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Shop: Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   Amazon Ayahuasca

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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
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Registered: 06/14/04
Posts: 10,637
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Intensity
    #5077895 - 12/18/05 01:53 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

My life has been consumed with intense experiences that I have consciously or unconsciously sought out. I often refer to something that is intense in nature as "fun". I would not take unreasonable risks with my life...I'm not stupid, but I have come to realize that many of the things I call "fun" other people I know would call "nightmare". I have had several uncomfortable LSD and ayahuasca experiences that could be classed as "bad trip" due to improper set and setting or mindset, but in hindsight I cherish those experiences as powerful opportunities for learning. I have enjoyed sky diving...which is very frightening, as well. For many years I worked in emergency services like firefighting, EMS, and hazardous waste response. In an emergency when things get really tense I tend to enjoy it. I handle myself well in high pressure situations and have dealt with several life and death situation...two of which ended in death for someone (not due to my actions as I was rendering assistance in an emergency) but I can honestly say in retrospect that I enjoyed it.

There is a down side to this as well. I rarely exhibit emotions, but when I do I have strong, though not inappropriate or violent, emotional reactions. I also have noticed that I often precipitate minor personal crises through negligence or procrastination. In the end I like dealing with the crisis...the intensity of the situation drives me. My wife says that I am a stressful person to be around because I act like I am driven in everything that I do. Intense experiences seem to be the axis that my life revolves around. This has also colored my spiritual outlook very deeply. I have often had ecstatic religious experiences that I lost myself in totally. My comfort zone is pretty far out, but these experiences exceeded it. Does anybody else feel this way? What is the deal on this?


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Intensity [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #5077908 - 12/18/05 01:57 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

I can say that I share some of your feelings and experience but not all. In the ecstatic realm I fully concur.


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"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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Invisiblepsyka
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Re: Intensity [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #5077919 - 12/18/05 02:02 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

Whats wrong with not always exhibiting emotions?


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As the life of a candle,
my wick will burn out.
But, the fire of my mind
shall beam into infinite.



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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
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Re: Intensity [Re: psyka]
    #5077928 - 12/18/05 02:04 PM (15 years, 2 months ago)

I did not say there was. I tend to look down on people who like uncalled for emotional drama... What I was calling the down side is that my emotions are very strong and binary in nature...though not totally innapropriate.


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


Edited by Huehuecoyotl (12/18/05 02:13 PM)


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