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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 9,954
Loc: You can't spell fungus wi...
Human Upgrades
    #4950078 - 11/18/05 04:48 AM (15 years, 8 months ago)

The Simple Nose


The simplified nostril helps to keep the sinus nasal clean. The upgrade does not affects the original function of the mucosa which is due to unique DNA culture manipulated and growth by KanaLabs (Kanazawa, Japan).
The specialy shaped mucosa is 30 % bigger than the original one ?to ensure full non-problematic function. Thanks to this special mucosa the vibrissas are not needed anymore and are permanently removed from whole sinus nasal.
To keep desired shape of the nose the nasal cartilage is lenghten by recipients DNA culture and bio-plastic shaping bridge is implanted.


The Simplear


Very practical upgrade. With no collops the ear is easier to keep clean. The functionaility of the ear-wax glands is reduced to minimum. Therefore the wax function is kept but with no more negative effect.
At the most cases there is an extensive improvement of the hearing. That is thanks to the special grooves which lead the sound exactly to the redesigned ear canal and than to the ear drum.
Both grooves and ear canal are custom made to fit your needs.
The new external ear is made of recipients DNA culture and completely replaces the original one.


The Simple Tooth


This upgrade is truly revolution in dentistry. Not just because of the shape but also due to the materials and technologies.
With no interdental space there is almost no problem with the food remnants. The cleaning is the simpliest and easiest ever. Just a few motion with toothbrush and finished!
Thanks to the new N-DNA (neutral DNA cell) culture used for the tooth and the unique SRF (self reparation function) is the new tooth in normal circumstances almost ?undestroyable.
The SRF is invented by Human Upgrades Laboratories and provides nutrition of artificial N-DNA cultures. Organ with SRF can partialy repair it self.


The Sixth Finger


The thumb is considerred to be the reason of the human?s motoric ability which is what makes him to be the master of the world.
NOW IT IS THE TIME TO BE THE MASTER OF THE MASTERS.
Be unconquerable - grasp your chance strongly in you hands!
This upgrade uses reciever?s natural DNA culture to grow new thumbs. By connecting them to the effloid ligamens (by evolution forgotten receptors in the brain, easily modificable for the new function with specified properties) these are fully controllabe - the motoric function have to be practised to achieve perfect results.

http://www.humanupgrades.com/




--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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InvisibleZippoZM
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Registered: 06/17/03
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4950083 - 11/18/05 04:50 AM (15 years, 8 months ago)

whaaaaaaaaaa?


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PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: ZippoZ]
    #4950088 - 11/18/05 04:50 AM (15 years, 8 months ago)

weird.


--------------------

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OfflineLicense_to_Chill
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #4950101 - 11/18/05 04:56 AM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Damn cool though. :smile:


--------------------
"I sat on the bus next to God once,
he told me about the true meaning of life...
then he gave me a pretzel..."


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Offlinejohnson657
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: License_to_Chill]
    #4950108 - 11/18/05 04:59 AM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Do they really do that? 2 thumbs would be the shit!!


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InvisiblelIllIIIllIlIIlIlIIllIllIIl
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Registered: 12/16/04
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4950165 - 11/18/05 05:19 AM (15 years, 8 months ago)

I would like the tooth one if it was some kind of super hard allow like carbide and it was fused to your jaw. I would actually do this in a second. BTW the ears and nose and hands are fine the way they are.


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InvisibleBLAST_420
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4950204 - 11/18/05 05:27 AM (15 years, 8 months ago)

i think most of it is just shit they made up, like the simple cunt and palmclit, also the cooling device for you head is fake too if you read about it it says it was used by the U.S. army space-ops


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Offlineprotected_son
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: BLAST_420]
    #4950371 - 11/18/05 06:16 AM (15 years, 8 months ago)

I could imagin that or something alill diffrent. maybe something totaly diffrent maybe something the same. haha na but its cool.
I wonder whatelse they got that stuff is quite insane wonder if its real.


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Offlinefelix
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4950488 - 11/18/05 07:02 AM (15 years, 8 months ago)

ha! that's pretty cool stuff.


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Real botanists laugh at HPS systems, we do however use high pressure sodium in the parking lot. - artthug


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OfflineMcKennaFan200
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4950519 - 11/18/05 07:38 AM (15 years, 8 months ago)

They don't have any centers in the U.S.....damn.

I do like the 6th finger idea though.


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"It seemed to me culture is a shabby lie. Or at least this culture is a shabby lie. If you work like a dog, you get 260 channels of bad television and a German automobile. What kind of perfection is that?"-McKenna


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Offlinemediman0078
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: McKennaFan200]
    #4950901 - 11/18/05 10:55 AM (15 years, 8 months ago)

That nose would be totally easy to pick.....

did i say that out loud?  :banghead:


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........someday I'll find it.


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InvisibleCowgold
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: mediman0078]
    #4950928 - 11/18/05 11:08 AM (15 years, 8 months ago)

more girls should have the nose


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InvisibleCowgold
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: Cowgold]
    #4950929 - 11/18/05 11:08 AM (15 years, 8 months ago)

shutup nose fucker


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Invisiblefearfect
Registered: 01/15/04
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: Cowgold]
    #4950938 - 11/18/05 11:10 AM (15 years, 8 months ago)

im scared


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Offlinefreddurgan
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: McKennaFan200]
    #4950947 - 11/18/05 11:15 AM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Lol, someone put a lot of effort into that website just to fool people.


--------------------
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http://www.ishmael.org

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OfflineMcKennaFan200
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: freddurgan]
    #4950957 - 11/18/05 11:23 AM (15 years, 8 months ago)

What if it's the real deal and you start seeing these people walking around Europe?  That would be scary. :tongue:


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"It seemed to me culture is a shabby lie. Or at least this culture is a shabby lie. If you work like a dog, you get 260 channels of bad television and a German automobile. What kind of perfection is that?"-McKenna


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OfflineFade_To_Black
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: fearfect]
    #4950962 - 11/18/05 11:26 AM (15 years, 8 months ago)

i want a dolphinplasty


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OfflineMicrocosmatrix
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4951132 - 11/18/05 12:22 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

You forgot SIMPLECUNT:

"The complexity of the women?s genitals is source for many diseases and problems. Is crucial to keep clean this part of body to avoid them.
With SIMPLECUNT upgrade the genitals are reduced to the vaginal openning and clitoris. The vaginal openning as well as the clitoris is protected by modificated surounding musculus and complexion. This ensures that the organs are kept in its original environment.
The sexual function is enhanced by using the teleneurons of removed parts used for the current or new ones so the sexual enjoyment is more intensive than before.
The crinis is kept or removed by request."



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:orly:



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OfflineEdge
I like plants

Registered: 04/13/03
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: Microcosmatrix]
    #4951141 - 11/18/05 12:25 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

so is all this stuff reality or a hoax?


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OfflineFade_To_Black
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: Edge]
    #4951153 - 11/18/05 12:28 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

i call shenanigans.


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OfflineMicrocosmatrix
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: Edge]
    #4951164 - 11/18/05 12:32 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Edge said:
so is all this stuff reality or a hoax?




You decide.

I have already decided that it's yet another symptom of "modern" science gone crazy, whether they're doing these "upgrades" or not. They probably are, the world is fucking insane.


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:orly:



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OfflineTheDudeAbides
Livin Off FrostyBarley Pops andPork Soda
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: Microcosmatrix]
    #4951171 - 11/18/05 12:34 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Microcosmatrix said:
Quote:

Edge said:
so is all this stuff reality or a hoax?




You decide.

I have already decided that it's yet another symptom of "modern" science gone crazy, whether they're doing these "upgrades" or not. They probably are, the world is fucking insane.




If they aren't around YET they will be sometime soon, I'm sure..

:shrug:

I'm leaning toward the bullshit card on this one though..


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outputrotation said:
x-com and unsolved mysteries are the only things that have ever made me truly scared


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OfflineMicrocosmatrix
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: Fade_To_Black]
    #4951174 - 11/18/05 12:35 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

You can forget all about those antiquated tinfoil hats!

"Versatile high-frequency aerial working with fraquency range from 10 to 3800 MHz. Fully controllable by effloid ligamens (by evolution forgotten receptors in the brain, easily modificable for the new function with specified properties). Extendable to two-way.
The Bluetooth interface enables wide range of the signal usage.
The device is fully conectable to inner ear and is certified ODP (Organic Data Processing) ready. Power is provided by recipient?s organism."



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:orly:



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InvisibleBLAST_420
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: Microcosmatrix]
    #4951262 - 11/18/05 01:04 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)







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Invisiblethegatewaydrug
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Registered: 11/16/04
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: BLAST_420]
    #4951302 - 11/18/05 01:16 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

wut...the...fuck:what:???

can they really "upgrade" people like this? if they can, thatd cost ALOT of money (or i would think anyways)


--------------------
May God have mercy upon my enemies, because i won't.

General George S. Patton
:paranoid:


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InvisibleBLAST_420
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: thegatewaydrug]
    #4951308 - 11/18/05 01:18 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

i dont know but that pussy tong is funny


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Invisiblethegatewaydrug
my burning sunwill some dayrise

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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: BLAST_420]
    #4951324 - 11/18/05 01:29 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

:yesnod:

im sure any girl would love to have that one :wink:


--------------------
May God have mercy upon my enemies, because i won't.

General George S. Patton
:paranoid:


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InvisibleBLAST_420
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: thegatewaydrug]
    #4951328 - 11/18/05 01:30 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

yea but who would want a clit on there hand


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Invisiblethegatewaydrug
my burning sunwill some dayrise

Registered: 11/16/04
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: BLAST_420]
    #4951332 - 11/18/05 01:32 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

:shrug:

not me


--------------------
May God have mercy upon my enemies, because i won't.

General George S. Patton
:paranoid:


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InvisibleBLAST_420
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: thegatewaydrug]
    #4951335 - 11/18/05 01:35 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

i would like to have the ears, teeth, and webbed hands


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OfflineTheDudeAbides
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: BLAST_420]
    #4951337 - 11/18/05 01:38 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

I would actually get the ear thing if they DID enhance your hearing...

Im deaf as fuck...


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outputrotation said:
x-com and unsolved mysteries are the only things that have ever made me truly scared


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OfflineMicrocosmatrix
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: TheDudeAbides]
    #4951564 - 11/18/05 02:45 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

I'm O.K. with the way I am. :shrug:


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:orly:



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InvisibleBLAST_420
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: Microcosmatrix]
    #4952101 - 11/18/05 04:57 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

has somebody tryed sending them an e-mail? asking if they are real


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OfflineMicrocosmatrix
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: BLAST_420]
    #4952106 - 11/18/05 04:58 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

do it! Or maybe we can send them some LSD marinated steaks and get some free ones! :lol:


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:orly:



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InvisibleBLAST_420
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: Microcosmatrix]
    #4952127 - 11/18/05 05:03 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

well i sent them an e-mail, and if they are for real i might just get a new pair of ears


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InvisibleRevelation

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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: BLAST_420]
    #4952174 - 11/18/05 05:11 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Is it not obviously a fake? I mean yeah the ears and the nose are not that far fetched, but an extra thumb? That's impossible. A clitoris on your hand? Camaaan.


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OfflineMicrocosmatrix
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: Revelation]
    #4952177 - 11/18/05 05:12 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

I'm gonna ask them if they can do Spock ears!!


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:orly:



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OfflinePhanTomCat
Teh Cat....
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: Microcosmatrix]
    #4952211 - 11/18/05 05:18 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Microcosmatrix said:
I'm gonna ask them if they can do Spock ears!!




Don't forget the matching eyebrows...!    :lol:


--------------------
I'll be your midnight French Fry....  :naughty:

"The most important things in life that are often ignored, are the things that one cannot see...."

>^;;^<


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OfflineMicrocosmatrix
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: PhanTomCat]
    #4952221 - 11/18/05 05:21 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

PhanTomCat said:
Quote:

Microcosmatrix said:
I'm gonna ask them if they can do Spock ears!!




Don't forget the matching eyebrows...!    :lol:




indeed  :cool:


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:orly:



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OfflinePhanTomCat
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4952251 - 11/18/05 05:26 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

SkorpivoMusterion said:
The Simple Nose





This kinda~ takes half of the fun out of picking your nose....    :frown:


Although, it would open up a whole new world of porno movies....    :lol:


--------------------
I'll be your midnight French Fry....  :naughty:

"The most important things in life that are often ignored, are the things that one cannot see...."

>^;;^<


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OfflineMicrocosmatrix
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: PhanTomCat]
    #4952268 - 11/18/05 05:31 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Imagine how big of a line of coke you could snort!


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:orly:



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OfflinePhanTomCat
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: Microcosmatrix]
    #4952283 - 11/18/05 05:34 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

You would have to make some kind of special straw, but where there is a will, there is a way....    :wink:


--------------------
I'll be your midnight French Fry....  :naughty:

"The most important things in life that are often ignored, are the things that one cannot see...."

>^;;^<


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OfflineMicrocosmatrix
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: PhanTomCat]
    #4952301 - 11/18/05 05:36 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

this stuff is just too stupid :lol:


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:orly:



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Offlinelemon_lw
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: PhanTomCat]
    #4952306 - 11/18/05 05:37 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

PhanTomCat said:
You would have to make some kind of special straw, but where there is a will, there is a way....    :wink:




you could use the straw of of those sports bottles, you know which ones im talking about?


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In the belly of the Leviathan, one can either despair and perish, or be cheerful and persevere.-Dean Koontz


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: PhanTomCat]
    #4952309 - 11/18/05 05:37 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

I'd be worried about insects flying up there. :crazy:




--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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InvisibleBLAST_420
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4952427 - 11/18/05 06:09 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

i think that the nose is real


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: BLAST_420]
    #4952452 - 11/18/05 06:17 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

With the amazing advancements in Science nowadays, almost none of those "upgrades" are very far-fetched.

http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=4952455&page=0&vc=#Post4952455



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InvisibleBLAST_420
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4952463 - 11/18/05 06:20 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

i hope so cuz i want some of them


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OfflinePhanTomCat
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: lemon_lw]
    #4952486 - 11/18/05 06:32 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

lemon_lw said:
Quote:

PhanTomCat said:
You would have to make some kind of special straw, but where there is a will, there is a way....    :wink:




you could use the straw of of those sports bottles, you know which ones im talking about?




Yeah, fitted with a cork/rubber stopper....!
Which actually, a cork might come in handy if you have a cold, or want to go swimming...!?  :tongue:


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OfflinePhanTomCat
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4952491 - 11/18/05 06:33 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

SkorpivoMusterion said:
I'd be worried about insects flying up there. :crazy:




Naaa, just think ahead, and befriend a funnel spider....    :shocked:


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>^;;^<


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InvisibleBLAST_420
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: PhanTomCat]
    #4952541 - 11/18/05 06:51 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

what about those webbed hands? they look cool and they might be real, thing is id be worried about the skin riping


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OfflineMicrocosmatrix
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: BLAST_420]
    #4952549 - 11/18/05 06:55 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

looks like panty hose to me


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InvisibleBLAST_420
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: Microcosmatrix]
    #4952552 - 11/18/05 06:56 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

no, it looks photoshoped


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OfflineMicrocosmatrix
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: BLAST_420]
    #4952555 - 11/18/05 06:57 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

you could get the same effect with the pantyhose, cheaper too!


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InvisibleBLAST_420
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: Microcosmatrix]
    #4952560 - 11/18/05 06:58 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

There is no conqueror for you no more. Are you swimmer or diver? Change your approach to time ? now it flow slower. Just for you.
By manupulating with the N-DNA (neutral DNA cell) culture made by N-DNA Xlab the web has significantly reduced sensitivity than other tissues and with improoved SRF2 (Self Repai Function) it heals partial damage it self.
The upgrade involves also palm-shape change which enlarges the palm area about 25 % (without the webs).
When at rest the webs are hidden. Dispite of this the hand function could be affected so the webs are connected to the effloid ligamens (by evolution forgotten receptors in the brain, easily modificable for the new function with specified properties) which ensures prcise control of the hiding.


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OfflineDrink_Punk_Soda
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: BLAST_420]
    #4952566 - 11/18/05 07:00 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Heh- if the webs were "aftermarket parts" so to speak, they probably wouldn't transfer pain when they ripped.  But it would be weird, you couldn't use a pencil or chopsticks or anything else that uses the space between your fingers.  You'd be a hell of a swimmer though!  :grin:


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InvisibleLe_Canard
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: Edge]
    #4952570 - 11/18/05 07:03 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Edge said:
so is all this stuff reality or a hoax?




It's not real....


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OfflineTheDudeAbides
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: BLAST_420]
    #4952573 - 11/18/05 07:03 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

"N-DNA (neutral DNA cell)"

"(by evolution forgotten receptors in the brain, easily modificable for the new function with specified properties)"

Those 2 phrases just keep popping up - That's the reason this has to be fake..
In my oppinion atleast - All these descriptions sounds exactly the same with different names and numbers :shrug:


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outputrotation said:
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OfflineTheDudeAbides
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: TheDudeAbides]
    #4952575 - 11/18/05 07:04 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Ahhh Ha! I knew it was a rouse..


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outputrotation said:
x-com and unsolved mysteries are the only things that have ever made me truly scared


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InvisibleBLAST_420
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: TheDudeAbides]
    #4952606 - 11/18/05 07:13 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

well i agree that most of it is fake like the cunt with a tong in it, but i think that the nose and ears are most likly real



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InvisiblePsychonaught
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: TheDudeAbides]
    #4952609 - 11/18/05 07:14 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

I think it's all gay. But thats my opinion.


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InvisibleBLAST_420
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: Psychonaught]
    #4952617 - 11/18/05 07:16 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

so this is gay?



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InvisiblePsychonaught
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: BLAST_420]
    #4952618 - 11/18/05 07:16 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

BLAST_420 said:
well i agree that most of it is fake like the cunt with a tong in it, but i think that the nose and ears are most likly real






Most cunts eventualy have a tounge in them. So its a true concept anyhow.


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InvisibleBLAST_420
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: Psychonaught]
    #4952623 - 11/18/05 07:18 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

this is gay  :gaycrankey:



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InvisiblePsychonaught
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: BLAST_420]
    #4952626 - 11/18/05 07:18 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

BLAST_420 said:
so this is gay?






Actually I like this concept! Didn't see this pic till after.  :ass2mouth:


--------------------
"How could this poison be the dream of my soul...I let my fantasy take complete control." -Black Sabbath "megalomania"

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InvisibleBLAST_420
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: Psychonaught]
    #4952634 - 11/18/05 07:21 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

then youll love theese ideas





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InvisiblePsychonaught
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: BLAST_420]
    #4952644 - 11/18/05 07:23 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Blast...



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"How could this poison be the dream of my soul...I let my fantasy take complete control." -Black Sabbath "megalomania"

***************
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OfflinePhanTomCat
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Re: Human Upgrades [Re: BLAST_420]
    #4952871 - 11/18/05 08:22 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

BLAST_420 said:
what about those webbed hands? they look cool and they might be real, thing is id be worried about the skin riping





That or a paper-cut....    :shocked:


But on the bright side, you could prolly~ get employed as a human fan for some rich person....

Imagine the nice loud ~~SMACK~~ from smacking a chick's bare ass...!  :lol:


--------------------
I'll be your midnight French Fry....  :naughty:

"The most important things in life that are often ignored, are the things that one cannot see...."

>^;;^<


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