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Offlinederyl
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Registered: 10/21/04
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Re: What is the most embarrassing thing to happen to you while having sex? [Re: Brakkie]
    #4900259 - 11/06/05 11:49 AM (18 years, 4 months ago)

I was having sex in the back of a girl's car and she asked me if i knew her name, i was supposed too because i had been around her for about a month, but i totally went blank, she was preety pissed.

then another time i was getting head, i came in her mouth and saw her reaching for my beer too spit it out, it was preety late and it was the last beer i had in my house so i grabbed it and slammed it before she could reach it, then handed her the cup, she was preety pissed.

then another time i got really drunk and got some head and then she wanted to have some sex afterwards but i couldn't get it up, she was preety pissed.

this was all with the same girl by the way, in chronological order.

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InvisiblePrisoner#1
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Registered: 01/22/03
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Re: What is the most embarrassing thing to happen to you while having sex? [Re: Shroomism]
    #4900272 - 11/06/05 11:54 AM (18 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomism said:
Quote:

psilocyberin said:
I once busted my own nut in my own eye.




:lol:  :rotfl: :rofl2: :rofl: :handth:





I hope you arent trying to claim you haven't

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Invisibleblink
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Re: What is the most embarrassing thing to happen to you while having sex? *DELETED* [Re: Brakkie]
    #4900462 - 11/06/05 01:05 PM (18 years, 4 months ago)

Post deleted by blinkidiot

Reason for deletion: Im sorry



--------------------

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OfflineDocPsilocybin
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Re: What is the most embarrassing thing to happen to you while having sex? [Re: blink]
    #4901703 - 11/06/05 07:47 PM (18 years, 4 months ago)

Had to take a piss SO bad once while getting head.... Took me forever to cum because I was afraid I was going to piss in her mouth. Felt like I was pissing when I came. Not sure if I did. She never said anything?


--------------------
You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.
-- Booker T. Washington

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Offlinefaslimy
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Re: What is the most embarrassing thing to happen to you while having sex? [Re: DocPsilocybin]
    #4901907 - 11/06/05 08:41 PM (18 years, 4 months ago)

its impossible to do both at the same time im told

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Offlinekingfish4200
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Registered: 08/12/05
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Re: What is the most embarrassing thing to happen to you while having sex? [Re: faslimy]
    #4902075 - 11/06/05 09:09 PM (18 years, 4 months ago)

Me and my girlfriend used a big ass bottle of chocolate syrup at her moms house. Lots of fun covered head to toe in syrup licking everywhere and sliding all over each others bodies. But talk about chocolate overkill. I didn't want chocolate for like 2 weeks after. Oh yeah the embarrassing part. When we were done the sheets were covered in chocolate and some on her bed spread. She took them all off and put new ones on and put those in the dirty laundry. She said she would do them later. We took a shower and then went to a movie, When we came back the sheets were GONE!! and already in the wash. Her mom found them!!...LOL
But it was cool she just made some jokes about it..We both were in our 20's so it was no big deal..but her finding out we got freaky in her house with chocolot syrup! was crazy...lol


--------------------
"The answer is never the answer. What's really interesting is the mystery. If you seek the mystery instead of the answer, you'll always be seeking. I've never seen anybody really find the answer-- they think they have, so they stop thinking. But the job is to seek mystery, evoke mystery, plant a garden in which strange plants grow and mysteries bloom. The need for mystery is greater than the need for an answer."

-- Ken Kesey

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InvisibleLiz
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Re: What is the most embarrassing thing to happen to you while having sex? [Re: faslimy] * 1
    #4902076 - 11/06/05 09:09 PM (18 years, 4 months ago)

on my 16th birthday, I was having sex with my boyfriend.  My parents had left the house without so much as a "happy birthday" saying they were leaving for the day, so I thought they had completely forgotten all about my birthday.

So I'm on top of him, my door swings open, and there's my mom, my stepdad, my 3 year old sister, 16 year old brother, and my fucking GRANDPARENTS, singing Happy Birthday.  Holding a camcorder.

Beat that one.  :frown:


--------------------
Remember, remember the fifth of November
The gunpowder treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.



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InvisibleAcidic_SlothM
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Re: What is the most embarrassing thing to happen to you while having sex? [Re: Liz]
    #4902094 - 11/06/05 09:12 PM (18 years, 4 months ago)

fucking classic. :heart:


--------------------
-- Accept my heart warming gift of TREE SCRATCHIES!!! I absolve thee!! --

JaP: 30,000 lines of gay, cock, and fag can't be wrong
Ped: only in #shroomery is "smuggle opium in her ass" followed by "i don't want shitty opium" which is followed by " *** Joins: PENISSQUAD"
--
JaP: What would this place be without random sluts?
JaP: Nothing, I tell you.


:heart: :todcasil: :heart:

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OfflineBubblerBoy
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Registered: 01/27/04
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Re: What is the most embarrassing thing to happen to you while having sex? [Re: Liz]
    #4902109 - 11/06/05 09:15 PM (18 years, 4 months ago)

:rofl:baaahahaha:rofl:


--------------------
In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter, bitter," he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart."

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Offlinewillmafingerdo
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Re: What is the most embarrassing thing to happen to you while having sex? [Re: automan]
    #4902220 - 11/06/05 09:40 PM (18 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

automan said:
a few months ago, i was with my wife doggie style. my dog snuck up on the bed and started to lick my asshole. as soon as i realized what was happening my boner went to shit. my wife and i just layed in bed laughing.






Quote:

ifallapart said:
on my 16th birthday, I was having sex with my boyfriend.  My parents had left the house without so much as a "happy birthday" saying they were leaving for the day, so I thought they had completely forgotten all about my birthday.

So I'm on top of him, my door swings open, and there's my mom, my stepdad, my 3 year old sister, 16 year old brother, and my fucking GRANDPARENTS, singing Happy Birthday.  Holding a camcorder.

Beat that one.  :frown:




OMG THOSE ARE FUNNY!!

most inbarsing thing to happen to me was when i came home for x-mass leave and my wife and i were going to go out with one of my buddies. so we asked my wifes mom to watch the baby for us. well she thought we left, but while we were up in the bedroom we started messing around and having sex. well when it was about time for me to finish up i figured i would go for the old money shot.. well as i was crwawling up to get into position her mom walks in to see her poor daughter getting molested. i squilled like a lil gril and while in mid air manged to grab the blanket and cacoon myself into a ball, leaving my wife laying there.. i think her mom was more inbaresed than we were..  i think my wifes famly just likes to try to see me naked..


--------------------
:scaryshroom: :shitstorm: :mattz: :bongload: :gethigh: :scaryshroom:

I am not lost.. i am going there looking for it.. and when i get there and find it, i will know what it is..

"The way to stop violence is not to go out and let your head be beaten in but to say, you want to take my life risk yours!"

"are you sure u want to eat all them shrooms??"  "yes i want to hear what my mind has to say..."

remember opions are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink.

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InvisibleWhiskeyClone
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Re: What is the most embarrassing thing to happen to you while having sex? [Re: theuser]
    #4903648 - 11/07/05 08:25 AM (18 years, 4 months ago)

Several things come to mind:

Often when my gf and I get into it our chests make farting noises. We have to stop and laugh every time.

Once I found a woodtick on her ass when we were doing it against a tree in the woods. I didn't tell her until after.

And a couple of random leg cramps that sent one of us leaping out of the bed and hopping around naked.


--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:

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Offlinedrtyfrnk
PresidentialCandidate 2008
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Re: What is the most embarrassing thing to happen to you while having sex? [Re: Liz] * 1
    #4903679 - 11/07/05 08:38 AM (18 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

ifallapart said:
on my 16th birthday, I was having sex with my boyfriend.  My parents had left the house without so much as a "happy birthday" saying they were leaving for the day, so I thought they had completely forgotten all about my birthday.

So I'm on top of him, my door swings open, and there's my mom, my stepdad, my 3 year old sister, 16 year old brother, and my fucking GRANDPARENTS, singing Happy Birthday.  Holding a camcorder.

Beat that one.  :frown:




So did you keep the tape?


--------------------
It's Krang, Bitch!  :krang:

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OfflineCaptain Loafy McPoopdick
(4 1 2)

Registered: 06/27/04
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Re: What is the most embarrassing thing to happen to you while having sex? [Re: drtyfrnk]
    #4903960 - 11/07/05 10:50 AM (18 years, 4 months ago)

This thread is great hahaha!



Everytime I went down on my girl my mom walked in

Me- :slurp: :slurp: (sucking and kissing noises)
Girlie- :heavy breathing:
*the door opens*

Mom- what the hell is going on in here?!?
Girlie- *jumping all around trying to get under the covers*
Me- We're having relations! Try knocking next time!
Mom- Cut that shit out!

*mom leaves, door closes*
Me- Lets continue. :slurp: :slurp: (sucking and kissing noises



:kiss: :crazy2:

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OfflineXUL
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Re: What is the most embarrassing thing to happen to you while having sex? [Re: Captain Loafy McPoopdick]
    #4903972 - 11/07/05 10:54 AM (18 years, 4 months ago)

donkey pummel


--------------------
TRUMP 2020

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Offlinedrtyfrnk
PresidentialCandidate 2008
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Re: What is the most embarrassing thing to happen to you while having sex? [Re: XUL]
    #4904052 - 11/07/05 11:24 AM (18 years, 4 months ago)

Oh Loafy, that was great :rotfl:

I love your line "We're having relations! Try knocking next time! and then mom - Cut that shit out!" lol


--------------------
It's Krang, Bitch!  :krang:

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Offlinesaukkomies
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Re: What is the most embarrassing thing to happen to you while having sex? [Re: AliceDee]
    #4904324 - 11/07/05 12:53 PM (18 years, 4 months ago)

Perhaps this isn't so embarrasing for some folks, but it was to me. It all took place back in the early 1990s while I was going to Graduate School at the University of Hawaii in Honolulu.  I had just gotten divorced after having been married for 12 years - and up to that point the only person I'd had sex with was my ex-wife.

So I was living alone in Honolulu in a neighborhood of almost 100% Asian (I'm a standard Anglo type White Guy).  Like I said, I was a recent divorcee, and was in my early 30s, and was a graduate student, and was sort of cute. And you'd think that in a situation like that I would have had a smorgasbord of sex. But the fact is I only had a total of two such occasions during the whole two years I was there.

Sex with my ex-wife had never been very good to tell the truth (we both got married as virgins), and on top of that, she cheated on me several times.  So finally I was a free man living in Hawaii, and I was like "Yippee!!! Now I can finally see what this whole sex thing is all about!" I was just ACHING for sex.

Now, it would have made matters a lot more bearable if I was going to Grad School in someplace like say Northern England. But I was in Honolulu. So after months and months passed (actually over an entire year had passed) and I was still in the middle of a sexual drought I would be put under excrutiating torture whenever I'd go to the beach. There in front of my eyes would be the most tantalizing spread of female <barely clothed> beauty I could imagine. Thousands of girls just waiting for a swell guy like me to rub lotion on them and nibble on their ears....

But of course it was like going to a grand buffet dinner and not being allowed to eat even though you're famished and the smells of the food are making your stomach churn. That was JUST how it was like for me in Honolulu! There I was, recently divorced, just DYING to have some experience in what the whole world of sex had to offer, and I couldn't get laid no matter what I tried!

Not only that, but in my major I was like one of three guys in the entire program of several hundred students who was male, unattached, and NOT GAY. And of all the other student co-eds about three-fourths of them were female, unattached and not gay. So you think that the odds would have been in my favor! I was on a day-to-day basis hanging out with girls who were potential dates. But all that ever happened was that I just made lots of friends..... :frown:

So, what did I do? Well, I decided to go down to the infamous Bishops Street one night in downtown Honolulu and I approached a woman who was one of a dozen or so who were standing around all by themselves on a dark part of this industrial street area. The woman I approached ended up being actually taller than I, but I'm not proud. So in my halting way I stumbled into hiring a hooker. She was a very nice gal (she was a Japanese/Anglo mix), and after going back to my place we talked for a bit, because even after having a "guaranteed" opportunity afforded to me because I was PAYING for it, I still just had no idea of how to get to First Base with a woman since I'd been married for so long.

Well, finally (because after all the clock was ticking) my "date" asked me if I wanted to do anything (I was busy playing my flute for her at this point). So I said to myself, well, this is it.

SO I went to my dresser drawer where I kept a box of condoms that had never been used. I had bought these things the first month after arriving in Honolulu in the hopes that this would be the first of many such boxes I'd be going through while living in Hawaii. HAH. So I got out one of these packages - which I had never in my life used before - and gave it to the prostitute because I wasn't quite sure what to do with it.

Well, I was laying back on the bed and she got to working at getting this thing on. Now, you'd think of all people that a professional sex worker would know about how to put a condom on a fellow's fellow. But it wasn't working out too well. In fact, it dragged on and on.... finally she said "Where did you get this thing from?" And I told her it was from a nearby drugstore, and then she began to laugh.

She told me that I'd bought condoms that are marketed for Oriental
men. In other words, they were too small for my European build! LOL!!!! I'd never heard of such a thing!

So luckily she had a couple of them on hand, and we resumed the operation. Although ultimately it still wasn't much of a success for me personally since I still was all freaked out about the whole thing about having sex with a real life woman in my room.

Anyway. I inquired later on and it turns out that there are basically Four Different Sizes of condoms manufactured, based on (YES - THAT'S RIGHT) race! Apparently men of Oriental ancestry tend to have a smaller diameter of apparatus than Europeans. And men of African ancestry have all of us beat! LOL!!! And so these differently sized condoms are marketed to different races in ways that appeal to their cultural interests. And because I was in a drugstore in the middle of an almost 100% Asian neighborhood, I unknowingly bought the Oriental-sized condoms! And of course how was I to know if the drugstore checkout lady didn't tell me... And of course I didn't really "try them on" till it was "show time", so that is why I had my strange encounter...  :tongue:
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Offlinedrtyfrnk
PresidentialCandidate 2008
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Re: What is the most embarrassing thing to happen to you while having sex? [Re: saukkomies]
    #4904486 - 11/07/05 01:40 PM (18 years, 4 months ago)

That was an awesome story dude!

Bravo for picking up a prostitute!


--------------------
It's Krang, Bitch!  :krang:

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OfflineInjectTruth
Wasting my Time,Waiting for theEnd
Male

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Re: What is the most embarrassing thing to happen to you while having sex? [Re: drtyfrnk]
    #4904516 - 11/07/05 01:47 PM (18 years, 4 months ago)

Not very embarrassing if you ask me.

Now if you got the african condoms, and were swimming around in one, that is embarrassing.


--------------------
On a personal level, Freaking Out is a process whereby an
individual casts off outmoded and restricting standars of
thinking, dress, and social etiquette in order to express
CREATIVELY his relationship to his immediate environment and
the social structure as a whole.

http://www.OrganicPharming.com - Ethno Shopping Portal

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Invisiblegoobler
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Re: What is the most embarrassing thing to happen to you while having sex? [Re: saukkomies]
    #4904523 - 11/07/05 01:49 PM (18 years, 4 months ago)

so, did you ATM?

I mean you're paying and all

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Invisibleblink
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Re: What is the most embarrassing thing to happen to you while having sex? [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #4904583 - 11/07/05 02:08 PM (18 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

CyberChump said:
Often when my gf and I get into it our chests make farting noises. We have to stop and laugh every time.




oh yeah; that too

ifallapart's beats everybody. hands down. no argument.


--------------------

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