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InvisibleMoonshoe
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questions for the aging
    #4865341 - 10/28/05 09:54 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

hey hey

im 18 and just kind of drunk and thinking about life.

i was wondering for any of you who are older than me, like in your 30s 40s 50s whatever, even 25 or what not, how do you feel about the progression of your life since you were a teenager?

was high school the best time of your life? college? have things gotten better or worse in terms of happiness, and why?

what did you see yourself doing/being when you were 18, and how have those expectations fleshed out?


and also, if you could send one message of advice to yourself, back in time so to speak, to yourself when you were 18, what would it be?


in other words, what advice would you give your past self, with the benefit of your present knowledge?

i dont know if that made sense.

answer me, fogies

jk

:stoned:


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Everything I post is fiction.

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Offlinekosmic_charlie
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Re: questions for the aging [Re: Moonshoe]
    #4865397 - 10/28/05 10:06 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

Good post. I'm not that old, nearing 25 but I find myself contemplating my own mortality more and more with each passing day. But to be honest I also feel more accepting and optimistic towards the idea of death with each passing day. Not that I'm in a hurry to die, I just see it more and more as a passing rather than an end. What's really difficult though is seeing my loved ones getting older and knowing that I will have to eventually lose them. It's hard enough just seeing my dog age much less my parents. I've been thinking about this a lot especially with the coming of winter. The seasons are so symbolic of the human condition it's not even funny.

When I was 18 I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and I'm the same way at 25.

If I could give my past self any advice it would be to enjoy your youth while you can because it will pass by at a seemingly exponential rate.


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Goin' where the water tastes like wine.

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InvisibleCaptainH13
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Re: questions for the aging [Re: kosmic_charlie]
    #4865428 - 10/28/05 10:18 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

mine:

well it's gone in every direction youcan imagine...

good times and bad times...and worse times..and worse times...ohh did i say worse times?...

but the good times where life changingly good.



did that answer your question?haha

the one thing i'll give me self,i've always had a very "old soul" or whatever tey call it..always said to be wise well beyond my years..and all that Jazz..


so i think i turned out pretty good,little poor but pretty good,haha..


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InvisibletrendalM
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Re: questions for the aging [Re: kosmic_charlie]
    #4865435 - 10/28/05 10:24 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

kosmic_charlie said:
When I was 18 I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and I'm the same way at 25.




When I was 18 I thought I had a great idea of what I wanted in life. Now that I'm almost 25, I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life :smirk:


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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.

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InvisibleBoom
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Re: questions for the aging [Re: Moonshoe]
    #4865489 - 10/28/05 10:38 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

I'm 21 now... I'm in a class with mostly freshmen (its a Gen Ed course..needed for graduation) and I heard these girls talking about their roommate... "She's going out with (some guy) and he's old...he's like 21." :lol:

Yeah I mean I've changed a lot since high school.  I still don't know what I want to do in life, but I have definetly matured a lot.  The only thing I would change would be a few stupid choices female-wise...other than that, "I regret nothinnnggggggggggg............" splat

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InvisibleGnuBobo
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Re: questions for the aging [Re: Moonshoe]
    #4865602 - 10/28/05 11:10 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

I'm still figuring things out and by no means have a handle on anything.

But I'd go back and bitchsmack myself when I was 18--I'd get that hippie bullshit commielove out of me faster.  But I guess you've just got to get that out of yourself over time. 

Look to people that have things relatively settled here.  No fads--just experience.  Y'know--the ol' folks.  :wink:


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Jerry Garcia. JERRY GARCIA! JERRY GARCIA!!!!

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OfflineBrugman
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Re: questions for the aging [Re: Moonshoe]
    #4865621 - 10/28/05 11:20 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

I'm not that much older, I'm 21.. but it feels like I've grown alot since I was 18. Got a good job, moved outta my parent's house and into a house with a few friends. Being away from parents, in my opinion, allows one to grow exponentially. I feel I've become more.. myself, a more unique person. No facades to put up, etc.

I know life's gonna be full of some shitty experiences and periods.. but I'll welcome them. I'll learn from them, and I'll move on.

I can't wait.. yet I enjoy where I am.

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OfflineCherk
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Re: questions for the aging [Re: GnuBobo]
    #4865746 - 10/29/05 12:04 AM (18 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

GnuBobo said:
I'm still figuring things out and by no means have a handle on anything.

But I'd go back and bitchsmack myself when I was 18--I'd get that hippie bullshit commielove out of me faster.  But I guess you've just got to get that out of yourself over time. 

Look to people that have things relatively settled here.  No fads--just experience.  Y'know--the ol' folks.  :wink:




Just curious, why is the "hippie commie love" bullshit to you now?


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I have considered such matters.

SIKE

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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: questions for the aging [Re: Moonshoe]
    #4865871 - 10/29/05 12:44 AM (18 years, 5 months ago)

Smart question! Goes to show how mature you are to even ask it at your age. Learning from other peoples mistakes is a smart thing to do.

I'm 37. I'll note some considerations based on the lot of my age group that I have grown with, and what they would say, all being between 30-45. Forgive me if I sound like your parents, but if they have said any of this, they had a reason for it. They care a lot about you and don't want to see you struggling later in life.

College degree. Masters is preferable. Anyone I know in my age group with out at least the college degree regrets it. Those with it wish they went for their Masters and many are now.

Save your money best you can. Even if you sock 10% of your pay away, you'll be glad you did.

Be careful with stocks and diversify investments.

If you are going to be in the same area for at least three years and can get a low to no down payment loan on a condo or town home, do that instead of pissing away your money on rent. Get a two bed room and rent one to a friend and his rent will pay half your mortgage -he he. Many monthly mortgage payments are cheaper then rent is and you can build equity and credit as well.

Don't get sucked up into the credit card "buy now pay later" trap!-Thats a BIGGY!

If you have a good relationship with your parents and they respect your freedom, privacy and adulthood, live with them for as long as you can, while you work, go to school and SAVE what you would pay being on your own. You'll have plenty of time to "play house" up the road and wish you had someone else paying the mortgage, and bills.

Get your partying and dating out of your system while you are YOUNG!

TRAVEL with every opportunity you can get or make, before settling into career or family.

Establish a hardy network of personal/professional resources to call on for when you are looking for a Career position. That's so vital these days too.

Don't even consider marriage unless you want to raise a family. Put it off until at least age 26. Something changes around age 26/27 for most. By then, you have enough experience behind you and have gone through some pivotal value changes to have a better idea of what you want for the longer haul.

Those would be the most common ones you would hear from my age group. Money/Resources and the ability to generate it become a prime focus in your late 20s if it wasn't before.

Some go their own way and don't do any of those things and somehow pull it off well. They are the few and rare. Some bounce back up well from failures and mistakes better then others. I don't want to argue over any of them. Just giving you what many in my age group would say they would have taken more seriously in their late teens and early twenties.


As far as your "was high school the hay days?" question. Many like me have MANY hay day chapters in life. They are just made up of different people, scape's and values that made them them all the great to look back on in their own way. Some quiet chapters for reflection are expected and good to experience too.

There are changes I would make, only if I could go back now with the memory and knowledge of all I have accumulated since. I followed MY heart and soul and have no regrets.


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Ahuwale ka nane huna.

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OfflineAsTroNoMic_ChAoS
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Re: questions for the aging [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #4865909 - 10/29/05 01:00 AM (18 years, 5 months ago)

ah..good advice gettinjiggy heh.I'm 21 and put much thought into your words.Geh im really bad with money...I really need to start saving hmm.


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InvisibleRipple
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Re: questions for the aging [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #4866453 - 10/29/05 07:56 AM (18 years, 5 months ago)

Great reply to a very good post!

I'm 47 and agree with everything that was said above!

I can't put enough emphasis on one thing though! Make sure you find yourself a great women, not just a good one a great one! It makes all the difference, i have seen many relationships flourish and die around me and it's ugly. I am a very lucky man though I found the one!

Do I think about the fact that my life is more in the past than in the future, sure I do but I don't dwell on it, every day is a good day and I'm thankful for every laugh, every breath, every sunrise! :heart:

Much love


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The bus came by and I got on that's when it all began!


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OfflineKidShelleen
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Re: questions for the aging [Re: Moonshoe]
    #4866489 - 10/29/05 08:30 AM (18 years, 5 months ago)

Dude, that is one helluva good question.  I'm an old guy (40) and I am very happy with my life, so I guess I am somewhat qualified to answer.

I had a great time in High School, a better time in college, and life has just gotten better (with the inevitable ups and downs) over time.

I think my advice to myself as a young man (generalized to apply to any young man) would fall into three categories:

1. There are some fuck-ups that can't be undone (or are VERY hard to undo) - avoid them;

2. There are some positive things that are easier to get done and behind you when you are young (especially if you have supportive parents) - do them; and

3. There are some positive things that take a long time to develop - pick some out and get started.

In category one, I would list a few things. 

    Don't kill or injure yourself driving drunk,
    Don't start smoking,
    Use sunscreen,
    Don't impregnate anyone,
    Don't get busted,
    Don't alienate your parents if possible,
    Don't be mean or thoughtless with people's feelings,
    When in doubt about a course of action, choose the course that leaves open the most options.

In category two the biggest item is education.  Sure, you can go to college or trade school anytime, but it is easier when you are young.  When you get older it is harder.  You don't learn as fast and you don't have as much energy.  This is especially true if your parents are willing to help you.  You will almost never get another chance to have someone support you while you go to school.  Take it!  And don't fuck it up.  Have fun, but take care of business too.  If you wait until your parents will no longer help you and you have a kid or two you need to support, you can pretty much forget about it.  There are exceptional people who get an education late in life while working to support themselves and kids, but it is HARD.  Most people can't do it.  Don't put yourself in the position where you have to do it the hard way.

Education is one of those things that always opens up more options.  It may turn out that you never use your education directly - but you are never worse off for having it.

in the third category, putting away money was already mentioned.  This is GREAT advice.  If you start saving some money early and get in the habit, it's like starting a snowball down a huge mountain.  By the time you get to be middle age, you will be able to choose what you want to do.  If you wait until you are middle age, you will have to scramble.  You will have to work until you are old and then live on too little when you retire. When you are young it is easy to live on little.  You can sleep on the floor, you don't need much medical care, you have plenty of energy to walk or ride a bike where you need to go.  Not so when you get old.  Being poor when you are old sucks.  Start saving early and you won't have that problem.

The other thing in this category will require a little more foresight on your part.  There are many skills that a person can acquire that will give them enjoyment in life but that take time to develop.  A musical instrument, for example.  Or a physical skill like a martial    art.  Or meditation.  These things take years to master, one day at a time.  The earlier you start, the sooner you can enjoy your mastery.

Good luck!

KS :heart:


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"Who would be free themselves must strike the blow" -Lord Byron

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OfflineXUL
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Re: questions for the aging [Re: Ripple]
    #4866495 - 10/29/05 08:35 AM (18 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

I can't put enough emphasis on one thing though! Make sure you find yourself a great women, not just a good one a great one! It makes all the difference, i have seen many relationships flourish and die around me and it's ugly. I am a very lucky man though I found the one!





Im young, but that sounds like a biggy


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TRUMP 2020

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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: questions for the aging [Re: XUL]
    #4866711 - 10/29/05 10:36 AM (18 years, 4 months ago)

ok you guys absolutely rule. thank you for all your great advice. I will take much of it to heart.

now id like to make a part 2... where i tell you my current life plan and you guys help me by giving me your advise on it. Im not saying ill take it, but again i value the wisdom of your experience. I suspect ill sound really silly and idealistic and hippy to some of you but thats fine.

First off let me say: i am desperate to avoid the kind of life that most people lead. not because i think that life is wrong or bad, but because i think it is wrong for me.

my initial premise is this: life is a sacred opportunity that is singular and fleeting, aka. there is no good reason not to do whatever you truly deeply want to do... you wont ever have another chance to do it. I feel like we all have a unique soul/personality and the only real purpose of life is the fullest possible fufillment/manifestation of that potential personality you know what i mean? just being who we truly are, to the max.

what i want to avoid is working a majority of my day or spending a majority of my energy in the process of working for money. i value time infinitely more than money. I feel like i dont need anything much other than say: a place to sleep, food, water, books, and a hackey sack, maybe a paint brush and paper to stay happy, materially.

instead of purusing the path of increasing effort for increasing material rewards (working 8 or 9 hours and overtime and really busting ass for career advancement and paydays) what i want is to simplify my needs. instead of a philosophy of fufilling desires, i want to follow one of reducing them. Find a way to work just enough to subsist securely, then fill me time with things like meditation, reading, exploring, walking, painting, etc... things that are inwardly satisfying but essentially free.

Thats what i want to do. maintain my freedom. I know thats going to be hard. But i see the obligation to work most of your day to be a sacrafice of freedom.

so how would this look in practice?

heres my plan. please advise.

step 1: finish my first year of university (im enrolled now) and graduate with good marks. Remain on good terms with my parents and actually improve our relationship continuously. Save almost all of my paychecks for this period of time. reduce partying, drug use and money blowing. Continue to work out and develop myself during this preperation period.

ALso during this period: take a tesol class (teaching english to speakers of other languages) and language classes (spanish probably)

step 2: Travel. First i will travel to this amazing school that i visited in costa rica. Let me give you the rundown. the school starts at kindergarten and goes all the way through grade 12. all teachers are bilingual so the kids grow up fluent in both english and spanish. best of all: the school is IN the rainforest (called cloud forest to be specific) which is absolutely gorgeous. like this school is located inside a rain forest, it is entirely self sufficient and solar powerd, progressive and amazing, the classrooms have all glass walls that look out into breathtaking natural beauty.

the kids study nature stewardship from k through 12, learning to take care of the forest, heal injured plants and animals, and all kinds of crazy shit. guitar classes, yoga and meditation are all parts of their curriculum.

in other words is just an incredible place, and they are desperate for english speaking volunteers. with my fluency in english, basics in spanish, and tesol degree, id be a shoe in. so id go down there and teach for say a year while exploring costa rica and the rainforest. they would pay my room and board.

Then , depending on how i felt, i would continue to travel for maybe a nother year or two, just raoming. everywhere i go i can look for jobs teaching english, and should be able to find some to help finance my trips as i go. Other financing would be on my savings. also, my parents have set aside 11 000 dollars in a trust fund for me and each of my siblines (we each have our own) which is amazing of them and i love them forever.

My brother spent his whole sum traveling the world, which im sure was amazing except when it runs out ... your kind of fucked. so my plan is to go almost entirely on my own savings, taking maybe 2000 out from that amount to travel with.

Anyways... after a few years of traveling , living as cheaply and simply as possible , seeking out either teaching work or volunteer work that pays room and board... i will move on to phase 3

phase 3: after lots of research , i will find a monastary, yes a buddhist or taoism monastary, where i am given food and shelter for free, in a beutifull natural environment, where i spend all day every day in meditation, doing yoga and tai chi, and maybe reading. even if i need to pay a small sum for food and such i will do it. then i will remain in the monastary for as long as i feel, hopefully 6 months to a year. btw this would probably mean moving from south/central america where i would begin my trip, to asia. I would also take time here to study martial arts with the masters.

then where does that leave me? well, heres why i think this is a good idea

1. you only get one life, so live it as intensly and uniquely and daringly as you can. To me that means traveling the globe, to strange new places alone, and even trying to find enlightenment, whatever that really means. its just about taking chances and living my dreams, and for me , those are my dreams.

2. i feel that after these experiences, i will be much more able to decide what i really want the rest of my life to be about. i feel like if you stay in one place in one society, your ideas and options are so limited. you need the diversity of experience to plan your future.

so anyways, that is my plan so far... call it a 4 year plan.

im working towards it. saving my money and such.

please give me advise on this., or criticism or whatever. i wont be offended.

:sun:


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.

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Invisiblebadchad
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Re: questions for the aging [Re: Moonshoe]
    #4866811 - 10/29/05 11:27 AM (18 years, 4 months ago)

Just to pop into this thread, I'm 26 and I've learned not to view aging as a negative thing. Like most have said, the older you get, the more you learn about yourself. It sounds corny, but with age comes wisdom. The older I get the more confident I get with my life decisions: things such as what I want out life, where I'm going etc.

As far as your plan is concerned I don't think it's a bad idea. However, realize that you'll be changing a lot in the next few years and your plans may change accordingly.

My personal advice is similar to an earlier poster: get a college degree. WHy? because it will increase your chances of employment immensly and is a good safety net.

I don't disagree with your desire to live a somewhat minimalist life (only needing a paper, a hackey sack and a roof over your head). However, keep in mind, that this may not be ideal when your in your 30's. Like it or not, raising a family takes resources and sometimes you need to give in to "life's rat race".

Other than that it's a good plan. I'd just encourage you to have that degree to fall back on if you do realize you wsnt some financial security.


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...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge.  It is an indellible experience; it is forever known.  I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did.

Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

Osmond, H.  Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436

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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: questions for the aging [Re: badchad]
    #4866826 - 10/29/05 11:32 AM (18 years, 4 months ago)

"Like it or not, raising a family takes resources and sometimes you need to give in to "life's rat race".

yeah... thats why i hope to avoid raising a family at all costs. not that i dont love kids,  i do... but i really hope i never get that urge to have any of my own.

THis is another thing most people will have a hard time understanding:

in my ideal life, i would never get married and never have kids. moreover i would be totally happy that way. Of course the biological clock is ticking and can make you crazy but i hope to avoid that.

i find the idea of total codependence and emotional reliance on another person scary as hell. what if your wife died? or left you? and just i dunno its another sacrafice of freedom.

romantic love is the worlds most dangerous high. ive only tripped on it once and the hangover lasted just under a year.

:frown:


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Everything I post is fiction.

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Invisiblegoobler
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Re: questions for the aging [Re: Moonshoe]
    #4866855 - 10/29/05 11:43 AM (18 years, 4 months ago)

dominate all

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Invisiblebadchad
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Re: questions for the aging [Re: Moonshoe]
    #4866856 - 10/29/05 11:43 AM (18 years, 4 months ago)

Okay, but like I said, you have to realize that you will likely be going through a lot of changes in the next few year (in terms f life outlook and what you want out of life). I know that for me personally, I'm nearly a completely different person than I was 8 years ago (when I was 18).

Or....think of it another way men routinely have children when well in their 30's. At 36 you may change your mind about a family (and also think, thats TWICE as long as you've been alive currently:)).

There's no right or wrong answer to your life plans, just realize that they more than likely will change. I think it's good to have a plan, just allow yourself some "wiggle room".


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...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge.  It is an indellible experience; it is forever known.  I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did.

Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

Osmond, H.  Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436

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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: questions for the aging [Re: Moonshoe]
    #4867524 - 10/29/05 04:00 PM (18 years, 4 months ago)

(Forgive the length. I've grown fond of moonshoe in S&P and care about people in general and this is a great topic and I have 37 years of life experience to share.)

I remember 18, 22, 26, like yesterday and I still relate to being idealistic, yet I was FORCED into getting realistic too.

At 18, I remember thinking that all those people who busted balls in college and saving money were suckers buying into the trap. I use to say stupid shit like, "why save money and invest my time in school? I could get hit by a bus tomorrow. I am going to live for today!:grin: Dumbest crap that ever came out of my mouth!

I remember thinking that I could carve my own paths and DO IT BETTER. Hahaha I thought that me as an 18 year old in the year 1986 somehow, "knew something" all of the peoples of history before me hadn't figured out-living for today. I'd show them! Enjoy the delusion of 18 ahhhhhhhhh! It fades!

Suffice it to say, though I had experiences and adventures you can't put a price on and enough fun for 40 peoples full lives, I was one of the ones scrambling to get it together and play catch up in my late 20's and early 30s and that SUCKED!!! HARD!!!!It would've been so much easier when I was younger to get it together.  THEY were right. THEY, the elders knew THE something that only time can teach.

It's about money, then Love and safe good times. Without having the money FIRST, financial pressures will CRUSH love and good times without back up dough, lead to TROUBLE.

You hear me talk of fantastical things in S&P and thats because, NOW, I have the money to do so. If I didn't, my ass would be working like a mo-fo and I wouldn't have time to be falalaing on a message board. I can only be here at 37 as much as I am because, I gave in and got it together at some point. Thats EXACTLY what the 'aging" who can afford to post here as much as they do all did. They got it together financially sooner or later.

Your plan? Your only 18, and I did say get your travel in. I see no prob with the Costa Rica adventure and you've said your parents will pay for college elsewhere. Is that in addition to the 11,000 trust? If your college has to come out of that, woaahhhhhhh. Back to the drawing board to restrategize your plan.

The monastery will be a TOTAL waste if you think your time there will bring clarity to what it is you want from life and help you move back on into it. Only LIVING life out in the world and accumulating experiences with other people and dynamics and fields and trying out different ways to get by in the world will best tell you what you do and don't want from life.

A monastery won't provide that vital experimental trial and error experience.

My cousin flaked and joined a cloistered nunnery at 18. By 22, things changed and she wanted OUT. She lost vital years of living and learning and married the first guy she fell in love with (who didn't have a degree) when she got out and is miserable with him and two boys to raise and she has no college degree. She is 43 now and withdrawn and sad. She use to be so out going, charismatic full of life and the one with all the great ideas and center of fun and good times and a smart A student. The nunnery/monastery didn't help her to find her spirit, IT KILLED IT. It didn;t help her to know what she wanted and didn;t because there was no realife experimenting and trial and erring happening for her to learn that from.

Not to say marriage and kids are not great. They are when you have MONEY, dated enough to know what you want in a "life partner" -"brains, heart and ability to make money if need be", someone who others respect and admire and got partying out of your system and make sure they got partying and dating out of their system too.

When I was 18-26 I never wanted to have children. Well, thats one of the value changes a lot of people go through up the road. When you meet a right certain someone, you start to want it. When you get tired of living selfishly for yourself, you start to want to give of yourself. Partying and living for the self no longer fulfills ones soul or spirit after a while. It's living in vain and grows empty over time.

My life, the life that has real meaning about what truly matters BEGAN the day my daughter was born. She has been my greatest guide and teacher.

Because that change happens for many, you'll wish, you would've gotten your financial act together by then otherwise, you and your new love life partner, will be under to much financial pressure to make it and forget raising kids without dough.

If you have to work 2 jobs, you won't be the ones raising your kids anyway. The daycare workers and baby sitters will be. Or you and your spouse will be taking turns while the other works and you won't be doing it as a couple. I've watched so many disasters happen around me in that area to friends and family.

Check this, when you are 22 and living with whats in your back pack with surf board under arm squatting with other young ins you are sooooooo coooooooool. Do that when you are 40 and you are just a BUMB fuck up Looser in the eyes of those around you.

When you are 18-26, you can eat like shit, sleep like shit and abuse the fuck out of yourself and you're fine.

After that, something called Health Care enters the picture in life. Taking proper care of your health starts to cost extra time, care and MONEY. The body and mind can't handle the pace of the young ins partying ways so well and pulls back from it. Then what are you going to do with yourself and time? Scramble to get your financial act together the HARD way and settle down.

Moon, can you work out a plan where you have at least a college degree by age 26?

Can you work out a plan where you have at least $30,000 in the bank or liquid investments by age 26?

Can you work out a travel plans that exposes you to MANY diverse people and ways of life so you will know better which you like and which you don't before you foolishly commit to one for the long haul.

Can you be okay just taking time to meditate or having a hobby instead of joining a monastery. The monostaic life should be viewed as a life long commitment and not taking as a time out. It'll suck all the steam and passion you had for life out of you and when you come out, you'll get clobbered.

When I went back to Chicago for a while after being in the mellow islands and lost my edge I felt clobbered. People would be moving around me so fast and they were tough and they had an edge and I couldn't I had a hard time getting it back and never fully did. I went to far off into the ether of spirit when I was in Kauai.

Thats why I say a monostaic life should be treated as a life long commitment to a way of life. Once you pass the threshold, there is no going back. My husband is the one with the tough edge and ability to keep speed to keep us thriving financially. Don't go to far into the realms of non matter unless your plan is to stay there for good.

Another consideration for when you leave your home town and travel around. You loose contacts. Your friends get married and settled in. You come back in your late 20s and no one is free to play with you anymore and they hang out with other married people with kids now.

You never networked so you have no resources for getting established. Disastrous. Keep in touch with those you leave behind, Don't burn bridges and don't give off the impression that you don't care about their way off life and thumb your nose to it now.

When you'll need them to care about the messes you've made, they may say, "I told you so, deal with and fix it yourself smart boy who knows it all." Those who spent the time to get their act together will have lost respect for you and may turn their backs on you later in life. That includes Family and your Parents. 

People have little sympathy, patience or energy to care for 30-40 year old fuck ups.

Ever hear people talk about how cold, harsh and cruel reality is? Thats what they are talking about and they are probably 30 year old plus fuck ups.

Being a drop out fuck up around 22, you'd find many people around that age and younger who think you are sooooooo cool for it and you'll still find people to support you. Being a fuck up at 30 or 40, you'd find most everyone thinks you are a pathetic looser who missed the boat and good luck finding anyone to help and support you at that age.

Like someone here said, keep your relationship with your parents as good and close and strong as you can. You will end up needing and appreciating them in ways later on you can't even imagine now.

I understand where your coming from and your ideals. I'm still an idealist making poor choices sometimes. For me leaving the material world to find myself and get clarity was my time leaving Chicago at age 25 for the virgin islands. I got to know a more non materialistic simple slower pace and way and hooked up with the best soul group yet of all my hay day chapters. I found myself, got clarity, my center and what was real and what wasn't.

Just wish I would've done it at your age and didn't get so far behind and have to play financial cleanup and recovery and get established so late in life. I'm calling 29 late in life to start getting financially established. Better late then never. I'm living large now and loving life and to be free of financial stress and pressure is sooooo sweet. Great times behind me and the best is yet to come.

I can't work on your plan much without knowing if college is suppose to come out of that trust fund. If your plan doesn't include getting a college degree in demand by age 26, with money socked away, it's a high risk plan in my opinion. I didn't have a plan and that was the riskiest of all. However, I knew my strengths and weakness's I got back up for my weakness and banked on my strengths to pull me through.

I knew from early on I could innovate and create my way out of the tightest jams and having the looks of a runway fashion model, street smarts and strong people skills to turn on at will, I could afford to take high risks.

Know your strengths and weakness and incorporate them into your plans.

To the general young reader, if you are poor at getting yourself out of jams and lack people skills and confidence, you need a strong financial plan to make it in your later years.

From the heart of my experiences! :heart: I love you moonshoe! :kiss:
If your smart enough to even think to be looking ahead and for life planning advise now, you'll be okay. :thumbup:


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Ahuwale ka nane huna.

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InvisibleMoonshoe
Blue Mantis
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Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
Re: questions for the aging [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #4867813 - 10/29/05 05:51 PM (18 years, 4 months ago)

thank you all and jiggy especially. I love you too, in all the ways one internet persona can love another. youve been a true friend and mentor in my life and i apreciate it. One thing that is beutifull about the internet is that their is no physical prejudice. your one of the few 40+ people ive been priveleged to enjoy a real relationship with. So many people are automatically suspicious or downright scared of a bigr 6'3 male teenager, and the baggy pants and pot stink dont help either... its a shame though

so heres my "plan" based on my thoughts and your advice

1. take it one day at a time, moment by moment

2. take my time to finish school, keeping it at a level that is not too stressfull, but always do well at what  i do. in other words take it slow but put in the effort to do well.

3. maintain and improve all relationships, especially parental. other people are the greatest resource. im especially glad that ive been so good on my parents because when it comes down to it they make it all possible for me.

4. travel, but pay for it myself. Thats the big one i think. If i can finance my own adventures, i can count on my parents to help me get my degree. hands off the trust fund, thats the plan. My parents have high hopes for me to be the "kid who did the university thing" because my older siblings havent and ive done really well in school.

5. maintain health on all levels. Im not a big drug abuser or heavy drinker. i dont smoke and i eat very well. i exercise. i figure if i can keep all that up, than thats half the battle.

6. no monastary early in life. new plan: live, adventure, explore, do yoga and martial arts and meditate and pray, and if at 40, or 50, or 60 i still want to try the monastary thing, then i can

7. always work, but dont work too much. thats my plan. work, get used to working, learn to enjoy it, but dont let it take over my life.

8. save money. thats a big key, and im working on it. im getting close to having my first thousand saved. not a big deal for you, but significant for me. and i made that money on minimum wage, so thats good. i have friends who throw around that much on an average night, but they made it dealing and taking risks id rather avoid, so im not jealous. However, travel is real expensive, and im not sure how ill manage to both save money and travel...

9. keep my eyes on the goal of krishna/christ conciousness/satori. always on that goal as the final, ultimate goal. "Even in the last hour of life a man can attain god" -baghavad gita. but how much easier if you know where you headed at 18...

10. go with the flow. remember that all your pain is an illusion. try to conquer your desires and live simply. Love always. thank god for the blue sky. etc. etc. etc. admit your mistakes. learn from them. Keep hope. Remain optimistic. lol.. the list goes on.

so here goes...

into the great wide open

a rebel without a clue...

:tongue2:


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Everything I post is fiction.

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OfflineKidShelleen
watch thesensations
Registered: 09/20/04
Posts: 88
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
Re: questions for the aging [Re: Moonshoe]
    #4867876 - 10/29/05 06:09 PM (18 years, 4 months ago)

Some random comments:

I agree that if your plan involves losing the opportunity to get a formal education while being supported by your folks, change your plan.  You are throwing away one of life's greatest opportunities - an opportunity not available to one in a thousand people on this planet.

Traveling while you are young is a good thing (unless you lose important opportunities as a result) but if you think you are going to spend the rest of your life "walking the earth" you had better find a way to make money doing it or you will not be welcome.

You don't need to go to Asia, or to any monastery, to learn to meditate.  Often a trip to a foreign land to begin a spiritual quest is actually a flight away from the here and now which is where ALL real spiritual quests begin and end.  Start your spiritual journey now.

If you think that life in a monastery is all about leisurely contemplation, you might want to check again.  Most monks work a full day and live far more regimented lives than most American workers.

Having a good companion in life is a great joy.  Having children      is also a wonderful thing.  Like most things of value, they require some sacrifice and involve some heartache.  Those are things you cannot avoid in this life if you want to truly live it.  The key to deep joy in life is giving to those you love, not taking for yourself.

A short primer on the way the world economy works: people will only voluntarily give you the things you need (like food, a bed, clothes, medical care, etc.) in exchange for something of value you can give them in return.  You must provide something of value to your fellow man if you hope to get in return the necessities of life, let alone the luxuries.  Find something that people are willing to pay you for that you like to do and do it.  If you plan to drift and forage your whole life I promise you that you WILL ultimately end up working at the rottenest jobs the world has to offer because you will not have honed your ability to give value to society in exchange for your keep.  It WILL suck.  And it WILL be really hard to get yourself into a better position.  I will repeat what I said before, and what others have said - it's easy to live on next to nothing when you are young, but it is not easy to do that when you are old.

Of course there have been a handful of artists, poets, musicians, sages and others who have marched to a different drummer, lived full lives, and died old and happy.  But for every wanderer who has died happy, there are ten thousand who have died alone and uncomfortable on a cot in a Christian Mission somewhere on skid row.

In sum, plan on a life of working at some kind of job.  Plan on falling in love with people and wanting to support them and make them happy.  Plan on getting old, weak and sick.  If you pretend you can have a life without these things, you will regret it.

By the way, I typed in that I am 40 but I am actually 49.  A little wishful thinking on the part of my fingers I guess.  Not that I care about being younger, but I WOULD like an extra ten years of life.  Cuz I am enjoying it.

KS  :heart:


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"Who would be free themselves must strike the blow" -Lord Byron

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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
jiggy
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Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
Loc: Heart of Laughter
Re: questions for the aging [Re: Moonshoe]
    #4868370 - 10/29/05 09:11 PM (18 years, 4 months ago)

Moon! Big Smiles. Your new plan is a nice blend and balance of idealistic and realistic and better placement timing of goals. Good stuff in that one!:thumbup: (I'm 37 not 40+) every year counts at my age! :lol:

And I totally agree with everything the last poster said too. That was funny, you're really 49 and said 40. I hear ya!:lol:

Mostly glad you took to heart what I said about using monasteries as a temporary thing moon. Reaclimating and being able to function well when you get out will not be worth it. All for it if you are prepared to commit to staying in until you die. Entering at age 50 is a better choice if you still will even want to by then and I bet you won't by then either.

About the material world. You can enjoy it all you want. The key is not to attach possessions to your identity and sense of self worth. Every day ask yourself, if I lost it all tomorrow, the stuff, titles, people connections, would I be okay?

Secondly, just think twice before taking on more goods, status titles or higher paying work. Ask yourself if you are prepared to manage the extra responsibility. Ask yourself if the trade off is worth it. Thats all.

Would I love a bigger buffer home then the one I already have? Suuuure, no wait, bigger and more expensive isnt always better. Do I want to work harder or pay someone to take care of one that big? Not at this point, mine is perfect for now! Ask the right questions going into things and you will be able to keep your center and balance and not get sucked in and stressed out. :heart:


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Ahuwale ka nane huna.

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