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Metasyn
one
Registered: 09/02/02
Posts: 239
Loc: PNW
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Profound sadness after a mushroom trip
#4732522 - 09/29/05 03:58 PM (18 years, 5 months ago) |
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A little background: I am an employed, reasonably well-adjusted 24 year old male currently living with my girlfriend of almost 3 years. I have somewhat extensive drug experience in the past 4 crazy years, including maybe 30-40 psychedelic experiences with all sorts of drugs - legal, illegal, RC's, etc. Recently (the past few months), I have been using psychedelics more than usual, and have nothing but fantastic times, including a number of deep spiritual experiences. A 5-MeO-DMT experience in particular (trip report here ) was profoundly affecting. For a while it felt like my life was really coming together; I knew what I was supposed to do and the beauty of everything around me was so palpable I could feel it wherever I went.
Last weekend I did some psilocybin mushrooms with my girlfriend, who occasionally accompanies me on my trips but is significantly less experienced than I. We took a moderate dose (2.5g or so), and hung out at our apartment, expecting nothing more than a pleasurable experience. There were moments of beauty as well as moments of pain, and we ended up delving into some pretty deep personal and relationship issues. When it all ended we still loved each other but for some reason the trip left me feeling deeply sad in a way that I haven't felt before except on a few isolated instances. I would certainly not call it a ?bad trip? (believe me, I?ve had those before), but it certainly wasn?t as glowing as most of my recent ones. Over the next few days the feelings of deep sadness stayed with me, even resulting in tears on a couple of occasions - which is quite unusual for me. All the things that seemed to fit together are in this new light completely incongruent. Beliefs that I used to believe with such conviction now seem thin and sterile. I don?t know what I am doing in this relationship, living in this city, working at this job. Its like everything I want was suddenly pushed back out of my reach after being almost grasped.
Surely if a beautiful psychedelic experience can leave a warm afterglow for days or weeks, an ugly one can imprint a profoundly unpleasant afterglow. Right? Has anyone else ever experienced this? Does it go away in time? I am tempted to take another trip to try to re-imprint a sense of direction and contentment in life, but I wonder if that is a good idea. Any experiences? Thanks.
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The_Red_Crayon
Exposer of Truth
Registered: 08/13/03
Posts: 13,673
Loc: Smokey Mtns. TN
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Re: Profound sadness after a mushroom trip [Re: Metasyn]
#4732575 - 09/29/05 04:12 PM (18 years, 5 months ago) |
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What is your calling. You obviously are having feelings of unfullfillment your feeling that everything your doing is routine and boring and you need to break the cycle.
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kotik
fuckingsuperhero
Registered: 06/29/04
Posts: 3,531
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Re: Profound sadness after a mushroom trip [Re: The_Red_Crayon]
#4732728 - 09/29/05 04:46 PM (18 years, 5 months ago) |
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we should join a club.
maybe you just realized how little everything matters.
-------------------- No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Profound sadness after a mushroom trip [Re: Metasyn]
#4733561 - 09/29/05 08:15 PM (18 years, 5 months ago) |
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The mushrooms are showing you that you're ready for the next part of your evolution IMO. That is almost always hearlded by sadness at the need for letting go of the familiar and safe.
The Universe asks just one question of us. "How much can you take".
Carry on.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
Edited by Icelander (09/29/05 08:15 PM)
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SneezingPenis
ACHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!111!
Registered: 01/15/05
Posts: 15,427
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Profound sadness after a mushroom trip [Re: Icelander]
#4735210 - 09/30/05 03:27 AM (18 years, 5 months ago) |
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Icelander, even though we dont agree on much, that was probably the most profound and unclouded assesment I have yet to see on these boards.
"Big Ups" Ali G
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Metasyn
one
Registered: 09/02/02
Posts: 239
Loc: PNW
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Re: Profound sadness after a mushroom trip [Re: SneezingPenis]
#4735448 - 09/30/05 07:21 AM (18 years, 5 months ago) |
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I sense you might be right Icelander, thank you.
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entiformatie
EvolutionaryMovements
Registered: 03/06/03
Posts: 1,043
Loc: miami, florida
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Re: Profound sadness after a mushroom trip [Re: Metasyn]
#4740936 - 10/01/05 01:01 PM (18 years, 5 months ago) |
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sounds like you've been tripping too often. i did the same with mushrooms over a two month period. they were all good, except for the last one, after which i didn't take any more for about a year.
whenever i find myself sad for no apparent reason, i'll sit and meditate for a bit. first few things to cross my mind usually have something to do with why i'm upset. or when i wake up in the morning, i'll try to pay attention to the first few things i think about.
or sometimes you just need to cry... i wish i could let go like that. i haven't let myself cry in so long...
-------------------- /opinion .sean
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Metasyn
one
Registered: 09/02/02
Posts: 239
Loc: PNW
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Re: Profound sadness after a mushroom trip [Re: entiformatie]
#4743036 - 10/01/05 10:23 PM (18 years, 5 months ago) |
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yes, crying can be quite carthartic. it can be the most intense emotional experience you can have short of something tragic.
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Jon
Registered: 06/28/03
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Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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Re: Profound sadness after a mushroom trip [Re: Metasyn]
#4744729 - 10/02/05 09:05 AM (18 years, 5 months ago) |
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Have you tried considering it a beautiful sadness? Such sadness does exist, its what makes women beautiful in my opinion.
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Metasyn
one
Registered: 09/02/02
Posts: 239
Loc: PNW
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Re: Profound sadness after a mushroom trip [Re: Jon]
#4749370 - 10/03/05 01:16 PM (18 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yeah, beautiful sadness could apply. But it was more of a painfully beautiful sadness, which, although beautiful, still hurt.
For the curious, an update: I took some MDMA last weekend, the day after had a good talk with my girlfriend, and now I feel pretty much back to normal. Thank you drugs.
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kotik
fuckingsuperhero
Registered: 06/29/04
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Re: Profound sadness after a mushroom trip [Re: Metasyn]
#4751234 - 10/03/05 07:54 PM (18 years, 5 months ago) |
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even though I do agree with letting go, and the emotional response that we go through.. also called death of the ego.. don't completely dismiss the actual side-effects of a mind-altering drug.
-------------------- No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.
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entiformatie
EvolutionaryMovements
Registered: 03/06/03
Posts: 1,043
Loc: miami, florida
Last seen: 15 years, 4 months
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Re: Profound sadness after a mushroom trip [Re: Metasyn]
#4751591 - 10/03/05 09:07 PM (18 years, 5 months ago) |
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don't thank the drugs, thank yourself. they just triggered chemical reactions in your brain. it was you that wanted to change, it was you t
-------------------- /opinion .sean
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