Male. Early 20s. Still a student. Sometimes a little nervous about where my life is heading. Lots of other details can be dug up with a search.
I started posting in PA&L soon after I came to the Shroomery, and it's really the only section of the site I visit anymore. This isn't because I love politics, but because I think most of the other forums aren't as good. I never had an interest in politics before I came here. However, I was raised in a somewhat political household, with both my parents being buddhist socialist sorts who still go to protests today (my Mom, given her age, has taken up, albeit in a loose way, with a group called the Raging Grannies). My Dad came from a conservative Catholic NYC area family. My Mom from a politically split family in Oakridge, TN (both my grandparents on that side were involved at a very low level of the Manhattan project, which my Grandmother was dismissed from when her past as a teenage Depression era distributor of socialist fliers was found out). Both my parents, my Mom especially, grew their political views from religious beliefs they had learned at their place of meeting; a Zen temple in upstate NY. I recognized this and because I had no interest in Buddhism at any age, I was sorta suspect of the politics I was raised with. Or at least I was bored with it. That said, there's no real telling how much of an impact it all had on me. I know I considered myself liberal when I came to this board, and nothing's changed to make me think of myself any other way. But I don't really know what liberal means. Now that I've gotten to feel people's reactions to how spread out my actual positions have become, I think I've realized that being a liberal or conservative has almost nothing to do with reality and is just a sort of personal psychological taste, like preferring certain types of clothing. My sister, who's become very political, has different views than me. She likes to only shop at Fair Trade establishments and feels very strongly about communal business. But we recognize that we're still on the same side of the fence, because we both still approach issues in the same fashion. Doesn't really matter which way we decide.
And deciding on political issues has become nearly impossible for me. This board has been successful at making me weigh each one very carefully, cause there's almost always good arguments on either side. A lot of people here are able to passionately argue and justify their views because they have a real ideal, whether it's the Constitution or Buddha or Freedom or Socialism or Jesus Christ or Capitalism or whatever. I'm not one of these people. I don't get to hold on to any of these things because they all just seem like bullshit when applied to what we're all here debating. Being free and loving your brother and having a way exchange the physical manifestation of your family's hard work are all cool things, but unfortunately, to the best I can tell, they all insist on being left in an untouchable and infinite state of purity. And if there's a way to apply a pure standard to even 1 thousand people, let alone 6 billion, I haven't seen a historical example. So I've left myself to fend with less. This is depressing and sometimes makes me worry that I'm heading toward nihilism.
Right now, I put a bit of thought into something Phred brings up from time to time, which is collectivism versus... individualism I guess. I feel like most of my political indecision comes from this and I've gone back and forth on the issue. I feel like both sides are well argued, have good historical representation and are definitely both present in our biology. Hopefully, someone might come along with merger of the two that I can live with. Or maybe I need to throw this in with the bullshit. But either way, I'm can't help thinking that I'll never find a real footing in politics and, if my time in PA&L is any indication, I might get even more confused. The confusion feels really debilitating and sticky. These days, I look at myself as someone who came to this forum 2 years ago asking advise about a splinter, and have since had several major operations performed, leaving me strapped on the table with my guts spilled everywhere. My time here has affected me, and there are times that I'll get emotional in the middle of a thread. This is almost never directed at any of you, but instead a personal frustration with myself for being conflicted over an issue. I have nothing but respect and gratitude for most everyone here.
I feel like PA&L really is a great place. When Iraq heated up, I visited a few other boards, and was pretty disgusted. Just petty bickering and people throwing their respective party's tag lines at each other, with very little originality and nobody willing to change their opinion. Things seem different here. We've got a group where most of us are young, independent and have a strong desire to try on new ideas... Shit I just realized how long this thing has gotten. Alright, that's my piece. Uh, at least some of it is about me. Much love to all PA&L people and especially our esteemed mods and admins. -G
edit: added a few things
-------------------- what's with neocons and the word 'ilk'?
Edited by Gijith (03/26/06 01:06 PM)
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