling it into a squishy gelatinous substance.


--------------------

I find your lack of faith disturbing


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InvisibleIn(di)go
People of the sun.
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Registered: 10/29/00
Posts: 8,157
Loc: Cologne, Germany
Re: funny mike tyson quotes [Re: Konnrade]
    #5254133 - 02/02/06 05:33 AM (18 years, 3 hours ago)

oooooooooowwww... that is the sorta thing you DON'T want to picture in your mind...


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Offlineblueferret
some guy

Registered: 12/11/02
Posts: 355
Loc: cow town
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
Re: funny mike tyson quotes [Re: Konnrade]
    #5254162 - 02/02/06 06:05 AM (18 years, 2 hours ago)

HOT!


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: funny mike tyson quotes [Re: blueferret]
    #5254181 - 02/02/06 06:21 AM (18 years, 2 hours ago)

Tyson is fucking hilarious.


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