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OfflinetrendalM
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part 1 of a trip report...
    #523366 - 01/17/02 10:59 AM (15 years, 9 months ago)

I tripped last friday on 8g's cubensis. That's easily at least 2x as much as I had ever done previously (and I tend to go through the roof with as little as 2g's). I had also waited for just over one year since my previous trip. It almost felt like tripping for the first time, again.

As I spent most of the trip alone (only one other person was tripping, and he was feeling so sick that he layed in bed trying to sleep for most of the trip) in my friend's basement, I had a lot more time to think about myself than I normally do when tripping.

For most of the trip I could hear what sounded like a large group of people whispering to me from behind. I couldn't hear what was being said, but I knew that they were more or less making fun of me. They wanted to see me fall from my perch of happiness into depression. More horribly, they wanted to see me laughed at by the people I consider friends.

I'm still trying to analize my trip (most of the important parts are still too strong to think about), but I've come to a conclusion on the voices. Now when I think about it, sober, I realize that the voices were not trying to ruin me. They were trying to tell me something I did not want to hear: the fact that recognition and what others think about me plays too big a part in my life. While tripping, I turned this insight into a host of evil voices. Sober, I now understand some of my weak points.

Another realization, one that came more easily into my view, is linked into what I learned from the voices. I am a show-off, a major show-off. I realized, in one glorious moment of self-perceptual clarity, that when I'm showing off (through bragging or direct action) I am trying to be someone and something that I am most certainly not. I realized that I use drugs, unfortunately, to show off to the people who truely are my friends. Why was an easy next step, and was what lead to the voices. I am much more unsure of myself than I normally think/act, and because of this I feel a need to be accepted by the people who already accept me. That leads to unnecessary behavior: showing off.

Well, those are two brief parts to the trip which lasted well into the 8 hour mark. Hopefully I will be able to analyze the other important insights I had.

I would love it if these insights could help someone else who may share some of my weaknesses :-)


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OfflineDXMHEAD420
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Re: part 1 of a trip report... [Re: trendal]
    #523554 - 01/17/02 03:51 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

thats great that you have enough insight to be able to interpret things like that. magnificent man, thats part of what trippings all about.


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OfflinegeokillsA
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Re: part 1 of a trip report... [Re: trendal]
    #523563 - 01/17/02 04:25 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

that's those crazy mushies for ya :wink: !

glad to hear you had an eventful trip.


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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics >> The Psychedelic Experience >> Trip Reports

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