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OfflineWeAreAllOne
Opethian

Registered: 06/25/05
Posts: 2,649
Loc: Pennsylvania
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
Self-Destruction
    #4742605 - 10/01/05 11:16 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

up until about three days ago, i saw myself as a very smart kid
with more self-control than his peers.  i had seen what careless
drug use had done to friends and promised myself i would never end
up like that.

i had been using xanax and percocets quite heavily with some scattered
vicodin use.  whatever i could get my hands on really.  xanax and percs just happened to be the most easily available.

well i had been feeling pretty shitty after realizing that this chick
that i was into was into one of my friends, so i ate a few xanax bars
just to make me feel a little better.  i just kept saying a few more can't hurt and kept eating them.  three hours later, i was awoken by a man.  i was lying on my back in the middle of a park.  i lost my jacket and have no recollection whatsoever of how i got there.

despair is a feeling i am quite used to but this time i guess i was
just overwhelmed.  and yes, you can give me the speech about how many
other ways there are to deal with my problems but that is not really what i need to hear right now.  i know i am on the wrong track but i really don't care.

not caring is the part that scares me.  i used to love life and enjoy everything in it.  the simplest things kept me amused.  i have lost my
childish fascination and have become quite bored with life in itself.
i am frustrated, misguided, and alone.

i don't know what to do.




reply if you want.  i'm simply venting.

thanks to all who read.

:heart:


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OfflineHarbinger
The Power of theRiff Compels Me

Registered: 08/12/03
Posts: 2,059
Loc: Far Away
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
Re: Self-Destruction [Re: WeAreAllOne]
    #4742756 - 10/01/05 11:43 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

If you're feeling like that, lay off the drugs. Seriously, they won't help you. I know thats exactly what you don't want to hear, but its the absolute fucking truth. Everybody goes overboard sometimes. I'm just like you when it comes to how much I can take. I know my limits very well and usually don't go past them, but the key word there is usually.

I've had plenty of moments in the past where life doesn't seem interesting. Life can be pretty boring sometimes, but if I've learned anything, its that you have to make your life interesting. You can't just wait around for the next great thing to happen to you.

Hang in there man, you'll be alright.


--------------------
Click the pic to hear some songs I've recorded.


:rockon:


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Offlinepsilocyb0rg
Psilocyborg
 User Gallery

Registered: 09/27/05
Posts: 131
Loc: New York
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
Re: Self-Destruction [Re: WeAreAllOne]
    #4745222 - 10/02/05 02:36 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

I agree....the drugs are just going to make it worse for now. lay off them, and definately do not let a female be the cause of your self-destruction. I find what makes it easier for me is to get angry at the girl, and then gain a kind of hatred towards her. then you'll start feelin like you're better than her. it's a fast way to getting over a girl. but definately lay off all of the drugs for a while.


--------------------

Join the Mushroom Army at
www.themushroomarmy.com


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InvisibleSimisu
taken by gravity
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/08/03
Posts: 5,310
Loc: Israeli in Flag
Re: Self-Destruction [Re: psilocyb0rg]
    #4745480 - 10/02/05 04:30 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

there is nothing TO do... just be your self and do what's right...
i don't think there's anything you can do that'll make everything suddenly "ok" (especialy not drugs)

i kinda feel lost in the same way but i accept it and i do my best to rise above this boardem and uselessness... most of the time i'm just board but i have my little moments i cherish and i make a point to remmber what it was exectly that felt right so i can move on...


--------------------
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OfflineEternal1999
Stranger

Registered: 05/30/05
Posts: 161
Loc: 72574
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
Re: Self-Destruction [Re: Simisu]
    #4747471 - 10/03/05 01:10 AM (11 years, 2 months ago)

I feel tha same way you do. Im stuck and cant get out of this. Feeling like life is over right now. I dont even enjoy anything anymore. Everyday, its just tha same old thing.


--------------------
hkgm


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Offlineentiformatie
EvolutionaryMovements
Male
Registered: 03/06/03
Posts: 1,043
Loc: miami, florida
Last seen: 8 years, 23 days
Re: Self-Destruction [Re: Eternal1999]
    #4750016 - 10/03/05 05:39 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

be productive. meditate. jog in the morning. eat right. you'll see your life change before your eyes over the period of a month. guaranteed or your money back. what money? good point. exactly, it's free, so what do you have to lose?

you need to take initiative. i guess that takes a bit of faith, but it'll get you as far as you need to go.


--------------------
/opinion
.sean


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Offlineqhr0me
o = oo
Registered: 09/16/05
Posts: 203
Loc: sun diego, ca
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
Re: Self-Destruction [Re: Eternal1999]
    #4759854 - 10/05/05 06:37 PM (11 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Eternal1999 said:
I feel tha same way you do. Im stuck and cant get out of this. Feeling like life is over right now. I dont even enjoy anything anymore. Everyday, its just tha same old thing.




goddam anhedonia and existential depression. the been there done that factor. you can win the rat race all you want, you're still a rat! just try not to feel sorry for yourself. i heard only assholes feel sorry for themselves. pink floyd says: don't worry, nobody lives forever!-)


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Amazon Shop for: Pink Floyd

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