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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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While I agree that it is probably impossible to convey the fine details of ourselves to others, I don't think you need that for an intimate relationship. A willingness to do ones best to describe feelings and sharing thoughts and concerns along with pleasures will insure a good friendship. We know when we are witholding important informations to make ourselves look good or to protect ourselves. A trust and willingness to risk the truth is the requirement for any couple who really want to get it on. From my experience it isn't easy and takes courage. But the rewards are real.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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it stars saddam
Satan
Registered: 05/19/05
Posts: 15,571
Loc: Spahn Ranch
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Right on.
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Jaimie
Stranger
Registered: 08/14/05
Posts: 87
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 1 day
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I don't really have much personal experience with this. I've never had sex with someone I shared a strong connection with, despite what I thought at the time. I look forward to it, but for the time being I'm really struggling with certain things...like connection versus attachment. I've always felt a certain attachment with love and lately everything I see and read and hear attacks attachment. Now I'm confused and scared.
Is feeling attached unhealthy, impure, shallow, something else?
-------------------- Sitting in the silent twilight rapture Could it be too hard to capture This velvet moment of serenity
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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Re: SEX [Re: Jaimie]
#5117267 - 12/28/05 11:04 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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When you depend on another person or material object for your happiness it is attachment. Humans should be independant, not dependant. Happiness comes from within the self...not from another person or thing. So two humans who are not attached by codependancy can share their mutual happiness together. Hanging your happiness on the day to day presence of another human (or any material thing) is unhealthy because people and objects change. Nothing is ever for sure. Two independantly happy people have a much better chance of finding happiness together. That is the deal on attachment...it is a quick road to unhappiness and misery.
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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kotik
fuckingsuperhero
Registered: 06/29/04
Posts: 3,531
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Quote:
Is feeling attached unhealthy, impure, shallow, something else?
its human to feel attached. in fact, plenty of other animals get attached too.
i dont understand what any of this has to do with sex. sex isn't really even that intimate to me. I feel perfectly fine having friends that i keep around to talk to, and friends i keep around for sex. its rare that ill come across a girl that can do both, but even then.. its really just a friend that i like to talk to, and fuck.
the whole attachment thing is really a waste of energy. then again, things change...
-------------------- No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.
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Diploid
Cuban
Registered: 01/09/03
Posts: 19,274
Loc: Rabbit Hole
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I have heard it was the religious folk who gave it the bad rap because it treatened their control
I think the religious origins of sex guilt comes not so much out of wanting to control the population as out of a feeling that worshiping $DIETY is paramount, and anything pleasurable is next to sin for its distraction from $DIETY.
This is why the very first drug prohibition laws came about at the hands of the church, and religious underpinnings are at the heart of prohibition laws today.
There are counties in Florid not far from me that are dry on Sundays. Presumably, this is because one should attend church on Sundays instead of partying.
Extend this aversion to pleasure in deference to $DIETY, and you get frowning upon sex, perhaps the ultimate pleasure.
-------------------- Republican Values: 1) You can't get married to your spouse who is the same sex as you. 2) You can't have an abortion no matter how much you don't want a child. 3) You can't have a certain plant in your possession or you'll get locked up with a rapist and a murderer. 4) We need a smaller, less-intrusive government.
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Veritas
Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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Re: SEX [Re: Diploid]
#5118397 - 12/29/05 10:08 AM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Or perhaps the religious leaders could see that the sexually-free pagans did not need a "middle man" to put them in touch with divinity.
Their natural connection to the earth, their sensuality & sexuality allowed them to experience a "higher power" within themselves, and thus there was no market for church-based religion.
Just like anyone with a product, the leaders chose a course which created a demand.
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mr_kite
The Watcher
Registered: 09/16/02
Posts: 2,577
Loc: shambhala
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
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Quote:
Huehuecoyotl said: I like sex.
Yeah it is good.
-------------------- let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love
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MushmanTheManic
Stranger
Registered: 04/21/05
Posts: 4,587
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Silversoul
Rhizome
Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
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There is nothing wrong with sex in and of itself. But I think the pursuit of sex(as well as money, power, etc.) tends to corrupt people. It is not immoral unto itself, but it can be a catalyst for immorality, and often lead to an imbalanced life.
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Peyote_Princess
dreamer
Registered: 03/16/06
Posts: 92
Loc: My own Island...
Last seen: 17 years, 10 months
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Quote:
Paradigm said: There is nothing wrong with sex in and of itself. But I think the pursuit of sex(as well as money, power, etc.) tends to corrupt people. It is not immoral unto itself, but it can be a catalyst for immorality, and often lead to an imbalanced life.
But without the pursuit of sex, there is no sex.... there is no reproduction and there is no continuation of humanity.
It's a natural thing; you don't see animals agonising over whether its okay or not - they do it, because they know that they have to do it.
From a personal perspective, I feel that a person can do as they will, but shouldn't harm anyone else in the process of doing that. Perhaps one ought to consider their reasons for searching for and having sex - if its just the physical act, then does it really serve a purpose - then all you're doing is using the person to make you orgasm which to be honest isn't difficult to do by yourself...
Sex, should be the expression of something close, something special and intimate between people - you're sharing in something special and it should be treated as such. Rejoice in the fact we gain pleasure out of it, but that's tied in with giving pleasure too. We, and dolphins, are the only animals capable of "making love" for the enjoyment of it... I think there's definitely something special about sex - and it goes beyond the technique, the 'how many times', the number of orgasms - all that stuff.... its about sharing a moment, and in that moment joining with another soul...
Peyote_Princess xXx
-------------------- "Was I talking? ... Did they hear me?"
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fresh313
journeyman
Registered: 09/01/03
Posts: 2,537
Last seen: 12 years, 11 months
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dolphins
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Sinbad
Living TheMoment
Registered: 12/23/04
Posts: 2,571
Loc: Under The Bodhi Tree
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We have enough people in this world, without exasperating the problem. Fortunatly some human beings have intelligence as well as contraception. Why dont we try loving the people who are already alive, rather than pegging our hopes on a next generation that will be handed a world of increasing degredation, thanks to our mindless and destructive actions toward our own mother planet.
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moog
Stranger
Registered: 02/15/05
Posts: 1,296
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I think sex is weird, and i don't understand what people get out of it (besides offspring). But if you enjoy it, then more power to you.
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MystikMushroom
I RULE YOU!
Registered: 10/11/04
Posts: 400
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Re: SEX [Re: moog]
#5416201 - 03/18/06 03:10 PM (18 years, 14 days ago) |
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All I know about SEX is that I don't get enough.
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MushmanTheManic
Stranger
Registered: 04/21/05
Posts: 4,587
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I hear ya bro.
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fresh313
journeyman
Registered: 09/01/03
Posts: 2,537
Last seen: 12 years, 11 months
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Re: SEX [Re: moog]
#5416491 - 03/18/06 04:35 PM (18 years, 14 days ago) |
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Quote:
moog said: I think sex is weird, and i don't understand what people get out of it (besides offspring). But if you enjoy it, then more power to you.
you need to find yourself a sexy freeky girl and get down.
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Cherk
Fashionable
Registered: 10/25/02
Posts: 46,493
Loc: International
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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Re: SEX [Re: Sinbad]
#5417480 - 03/18/06 10:42 PM (18 years, 14 days ago) |
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Quote:
Sinbad said: We have enough people in this world, without exasperating the problem. Fortunatly some human beings have intelligence as well as contraception. Why dont we try loving the people who are already alive, rather than pegging our hopes on a next generation that will be handed a world of increasing degredation, thanks to our mindless and destructive actions toward our own mother planet.
We are the problem. When death rate exceed birth rate the world improves(appeased is a better word)?
Loving people who are already alive leads to children because of love. Look into a young childs eye and tell me you don't want to be a part of that.
--------------------
I have considered such matters. SIKE
Edited by Smoker For Peace (03/18/06 10:46 PM)
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Peyote_Princess
dreamer
Registered: 03/16/06
Posts: 92
Loc: My own Island...
Last seen: 17 years, 10 months
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Re: SEX [Re: Cherk]
#5419212 - 03/19/06 03:55 PM (18 years, 13 days ago) |
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Quote:
Smoker For Peace said:
Quote:
Sinbad said: We have enough people in this world, without exasperating the problem. Fortunatly some human beings have intelligence as well as contraception. Why dont we try loving the people who are already alive, rather than pegging our hopes on a next generation that will be handed a world of increasing degredation, thanks to our mindless and destructive actions toward our own mother planet.
We are the problem. When death rate exceed birth rate the world improves(appeased is a better word)?
Loving people who are already alive leads to children because of love. Look into a young childs eye and tell me you don't want to be a part of that.
Children hae the most beautiful eyes; I just get to thinking how wonderful it would be to see everything for the fist time - perhaps that is why we experiment with psychadelics, because we didn't appreciate it the first time?
But sex doesn't have to lead to reproduction for it to be worthwhile; even the Roman Catholic Church has accepted in a document last year about sex being an act drawing the couple closer together (though they still retain te reproduction must be a possibility type clause)
As for people that don't enjoy sex; it's not a technique - its about the situation and the partner - the best sex is making love (man!)
And for those not getting enough - hugs... I wish you pretty partners soon!
Peyote_Princess xXx
-------------------- "Was I talking? ... Did they hear me?"
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Cherk
Fashionable
Registered: 10/25/02
Posts: 46,493
Loc: International
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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Quote:
Peyote_Princess said:
But sex doesn't have to lead to reproduction for it to be worthwhile
true
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I have considered such matters. SIKE
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