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Offlinecomradelucifer
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Registered: 08/11/05
Posts: 75
Last seen: 15 years, 8 months
pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it
    #4715364 - 09/26/05 04:19 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Hey guys-some shit went down today that has made me extremely depressed. I have been searching for mushrooms for 5 months, every single day. Before I began to investigate mushrooms and LSD, I was a hardboiled atheist with no shred of spirituality. I than began to investigate these psychedelics and became enthralled. Reading Island and the Doors of Perception and all the other classics, I couldn't believe the possibilities that these tools open up. I found the people associated with these tools to be incredibly nice and kind....always encouraging me to find the mushrooms, never pushing anything on me or coercing me to follow their advice.

The religious significance of the mushroom is astounding. I felt as though I would finally locate some spirituality, and the elation this brought me was overwhelming. To think that I would merge with god.....to see everything around me imbued with beauty, transfigured in a new light of perception...was incredible.

5 months I have searched unsuccessfully....deal after deal has fallen through...each time forcing me down into a pit of dejection and depression...I found myself increasingly cynical...believing that I would NEVER be able to experience the mushroom

I am slightly handicapped. My condition is not degenerative or life threatening....it is a mild cerebral palsy resulting from my premature birth. As a result of this, today I walk with a slight limp in my right leg.

Today, I finally found a dealer who positively had mushrooms (who I thought was also a good friend.) I was overjoyed. But, he refused to sell to me....say that he would not want to be responsible for "fucking a handicap up." I was shocked. Here was a piece of shit douche bag, an irresponsible kid, who tripped just to "get fucked and see crazy shit," who had not the slightest fucking clue of the religious, spiritual significance of the mushroom.

Honestly, I feel this is the last straw. A fucking 17 year old idiot, refusing to give to me the spiritual journey and completeness I so want to experience. An immature moron who refused me the possibility of sheer ecstasy.

I really don't know what to do at this point....I feel incredibly depressed and dejected. I feel as though I shall never be able to experience the unity and transfiguration I so want to witness and be a part of.

Thanks for letting me blow of some steam here. What do you guys think? I am out of line, being a prick? what should I do at this point? I don't want to give up the search, and paradoxically I feel more determined than ever...but what do you think? Was the kid just a prick?

Thanks so much for reading this, and being such a wonderful community.

-CL

p.s. If anyone wants to P.M. me about my situation or anything...feel free

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InvisibleHeavyToilet
The Heaviest OfThem All
Male

Registered: 08/06/03
Posts: 9,458
Loc: British Columbia
Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: comradelucifer]
    #4715386 - 09/26/05 04:23 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Do you live by yourself? Maybe look into growing, or picking.

This forum has sections that could help you with either.

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Offlinecomradelucifer
Stranger
Registered: 08/11/05
Posts: 75
Last seen: 15 years, 8 months
Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: HeavyToilet]
    #4715397 - 09/26/05 04:26 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

no man...I live with my parents. I'm a senior in high shcool..so growing is out. And I don't feel comfortable enough identifying them in the wild yet.

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OfflineWillieTomg
If stemmer votedme 1, I'm doingSOMETHING right!
Registered: 04/09/05
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: comradelucifer]
    #4715410 - 09/26/05 04:28 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

EDIT-- Oh wait, you *can't* start your own grow. Serves me right for taking five minutes to reply to a thread with no views yet.


--------------------
Battles of wits are impossible with the unarmed.

Edited by WillieTomg (09/26/05 04:30 PM)

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InvisibleHeavyToilet
The Heaviest OfThem All
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Registered: 08/06/03
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Loc: British Columbia
Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: comradelucifer]
    #4715422 - 09/26/05 04:31 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

That's what the Hunting forum is for.

http://www.shroomery.org/index/par/23483

Just find what mushrooms grow in your area and research them. You can find plenty of identifying information and pictures on the species that grow in your area.

If you have a camera and a scanner, or a digital camera, you could post pictures of the mushrooms in the Hunting form.

Some mushrooms are a lot easier to identify though, and you could probably get away with just posting a description.


That would probably be your best bet.

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Offlinecoda
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Registered: 03/20/01
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: HeavyToilet]
    #4715476 - 09/26/05 04:39 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

HT- im sorry but thats PISS POOR advice, especially AFTER he said he didnt want to hunt for them since he cant positively ID them.

FYI dont go picking wild shrooms if you've never seen one in the wild before!!!  This is dangerous and could lead you to ingesting a posionous look a like.  No offense HT, but seriously, dont advise people to go do something that could get them hurt or killed.

Comrade- I feel your pain, i really do, something along the same lines happened to me this weekend and its really disappointing.  But, keep this in mind, the harder you look the less chance you have of finding them.  My advice is to take a break, dont ask for a bit, concentrate on some other things and give it some time, you will find your trip sooner or later.  Spend some time on this board, find out if other shroomerites live nearby, chances are if you become friends with them they can help you out(just dont go asking every shroomerite to help you out with locating them :wink: ).  As for the dealer who didnt sell to you, i can see where he's coming from.  Technically, if he sells you shrooms and you die or get hurt as a result of it, he can get in trouble for it.  You suffering from palsy probably scared him a bit thinking that something bad could happen.  I know i wouldnt give someone something that has the potential to harm them, maybe if you take the time to explain to him your situation he'll understand the low risk involved and hook you up.

good luck man.


--------------------
To get really high is to forget yourself. And to forget yourself is to see everything else. And to see everything else is to become an understanding molecule in evolution, a conscious tool of the universe. And I think every human being should be a conscious tool of the universe. . . .

-JG

i really am glad you came back to us instead of taking the other path. *hug*

-A_S (RIP your final words to me will never be forgotten)



Don't fuck with the laughing jesus.

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InvisibleStickyWater
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Posts: 1,680
Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: HeavyToilet]
    #4715508 - 09/26/05 04:45 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Get a friend to buy off this guy for you then just give them to you. As for this dealer, let the mushrooms decide what to do with him, what comes around goes around, and he just sent some pretty rotten sh*t around with that one...

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OfflineDeathCompany
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: StickyWater]
    #4715530 - 09/26/05 04:50 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

StickyWater said:
Get a friend to buy off this guy for you then just give them to you. As for this dealer, let the mushrooms decide what to do with him, what comes around goes around, and he just sent some pretty rotten sh*t around with that one...




just what i was going to say.


--------------------

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OfflineMighty Bop
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: comradelucifer]
    #4715556 - 09/26/05 04:55 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Seems like you are trying a little too hard to find shrooms. Take a break, etc. Do what coda suggested. You will experience shrooms someday, you know you will. Just try not to rush it or anything. If you move out in the next year, start growing :smile: Everything will work out in the end........


--------------------
I got a buddy with United Fruit, get ya started...

Trade List

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OfflineXUL
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: comradelucifer]
    #4715817 - 09/26/05 05:40 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

I feel you dood, I mean I searched for a whole year before I even found the scent of a deal. Then about 4 deals fell through, then finally this summer I got to try them.

Dont worry you will find them, and it will be great for you. :sun:


--------------------
TRUMP 2020

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Invisibleking_cobra
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: Mighty Bop]
    #4715834 - 09/26/05 05:43 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

go to a music fesitval man, there must have been at least 1 around your area/state in that 5 month period.

depending on the fest, you will have people walking around going "shrooms, X, acid!"


--------------------

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OfflineLysergic_Milkman
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: king_cobra]
    #4715961 - 09/26/05 05:59 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

I wouldn't blame the dealer. You thought he was a good friend, and he probably thought the same way about you.
He felt like your condition could be a problem if you tripped. I don't know one single dealer that would pass up on selling some shrooms because of someone's handicap; most dealers will sell to just about anyone they think they can trust. Sounds like this guy really cares about your health.

I think if you talk to him and get rid of his ignorance about your condition, then he will sell to you.

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InvisibleHeavyToilet
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Loc: British Columbia
Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: coda]
    #4716361 - 09/26/05 06:57 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

coda said:
HT- im sorry but thats PISS POOR advice, especially AFTER he said he didnt want to hunt for them since he cant positively ID them.

FYI dont go picking wild shrooms if you've never seen one in the wild before!!! This is dangerous and could lead you to ingesting a posionous look a like. No offense HT, but seriously, dont advise people to go do something that could get them hurt or killed.





Go back to school and learn English, because obviously you can't understand it.

When did I fucking say he should eat unID'd mushrooms? Duurrrr, NEVER.

What I said was what people do when they go hunting for mushrooms. They figure out what types grow in their area and research them. If he finds some that resemble a species that grow in his area, then he takes them home and makes sure everything matches the description, right down to the spore print colour.

This is standard procedure.

You talk trash about my post, I said nothing wrong fool.

What was your advise? Sit around and don't do jack shit? Good one dumb dumb, I'm sure it helped him out a lot.

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InvisibleStickyWater
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: HeavyToilet]
    #4716380 - 09/26/05 07:03 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

If it helps, think of it this way, the longer you wait, and the more effort you put into finding them, the better you'll feel once you finaly do get your hands on them, which, if you don't lose interest, will happen eventualy...

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Offlinenovorua
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Registered: 09/19/05
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Loc: Texas
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: StickyWater]
    #4716414 - 09/26/05 07:09 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Honestly bro I suggest trying to talk to him again. Take him out for lunch or something and talk over it. Tell him this truly means a lot to you, and if he can even trip with you(and be a sitter too) it would be wonderful of him. It's worth a shot. Good luck.

PS - Growing in your room is pretty easy man, your parents don't have to know. It's very easy to cover it up, especially if your parents don't go into your room often. This is just an idea.

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Offlinestemmer
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: StickyWater]
    #4716447 - 09/26/05 07:16 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Iv got an idea for picking up some shrooms etc.
Comrad, firstly, that idiot who was about to sell to you should piss you off, and im sorry your not in contact with more shroom growers/dealers. You sound like you should be the first guy to get a bag of em.
Seriously, you should probably by tickets(or not) to a show like *string cheese incident, *moe, almand bros, *grateful dead tour, trey anastasio, widespread panic, *umphrees mcgee, *phil lesh's band's, and actually most raves and wander around in the parking lots.
Some of these groups are really great too so you might even want to buy tickets, but if you make the rounds about shakedown street, you WILL find some shrooms, acid is less likely but still very common(gel tabs are best-if you have not eaten good acid this type, and these places are where to look).
Sorry its so hard for an intelligent guy like yourself.

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Offlinestemmer
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: stemmer]
    #4716453 - 09/26/05 07:17 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Novorua has a good point, you sound like you could persuade anyone including that fool.

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Offlinestemmer
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: stemmer]
    #4716464 - 09/26/05 07:21 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Unless you live on the gulf coast or damn near it, Shroom picking is hard, as cubs(most common and easily identifiable type) dont grow much anywhere else. All other types are far easier to fuck up with when hunting.

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Offlinecomradelucifer
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: stemmer]
    #4716534 - 09/26/05 07:35 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

thank you all so much for your help. Right now, I am just really fucking angry. I should have some of my friends buy from this ass, I should grow- fuck man, I should do all of your suggestions. I wish my friends, that I could just find them. I guess the thing that most bothers me is that he HAD them, a friend of mine had them. And because I was born fucking premature, and because of a little fucking limp, the son of a bitch would not sell. I know I need to get over this, and I know in my soul that one day I WILL have the best fucking shroom experience ever, but it just doesn't take away the goddamn anger. If a black kid or a Jew (sorry if I offend anybody) had asked, would he have sold? I just feel fucking discriminated against man. I'll try to talk to him, but I doubt it'll do anything.

Once again, thank you all for your support and suggestions-I wish you guys could shroom with me.

-CL

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OfflineLysergic_Milkman
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: comradelucifer]
    #4716570 - 09/26/05 07:45 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

HeavyToilet said:
Quote:

coda said:
HT- im sorry but thats PISS POOR advice, especially AFTER he said he didnt want to hunt for them since he cant positively ID them.

FYI dont go picking wild shrooms if you've never seen one in the wild before!!! This is dangerous and could lead you to ingesting a posionous look a like. No offense HT, but seriously, dont advise people to go do something that could get them hurt or killed.





Go back to school and learn English, because obviously you can't understand it.

When did I fucking say he should eat unID'd mushrooms? Duurrrr, NEVER.

What I said was what people do when they go hunting for mushrooms. They figure out what types grow in their area and research them. If he finds some that resemble a species that grow in his area, then he takes them home and makes sure everything matches the description, right down to the spore print colour.

This is standard procedure.

You talk trash about my post, I said nothing wrong fool.

What was your advise? Sit around and don't do jack shit? Good one dumb dumb, I'm sure it helped him out a lot.




You guys need to CHILL OUT. Stop flaming. Not only is it completely pointless and non-productive, but it's against the rules.

Quote:

comradelucifer said:
thank you all so much for your help. Right now, I am just really fucking angry. I should have some of my friends buy from this ass, I should grow- fuck man, I should do all of your suggestions. I wish my friends, that I could just find them. I guess the thing that most bothers me is that he HAD them, a friend of mine had them. And because I was born fucking premature, and because of a little fucking limp, the son of a bitch would not sell. I know I need to get over this, and I know in my soul that one day I WILL have the best fucking shroom experience ever, but it just doesn't take away the goddamn anger. If a black kid or a Jew (sorry if I offend anybody) had asked, would he have sold? I just feel fucking discriminated against man. I'll try to talk to him, but I doubt it'll do anything.

Once again, thank you all for your support and suggestions-I wish you guys could shroom with me.

-CL




This dealer isn't discriminating because he has it out for you, he does so because he's honestly ignorant. You really do need to work this out before you trip. I honestly don't think that you're ready yet. Not until you can forgive a man for being ignorant, because when you do trip, you will find that you were far more ignorant. And if you couldn't forgive another person for their ignorance, then there's no way that you could forgive yourself.

I hate to be so negative, but this thread is going in all the wrong directions.

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Offlinecomradelucifer
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: Lysergic_Milkman]
    #4716625 - 09/26/05 07:56 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

you know what, you are absolutely correct. I do need to realize he was ignorant, and ignorance is not discrimination or even prejudice. He was truly ignorant. He knows nothing of my physical challenge. and I do need to forgive him, and I do need to talk to him.

Thank you Lysergic, that really does help.

also, I have one quick question. By some miracle, my dad is not against growing. Is it legal to possess spores in Michigan-i am confused on this.

Thanks

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OfflineLysergic_Milkman
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: comradelucifer]
    #4716640 - 09/26/05 08:01 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Wow that was fast. Usually it takes much longer for people to get that concept. I was wrong, you are surely ready to trip.  :wink: :thumbup:

Spores are legal in most states because they contain no active chemicals. But once you start growing, it all changes. Mycelium (the "roots"; the white stuff that mushrooms grow out of) does contain psilocybin, so it's illegal.

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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: comradelucifer]
    #4716644 - 09/26/05 08:03 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Hey,

You know you will do shrooms eventually.  Take a breath and smile because of this. 

Spores are legal in Michigan.  Check out the cultivation forums below.  So much knowledge your head may explode.  :smile:

There's nothing like tripping on your OWN shrooms, your first time.  I'm personally very happy I waited to trip on my own home grown.  If the parental figure doesn't care (like you say) then have fun.  :mushroom2:

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Offlineshrooma
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: Lysergic_Milkman]
    #4716813 - 09/26/05 08:36 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Lysergic_Milkman said:
Quote:

HeavyToilet said:
Quote:

coda said:
HT- im sorry but thats PISS POOR advice, especially AFTER he said he didnt want to hunt for them since he cant positively ID them.

FYI dont go picking wild shrooms if you've never seen one in the wild before!!!  This is dangerous and could lead you to ingesting a posionous look a like.  No offense HT, but seriously, dont advise people to go do something that could get them hurt or killed.





Go back to school and learn English, because obviously you can't understand it.

When did I fucking say he should eat unID'd mushrooms? Duurrrr, NEVER.

What I said was what people do when they go hunting for mushrooms. They figure out what types grow in their area and research them. If he finds some that resemble a species that grow in his area, then he takes them home and makes sure everything matches the description, right down to the spore print colour.

This is standard procedure.

You talk trash about my post, I said nothing wrong fool.

What was your advise? Sit around and don't do jack shit? Good one dumb dumb, I'm sure it helped him out a lot.




You guys need to CHILL OUT. Stop flaming. Not only is it completely pointless and non-productive, but it's against the rules.




I'm totally with LM. Everything he has said in this thread is so true and correct.

In my opinion, if you really want to try mushrooms so bad, then they are inevitable... :wink:


--------------------
"[More than] half the people in federal prison are there for drug offences. We're arresting half a million people a year for possessing marijuana. We're locking up kids sometimes for life for their first drug offence. We have no room in our prisons for rapists and child molesters and murderers cause we're filling them up with these non violent drug offenders." - Steven Duke, Yale Law School on 'Hooked: Illegal Drugs and How They Got That Way'
-

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Offlinesublime40oz
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: shrooma]
    #4717003 - 09/26/05 09:12 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

You are very fortunate your pops is ok with you growing in your house. I say grow your own and trip out with your dad. That would be wild. When I graduate college and land a responsible job I am definitely going to invite my dad to my place and put two 8ths of shrooms and a blunt on the table and see what he has to say.


--------------------
Beyond the gray sky

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OfflineMighty Bop
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: sublime40oz]
    #4717058 - 09/26/05 09:19 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

That would be awesome. I wonder what that would be like with my dad. Too weird I think.......


--------------------
I got a buddy with United Fruit, get ya started...

Trade List

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OfflineLysergic_Milkman
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: Mighty Bop]
    #4717089 - 09/26/05 09:24 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

I've never tripped with either of my parents, but i remember the first time i ever smoked pot with my mom.
Me (14 at the time) and my sister were about to smoke a bowl when my mom walks in. I thought, "oh shit, we're busted," but to my suprise, my mom came in, shut the door, sat down, and lit up the first hit.

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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: Mighty Bop]
    #4717091 - 09/26/05 09:24 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

I'll try tripping AROUND my dad one day, and that will be unpleasant enough. Lots of unhappy memories attached to the man.

However, if you are close to your father I imagine it would be SPECTACULAR. I've tripped with my mother-in-law three times and it has drawn us much closer together.

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Offlinestemmer
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: MOTH]
    #4717171 - 09/26/05 09:37 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Ive eaten shrooms with my dad. I didnt expect much, though he is a classic intelligent person. Its not like you might have thought it would be, though im all for experimenting with your own genetic past. This guy trips so hard off of so little that he yanked some primordia of my cakes without asking cause he could have rationalized this given the amount I was growing, and thats just a start. It was less than interesting to be around this well-read couch-patatoe whilst both under the influence. It was interesting, but "most" fathers couldnt even begin to accept the experience so as to delve into it together like most of us can. I was the only one with the inspired capasity to speak, and so on. He was a hell of a science experiment though, and one hell of a trip buddy in a way.

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Offlinestemmer
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: stemmer]
    #4717189 - 09/26/05 09:39 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Experienced dads that havent just had such bad acid trips would be an ideal scenario.

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Offlinesublime40oz
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: stemmer]
    #4717364 - 09/26/05 10:05 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Well my dad smoked pot for 12 or so years and tripped a good amount but hasnt touched anything since the birth of my older brother so I would love to give him a chance to indulge once again. He told me he would smoke with me when I had my life in order (finished college) but the shrooms will be a surprise. We are also very close so I can't wait.


--------------------
Beyond the gray sky

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InvisiblelIllIIIllIlIIlIlIIllIllIIl
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Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 11,123
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: MOTH]
    #4718393 - 09/27/05 01:26 AM (18 years, 6 months ago)

I've never tripped with a family member, but I am completely honest with them regarding the substances I take. They know what I do, though they may not support it or understand it.

Just wait till they're in the old folk's home and I'm in charge of thier medications. :laugh:

It sucks that you can't be a bit more open with your folks. Is there no way you could explain the situation (namely: you've done the research, you know what you're in for and you want to trip.)

If they knew that you were getting the shrooms no matter what, well if they loved you they might try to work with you. Make sure they know they're not addictive and less toxic than caffiene. Throw some facts in like how your stomach is not large enough to overdose on shrooms, that rapid tolerance buildup rules out chronic use, etc.

If you're lucky they might agree to let you grow your own! Doesn't seem like you want to do that though.

Hmmm... otherwise you could wait for another to buy them for you... or just wait period. I understand you're anxious but you don't have many options, man! Stick with it and let us know how you do.

PS - I understand where you're coming from saying you went from atheist to a believer in something beyond what we see. With myself I was not an atheist per se but I just wasn't very spiritual and more or less paid lip service to orginised religion, never taking it seriously. Shrooms have made me into a much more spiritual person, no doubt about it.

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Offlinestemmer
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Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: lIllIIIllIlIIlIlIIllIllIIl]
    #4718491 - 09/27/05 02:07 AM (18 years, 6 months ago)

I dont know, that gif is pretty cool.

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Invisibleindica
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Registered: 08/17/05
Posts: 18,905
Re: pissed...pissed....piss....fuck it [Re: stemmer]
    #4718600 - 09/27/05 03:37 AM (18 years, 6 months ago)

you will get there one day. I too, thought I was never going to find them
I searched for 4 days straight in this one area, then i started to have luck, within 5 minutes i had a bag full of shrooms....
your time will come.

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