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SketchyTX05
Beginner to theJourney
Registered: 08/11/05
Posts: 68
Loc: Inside my head
Last seen: 17 years, 7 months
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LSD and unfortunate Negative Thought Patterns
#4782491 - 10/10/05 12:59 PM (18 years, 5 months ago) |
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I dropped 3 hits of acid last night. About six hours laters, I sat there lying in bed, heart pounding against the back of my chest worrying about my baldness -- and also, as we all do on Psychadelics, pondering existance and the actuallity of everything as it is. Then I realized that I am so tired of this feeling. I was tired of the trip, my brain was exhausted, but most importantly I was sick of existing.
Do you ever get that way? I'm not exactly suicidal, or depressed exactly, but, do you ever just wish you could just stop being. At least for a while? In my current belief, I feel as if we die and thats it -- so, death does not scare me simply because I realize that (under my system of thinking) I can't analyze the event afterwards. It wouldn't matter, because all I know and see is with in me. Either way, not to be too scatterbrained (you underrstand how it can be after a trip).
So, I guess, to sum everything up in a couple of sentences -- have you guys ever just decided that you're totally sick of psychadelics? I think I'm going to have to be done for a while -- I fear I'm far to weak for it.
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TurricaN
Grasshopper
Registered: 03/17/05
Posts: 823
Loc: Amersfoort, Netherlands
Last seen: 10 months, 7 days
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Re: LSD and unfortunate Negative Thought Patterns [Re: SketchyTX05]
#4782674 - 10/10/05 01:37 PM (18 years, 5 months ago) |
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I've had that thought about a week or two after doing mushrooms once for a day or so. I'm not sure if it was an after effect of the mushrooms or just co-incidence, but I believe that we exist in some form forever, and that concept really scared me at the time.
It didn't put me off psychodelics though. I just feel that I've worked through that thought and so I don't really see it coming up again. Thoughts like that don't often repeat for me.
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SketchyTX05
Beginner to theJourney
Registered: 08/11/05
Posts: 68
Loc: Inside my head
Last seen: 17 years, 7 months
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Re: LSD and unfortunate Negative Thought Patterns [Re: TurricaN]
#4782882 - 10/10/05 02:23 PM (18 years, 5 months ago) |
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Well, between the original post and this one, I broke down in a manner of speaking. John Lennon led the way, and I just cried my eyes out -- which I never do and haven't done in years. Just crying at existance, if you will. If everything becomes so overwhelming at one point or another, there has got to be a release, and luckily I had my own.
I really want to know about you other trippers out there -- do you guys ever find yourself breaking down and crying because everything just is?
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QuantumMeltdown
Space Monkey
Registered: 10/31/01
Posts: 4,962
Loc: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Last seen: 7 months, 7 days
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Re: LSD and unfortunate Negative Thought Patterns [Re: SketchyTX05]
#4782942 - 10/10/05 02:34 PM (18 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
SketchyTX05 said: I really want to know about you other trippers out there -- do you guys ever find yourself breaking down and crying because everything just is?
No sorry not me. Don't get me wrong Ive had some nightmarish trips and I wish I would have just cried instead of done something irational to get myself into trouble.
-------------------- -QuantumMeltdown Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself. -Mark Twain "The time has come the walrus said, little oysters hide their heads, my Twain of thought is loosely bound I guess its time to Mark this down, Be good and you will be lonesome Be lonesome and you will be free Live a lie and you will live to regret it That's what livin' is to me That's what livin' is to me" Jimmy Buffett
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wuotan
tenderfoot
Registered: 07/16/05
Posts: 56
Loc: Hawaii
Last seen: 17 years, 9 months
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Re: LSD and unfortunate Negative Thought Patterns [Re: SketchyTX05]
#4783006 - 10/10/05 02:50 PM (18 years, 5 months ago) |
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This is odd that you've brought this up. On Saturday I dosed about 1.5g of shrooms at 6pm, and an hour later I ate a bit of pasta (my plan was to just chill out and play music alone in my room). I wait and wait and I still feel nothing, even though 1.5g usually puts me in a wonderful place (it's also strange because some friends dosed off of the exact same flush the day before). 2:30 comes along and I finally go to sleep. While I was sleeping I had one of the most vivid dreams I've ever had. I was an insect crawling out of the ground in the morning with all my insect brothers. For what seemed like hours I ran around spastically, like everyone else, searching for something, probably food. All of a sudden I could see every insect envisioned in my mind, those above and underground, and I could see what it was that they we were doing. Every insect was exerting so much effort so that they could perform their vital role in the group: those who collected food, the queens that produced offspring, and the soldiers who defended us all.
I woke up at 4:30 with an incredible feeling of the pointlessness of life. I laid a wake in bed on what felt like I was JUST coming down from a mushroom trip. I laid awake in bed feeling sorrow for the nonexistence of anything grand that I spent 15+ years believing. I just had to remind myself that even though (pardon my assumption that this is fact) we don't go anywhere when we die it shouldn't affect one in a way where just thinking about it (even subconsciously) gives the person any sort of negative feeling. There is so much pleasure to take and create in the world, it would be wrong to think otherwise.
This has been a recurring theme in my mushroom trips over the past year and a half and I think I've almost gotten to a point where I can say I'm unaffected by that way of thinking about the world. I've yet to cry about that subject or anything else while on shrooms (except for this one time when I lost control of just the muscles that control tearing and tears came pouring out of my eyes for a good 10 minutes... but maybe i was just crying on the inside.
edit: left out the part about it being shrooms and not LSD.
-------------------- Once I saw this wino who was eating grapes, and I said, "Dude, you have to wait". - Hedberg
Edited by wuotan (10/10/05 03:06 PM)
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Cloud_Skipper
Registered: 10/10/05
Posts: 52
Loc: UK
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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Re: LSD and unfortunate Negative Thought Patterns [Re: wuotan]
#4786126 - 10/11/05 03:23 AM (18 years, 5 months ago) |
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I think you really summed it up yourself there when you said you feel mentaly exhausted, crying is also a sure fire sign of mental exhaustion, simple as that, I wouldn't read too much into it if I were you. What frame of mind were you in going into the trip? Did you have doubts about doing the LSD? were you tired before you started? and have you been tripping regularly for a while, maybe with disturbed sleep patterns inbetween? as I have felt similar to this way by tripping too regular.
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