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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
Re: On being a parent [Re: onceinawhile]
    #4896669 - 11/05/05 06:41 AM (18 years, 3 months ago)

Troll troll troll. There is entertainment value in an imaginative troll, but a blatant troll is just to boring. If your going to troll a forum at least learn how to be effective. Read this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slashdot_trolls


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Offlineisander
Monk
Registered: 09/04/05
Posts: 28
Loc: nowhere
Last seen: 17 years, 8 months
18? [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #4898519 - 11/05/05 09:06 PM (18 years, 3 months ago)

I think this is an excellent insight, except why 18? Psychological maturity is what is necessary in my opinion. The body of course requires special treatment until sexual maturity. Some 8 year olds live in 45 year old bodies. Some 105 year olds live inside 6 year old bodies. Trauma ages the mind. I remember this.


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For those that know, no explanation is necessary. For those that do not know, no explanation may suffice.
-someone smarter than me

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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
happy mutant
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Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
Re: On being a parent [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #5055428 - 12/12/05 11:11 PM (18 years, 2 months ago)

interestingly, i drudged up this post while reflecting on parenthood and there just happened to be an episode of _sex and the city_ on my tv where carrie wanders into a shop she likes to find out it's became a comicbook store and has this flirtation with the owner that leads to him having her over to his place. it's this amazing home overlooking the park which explains itself when his mother pops in, and he explains how it's all a part of his practical plan. this proves itself a front when the following day when his parents are out and he busts out an ounce of kind nuggets and carrie gets stoned and relives her teens, ultimately of course with his mom coming home early and him freaking out about her kicking him out if he gets caught again. trying to keep a straight face about the absurdity of it all as his mom grinds into him about the pot, he blames it on carrie. dropped jawed for a second she realizes she is a 36yo woman and says "yes Mrs. so n' so, it's my pot..... aaaand i'mmmmmmmmm taaking it wiiiiiiiiith me!" and walks out with his ounce.

on the flipside, samantha, who's in p.r., winds up having a 12yo client whose father is throwing her a birthday party - nothing about this 12yo resembles a child, from the way she asserts herself, dresses, and talks about sex - and the story plays out with her feelings from being at ends with this little egotistical brat to more of a sorrow she and her friends are totally missing their childhood.


well, it's obvious that you're a man and the pride and value you take in autonomy, and i commend you for it, as long as you remember it's only half the story as the more female orientated trait of emotional intimacy keeps the family alive. having a good understanding of their joys even if by generational gap they're far removed from your own - what say hip hop or videogames or what not takes work. but i'd say spending that time to hang out with them and without judgment finding a joy in what they enjoy is invaluable experience in open mindedness, and is where you can plant seeds to motivate them to want to get outside themselves, so at the least they'll take a joy in seeing you enjoying bob dylan, for example, without being snotty or embarassed. it's that kind of emotional support where you can give them their space to be involved in things you don't enjoy or necessarily approve of, perhaps they like Marilyn Manson for example, without it becoming an emotional space between the two of you. then that whole adolescent herd mentality of trendiness and narrowing appreciation for diversity to the one thing the pack dictates as cool doesn't hold power over a child.

ain't a parent, but those are some thoughts from having reverse engineered parents i know.

buenos noches
CJ


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Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.

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