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dblaney
Human Being
Registered: 10/03/04
Posts: 7,894
Loc: Here & Now
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Churchill was really a carrot
#5142194 - 01/05/06 04:58 AM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Here's the proof:
First let a and b both equal 1. Since this is true,
B^2=ab
and obviously
a^2=a^2
subtract equation 1 from equation two, and you get:
a^2-b^2=a^2-ab
we can then factor both sides of the equation.
(a+b)(a-b)=a(a-b)
Now we can divide out (a-b)
a+b=a
Now we simply subtract a from both sides.
b=0
But since b=1 then 1=0!
We know that Winston Churchill has one head. But one equals zero by equation 7 (1=0), so that means Winston has no head. Likewise, Chuchill has zero leafy tops, therefore he has one leafy top. Multplying both sides of equation 7 by 2, we see that
2=0
Churchill has two legs, therefore he has no legs. Chuchill has two arms, therefore he has no arms. Now multiplying equation 7 by Winston Churchill's waist size in inches. this means that
(Winston's waist size)=0
This means that Winston Churchill tapers to a point. Now, what color is Winston Churchill? Take any beam of light that comes from him and select a photon. Multiply equation 7 by the wavelength and we see that
(Winston's photon's wavelength)=0
But multiplying equation 7 by 640 nanometers, we see that
640=0
Combining [the last two equations], we see that
(Winston's photon's wavelength)=640 nanometers
This means that this photon-or any other photon that comes from Mr. Churchill-is orange. Therefore Winston Churchill is a bright shade of orange.
To sum up, we have proved, mathematically that Winston Churchill has no arms and no legs; instead of a head, he has a leafy top; he tapers to a point; and he is bright orange. Clearly, Winston Churchill is a carrot.
-------------------- "What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?" "Belief is a beautiful armor But makes for the heaviest sword" - John Mayer Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin. "This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln
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RESTLESS
C.M.L.W.
Registered: 06/21/05
Posts: 21,817
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Re: Churchill was really a carrot [Re: dblaney]
#5142196 - 01/05/06 04:59 AM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Who's Churchill?
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cubeladd
Stranger
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Loc: Sunny ol' England
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Re: Churchill was really a carrot [Re: RESTLESS]
#5142224 - 01/05/06 06:02 AM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
RESTLESS said: Who's Churchill?
I don't understand anything that dbalney said cuz I'm useless with mathematics but I can tell you that Winston Churchill was the UK Prime Minister during world war 2.
-------------------- "The only thing I'm high on is Love for my Son and Daughters. Yes, a little LSD is all I need." -Marge Simpson
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Konnrade
↑↑↓↓<--><-->BA
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Re: Churchill was really a carrot [Re: cubeladd]
#5142613 - 01/05/06 10:10 AM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
cubeladd said:
Quote:
RESTLESS said: Who's Churchill?
I don't understand anything that dbalney said cuz I'm useless with mathematics but I can tell you that Winston Churchill was the UK Prime Minister during world war 2.
He's also considered by many to be one of the best leaders in human history
-------------------- I find your lack of faith disturbing
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Yarry
Old Timer
Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 23,762
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Re: Churchill was really a carrot [Re: Konnrade]
#5142618 - 01/05/06 10:13 AM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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also a carrot
-------------------- Grumpy Old Man.
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OneMoreRobot3021
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,026
Loc: the sky
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Re: Churchill was really a carrot [Re: dblaney]
#5142620 - 01/05/06 10:13 AM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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BRILLIANT
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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Konnrade
↑↑↓↓<--><-->BA
Registered: 09/13/05
Posts: 13,833
Loc: LA Suburbs
Last seen: 11 months, 12 days
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Re: Churchill was really a carrot [Re: Yarry]
#5142644 - 01/05/06 10:20 AM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Yarry said: also a carrot
Yes, very much so.
Good show, Dblaney, good show.
-------------------- I find your lack of faith disturbing
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WhiskeyClone
Not here
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Posts: 16,509
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Canada ...
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Re: Churchill was really a carrot [Re: dblaney]
#5142896 - 01/05/06 11:43 AM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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When you divide out (a-b) you are dividing by zero.
Fucked up things happen when you divide by zero. Equations don't make sense, time flows backwards, public figures turn into root vegetables.
-------------------- Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it. ~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
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dblaney
Human Being
Registered: 10/03/04
Posts: 7,894
Loc: Here & Now
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Re: Churchill was really a carrot [Re: WhiskeyClone]
#5142981 - 01/05/06 12:15 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Yeah, there are a few other funny proofs like that. It's from the book Zero, I believe.
-------------------- "What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?" "Belief is a beautiful armor But makes for the heaviest sword" - John Mayer Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin. "This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln
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