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Offlineeris
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Accused of stealing gun and money
    #5118539 - 12/29/05 10:54 AM (18 years, 1 month ago)

This week I am staying with my mother to visit.
Everything seemed to be going well until she comes out of nowhere and claims that her gun is missing, and that she put it in a certain place and now checked that place and it wasn't there, or anywhere else.
I know for a fact that I did not take it of course, and I doubt that anyone else did either. She tends to misplace things and think that I took them. This makes me extremely angry because my mother is so difficult to argue with. She is one of those who thinks she is always right, and will have an answer to everything i say in my defense or just plain discredit it. She creates these wild schemes in her head and believes them more than she believes me. The woman plain does not trust me at all.
I tried not to let myself get upset buy the accusation and went back to trying to have a good time.
Yesterday, she left the house to go shopping and came back in a bitter, angry mood, slamming stuff and breaking things.
I walked up to her and calmly said "what's wrong mom"? She said that her bank account was empty.
She then began to accuse me of stealing her credit or debit card and said that she was 100% sure that I did it and that she has online bank account statements to prove it.
Now I sat and argued with her for hours and ended up getting so enraged that I almost attacked her. I actually felt like killing her. She was being so mean and evil to both myself and my poor girlfriend who also shared the blame...
I don't know WTF I should do. I tried talking to my mother reasonably, I tried arguments.. nothing seems to work.
I did not take either of the items that she swears that I did.
Is there any way to prove that I am innocent? Is there anything that I can do to calm my mother down? What should I say to her?
I just don't know what to do and I need to get this off of my chest.
It is the worst feeling to have someone think that you did something as serious as that, and they won't beleive you, or even hear your defense.


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OfflineGillette
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Re: Accused of stealing gun and money [Re: eris]
    #5118562 - 12/29/05 11:02 AM (18 years, 1 month ago)

Tell her that if she's serious that the gun is missing and someone stole her debit and credit cards that you'll call the cops and her credit card company and bank to report it stolen, because it wasn't you.


--------------------
~Earth is the Insane Asylum of the Universe~

A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.


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Offlineeris
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Re: Accused of stealing gun and money [Re: eris]
    #5118573 - 12/29/05 11:06 AM (18 years, 1 month ago)

Also, my mom has been pretty much the only family that I have had throughout my life. She raised me by herself and I was an only child. Parents divorced when I was 3, and we moved halfway across the country from any family. She has always done her best in raising me and been a good mother.
She has her fair share of mental problems though. Right now she is taking lexapro, welbutrin, and klonopin. She's pretty much always been on some various medicine throughout the years.
This is the reason that it hurts so much.. she is all of the family that I have.. I don't know if she is losing her mind or what.


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Offlineeris
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Re: Accused of stealing gun and money [Re: Gillette]
    #5118581 - 12/29/05 11:09 AM (18 years, 1 month ago)

I should consider doing that, and might eventually do so if this isn't straightened out. The only thing is, I think she has misplaced it, cause she is scatterbrained.
I believe that she has the credit cards in her possession, but if it was a debit card, how would anyone know the pin number to get the money out? She claims that I know the pin because she has had me go get money out for her before.


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InvisibleZippoZM
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Re: Accused of stealing gun and money [Re: eris]
    #5118620 - 12/29/05 11:25 AM (18 years, 1 month ago)

thats a tough situation man. Can i ask you what other rough spots your mother and you have been over in the past? usually with my Mom she gets pissed about one thing and complains about somthing else.

and deranged moms, puls guns, not a good thing.


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PEACE

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"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: Accused of stealing gun and money [Re: eris]
    #5118636 - 12/29/05 11:30 AM (18 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Klonopin side effects

Side effects cannot be anticipated. If any develop or change in intensity, inform your doctor as soon as possible. Only your doctor can determine if it is safe for you to continue taking Klonopin.

Side effects in seizure disorders may include:
Behavior problems, drowsiness, lack of muscular coordination


Side effects in panic disorder may include:

Allergic reaction, constipation, coordination problems, depression, dizziness, fatigue, inflamed sinuses or nasal passages, flu, memory problems, menstrual problems, nervousness, reduced thinking ability, respiratory infection, sleepiness, speech problems, vaginal inflammation.

Klonopin can also cause aggressive behavior, agitation, anxiety, excitability, hostility, irritability, nervousness, nightmares, sleep disturbances, and vivid dreams.





Quote:

Wellbutrin side effects

Side effects cannot be anticipated. If any develop or change in intensity, inform your doctor as soon as possible. Only your doctor can determine if it is safe for you to continue taking Wellbutrin.

Side effects of Wellbutrin may include:
Agitation, constipation, dizziness, dry mouth, excessive sweating, headache, nausea, vomiting, skin rash, sleep disturbances, tremor.

Side effects of Wellbutrin SR may include:
Agitation, constipation, dizziness, dry mouth, insomnia, nausea, rash, sweating, weight loss.

Side effects of Wellbutrin XL may include:
Abdominal pain, agitation, anxiety, constipation, diarrhea, dizziness, dry mouth, heart palpitations, increased urination, insomnia, muscle soreness, nausea, rash, ringing in the ears, sore throat, sweating.





As you can see from the above, many of the behaviors your mother is engaging in may be side-effects of the medications she is taking.

I assume from her prescriptions that she has problems with anxiety/panic and depression.  Though she may be experiencing relief from those disorders, it seems that the side-effects may be just as debilitating.  Perhaps she could talk to her doctor about trying alternative medications?

In the meantime, cut her some slack & realize that her behavior, while directed at you, is neither rational nor personal.

She can contact her bank & compare her ATM and debit receipts with the charges on her print out, then dispute any charges which do not appear on her receipts.  Her bank will assist her by investigating the charges, and should suspend the potentially fraudulent charges while the investigation proceeds.  If they find that she authorized all the charges, then they will re-apply the debits to her account.

As to the gun, I would conduct a thorough search of the house.  If it cannot be located, report the theft to the police.  It is not a good idea to let that one slide for too long.

Sorry to hear that your holidays were so difficult.  :frown:


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OfflineMadtowntripper
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Re: Accused of stealing gun and money [Re: Veritas]
    #5118661 - 12/29/05 11:38 AM (18 years, 1 month ago)

it seems this could all be cleared up by a call to the bank to see if the money was in fact removede, and if so, when/where/by whom.


--------------------
After one comes, through contact with it's administrators, no longer to cherish greatly the law as a remedy in abuses, then the bottle becomes a sovereign means of direct action.  If you cannot throw it at least you can always drink out of it.  - Ernest Hemingway

If it is life that you feel you are missing I can tell you where to find it.  In the law courts, in business, in government.  There is nothing occurring in the streets. Nothing but a dumbshow composed of the helpless and the impotent.    -Cormac MacCarthy

He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.  - Aeschylus


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Offlineeris
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Re: Accused of stealing gun and money [Re: ZippoZ]
    #5118692 - 12/29/05 11:52 AM (18 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Can i ask you what other rough spots your mother and you have been over in the past?




We have had many issues in the past. Some of them were over the same sort of issue - her not trusting me. When I was much younger, we got along great.. she was like my best friend. I also felt like I could tell her anything or talk to her about anything. Around the ages of 18-20, things got a little shaky between us. I began using hard drugs frequently and became addicted to heron and cocaine.. she really lost her trust in me then but still offered help and support. There were times that I have taken money from her in the past, to fuel my addictions, but I never directly stole it. I would ask for money because I needed to get something or go do something, and would spend that to get my fix.. So I can understand her not totally trusting me... but I have changed my ways, and thought i earned her trust back by now. I suppose it is my fault for doing wrong in the past. But at the same time, everyone deserves forgiveness. I've worked hard to change my ways, and her doing this makes me want to go out and get f'ed up on something to get my mind off of it.
It really hurts me, I can't stop thinking about what she said and in the mean manor in which she said it.


Thanks for pulling that info Veritas.
You are correct. She does take the medicine for anxiety and manic depression.
Personally when I take klonopin, I notice an extreme increase in anger.. I don't quite feel like myself. Also I tend to misplace things often when on klonopin... Perhaps this is what happened to her in the case of the gun - I hope.
Another thing that makes it harder for me to argue with her is the fact that she has a degree in accounting. She even used to work for a bank, do audits and tax returns, so if anyone should know where the money went it should be her.
I worked in an accounting firm for 3 years (even though i don't have any college education on accounting) and I am pretty damn good at it.
I used to perform pretty much all general accounting functions. I feel like sitting down with her and doing a double audit (me and her both), but she is to angry with me right now.

Quote:


it seems this could all be cleared up by a call to the bank to see if the money was in fact removede, and if so, when/where/by whom.




I plan on checking into this some time today, when I can talk to her without being screamed at.


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Accused of stealing gun and money [Re: eris]
    #5118722 - 12/29/05 12:07 PM (18 years, 1 month ago)

Leave that crazy person in your past. One does not need "parents" after you are out on your own. The opposite is true mostly.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


Edited by Icelander (12/29/05 12:08 PM)


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Offlineeris
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Re: Accused of stealing gun and money [Re: Icelander]
    #5118928 - 12/29/05 01:15 PM (18 years, 1 month ago)

Ha, well the matter of the gun is solved, which makes me feel somewhat better.. she found it just as I suspected. Now it's just a matter of proving that I did not run up purchases on her credit/debit cards.
She says that they were "arranged differently than she left them".
Pretty lame I would say. She is too damn paranoid, even with the medicine she takes.. she needs to go to the doctor to have her meds evaluated.


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Offlineeris
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Re: Accused of stealing gun and money [Re: eris]
    #5118943 - 12/29/05 01:19 PM (18 years, 1 month ago)

I deserve more credit than I get.. I mean I explained to her the serious implications of selling, trading or using a gun under someone else's name.. She must think I am desperate or just plain stupid.


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OfflineMadtowntripper
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Re: Accused of stealing gun and money [Re: eris]
    #5119451 - 12/29/05 03:50 PM (18 years, 1 month ago)

Did she apologize for claiming you stole it?

Does she realize how irrational she was? It seems that this would be an important question to see if she does in fact need some serious help.


--------------------
After one comes, through contact with it's administrators, no longer to cherish greatly the law as a remedy in abuses, then the bottle becomes a sovereign means of direct action.  If you cannot throw it at least you can always drink out of it.  - Ernest Hemingway

If it is life that you feel you are missing I can tell you where to find it.  In the law courts, in business, in government.  There is nothing occurring in the streets. Nothing but a dumbshow composed of the helpless and the impotent.    -Cormac MacCarthy

He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.  - Aeschylus


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InvisibleYidakiMan
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Re: Accused of stealing gun and money [Re: eris]
    #5119767 - 12/29/05 05:37 PM (18 years, 1 month ago)

My girlfriends cousin has a boyfriend/baby's daddy like this. The only thing that worked on him was an intervention and walking out.


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Offlineeris
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Re: Accused of stealing gun and money [Re: Madtowntripper]
    #5122628 - 12/30/05 01:27 PM (18 years, 1 month ago)

She did apologize kind of after I asked her to. She never likes to admit that she is wrong... she's one of those perfectionist types who always thinks they are right.
I asked about the credit transactions again today, she said she still didn't figure out how they got there but she seemed less suspicious of me though since she made a fool of herself over the gun. She still seems to have no regret about accusing though, which seems unfair.


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