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 tak
geo's henchman
 
Registered: 11/20/00
Posts: 3,776
Loc: nowhereland
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 Mindfuck 
#495545 - 12/19/01 12:38 AM (21 years, 11 months ago) |
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On a heavy trip..yes the one i always talk about... :[ well i felt like i unlocked a secret to the universe, however it was not complete cause i did not know how. In my world, to do something i need to eat something, push a button, pull a lever, make some physical contact...this was none of the above, it was a mindset that launched me into the higher stae of existance, not really but whoa. Is it possible to unlock doors with your mind, not physical doors but ya know. I think of course it is, its called enlightenment, its called hte way, its called whatever hte fuck you call it nowadays, however. At my point in this thing, i felt as thought life as we know it, friends, family, everything did not matter, why was i so obsessed with them, they were pointless and this thing i was at was, it is, it will be, it was fucking confusing. I ended up being alone feeling like i was in hell, man I wish it never hapend, it haunted me for months, i couldnt sleep, i couldnt think without this mind fucking thought of hell. Now that i lose the memory i kinda wish i could experiance it again, because i know it went away, and there was alot to know...however these items, wich i can picture with 100% accuracy in my mind, however cant even begin to see, or think of seeing, these items are evil, and good, At the time, i felt like i was at the core of being, and the amount of information was crazy, it was the information superhighway, and i was in htemiddle confused. I thougth i was in the core, the 1 point of the begining of infinity. How clever of them, they will never get me!
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The DJ's took pills to stay awake and play for seven days.
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 the universe
Harbinger ofEldritch Despair
Registered: 03/10/99
Posts: 1,456
Loc: Under your bed
Last seen: 15 years, 8 months
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 Re: Mindfuck [Re: tak]
#495555 - 12/19/01 12:59 AM (21 years, 11 months ago) |
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Problem is, if you don't want to feel like you're in a lonely hell, you've got to realize the importance of the superficial crap around you(like friends and family). You've got to enjoy the art you create through living. At least, that's what I've gotten out of the experience you've had. I have had several very similar trips to the one you had by the sound of it.
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"If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn't rub out even half the 'Fuck you' signs in the world."- J. D. Salinger
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tak
geo's henchman
Registered: 11/20/00
Posts: 3,776
Loc: nowhereland
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this is a thing i lack. I moved months ago, i find myself out of school...no socializing, and on my computer, never getting out. I really think i need some interaction, the less im with people the less i want to be with them, and the more annoyed i get with thier stupid shit.
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The DJ's took pills to stay awake and play for seven days.
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Mitchnast
Toadmonger
Registered: 10/27/99
Posts: 8,655
Loc: Okanagan
Last seen: 1 month, 30 days
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Re: Mindfuck [Re: tak]
#495565 - 12/19/01 01:14 AM (21 years, 11 months ago) |
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sns like you got shit figured out and dont know what the hell to do with it :)
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tak
geo's henchman
Registered: 11/20/00
Posts: 3,776
Loc: nowhereland
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Re: Mindfuck [Re: Mitchnast]
#495569 - 12/19/01 01:28 AM (21 years, 11 months ago) |
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What do i have figured out, i need answers now! :P
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The DJ's took pills to stay awake and play for seven days.
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Mitchnast
Toadmonger
Registered: 10/27/99
Posts: 8,655
Loc: Okanagan
Last seen: 1 month, 30 days
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Re: Mindfuck [Re: tak]
#495574 - 12/19/01 01:37 AM (21 years, 11 months ago) |
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you cant ask that of others, or you will become consumed by the mass, existing singularlyless and less day by da, obscured. no one can affort to loose their soul friend.
hangnto it, treat it like youre primary responsibility, and it will grow,you OUGHT to know by now what this means
good luck
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tak
geo's henchman
Registered: 11/20/00
Posts: 3,776
Loc: nowhereland
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Re: Mindfuck [Re: Mitchnast]
#495579 - 12/19/01 01:44 AM (21 years, 11 months ago) |
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I gave my soul to my ex girlfriend in attempt to give her what she wanted. Do i still have it, or does she? It was just paper, and i didn't MEAN it at heart, however, who knows! :>
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The DJ's took pills to stay awake and play for seven days.
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Mitchnast
Toadmonger
Registered: 10/27/99
Posts: 8,655
Loc: Okanagan
Last seen: 1 month, 30 days
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Re: Mindfuck [Re: tak]
#495609 - 12/19/01 02:50 AM (21 years, 11 months ago) |
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oops, rock paper-soul.
best two out of three?
its your only hope to win when you lose on a big gamble because you thought it small.
or break into he house and steal your soul back, you got a good enough excuse. ironically enough, you would be surprised how well this will work in the end :)
those eyes of yours, fixed forward, maybe you just need to turn them in backwards and have a look around.
or at least come to realize that its the same. evrything in your feild of influence is a direct reflection of your own sanity.
looking around yourself, what do you see? what have you found?
can you beleive in the things you now know?
are you plagued by selective amnesia, i know you are. wanna ask me how i know this. if you try, really try and be fearless with your convictions, you will know why now wont you? you already know, you always have, but you just cant see it. something gets fuzzy when it is reveiled, something shakes, something tweaks, your eyes become blinded by reflex to selective stimuli. nows your time to choose between your training for society, and yourself.
if you dont set your own limits someone else will. setting your own boundries is the only freedom we have, in limitation lies freedom. make your own decision, its your freedom that i would not dare deprive you of, its really all too interesting to see what you choose. evryones finger crossed that you will choose wisely and bravely. it would all be so easy if a white rabbit ran through your house screeming that time and the universe is messed up and you follow him down the hole.
look around, were swaerming, were living in giant hives, were waiting for an answer. what are YOU waiting for?
christmas?
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D_Tox
Boddhisattva
Registered: 10/31/01
Posts: 239
Loc: Lab 23
Last seen: 20 years, 9 months
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Re: Mindfuck [Re: Mitchnast]
#495868 - 12/19/01 11:17 AM (21 years, 11 months ago) |
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there's three elements to your existence. your answer lies in the third element that connects and binds the other two..
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D_Tox
to understand other people….to be aware
to understand animals….to be a decent person
to understand plants….. to be a refined individual
to understand the mushroom…to be enlightened
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Tannis
ZoneTrooper
Registered: 12/13/01
Posts: 508
Loc: MD.USA
Last seen: 20 years, 8 months
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 Re: Mindfuck [Re: tak]
#495882 - 12/19/01 11:40 AM (21 years, 11 months ago) |
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I've come to "know" that along with physical doors-there are doors of perception. You sound as though you may have unlocked several. My concept of hell (aside from the fire and brimstone-which I happen to believe IS REAL) is one of total separation from everything except "who we are". Nobody is perfect and being locked in a dimension with your imperfections staring you in the face IS HELL! It sounds to me like you unlocked a door, walked through, and maybe had a little trouble finding your way back... The trouble with being a "real adventurer" is that you can "really" get hurt, lost, or dead! You've seen who you really are...(total isolation)...and you "see through" the pointless shit of other people...(seeing truth and so a loss of illusion)...its only natural to dislike being around others...(a desire to connect but not finding a worthy person to conncect to)... You have greater awareness...(that's being connected to things-the universe-God-other people)...Is your next "step" to find where you fit in all this madness? Now that the curtain of reality has been lifted and you've seen the "back stage" ropes and cardboard sets of illusion...people love their illusions...("delusions")...are you ready to connect? Are you ready to find YOUR place? Do you believe that Someone or something "out there" put you the root-ninja-tak on this world for a specific reason? Finding your purpose can make all the chaos jump together like puzzle pieces. How to do this is take yourself to God or the Higher Power that wants to embrace you-and wants you to embrace yourself-and others...
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QuantumMeltdown
Space Monkey
Registered: 10/31/01
Posts: 4,962
Loc: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Last seen: 3 months, 11 days
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 Re: Mindfuck [Re: tak]
#495989 - 12/19/01 02:01 PM (21 years, 11 months ago) |
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I have had several trips with the same theme that was described in your post. I think that this realization that you had about everyone you have ever known not being important could be because you have realized you/they us are all god the same lonely creature just with different external personalities but on the inside we are all the same. And this pain that you talk about I think this could be the joy or the pain that god feels but whatever it is its super intense. The hell described is probably suffered by god. Imagine what it would be like to be the only entity that always was and always will be bored as shit for all of eternity nothing to do but have phantasies that are really meaningless. Thats what I think we all are just phantasies of our selves(god) and when we realize what we are and what everyone we have everknown is and its the same lonely person it can be really intense.
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-QuantumMeltdown
Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
-Mark Twain
"The time has come the walrus said, little oysters hide their heads, my Twain of thought is loosely bound I guess its time to Mark this down, Be good and you will be lonesome
Be lonesome and you will be free
Live a lie and you will live to regret it
That's what livin' is to me
That's what livin' is to me"
Jimmy Buffett
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Amoeba665
strange
Registered: 05/23/00
Posts: 275
Loc: a hidden microutopia at t...
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
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Re: Mindfuck [Re: tak]
#496031 - 12/19/01 02:47 PM (21 years, 11 months ago) |
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maybe you should try reading some books on zen buddhism. it sounds like you've gotten as much of the concepts as you can out of your trips, maybe now you need some clarification... its very difficult to truly grasp concepts like individuality, duality, infinity, evolution, nothing matters/everything matters on your own...
just a suggestion. i'm a firm believer in the idea that, for the strong-minded person, no knowledge is bad knowledge.
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QuantumMeltdown
Space Monkey
Registered: 10/31/01
Posts: 4,962
Loc: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Last seen: 3 months, 11 days
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Re: Mindfuck [Re: Amoeba665]
#496179 - 12/19/01 05:29 PM (21 years, 11 months ago) |
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I would like to read some zen buddhism books or maybe tao. What is the difference between the two? Also do you think that books written by western authors make any sense and do they include the esoteric meaning behind it? You are right it is hard to figure it all out on your own as I am without a mentor in the psychedelic world to guide me on the right path.
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-QuantumMeltdown
Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
-Mark Twain
"The time has come the walrus said, little oysters hide their heads, my Twain of thought is loosely bound I guess its time to Mark this down, Be good and you will be lonesome
Be lonesome and you will be free
Live a lie and you will live to regret it
That's what livin' is to me
That's what livin' is to me"
Jimmy Buffett
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QuantumMeltdown
Space Monkey
Registered: 10/31/01
Posts: 4,962
Loc: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Last seen: 3 months, 11 days
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By the way could you recomend some books?
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-QuantumMeltdown
Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
-Mark Twain
"The time has come the walrus said, little oysters hide their heads, my Twain of thought is loosely bound I guess its time to Mark this down, Be good and you will be lonesome
Be lonesome and you will be free
Live a lie and you will live to regret it
That's what livin' is to me
That's what livin' is to me"
Jimmy Buffett
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gribochek
enthusiast
Registered: 04/18/99
Posts: 286
Last seen: 19 years, 8 months
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Feels like you got an answer to the question of Life Universe and Everything, doesn't it? And then, then what, the question becomes, right? Wrong, you think you are holding an answer, but that which you are holding is no more related to the answer then the drawing of a lamp related to the sun. You have put it in the best words possible, and once again, alas, you don't have it. Don't tell me the Game is not fun. Don't tell me the game is boring. Hell is what makes the Game so great, Hell is what makes the stakes so high, and those who walk on the brink of Hell, are the most respectible roles of all, for they risk so much if anything at all.... (wow, am I stoned or what?)
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QuantumMeltdown
Space Monkey
Registered: 10/31/01
Posts: 4,962
Loc: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Last seen: 3 months, 11 days
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Re: Mindfuck [Re: gribochek]
#496350 - 12/19/01 08:22 PM (21 years, 11 months ago) |
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(wow, am I stoned or what?)
gribochek,
Thats a great post man. Just read it stoned.
"Feels like you got an answer to the question of Life Universe and Everything, doesn't it?"
well no right now I wouldn't consider myself anymore enlightend then any of you who post here. On trips I get this feeling but I always manage to forget what it was I was thinking that made me feel that way thus I continue to trip. I actually enjoy these hell visions I get sometimes after they are over and done with it makes you gain alot more respect for life in general.
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-QuantumMeltdown
Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
-Mark Twain
"The time has come the walrus said, little oysters hide their heads, my Twain of thought is loosely bound I guess its time to Mark this down, Be good and you will be lonesome
Be lonesome and you will be free
Live a lie and you will live to regret it
That's what livin' is to me
That's what livin' is to me"
Jimmy Buffett
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StrangeDays
Bob
Registered: 10/26/98
Posts: 160
Last seen: 19 years, 1 month
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Re: Mindfuck [Re: tak]
#496430 - 12/19/01 09:39 PM (21 years, 11 months ago) |
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In reply to:
the less im with people the less i want to be with them, and the more annoyed i get with thier stupid shit.
In reply to:
i need answers now! :P
Love.
In reply to:
I gave my soul to my ex girlfriend in attempt to give her what she wanted. Do i still have it, or does she?
There is only one soul in the whole universe :)
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Mitchnast
Toadmonger
Registered: 10/27/99
Posts: 8,655
Loc: Okanagan
Last seen: 1 month, 30 days
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one soul with a serious case of multiple personality disorder.
ssome of those personalities experience the awakening of whatever repressed memories lead to this creation.
MPD is a coping mechanism. in this case perhaps it is a vice to better cope with the realization of the truth of ones self. the revelation of darkness and evil, the casting down of the bad angels. the vicarious living through invemnted realities and personalities, we are very powerful when we dont tie ourselves down.
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Amoeba665
strange
Registered: 05/23/00
Posts: 275
Loc: a hidden microutopia at t...
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
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In reply to:
I would like to read some zen buddhism books or maybe tao. What is the difference between the two? Also do you think that books written by western authors make any sense and do they include the esoteric meaning behind it? You are right it is hard to figure it all out on your own as I am without a mentor in the psychedelic world to guide me on the right path.
i too am exploring on my own... one day i'll probably seek a teacher, but right now i just want to go as far as i can by myself.. i've only recently begun seriously studying zen buddhism, i was attracted by its abstract method of intellectualizing, i think. it seems like a safe place to start.. its about breaking down the ego, achieving harmony with nature, and it acknowledges and transcends (?) the limitations of language.
tao is a chinese philosophy, emphasizing things like transcending definitions, making your mind into an extention of your intuition (energy/imagination that drives life), being in harmony with your surroundings...buddhism is an indian religious tradition that promises enlightenment through nondoing, eliminating desire somehow (which is a manifestation of ego and reinforcement of duality), and achieving harmony. zen buddhism is indian buddhism melded with chinese taoist philosophy. they already overlapped in many ways, its a natural pairing..
about western authors, i certainly think its possible for them to include the esoteric meanings, but its probably a good idea to read writings on the same subject by both eastern and western authors. try "the way of zen" by alan watts, its a very loyal overview and explanation of the eastern tradition written using a western sense of detachment and rationalism.. useful for people like us, i think..
i'm also drawn towards tantric buddhism.. although all i have is one out-of-print book called 'the tantric way' which is just an overview of its history and ideas, no exercises or anything. useful, though. tantra (its much more than just a way to have great sex) has some very well established theories (?) on different aspects of our spiritual being. it focuses on experiencing enlightenment through immersing ourselves in the experience of reality, finding divinity in every act, even repulsive ones. they also have had rather accurate explanations of some scientific phenomena, like atoms and molecules, for example, thousands of years before western science ever proved any of it.
i like these 2 paths in particular because they seem to be very intellectual and rational and strongly emphasize the importance of experience and being grounded in reality. i have a lot of trouble making leaps of faith, even small ones, i think the best way to find possible truth is to experience the truth yourself.
it would definitely be nice to have some help in exploring these things though... i'm still rather afraid that i may be disappointed with the enlightenment i recieve by following these procedures... :( but i won't know unless i try, right? really thats the main thing i want, is to know that at least some of these things that are claimed, and that i think i feel sometimes, are true.
well that was longer than i expected. don't know if it makes a lot of sense but its the best i could do. stuff's kinda hard to understand.
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WhiteBoy
journeyman
Registered: 12/13/01
Posts: 79
Loc: California
Last seen: 21 years, 10 months
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 Re: Mindfuck [Re: tak]
#497550 - 12/21/01 02:28 AM (21 years, 11 months ago) |
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"the less im with people the less i want to be with them, and the more annoyed i get with thier stupid shit."
--tak
lol..welcome to the wonderful world of misanthropy. I happen to be very near to where you are, so the next time we throw a party or something I'll take you with us and get you centered. :)
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"Pain for pleasure; pain for adoration; pain is to godliness; bleeding for ecstasy...Divine Pain."
-Morbid Angel
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tak
geo's henchman
Registered: 11/20/00
Posts: 3,776
Loc: nowhereland
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QuantumMeltdown
The things you explained there were my feelings exactly, maybe this God thing isnt all its cracked up to be. I felt like i was god, i was everythign and notign at once, i was alone, yet not, i was everythign and its opposite. Im not ognan repeat everythign you said, but it was scary reading your post, and thinking the same thing. Its not just you, alot of people sharehtis trip, maybe its because its the truth, maybe its just a possibility, and one of the extremes in our world, our 3d world. Maybe it isnt that bad, maybe it is. But if we are fucked forever, atleast We/i/Me/whatever ? can have fun escaping with our little selves. Do you think if god created us, and we are him, its liek him playing barbies, and he is having a power trip, and shit? :D Oh well, fuck it.
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The DJ's took pills to stay awake and play for seven days.
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tak
geo's henchman
Registered: 11/20/00
Posts: 3,776
Loc: nowhereland
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Re: Mindfuck [Re: WhiteBoy]
#497592 - 12/21/01 03:17 AM (21 years, 11 months ago) |
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Man i read a post, wanan comment, read more, wanna comment. I love you all, you reply so perfect. The stoned post, that was wonderful, nothing is better than knowing your truth is not. But coming to 1 answer, i feel is a stepping stone. That answer becomes your next question, and when that answer comes, its is your next. Its the point when your answer is the first one ever. The basic component of life, the 'thing' . Mit: Maybe god is schitzhphrenic, and when we pray we are lal the voices talking to him. har. Maybe he got so lonely in perfection, he created a friend, satan to play with him, cause when you are god, i think you do anything, wich leads to my next question: Do you believe in fate? Str8 out hte matrix, im thinking this is my life, who the fuck are you to set my rules. Maybe we can take control. Us as humans, us as god, alone for eternity. Who says whats wrong and whats right, sometimes you gotta say fuck it and try? now lets go play some ball.
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The DJ's took pills to stay awake and play for seven days.
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