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Offlinebizmark
journeyman
Registered: 12/15/01
Posts: 58
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
dammit
    #492432 - 12/16/01 01:17 AM (14 years, 11 months ago)

I just wrote a long long post about something that's been on my mind for a long time, and I lost it all. I'm going to try to sum it up as shortly and succinctly as possible.

Also, I don't think this belongs in Spirituality and Philosophy, per se, but I also couldn't think of a better place for it and I didn't want to post it in Off Topic. So, please don't delete or move, I'll try to keep posts in their proper forums in the future.

I met a girl I never really noticed at school before. Now we're the best of friends, can't go a day without seeing or speaking to each other. Tried to form more than a friendship. I told her I loved her, or at least thought I loved her. She didn't feel the same way, was intimidated by me, apparently had been since before we actually knew each other, but at that point more than ever. Stayed friends, became better friends, she's no longer intimidated. I want to pursue a relationship, but am not sure if I should. I can't imagine anyone I would like to be with more than her. She says she may move back to Florida to live with her mother next year. I don't want her to leave. I want to go live with her somewhere and have everything be perfect. We knew from the start that things fall apart, but I want to preserve the present and add to it.

Sort of what I said before, but not entirely. Oh well.

What do you think about love? Is it possible for someone my age, 17, to experience love? Am I being irrational? I think of her in ways that I've never thought of anyone else. I want to be with her all the time and never let anything bad happen to her. When she's happy, I'm happy. I told her I loved her, and I don't know if I do or if it's even possible for me to experience love for someone right now. I'm too young to feel this way about anyone.


--------------------
baby, you got what i need
and you say he's just a friend


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Offlinethe universe
Harbinger ofEldritch Despair
Male

Registered: 03/11/99
Posts: 1,456
Loc: Under your bed
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: dammit [Re: bizmark]
    #492486 - 12/16/01 02:11 AM (14 years, 11 months ago)

Yes, it's possible to feel love at your age, sure. At that age you feel a whole shit load of strong feelings, sure. But let things happen naturally. And you should be sure that if adding a sexual dimension to the relationship doesn't work out that your friendship could withstand it because that's what's important. Since I don't know much more about the situation, I guess that's all I can say.


--------------------
"If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn't rub out even half the 'Fuck you' signs in the world."- J. D. Salinger


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InvisibleZeus
addict

Registered: 06/08/00
Posts: 187
Re: dammit [Re: bizmark]
    #492497 - 12/16/01 02:24 AM (14 years, 11 months ago)

go for it err. well don't if you don't want to feel a loss.

in h.s. i dated a girl for 2 yrs. but then she moved.
i was the most devistated person on earth, and never realy got over it. but eventually i moved on... to many an unsuccesful relationship
btw my old gf. now models :' (
oh, most people spell damnit with an "n"

good luck on
whatever you decide.


--------------------
" I'm somewhere where I don't know where I am. "

"Experience is the meaning to life" -me


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OfflineAmoeba665
strange
Registered: 05/24/00
Posts: 275
Loc: a hidden microutopia at t...
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
Re: dammit [Re: bizmark]
    #492615 - 12/16/01 05:38 AM (14 years, 11 months ago)

sounds like you're in love. also sounds like you don't have much of a choice. you should be decisive and go for it. it probably won't work and you'll probably end up experiencing an excruciating break-up that will stay with you for many moons. but maybe it won't, maybe you'll stay together forever. or maybe you'll both be in a good place when you break up and stay good friends forever. either way, i think its better to experience the relationship, and the pain that you wouldn't have felt otherwise, than to just think about how nice it would be to be together.


--------------------
---


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OfflineAmoeba665
strange
Registered: 05/24/00
Posts: 275
Loc: a hidden microutopia at t...
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
Re: dammit [Re: Amoeba665]
    #492617 - 12/16/01 05:41 AM (14 years, 11 months ago)

although looking at the post again, it seems like with her wanting to move to fl it may just be doomed to failure and maybe you're better off retaining a long-term friend instead of losing it for a short-term relationship?

what do i think about love? its real and its intense and it has downs to match the ups (every rose has its thorns) and it comes and goes just like everything else in life.


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---


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Offlinebizmark
journeyman
Registered: 12/15/01
Posts: 58
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
Re: dammit [Re: Amoeba665]
    #492732 - 12/16/01 11:38 AM (14 years, 11 months ago)

Ah...well...we'll see what happens.


--------------------
baby, you got what i need
and you say he's just a friend


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Offlinethe universe
Harbinger ofEldritch Despair
Male

Registered: 03/11/99
Posts: 1,456
Loc: Under your bed
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: dammit [Re: bizmark]
    #493181 - 12/16/01 09:19 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

It's better to regret something you did, than something you didn't do.


--------------------
"If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn't rub out even half the 'Fuck you' signs in the world."- J. D. Salinger


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OfflineBrokedownPalace
addict

Registered: 12/13/01
Posts: 528
Loc: WA state
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
Re: dammit [Re: bizmark]
    #493316 - 12/16/01 11:40 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

I agree with Amoeba's thoughts on love at the end of post. But I recomend for you to take the chance and try to make a relationship work. Ive got to keep this short because my computer also is a bitch and kicks me off every time I try to write anything of substance.
I once lost a girl that was everything I wanted. She possesed every quality that I could ever want in a girl. The only reason our relationship didnt elevate to more than a freinds level (except for a few occasions) was because I didnt pursue it and make it happen with the fear of losing her as a freind. I came to find out, unfortunately too late, that she would also have liked to take our relationship further. She is still one of my best freinds, but I do regret not pursuing a relationship because I really believe things would have worked out with her. The biggest regrets are truely the things that you dont do. Also if you do hook up with her and she likes you anything close to what it sounds you feel for her, there is a very good chance she would not move. I know how much controle emotions have over people your age. Ive been there. You should give it a go. If you started out as freinds, you will most likely stay freinds even if things dont work out. I am still on freindly basis with every girl that I have dated that I actually cared about. I think that if you truly care for her you will also find the same to be true in the end. Youve got to take the chance. Concidering this has been on your mind for a time, you will regret it for much longer if you dont take the chance. Its better to know than to always wonder what might have been. The best of luck. I really hope you can make it work. Peace


--------------------
IM A DRUG NERD

that made sence... right?


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General Interest >> Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology

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