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 Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
 
Registered: 06/14/04
Posts: 10,637
Loc: On the Border
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 Intensity 
#5077895 - 12/18/05 01:53 PM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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My life has been consumed with intense experiences that I have consciously or unconsciously sought out. I often refer to something that is intense in nature as "fun". I would not take unreasonable risks with my life...I'm not stupid, but I have come to realize that many of the things I call "fun" other people I know would call "nightmare". I have had several uncomfortable LSD and ayahuasca experiences that could be classed as "bad trip" due to improper set and setting or mindset, but in hindsight I cherish those experiences as powerful opportunities for learning. I have enjoyed sky diving...which is very frightening, as well. For many years I worked in emergency services like firefighting, EMS, and hazardous waste response. In an emergency when things get really tense I tend to enjoy it. I handle myself well in high pressure situations and have dealt with several life and death situation...two of which ended in death for someone (not due to my actions as I was rendering assistance in an emergency) but I can honestly say in retrospect that I enjoyed it.
There is a down side to this as well. I rarely exhibit emotions, but when I do I have strong, though not inappropriate or violent, emotional reactions. I also have noticed that I often precipitate minor personal crises through negligence or procrastination. In the end I like dealing with the crisis...the intensity of the situation drives me. My wife says that I am a stressful person to be around because I act like I am driven in everything that I do. Intense experiences seem to be the axis that my life revolves around. This has also colored my spiritual outlook very deeply. I have often had ecstatic religious experiences that I lost myself in totally. My comfort zone is pretty far out, but these experiences exceeded it. Does anybody else feel this way? What is the deal on this?
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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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I can say that I share some of your feelings and experience but not all. In the ecstatic realm I fully concur.
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"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.
" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.
With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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psyka
Praetorian
Registered: 06/09/03
Posts: 1,652
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Whats wrong with not always exhibiting emotions?
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As the life of a candle,
my wick will burn out.
But, the fire of my mind
shall beam into infinite.
 
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/14/04
Posts: 10,637
Loc: On the Border
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Re: Intensity [Re: psyka]
#5077928 - 12/18/05 02:04 PM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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I did not say there was. I tend to look down on people who like uncalled for emotional drama... What I was calling the down side is that my emotions are very strong and binary in nature...though not totally innapropriate.
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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
Edited by Huehuecoyotl (12/18/05 02:13 PM)
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