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 comradelucifer
Stranger
Registered: 08/11/05
Posts: 75
Last seen: 15 years, 8 months
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 pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it 
#4715364 - 09/26/05 04:19 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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Hey guys-some shit went down today that has made me extremely depressed. I have been searching for mushrooms for 5 months, every single day. Before I began to investigate mushrooms and LSD, I was a hardboiled atheist with no shred of spirituality. I than began to investigate these psychedelics and became enthralled. Reading Island and the Doors of Perception and all the other classics, I couldn't believe the possibilities that these tools open up. I found the people associated with these tools to be incredibly nice and kind....always encouraging me to find the mushrooms, never pushing anything on me or coercing me to follow their advice.
The religious significance of the mushroom is astounding. I felt as though I would finally locate some spirituality, and the elation this brought me was overwhelming. To think that I would merge with god.....to see everything around me imbued with beauty, transfigured in a new light of perception...was incredible.
5 months I have searched unsuccessfully....deal after deal has fallen through...each time forcing me down into a pit of dejection and depression...I found myself increasingly cynical...believing that I would NEVER be able to experience the mushroom
I am slightly handicapped. My condition is not degenerative or life threatening....it is a mild cerebral palsy resulting from my premature birth. As a result of this, today I walk with a slight limp in my right leg.
Today, I finally found a dealer who positively had mushrooms (who I thought was also a good friend.) I was overjoyed. But, he refused to sell to me....say that he would not want to be responsible for "fucking a handicap up." I was shocked. Here was a piece of shit douche bag, an irresponsible kid, who tripped just to "get fucked and see crazy shit," who had not the slightest fucking clue of the religious, spiritual significance of the mushroom.
Honestly, I feel this is the last straw. A fucking 17 year old idiot, refusing to give to me the spiritual journey and completeness I so want to experience. An immature moron who refused me the possibility of sheer ecstasy.
I really don't know what to do at this point....I feel incredibly depressed and dejected. I feel as though I shall never be able to experience the unity and transfiguration I so want to witness and be a part of.
Thanks for letting me blow of some steam here. What do you guys think? I am out of line, being a prick? what should I do at this point? I don't want to give up the search, and paradoxically I feel more determined than ever...but what do you think? Was the kid just a prick?
Thanks so much for reading this, and being such a wonderful community.
-CL
p.s. If anyone wants to P.M. me about my situation or anything...feel free
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 HeavyToilet
The Heaviest OfThem All
Registered: 08/06/03
Posts: 9,458
Loc: British Columbia
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 Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: comradelucifer]
#4715386 - 09/26/05 04:23 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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Do you live by yourself? Maybe look into growing, or picking.
This forum has sections that could help you with either.
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comradelucifer
Stranger
Registered: 08/11/05
Posts: 75
Last seen: 15 years, 8 months
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: HeavyToilet]
#4715397 - 09/26/05 04:26 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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no man...I live with my parents. I'm a senior in high shcool..so growing is out. And I don't feel comfortable enough identifying them in the wild yet.
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WillieTomg
If stemmer votedme 1, I'm doingSOMETHING right!
Registered: 04/09/05
Posts: 425
Loc: On the insides of your ey...
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: comradelucifer]
#4715410 - 09/26/05 04:28 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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EDIT-- Oh wait, you *can't* start your own grow. Serves me right for taking five minutes to reply to a thread with no views yet.
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Battles of wits are impossible with the unarmed.
Edited by WillieTomg (09/26/05 04:30 PM)
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HeavyToilet
The Heaviest OfThem All
Registered: 08/06/03
Posts: 9,458
Loc: British Columbia
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: comradelucifer]
#4715422 - 09/26/05 04:31 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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That's what the Hunting forum is for.
http://www.shroomery.org/index/par/23483
Just find what mushrooms grow in your area and research them. You can find plenty of identifying information and pictures on the species that grow in your area.
If you have a camera and a scanner, or a digital camera, you could post pictures of the mushrooms in the Hunting form.
Some mushrooms are a lot easier to identify though, and you could probably get away with just posting a description.
That would probably be your best bet.
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coda
Banjo Goiter
Registered: 03/20/01
Posts: 8,750
Last seen: 1 year, 26 days
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: HeavyToilet]
#4715476 - 09/26/05 04:39 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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HT- im sorry but thats PISS POOR advice, especially AFTER he said he didnt want to hunt for them since he cant positively ID them.
FYI dont go picking wild shrooms if you've never seen one in the wild before!!! This is dangerous and could lead you to ingesting a posionous look a like. No offense HT, but seriously, dont advise people to go do something that could get them hurt or killed.
Comrade- I feel your pain, i really do, something along the same lines happened to me this weekend and its really disappointing. But, keep this in mind, the harder you look the less chance you have of finding them. My advice is to take a break, dont ask for a bit, concentrate on some other things and give it some time, you will find your trip sooner or later. Spend some time on this board, find out if other shroomerites live nearby, chances are if you become friends with them they can help you out(just dont go asking every shroomerite to help you out with locating them  ). As for the dealer who didnt sell to you, i can see where he's coming from. Technically, if he sells you shrooms and you die or get hurt as a result of it, he can get in trouble for it. You suffering from palsy probably scared him a bit thinking that something bad could happen. I know i wouldnt give someone something that has the potential to harm them, maybe if you take the time to explain to him your situation he'll understand the low risk involved and hook you up.
good luck man.
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To get really high is to forget yourself. And to forget yourself is to see everything else. And to see everything else is to become an understanding molecule in evolution, a conscious tool of the universe. And I think every human being should be a conscious tool of the universe. . . .
-JG
i really am glad you came back to us instead of taking the other path. *hug*
-A_S (RIP your final words to me will never be forgotten)
 
Don't fuck with the laughing jesus.
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StickyWater
Stranger
Registered: 06/09/05
Posts: 1,680
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: HeavyToilet]
#4715508 - 09/26/05 04:45 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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Get a friend to buy off this guy for you then just give them to you. As for this dealer, let the mushrooms decide what to do with him, what comes around goes around, and he just sent some pretty rotten sh*t around with that one...
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DeathCompany
Oneironaut
Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 12,662
Loc: Somewhere in my head
Last seen: 1 year, 21 days
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: StickyWater]
#4715530 - 09/26/05 04:50 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
StickyWater said:
Get a friend to buy off this guy for you then just give them to you. As for this dealer, let the mushrooms decide what to do with him, what comes around goes around, and he just sent some pretty rotten sh*t around with that one...
just what i was going to say.
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Mighty Bop
Big Boy
Registered: 06/30/01
Posts: 1,994
Loc: Nowhere
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: comradelucifer]
#4715556 - 09/26/05 04:55 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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Seems like you are trying a little too hard to find shrooms. Take a break, etc. Do what coda suggested. You will experience shrooms someday, you know you will. Just try not to rush it or anything. If you move out in the next year, start growing  Everything will work out in the end........
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I got a buddy with United Fruit, get ya started...
Trade List
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XUL
OTD Janitor
Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 28,261
Loc: America 
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: comradelucifer]
#4715817 - 09/26/05 05:40 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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I feel you dood, I mean I searched for a whole year before I even found the scent of a deal. Then about 4 deals fell through, then finally this summer I got to try them.
Dont worry you will find them, and it will be great for you. 
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TRUMP 2020
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king_cobra
Stranger
Registered: 02/27/05
Posts: 2,752
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: Mighty Bop]
#4715834 - 09/26/05 05:43 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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go to a music fesitval man, there must have been at least 1 around your area/state in that 5 month period.
depending on the fest, you will have people walking around going "shrooms, X, acid!"
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Lysergic_Milkman
Dr. Fist
Registered: 10/21/04
Posts: 1,676
Loc: ATL
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: king_cobra]
#4715961 - 09/26/05 05:59 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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I wouldn't blame the dealer. You thought he was a good friend, and he probably thought the same way about you.
He felt like your condition could be a problem if you tripped. I don't know one single dealer that would pass up on selling some shrooms because of someone's handicap; most dealers will sell to just about anyone they think they can trust. Sounds like this guy really cares about your health.
I think if you talk to him and get rid of his ignorance about your condition, then he will sell to you.
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HeavyToilet
The Heaviest OfThem All
Registered: 08/06/03
Posts: 9,458
Loc: British Columbia
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: coda]
#4716361 - 09/26/05 06:57 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
coda said:
HT- im sorry but thats PISS POOR advice, especially AFTER he said he didnt want to hunt for them since he cant positively ID them.
FYI dont go picking wild shrooms if you've never seen one in the wild before!!! This is dangerous and could lead you to ingesting a posionous look a like. No offense HT, but seriously, dont advise people to go do something that could get them hurt or killed.
Go back to school and learn English, because obviously you can't understand it.
When did I fucking say he should eat unID'd mushrooms? Duurrrr, NEVER.
What I said was what people do when they go hunting for mushrooms. They figure out what types grow in their area and research them. If he finds some that resemble a species that grow in his area, then he takes them home and makes sure everything matches the description, right down to the spore print colour.
This is standard procedure.
You talk trash about my post, I said nothing wrong fool.
What was your advise? Sit around and don't do jack shit? Good one dumb dumb, I'm sure it helped him out a lot.
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StickyWater
Stranger
Registered: 06/09/05
Posts: 1,680
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: HeavyToilet]
#4716380 - 09/26/05 07:03 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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If it helps, think of it this way, the longer you wait, and the more effort you put into finding them, the better you'll feel once you finaly do get your hands on them, which, if you don't lose interest, will happen eventualy...
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novorua
Waterholic
Registered: 09/19/05
Posts: 446
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 14 years, 4 months
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: StickyWater]
#4716414 - 09/26/05 07:09 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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Honestly bro I suggest trying to talk to him again. Take him out for lunch or something and talk over it. Tell him this truly means a lot to you, and if he can even trip with you(and be a sitter too) it would be wonderful of him. It's worth a shot. Good luck.
PS - Growing in your room is pretty easy man, your parents don't have to know. It's very easy to cover it up, especially if your parents don't go into your room often. This is just an idea.
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stemmer
Stranger
Registered: 09/08/05
Posts: 2,672
Last seen: 17 years, 8 months
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: StickyWater]
#4716447 - 09/26/05 07:16 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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Iv got an idea for picking up some shrooms etc.
Comrad, firstly, that idiot who was about to sell to you should piss you off, and im sorry your not in contact with more shroom growers/dealers. You sound like you should be the first guy to get a bag of em.
Seriously, you should probably by tickets(or not) to a show like *string cheese incident, *moe, almand bros, *grateful dead tour, trey anastasio, widespread panic, *umphrees mcgee, *phil lesh's band's, and actually most raves and wander around in the parking lots.
Some of these groups are really great too so you might even want to buy tickets, but if you make the rounds about shakedown street, you WILL find some shrooms, acid is less likely but still very common(gel tabs are best-if you have not eaten good acid this type, and these places are where to look).
Sorry its so hard for an intelligent guy like yourself.
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stemmer
Stranger
Registered: 09/08/05
Posts: 2,672
Last seen: 17 years, 8 months
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: stemmer]
#4716453 - 09/26/05 07:17 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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Novorua has a good point, you sound like you could persuade anyone including that fool.
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stemmer
Stranger
Registered: 09/08/05
Posts: 2,672
Last seen: 17 years, 8 months
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: stemmer]
#4716464 - 09/26/05 07:21 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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Unless you live on the gulf coast or damn near it, Shroom picking is hard, as cubs(most common and easily identifiable type) dont grow much anywhere else. All other types are far easier to fuck up with when hunting.
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comradelucifer
Stranger
Registered: 08/11/05
Posts: 75
Last seen: 15 years, 8 months
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: stemmer]
#4716534 - 09/26/05 07:35 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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thank you all so much for your help. Right now, I am just really fucking angry. I should have some of my friends buy from this ass, I should grow- fuck man, I should do all of your suggestions. I wish my friends, that I could just find them. I guess the thing that most bothers me is that he HAD them, a friend of mine had them. And because I was born fucking premature, and because of a little fucking limp, the son of a bitch would not sell. I know I need to get over this, and I know in my soul that one day I WILL have the best fucking shroom experience ever, but it just doesn't take away the goddamn anger. If a black kid or a Jew (sorry if I offend anybody) had asked, would he have sold? I just feel fucking discriminated against man. I'll try to talk to him, but I doubt it'll do anything.
Once again, thank you all for your support and suggestions-I wish you guys could shroom with me.
-CL
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Lysergic_Milkman
Dr. Fist
Registered: 10/21/04
Posts: 1,676
Loc: ATL
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: comradelucifer]
#4716570 - 09/26/05 07:45 PM (18 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
HeavyToilet said:
Quote:
coda said:
HT- im sorry but thats PISS POOR advice, especially AFTER he said he didnt want to hunt for them since he cant positively ID them.
FYI dont go picking wild shrooms if you've never seen one in the wild before!!! This is dangerous and could lead you to ingesting a posionous look a like. No offense HT, but seriously, dont advise people to go do something that could get them hurt or killed.
Go back to school and learn English, because obviously you can't understand it.
When did I fucking say he should eat unID'd mushrooms? Duurrrr, NEVER.
What I said was what people do when they go hunting for mushrooms. They figure out what types grow in their area and research them. If he finds some that resemble a species that grow in his area, then he takes them home and makes sure everything matches the description, right down to the spore print colour.
This is standard procedure.
You talk trash about my post, I said nothing wrong fool.
What was your advise? Sit around and don't do jack shit? Good one dumb dumb, I'm sure it helped him out a lot.
You guys need to CHILL OUT. Stop flaming. Not only is it completely pointless and non-productive, but it's against the rules.
Quote:
comradelucifer said:
thank you all so much for your help. Right now, I am just really fucking angry. I should have some of my friends buy from this ass, I should grow- fuck man, I should do all of your suggestions. I wish my friends, that I could just find them. I guess the thing that most bothers me is that he HAD them, a friend of mine had them. And because I was born fucking premature, and because of a little fucking limp, the son of a bitch would not sell. I know I need to get over this, and I know in my soul that one day I WILL have the best fucking shroom experience ever, but it just doesn't take away the goddamn anger. If a black kid or a Jew (sorry if I offend anybody) had asked, would he have sold? I just feel fucking discriminated against man. I'll try to talk to him, but I doubt it'll do anything.
Once again, thank you all for your support and suggestions-I wish you guys could shroom with me.
-CL
This dealer isn't discriminating because he has it out for you, he does so because he's honestly ignorant. You really do need to work this out before you trip. I honestly don't think that you're ready yet. Not until you can forgive a man for being ignorant, because when you do trip, you will find that you were far more ignorant. And if you couldn't forgive another person for their ignorance, then there's no way that you could forgive yourself.
I hate to be so negative, but this thread is going in all the wrong directions.
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