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 whatthehell
Stranger
Registered: 01/01/02
Posts: 2
Last seen: 21 years, 11 months
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 What did i do to myself? 
#506487 - 01/01/02 11:05 AM (21 years, 11 months ago) |
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Hello guys,
Some of you guys on here appear to be pretty knowledgable about brain chemistry and I would appreciate it if any of you could help me out here. About 3 weeks ago I tripped for the first time. I don't think it was too intense at first. I could close my eyes and see colors and later lines actually appeared in the sky. Well anyway after about an hour or two of this I just completely crashed. I've never been majorly depressed in my life, but all of a sudden I felt so horrible and empty that I asked myself why am I even alive. I was pretty solidly depressed for the rest of the night. For a week afterwards I went through some pretty violent bouts of depression. For the last two weeks I've just felt sort of melancholy and loss of interest in life. If any of you could provide some information it'd be great.
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skaMariaPastora
Utopiate
Registered: 03/14/01
Posts: 443
Loc: MA
Last seen: 20 years, 9 months
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 Re: What did i do to myself? [Re: whatthehell]
#506492 - 01/01/02 11:16 AM (21 years, 11 months ago) |
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I've had a similar post-trip depression thing a few months ago and it passed in a couple weeks. I can assure you that any depression you're feeling is psychological and nothing is chemically wrong with your brain. It sounds like you had kind of a bad trip, and the psychological damage can certainly be felt for weeks afterward. I would try to learn from your experience and know that your depression won't last forever.
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whatthehell
Stranger
Registered: 01/01/02
Posts: 2
Last seen: 21 years, 11 months
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I think you're right that the there won't be any chemical damage. I guess what I'm most worried about is the psychological damage. I guess I just feel like I saw this whole horrible state of mind that I didn't even know existed previously and I'm really having trouble coping with that right now.
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gnrm23
Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 08/29/99
Posts: 6,488
Loc: n. e. OH, USSA
Last seen: 2 months, 5 days
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Re: What did i do to myself? [Re: whatthehell]
#506791 - 01/01/02 04:19 PM (21 years, 11 months ago) |
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have you read alan watts' _the joyous cosmology_
or
huxley's _island_
???
the horror-space...meaninglessness... robotmind... chapel perilous.. whatever... is part of the real, but most definintely not all of the real...
be well..
--------------------
old enough to know better
not old enough to care
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Monkah
abreactionsynchronicity
Registered: 08/26/01
Posts: 179
Loc: location? i exist somwher...
Last seen: 18 years, 7 months
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 Re: What did i do to myself? [Re: whatthehell]
#506809 - 01/01/02 04:36 PM (21 years, 11 months ago) |
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when i first got into lsd i would have extremly bad depression for long periods of time.
now... i find that all i was depressed about.. is worthless and not even worth the depression to think about.
i feel as though.. back then.. my soul was rejecting things.
its hard to cope with coming out of an ego
its extremly painfull to someone not use to it.
and can be extremly depressing having things taken away from you.
you'll soon return back to normal. theres no reason why you wouldnt.. unless you yourself keept yourself in this state of mind.
heres something i wrote.. might be of interest.
___________________________________
in your mind you choose what to do
in mine i choose to look at
a blank pallete and be content
its a peacefull reflection of
how calm we can be.
reverberating and constantly remind the next seconds
into an infinite space.
good + bad = confliction
confliction = a reverberation into niether = birth
birth = a new concious apon another concious
= infinite
conjunction with others a feeling of well being.
concious's all reminded each to thier own the one task at hand.
to please one another.
the reverberation of an infinite.. simplistic... grin =)
-monkahh
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*NEW!* from Monkah Inc.The "Silence game" hold an exhilerating game between you and a friend,see who finds silence first! (warning:M. Inc. patented silence-in-its-self,failure to pay up will result in sending satan after you! err,we mean our laywer!)
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Learyfan
It's the psychedelic movement!
 
Registered: 04/20/01
Posts: 34,007
Loc: High pride!
Last seen: 8 hours, 37 minutes
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Re: What did i do to myself? [Re: whatthehell]
#507485 - 01/02/02 08:56 AM (21 years, 11 months ago) |
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Did you smoke weed?
That always helps to ease you back into regular reality.
It's ok dude.
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--------------------------------
Mp3 of the month: The Assortment - Bless Our Hippy Home
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 mecreateme
YoUisMEEMsiUoY
Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 2,727
Loc: Memphrica
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 Re: What did i do to myself? [Re: whatthehell]
#2755019 - 06/01/04 10:18 PM (19 years, 6 months ago) |
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If you choose to label your condition depression then you will be depressed. If you choose to label it something else, then you can go with that flow. Plus it is not uncommon for a bad trip to result in weeks or even months of depression. Do not despair though, you will come out of it. I have read books like Gaskin's amazing dope tales that say that when hippies encountered a new reality tunnel and inadvertently were reborn into it via psychedelics that they would just trip again to get a new reality. I however do not condone tripping again in your case, just hang in there. I know it can seem hard, but you will always make it out of the situation.
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solidox
sir
Registered: 07/25/02
Posts: 54
Loc: Romania
Last seen: 9 years, 12 days
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Re: What did i do to myself? [Re: whatthehell]
#2759240 - 06/02/04 11:57 PM (19 years, 6 months ago) |
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I've always considered mushrooms as an important experience, it's not JUST fun. Whatever you come out of the trip feeling is coming out of YOU. And you need to sort it out. It's not nothing. Mushrooms have a tendency to reach deep down inside and bring up whatever they find there, good or bad, espechally on high doses. Of course, in time, your sober/conscious mind will cover it up, but my advice is, DON'T LET IT. It will still be there, and everything has a solution, you can work it out.
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