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I'm so confused right now. I'm 16 years old. I've been doing various drugs for a while. (Mainly Ecstasy) I've never done them every often and I'm not one of the people who needs drugs to have fun. They're just an experience for me. I started doing mushrooms a while ago and I just finished my 3rd trip. As strange as it sounds, I've never had a bad trip, but at the end of every experience, usually somewhere mid-way through my trip, I decide I never want to do drugs ever again. This time I was at a rave. I've been heavily into trance for a long time, but I had never actually gone to a rave. I took a look around and all I saw were people fucked out of their minds on whatever drugs they had taken (me being one of them). None of them seemed to care about the music or being social at all. It's just all kind of depressing for me, because it seems people HAVE to be fucked up to enjoy themselves. I have no idea why I'm posting this, I just feel like getting it off my chest. I saw the most beautiful things and felt absolutely wonderful, but just felt so sad about all those people around me, having no comprehension of reality at all. Mind you, I was having around a level 3-4 trip, but at least if I focused I could bring myself back to earth to actually hold up a conversation. But then I also started thinking about the 60's (or was it the 70's) with the whole hippy movement in the states. They did care about the music and they did care about eachother. Maybe I'm just seeing the rave scene in the wrong light. This one was a very commercial rave, so maybe not everyone is like this. But the difference is that back then, they had their heroes. Hendrix and others. (Can't think of them because that style of music isn't something I really enjoy) But nowadays we have 100's of DJs and no one really cares who they are at all . . . . UGGGGHHHH!!!!
Help me set my mind straight, or something, I'm not really asking for advice, I just want to start a discussion so I can find out what's going on in my head right now.
I know how you feel. Raves nowadays are NOT recommended settings for spiritual trips. You must find the right party to do this, and there arent that many. I dont want to generalise but most of the time the dj's are in it for the ego, the organisations for the money, the people for the opportunity to go ballistic on excess quantities of dope. There is no spirit there, nor 'should' there be of course. Everyone is free to do what they want, its a free will universe. Some people look for this, other people look for that. But dont go to raves expecting to find enlightenment, for there is nothing there except what you experience in it yourself.
I hope you do stumble onto a true psychedelic gathering sometime, it can be really powerfull and majickal, mindaltering and soultransforming. Just hold true to your own source and dont let what other people are doing or not doing destract you from it.
-------------------- Thought is born blind but Mind knows what is Seeing
Re: What am I doing to myself? Where am I going? [Re: Enlightened] #485220 - 12/09/01 06:32 PM (16 years, 4 months ago)
You have recognized that there is more to life than what meets the eye. You are taking a peek through the veil of illusion.
Take pride in the things you learn and experience!
Be confident in your connection with the Creation!
Live each day in appreciation and wonderment!
You are a being of light, and you know what direction you are going to, it is up to you to decide how to get there.
Find the things you love and do them. Give your all in everything that you can do. The knowledge will come.