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 musher_420
Stranger
Registered: 08/01/05
Posts: 2,691
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 Re: Ego Death - Is anyone ever truly prepared?  [Re: musher_420]
#4946810 - 11/17/05 02:18 PM (18 years, 4 months ago) |
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Sorry missed that second post:
Well that trip I was talking about I don't remember how many grams it was. I had an ounce with me at this party and I was drinking too. I just kept eating them mushrooms. Even when I was like man this is intense I was still chewing some more before I realized wow these havent even started to hit me. I ran home. I locked myself in my room. Then I had to piss sooo bad..drinking 12 beers will do that.. But I was honestly scared for my life to go from my room to the bathroom. I just peeked out the door and then ran as fast as I could to the bathroom.
I had just my boxers on and I was stareing in the mirror and things were just fucked. I mean I felt almost like an ape or monkey. My gestures where so strange I kept takeing my hand and pulling on my lower jaw biting my fingers....very Gilbert Grape-esq...... I took a setp back because I was scared of something and fell into the tub I swoung around so that I was laying in it properly and I just stared at the shower head that was like a snake. felt my body become liquid then go down the drain and that was it. Next morning I was in my bed.
Edited by musher_420 (11/17/05 02:21 PM)
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 Prajna
ReliablyUnreliable
Registered: 10/08/05
Posts: 588
Loc: Proud Canadian
Last seen: 18 years, 21 days
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Re: Ego Death - Is anyone ever truly prepared? [Re: Prajna]
#4946859 - 11/17/05 02:28 PM (18 years, 4 months ago) |
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8 Grams! 
That would be enough to propel me into next week! lol
I'm a lightweight though, I wonder if you have to sort of intend to go through ego loss for it to happen?
Or it could just be a myth, for all I know... 
I was going to just put some earth sounds or something on the player, lay down and chill, try to meditate. Most of my trips are with a group, doing things, so I can't even say that it will be different than a normal trip just by being alone, but at 5 and a half grams, it should be at least the most intense trip for me ever...
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Ego Death - Is anyone ever truly prepared? [Re: Prajna]
#4946869 - 11/17/05 02:30 PM (18 years, 4 months ago) |
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I wasn't prepared...no fucking way. Five dried grams. I think now I had some sort of mental break after my experience. It just confounded me, confused me, just that much. NOTHING made sense, for weeks afterward.
Well, it's been almost a year and a half now since that trip (and about 15 trips since then) and I intend on doing a large dose again whenever my kitten gets her grow going. I am going into the experience with MUCH more respect then I did last time...I know how horrific the experience can become. But it's given me SO MUCH in return for the hell I went through, that I think it might be worth going back.
Let me tell you...that egodeath trip shaped my life afterwards. It's like there's my life before that trip, and my life after that trip, and they're two different existences. You *really* have to know what you're getting into when you tamper with high doses. I went into my first large dose with ego blazing ("I can do this, it'll be great), and GOD did it *hurt* when my sense of self began to unravel. Words cannot express the horror.
If you want to prepare for a trip like this, I suggest reading 'The Psychedelic Experience,' by Timothy Leary. In my opinion, it is *essential* reading for any tripper who wants to experiment with high doses.
I think if I had read that book before I took my first high dose then I would have been a lot more prepared for what happened. It was the only thing that kept me grounded after the trip, when my mind was so fragmented. Read it, use it. Then read it again. Trust me, you won't regret doing so.
That said, I am very thankful for the egodeath experience I had. So thankful, I'm almost ready to tempt fate again.  
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musher_420
Stranger
Registered: 08/01/05
Posts: 2,691
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Re: Ego Death - Is anyone ever truly prepared? [Re: Prajna]
#4946887 - 11/17/05 02:33 PM (18 years, 4 months ago) |
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Most I have eatin was that night I was talking about im assuming it was around 10g but I could be wrong. About half that ounce was gone the next morning. A close friend did 13g. Told me how he thought he was dead. It was at a bush party. He took off. next morning came back all cut up from branches and shit.
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Prajna
ReliablyUnreliable
Registered: 10/08/05
Posts: 588
Loc: Proud Canadian
Last seen: 18 years, 21 days
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Re: Ego Death - Is anyone ever truly prepared? [Re: MOTH]
#4946950 - 11/17/05 02:47 PM (18 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
EllemyshShade said:
I wasn't prepared...no fucking way. Five dried grams. I think now I had some sort of mental break after my experience. It just confounded me, confused me, just that much. NOTHING made sense, for weeks afterward.
Well, it's been almost a year and a half now since that trip (and about 15 trips since then) and I intend on doing a large dose again whenever my kitten gets her grow going. I am going into the experience with MUCH more respect then I did last time...I know how horrific the experience can become. But it's given me SO MUCH in return for the hell I went through, that I think it might be worth going back.
Let me tell you...that egodeath trip shaped my life afterwards. It's like there's my life before that trip, and my life after that trip, and they're two different existences. You *really* have to know what you're getting into when you tamper with high doses. I went into my first large dose with ego blazing ("I can do this, it'll be great), and GOD did it *hurt* when my sense of self began to unravel. Words cannot express the horror.
If you want to prepare for a trip like this, I suggest reading 'The Psychedelic Experience,' by Timothy Leary. In my opinion, it is *essential* reading for any tripper who wants to experiment with high doses.
I think if I had read that book before I took my first high dose then I would have been a lot more prepared for what happened. It was the only thing that kept me grounded after the trip, when my mind was so fragmented. Read it, use it. Then read it again. Trust me, you won't regret doing so.
That said, I am very thankful for the egodeath experience I had. So thankful, I'm almost ready to tempt fate again.
Awesome post El...I will read that book right away! If you can think of any other advise I might need please let me know because I want to prepare as much as possible. Don't want to get caught in that "lack of respect" mentality that often accompanies strong trips.
Did you write a trip report for that one, I would love to read it...
Musher, if I did what your buddy did with 13 grams I'd still be in that forest!...lol
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Ego Death - Is anyone ever truly prepared? [Re: Prajna]
#4947016 - 11/17/05 02:57 PM (18 years, 4 months ago) |
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Did you write a trip report for that one, I would love to read it...
Ha...see, before the trip, I was like, "I'm going to write an AWESOME trip report after this!"
After the trip, I realized, "Language is meaningless."
But if you want some interesting reading, here is the thread in which I reported the night's events, beginning with, "I just ate my shrooms!"
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CaptainKirk
Registered: 07/15/05
Posts: 2,478
Loc: gone
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Re: Ego Death - Is anyone ever truly prepared? [Re: Prajna]
#4947020 - 11/17/05 02:58 PM (18 years, 4 months ago) |
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i went thru the deatyh thing last saturday night on 4.5 grmas of my first poo shroom batch..i was used to my rye shrooms i guess,cause i usally eat 5 or so and am fine,not htese poo beast's..they kicked my ass,next thing ya know im convinced that my chemical process's in the body are shutting down,almost to the point that i can hear it happening..wow ..i knew what was goign down byt was powerless to stop it  it was a long couple of hrs..it will be awhile before i trip again 
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Chikitta
Registered: 03/12/05
Posts: 632
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Re: Ego Death - Is anyone ever truly prepared? [Re: Prajna]
#4947263 - 11/17/05 03:46 PM (18 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Prajna said:I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced it, what is was like and how did they prepare?
Wouldn't really describe mine as a heroic dose, but I munched 65g of fresh cubes 6 months ago.
What does it feel like? For me it felt like drowning. Not that I've ever drowned before, but I've been underwater for longer than I've been comfortable with and the start of this trip felt exactly the same.
You're under water for a short time... you've still got plenty of air in your lungs so you feel fine. But the longer you stay there, the more uncomfortable you get. You start to panic. You start scrambling for the surface, but it isn't helping... if anything, you're getting deeper. As your oxygen runs out, you give in. The panic fades away... you relax.
You are reborn.
It was a very intense and introspective trip, although surprisingly short (visuals were almost totally gone after 4 hours... lower doses have given me a good 6 hours of visuals). The come up was pretty rough, and I really was in a state of panic and despair for a few minutes.
How did I prepare? I didn't. I wasn't expecting to go as far as I did so I didn't prepare for it in any way. Not that it would have helped - nothing could have prepared me for what happened.
Would I do it again? Yeah, probably. It's not something I'd like to experience every week, but I learned a lot and despite the first hour of the trip, it was very enjoyable.
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Muppet69_420
Speed feeder
Registered: 03/23/05
Posts: 2,592
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
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Re: Ego Death - Is anyone ever truly prepared? [Re: musher_420]
#4947340 - 11/17/05 03:58 PM (18 years, 4 months ago) |
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I think ego-loss is such a drag why would anyone want that  I feel it's so disturbing and usually causes a bad trip.
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Quote:
I live to learn and learn to live.
forget w/e was here b4 it was meth gibberish....    ....thats as old as my account...
On that note fart in public and grin. 
Hail Shroomery!
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incubaby_421
half naked andfull witted
Registered: 08/14/04
Posts: 2,629
Loc: the center of the univers...
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
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Re: Ego Death - Is anyone ever truly prepared? [Re: Muppet69_420]
#4947889 - 11/17/05 05:33 PM (18 years, 4 months ago) |
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no
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"yet the more i dig, the more i consume, the more i unfold... the less protected i feel.
i am the spit on the hair of the son of an electron, swimming around the nucleus of a cell inside the sperm of a killer bee, and my purpose is as nebulous as why weve been bestowed with the capacity to give a shit" Brandon Boyd
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Underhillmaster
The LemonProphet
Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 414
Loc: Parts Unknown
Last seen: 15 years, 11 months
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Re: Ego Death - Is anyone ever truly prepared? [Re: incubaby_421]
#4948062 - 11/17/05 06:14 PM (18 years, 4 months ago) |
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I don't think you can be prepared for the first time you lose your ego. You may be able to focus it into a pleasurable experience, but you won't be prepared. You will reach the point where you get THE FEAR. You will KNOW that you are higher than you have ever been and that you may not be ready. Then you get higher  You will think you ate too much, and then your your brain cracks lol. You will most usually lose control of your motor skills and be trapped inside your own thoughts. You very well may panic. You have to remember to breathe. Try to 'let go'. Any knowledge you have going in from books and forums and friends will only help. Meditation and using mantras can also be very beneficial. While meditating during my last level 5 trip, the Oneness of the universe was explained and simplified to me as a dot lol. All is one, and one is all, and its all in this little .
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If you cut off my head, what would I say? Me and my head, or me and my body?
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Prajna
ReliablyUnreliable
Registered: 10/08/05
Posts: 588
Loc: Proud Canadian
Last seen: 18 years, 21 days
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Re: Ego Death - Is anyone ever truly prepared? [Re: Underhillmaster]
#4948350 - 11/17/05 07:15 PM (18 years, 4 months ago) |
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Interesting thread...really makes me think.
Someone posted "why would someone want to do this?"...I thought about that for awhile because it really is a good question.
The only real answer I can come up with is "Why not?" and "I feel like I need to".
My thinking has become very stagnant lately, and think I need to shake up my head a little, maybe things in there will settle a bit differently after the shake up...
I'm wondering though if the positive benefits only come from the relief that one has not died, or become "like this for the rest of my life"...
It almost sounds like it gives the experiencer more gratitude for life in because they genuinely thought that they were going to lose it...
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TODAY
Battletoad
Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
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Re: Ego Death - Is anyone ever truly prepared? [Re: Prajna]
#4948395 - 11/17/05 07:22 PM (18 years, 4 months ago) |
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i experience ego death from booze in the form of a blackout alot, but that's more like a deep sleep you wake up from w/ no memmories. i'm pretty scared to try it on shrooms because i've been close and it was NO fun.
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ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.
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Prajna
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Registered: 10/08/05
Posts: 588
Loc: Proud Canadian
Last seen: 18 years, 21 days
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Re: Ego Death - Is anyone ever truly prepared? [Re: TODAY]
#4948538 - 11/17/05 07:51 PM (18 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
TODAY said:
i experience ego death from booze in the form of a blackout alot, but that's more like a deep sleep you wake up from w/ no memmories. i'm pretty scared to try it on shrooms because i've been close and it was NO fun.
I know that feeling all to well friend...lol. I used to be a blackout drinker too, nearly cost me my whole life...
That is definitely NOT what I am after, this is supposed to be way more conscience then that...
I love your picture too BTW...That's my favorite Dali painting.
"I don't do drugs, I AM drugs..." - Salvidor Dali
Classic.
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Bhairabas
Stranger
Registered: 07/21/03
Posts: 889
Loc: Toronto Canada
Last seen: 18 years, 2 months
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Re: Ego Death - Is anyone ever truly prepared? [Re: TODAY]
#4948579 - 11/17/05 07:56 PM (18 years, 4 months ago) |
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When I took 11 hits of acid I watched myself dissolve into dust particles that were being sucked into what looked like a black hole in the corner of my living room.. Eventualy I completely dissolved and all that existed were coloured waves that varried in colour and intensity.. I became completely unaware that I had ever existed in any form.. Evrything was formless and constantly changing and it seemed beyond eternal.. The concept of myself was temporarily erased for at least 4 hours where found my self underneathe a coffee table grasping on one of the legs like it was the only thing keeping from falling off the face of the earth.. The only thing that made me aware of something beyond the world I was experincing was my friend who began yelling some gibberish which made me wonder where it was coming from and then I wondred where my thoughts were coming from, I then remebered what was happening and rediscoverd I actualy had a mind of my own to think with.. We had to teach each other the concept of language all over again as neither of us could grasp the concpet of self yet.. I think I was calling him You I and he was calling me I You.. We trpped are asses off for about a day and still felt pretty wierd for about a week afterward.. Definatly one of the crazziest drug induced if not the crazziest experience I've ever had.. I wouldn't recommend it but glad I did it..
Edited by Bhairabas (11/17/05 07:59 PM)
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TODAY
Battletoad
Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
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Re: Ego Death - Is anyone ever truly prepared? [Re: Prajna]
#4951567 - 11/18/05 12:45 PM (18 years, 4 months ago) |
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don't worry, i'm kind of realizing that getting all drunk and waking up feeling like shit isn't a great thing. i'm in the process of toning down alchy and tuning into weed more seriously 
i will always enjoy a couple of good beers though...
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ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.
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some1whoisntme
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Registered: 09/21/05
Posts: 882
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
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Re: Ego Death - Is anyone ever truly prepared? [Re: TODAY]
#4953700 - 11/18/05 09:37 PM (18 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
But the longer you stay there, the more uncomfortable you get. You start to panic. You start scrambling for the surface, but it isn't helping... if anything, you're getting deeper. As your oxygen runs out, you give in. The panic fades away... you relax.
You are reborn.
Wow, I actually just experienced that. it was incredible.
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"Ignore the distortion you're forced to percieve and believe that what supercedes is love, but who agrees?"
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incubaby_421
half naked andfull witted
Registered: 08/14/04
Posts: 2,629
Loc: the center of the univers...
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
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Re: Ego Death - Is anyone ever truly prepared? [Re: some1whoisntme]
#4953778 - 11/18/05 09:56 PM (18 years, 4 months ago) |
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thats funny bhairabas, on a pretty high dose of mescaline i once turned into sand particles and drifted away in the breeze...
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"yet the more i dig, the more i consume, the more i unfold... the less protected i feel.
i am the spit on the hair of the son of an electron, swimming around the nucleus of a cell inside the sperm of a killer bee, and my purpose is as nebulous as why weve been bestowed with the capacity to give a shit" Brandon Boyd
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