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Heffy
BrauMeister


Registered: 08/30/04
Posts: 3,262
Loc: International Traveller
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
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I'm ruining my life over this girl who treats me like shit.
#5178734 - 01/13/06 11:25 PM (18 years, 1 month ago) |
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Over the past year I fell deeply in love with this girl. We spent a really amazing 7 months together and then things started to fall apart. She lied to me about some stuff which made it difficult for me to trust her, and I was insanely critical of her all the time. She also started hanging out more and more with these people I really hate, and it has gotten to a point where she spends EVERY day with them.
About two and a half months ago she broke up with me and things began to get even more screwed up. There are many times when I will go to see her(she never comes to see me anymore) and we will either end up having sex or just cuddling on the bed. After whatever contact or intimacy we have, sometimes I spend the night, sometimes I don't. Whenever we are done with whatever we were doing she usually just splits and goes to see her friends that I hate.
She is the most important person in my life, and she is the only one of my close friends who has not come to see me after my curfew since I got arrested on boxing day(she is too busy getting high and drunk).
She NEVER calls me to talk, except when she goes to her dads house(he used to abuse her) in a different country. When she is there she calls me EVERY DAY without fail with all kinds of "poor me" stories about (for instance) her drunk ass stepmom driving home drunk as shit, and running shit over, and then being too hungover the next day to let the family celebrate christmas. I know this stuff is true and that I am the only person she confides in about it, so it is difficult for me not to be sympathetic and attempt to make her feel better. Even if we are not together I have no problem being there for her when she needs me. EXCEPT that she will not under any circumstances repay the favor when I am going through horrible shit(like now).
She says she still loves me and has said several times she would get back together with me if I changed the way I acted towards her. I did so through extensive meditation, self reflection, and some good LSD. All the things I was doing that fucked things up between us, I stopped about a month ago, but she has shown no real interest in patching things up.
She treats me like complete garbage and it's finally getiing to me. This past week I just stopped talking to her because I couldn't deal with being her doormat anymore. I have been so depressed all week I have spent a very large amount of time just wanting to kill myself because I am so upset. Worst of all I don't even think she has really noticed that I have cut off all contact with her.
I don't know what to do with myself. I care about this girl so much more than she cares about herself, but I just can't let her do this to me anymore. I think I should tell her that I don't want to see her or have her call me anymore unless she completely changes her behaviour, but I don't know how I can do it without screaming and cussing at her. I am so upset. I don't even know whether I hate her or love her anymore. I suppose both in a fucked up way.
I hope she comes around eventually, but I can't just be sex and comfort to her anymore. I am so confused I don't even know what I'm asking for here. Maybe I just needed to vent.
-------------------- I am the king of Rome, and above grammar! - Emperor Sigismund
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop


Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Re: I'm ruining my life over this girl who treats me like shit. [Re: Heffy]
#5178762 - 01/13/06 11:36 PM (18 years, 1 month ago) |
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Move on dude...this is easier said than done of course, but....you can NOT let someone walk all over you and treat you like shit. She's not the one for you man, you deserve much better. Someday you'll find someone that that you love just as much, if not more....and she'll treat you right. As hard as it's going to be, putting this girl behind you and moving on is the best thing you can do for yourself. Good luck brother.
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Penguarky Tunguin
f n o r d

Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
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Re: I'm ruining my life over this girl who treats me like shit. [Re: Heffy]
#5178859 - 01/14/06 12:45 AM (18 years, 1 month ago) |
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Gotta move on, bud. Thats all you can do. Your bond with her is ending. Its run its course. You met her for a reason, probably dont know what that reason is just yet, but that's ok, you will. The moment ANYBODY disrespects, they should be gone. Its just not worth the effort to continue putting up with their shit.
A person should never tell you that you have to change to be with them. You should have to recognize it in yourself that you need to change.
Also, never trust what a woman SAYS, always go by what she DOES, her actions never lie.
How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? And how old is she? Its just a curiosity of mine, nothing more.
McKennaDMT
-------------------- Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.
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Brakkie
Myself
Registered: 09/26/05
Posts: 813
Loc: Rotterdam... The City of ...
Last seen: 17 years, 2 months
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Re: I'm ruining my life over this girl who treats me like shit. [Re: Penguarky Tunguin]
#5179198 - 01/14/06 03:37 AM (18 years, 1 month ago) |
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Move on! If someone walks all over you it might be hard to part ways and do your own thing but it's worth it... You are the one that's being used right now...
You'll eventually get fucked up with yourself cause you'll be used and not be able to contact other girls cause you'll be afraid that she'll use you again so prevent this and move on!
-------------------- "This combines the good sides of every other drug with none of the bad. This is the ultimate luxury, the flawless wisdom-pleasure hit. More mellow and cozy than heroin, but you don't nod out. I feel more alive and wired and energetic than with speed, but not jangly. Its got the blast of cocaine, but it lasted ten times longer." "Going to the grave without ever having a psychedelic experience is like going to the grave without ever having sex. That means you will die before even becoming an adolescent." -Terence Mckenna
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Heffy
BrauMeister


Registered: 08/30/04
Posts: 3,262
Loc: International Traveller
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
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Re: I'm ruining my life over this girl who treats me like shit. [Re: Brakkie]
#5179395 - 01/14/06 07:29 AM (18 years, 1 month ago) |
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Both 18, last year of high school. I know I have to move on. I just can't believe how badly she treats me, I'm so hurt and insulted. She really is a nice person, I don't know what the fuck is going on with her.
-------------------- I am the king of Rome, and above grammar! - Emperor Sigismund
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jonathanseagull
Cool!


Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 993
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
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Re: I'm ruining my life over this girl who treats me like shit. [Re: Heffy]
#5179738 - 01/14/06 10:54 AM (18 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Heffy said: We spent a really amazing 7 months together and then things started to fall apart. She lied to me about some stuff which made it difficult for me to trust her, and I was insanely critical of her all the time.
BAM. Exactly how it goes down. This is exactly what happened in my life. I know 100% what you are going through. The thing I had to realize was that we both had certain issues within our own lives, and no matter how much we tried to 'save' each other from each other's problems, it wasn't going to happen. Each person has to save and liberate themselves. And for both of you to hit that point at the exact same time in your lives is a very slim chance. You sound ready to make the changes in your life that you need to mature as a person and spiritually. You sound as if you are becoming more aware of things. And as someone said above, nothing happens by chance. "God works in mysterious ways". Maybe this relationship is what you needed to kick start your climb into a more deep and aware existence.
Or maybe I"m really projecting my situation onto yours. But that is what I went through. ahahah, I apologize, I'm dosed Maybe I said something that can help though. I hope.
Quote:
McKennaDMT said:
Also, never trust what a woman SAYS, always go by what she DOES, her actions never lie.
TRUTH. A lot of women can't get their words and actions to coincide. I think it ultimately has to do with bad self image, and in trying to lie to themselves and in order to keep that lie and make it real, of course they have to start lying to other people. Then they end up getting caught in this big web of lies. But the intention isn't always bad. Sometimes they are only yearning for a better life. Sometimes they are being hateful coniving plotting byatches. Only you can tell which is which with this girl, but you'll have to be completely honest with yourself, which is sometimes the hardest part.
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Loving in truth, and fain in verse my love to show, That the dear She might take some pleasure of my pain: Pleasure might cause her read, reading might make her know, Knowledge might pity win, and pity grace obtain.
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Newbie
User of semicolons.


Registered: 07/18/04
Posts: 24,711
Loc: SoCal
Last seen: 11 hours, 43 minutes
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Re: I'm ruining my life over this girl who treats me like shit. [Re: jonathanseagull]
#5179768 - 01/14/06 11:08 AM (18 years, 1 month ago) |
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I was in a relationship similar to yours and she ended up walking out on me. I seriously thought I lost everything I lived for but a few years later I found somebody with so much more to offer and I couldn't be happier. Trust me you'll be kicking yourself in the ass if you don't give her an ultimatum.
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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides

Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1
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Re: I'm ruining my life over this girl who treats me like shit. [Re: Heffy]
#5182082 - 01/15/06 12:01 AM (18 years, 1 month ago) |
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She'd probably treat you like shit even if you "changed". As the others have said, it's time to look for greener pastures.
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eligal
Noobie


Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
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Re: I'm ruining my life over this girl who treats me like shit. [Re: Le_Canard]
#5182734 - 01/15/06 09:06 AM (18 years, 1 month ago) |
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move on!
its been said like 7 times already but what the hell, ill add some back up to it
-------------------- \m/ Spanksta \m/ "do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?" "MolokoMilkPlus said: I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job" "tactik said: respect the can."
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eligal
Noobie


Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
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Re: I'm ruining my life over this girl who treats me like shit. [Re: eligal]
#5182737 - 01/15/06 09:08 AM (18 years, 1 month ago) |
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ps, you even titled this thread "I'm ruining my life over this girl who treats me like shit".
its your life, you only get one go at it (atleast i dont remember any previous attempts). so move on and live your life.
-------------------- \m/ Spanksta \m/ "do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?" "MolokoMilkPlus said: I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job" "tactik said: respect the can."
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