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InvisibleLakefingers

Registered: 08/26/05
Posts: 6,439
Loc: mumuland
Ecstasy of shrooms with a first timer: gazing into Pandora's box
    #4735202 - 09/30/05 05:21 AM (11 years, 2 months ago)

I've done mushrooms before, but Ebb was new to it, although he's experienced LSD. I told Ebb a few days beforehand that he should prepare for his first mushroom trip. The day we set off on our trip it was raining and it was fall. We each ate 21.6 grams of wet P. Cubensis, Amazonian strain. Our only intention was to go beyond language. Ebb said >>I don't know what to expect so however much you give me is fine.<<

About fifteen minutes after finishing up our piles we began really noticing the bass in the music and we started feeling that the music was talking through a circular light on the ceiling. The light was cast by a small purple candle I had set out. It moved around the ceiling in beat with the music and the body rush began hitting hard. I felt more nauseous than ever before on shrooms, Ebb didn't feel much nausea at all. We were both ecstatically rushed to the peak that Ebb had already thought came. I told him >>we're not there yet<<. Not long after this we lost track of time. The rest of this trip report is going to be somewhat out of order because I don't care to figure out the chronology of what happened.

The body rush was pretty intense and I had the whole roundish, cubic body-in-amniotic-fluid-sensation going on. I wasn't elated?it was elation. In the beginning we listened to Groove Sallad and later we put on some Terry Riley (Persian Surgery Dervishes) which was very jarring?we had a difficult time adjusting to new stimuli, like new music or when we stood up or when we turned our heads. These types of changes were disorienting and ripped us out of shroom-space and put into chunky, clumsy, edgy, normalish reality.

Aphex Twin's Ambient Works is what I put on random for most of the trip. We sat around on the floor most of the time. I had gotten art books from the library earlier that day. >>Max Ernst: A Retrospective<< by Landau and >>Jackson Pollock<< by Spies. Ebb didn't bother looking at the pictures until I found some magical one and showed it to him. Pollock was kind of boring, but the Ernst was intense. The paintings were dark, but not morbid; they were extremely suggestive and I remember saying >>this is so...sub-conscious!<<. I sat there staring at Max Ernst and saying >>Wow. It's really great to be alive.<< and Ebb said >>I don't know if it's too early or if I should say it, but this is so much better than acid<<. So we talked about the differences of effects and after a while when we hit the plateau he began experiencing ego loss. >> This is contradictory, but I think I'm experiencing ego loss. I am, I<<. We chuckled and mocked the everpresent >>I am<< of English. I thought about how >>I am<< is so meaningless. It's as if you can't escape it when you don't mean it. When you wish to refer to the body, the happening-thought, the ether of blabbered experience that...just comes out you're still reduced to an >>I am<<. >>I am<< has lost it's emphasis too; you can't escape the meaninglessness of >>I am<< even if you really try to emphasize it in your words. It'll just go by unnoticed. In either case the numbness and dumbness of daily language eats up the transcendended ego and present ego that try to express themselves.

Ebb really felt that everything he said was insufficient and I thought of each statement or concept as a pinpoint trying to refer to an entire reality and it could never succeed?the common psychedelic insight that words can't suffice. But words are a tool and should not be a faith. At this point it began feeling like everything Ebb and I said were strands of only partially meaningful things and that somehow they were bending and curling back upon themselves, yet they let out some momentum so I got the jist of them anyhow.

At some point we talked about old ways of seeing things, of making a world, seeing it and using/abusing it. We talked about concepts and limits of language. Ebb was reading Rorty at the time so he mentioned Rorty's great statement >We don't need that kind of thinking anymore<. And we don't. Let us free ourselves of arguments of arguments, of sickness of death, of effectivity, of fear and anathema for the body. Let us free ourselves of the dogmatic use of words that should only be tools.

Synaesthesia was pretty strong. I felt, even later at night after we came down, that everything was a smell, or that existence was smellish. I wasn't actually smelling music and smelling sight, but smell is the closest sense to explain how I experienced my environment. Everything was wafty and fluid and just present.

Ebb sat in a large chair and stared out the window at two very large trees. I stood near the window and saw the trees to my left, but looked also out over the valley/plain and gawked at the sight just before the ridge on the other side. There were cars sweeping and teeming about on the highway overpass (there's a large area where the traffic meets about ? a mile from here, down in the valley). Beyond the cars were apartment buildings. People living in company spaces. Some lights on, some off. It looked superurban, but cozy. I was amazed it was there. I couldn't believe I never saw it like that before. I was talking about it like a madman with a grin on my face and Ebb was just melting into the chair and talking about the symbiosis of the trees and the music. After a while Ebb realized that we weren't even seeing the same thing, although we were having a conversation and seeming to understand each other. This had happened to us before when we smoked a few weeks before. We were talking and seeing different things, even talking about different things, for a while before we realized it. It was stunning. I knealt down to check out his view, which wasn't much different than what I saw to the left in my peripheral. He got up and saw my view and said it looked like 2050's Japan. We communicated, but we were in different dimensions. It was like us growing up far away, yet having the same mother tongue. It was like Romans meeting, one from Gaul and one from Turkey. There was an overlap, but there was communion.

We were laying on the floor and Ebb asked if I remembered what it was like being a kid and looking at the ceiling and thinking I was walking on it. I did and it was great. We wondered when we stopped playing with toys and I joked that I could, instead of buying books, buy all my stuff from the toy store..

We explored my bathroom, which I didn't recognize at all when Ebb told me to go in there. Earlier in the day I had put some clothes in there and made it look much more homely and small than it did before. Also there was a flower (a cyclamen) that I had bought a few days before that wasn't doing so well so I watered it and left in on the sink earlier in the day. I think this is the main reason why I didn't recognize the bathroom, why it felt like some more kind and homely person than myself had decorated it. I thought we were in a middle aged woman's bathroom in Denmark and Ebb agreed. We stood in there staring about, exploring it, checking out the mirror, our huge pupils, our funny smiles. I had a plastic box on the floor with a clear cover on top. The cover was colored white from the mist inside the box and as we stared at it I saw the misted areas shifting and flowing about like gases. I was happy about this, because up until then there were no OEVs. The CEVs by the way, were very geometric, but still organic, like grey, black, insidious brain folds. So as we were staring at the box I remembed the movie Mulholland Drive, that I watched with Ebb a month or so before. This was Pandora's box. I lifted it and Ebb slightly hesitantly and humorously laughed >>noo<<. It was empty inside. We were suprised. Empty. I put the lid back on and watched the clouds shift on top. It was a mist of primordial-kenning. Pandora's box was empty, because it'd already been emptied into our world. The chaos was out here and we dare to project chaos on the box! It's our scapegoat. A scapegoat so that man doesn't have to be loving and creative, I realized. So man can think all of this is orderly. So man can think there's something or someone worse off than itself. We heard the bass of the music in the main room and it sounded at one point like it was some sort of bulldozer tearing off a chunk of my apartment. I was curious and we went out.

We came out into the hall and stood there where a sarong was hung in the doorway to the main room. The candle light was leaking out and there was strange music coming from there. We stood in the hallway not knowing if we should go in, but I pulled the sarong aside as Ebb said >>nahh<< and it was very misty in there, probably from all the incense that was burning. Ebb came in too and said something about us going from different times and settings and asked if I realized I had a three room, not a one room, apartment and if I ever go sit in the hallway for instance, >>it's yours.<< I thought of it and thought of doing it, but I also thought how everyone that lives in an apartment is just a nomad floating around from one company to another and living in some weird box. Fast food, fast living, living for companies. So I didn't recognize my room and that was strange. I knew it was my room, I could feel it in my gut, but my mind told me that it was something different. I thought it was in the future. I simply thought it was another room.

We stood there staring out the window into the rain and lazily talked about going out, but we didn't, because we were pretty tired. We were amazed at how so many people were outside although it was raining, cold and very windy. People walked by with umbrellas in tact with the music. The trees wiggled, bent and offered soul in tact with the music. The umbrellas were like mushrooms. Ebb was like a mushroom whenever he stood up and walked across the room, like he was sprouting, he said. The lampposts were like mushrooms. I joked about the mushroom being a Platonic form. >>It's very Pythagorean, ya know. The form of the mushroom is present in some objective world and all creatures seek it. Pythagorean, ya know, there's the square, the circle, the triangle and the mushroom shape<<.

>>This is hysterical<<, Ebb said. He was right.
Aphex Twin's Ambient Works kept rolling on random in the background. Some of it was beautiful, some was very tricky. Time was irrelevant, things passed slowly, like in freefall.

I sat in the darkness in the bathroom for a while. It was close to sensory depravation. I couldn't remember or feel if my eyes were open or closed. At first it was nice, because I'd never been in there with the lights off, but I tried to feel the bathroom. It was an abyss. I could feel the shower drain going down into thousands of feet of darkness. I stood up and stared off the edge and challenged it. I tried to think of all the shit in my life that was causing me unease and I thought that these problems aren't problems. It's the entire concept of ?problem? that is problematic. There are no answers and no honest question can expect an answer. No honest problem is a problem. No honest problem has a soluiton. I stood there in the abyss, staring it down, chilling with it, playing with it and being played with it. Then I turned on the light and stared myself down in the mirror. I experienced it like this: this is my form. Primate. Bristly hair growing out. Coppery, dark brown, reddish. Eyes. Looks like fun. I can make smiles or frowns. I have teeth. I didn't choose any of this, but I guess you need a body, afterall you are your body. I felt good about it and went back out into the main room.

>>You didn't give me something to have, you gave me something to think<< Ebb said about the mushrooms. And that's the clandestine grain of this psychedelic alchemy.

The next day I found out that Ebb's visuals were much stronger than mine. At best I saw the lights coming alive, shadows turning into dragon shadows and the floor bubbling in the middle. The room was really messed up too?the dimensions were all off. Ebb said he was staring at the back of a wooden chair and, if I remember correctly, the knots were different philosophers breaking off from schools, but returning or being assimilated even if they didn't want to be >>philosopher's<< anymore. Some managed to branch off and those knots in the wood grew out, streched out towards him, viney.

What's interesting is that this wasn't a very hard trip, maybe high level 2, and so many of our experiences were ordinary for Ebb and me, but since we were on shrooms that's the only reason you're interested in reading an account about us.

With a great euphoria we were shot up to the plateau of the trip. I felt pretty nauseous due to all the excitment, but I liked it. I liked the nausea because that is part of the ride up the roller coaster that feels great. It feels good to feel nauseous to be alive to feel. When you get to the peak it's just free fall and floating. And that's how our trip was. And instead of going up another climb on the roller coaster, the effect of the mushroomdust just vanished like a vapor and we went out for a walk around 1 am. The rain had stopped, it was fall. The trees were amazing. Van Gogh saw the trees as passionate things. Tolkien saw them as enwized creatures. They saw the trees. We saw a hanging wizard tree, some weepy birch at the end of a street. We communicated, there was an overlap with the tree. Ebb and I split. I went back home, crashed and dreamt very vivid, great dreams.


Edited by Lakefingers (09/30/05 06:12 AM)


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Invisibleredgreenvines
irregular verb
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Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 19,674
Re: Ecstacy of shrooms with a first timer: gazing into Pandora's box [Re: Lakefingers]
    #4735263 - 09/30/05 06:03 AM (11 years, 2 months ago)

very natural reporting style
all eagerly enthralled


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Invisibleindica
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Registered: 08/17/05
Posts: 18,829
Re: Ecstacy of shrooms with a first timer: gazing into Pandora's box [Re: redgreenvines]
    #4743684 - 10/02/05 02:17 AM (11 years, 2 months ago)

that was a really great trip report. You made level 2 sound awesome!
Just makes you want to move seasons to bring shrooms time back... ah!

peace


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Offlineentiformatie
EvolutionaryMovements
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Registered: 03/06/03
Posts: 1,043
Loc: miami, florida
Last seen: 8 years, 23 days
Re: Ecstacy of shrooms with a first timer: gazing into Pandora's box [Re: indica]
    #4770700 - 10/07/05 10:21 PM (11 years, 1 month ago)

nice report. like redgreenvines said, natural style. you explain quite well the experience, making it very enjoyable to read. hope you post more reports :-)


--------------------
/opinion
.sean


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InvisibleLakefingers

Registered: 08/26/05
Posts: 6,439
Loc: mumuland
Re: Ecstacy of shrooms with a first timer: gazing into Pandora's box [Re: entiformatie]
    #4771919 - 10/08/05 04:50 AM (11 years, 1 month ago)

Thanks guys! Take care--


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