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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Military "Attack Dolphins" are missing
    #4713352 - 09/26/05 09:41 AM (18 years, 6 months ago)

This is insane...

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,6903,1577753,00.html


Armed and dangerous - Flipper the firing dolphin let loose by Katrina

by Mark Townsend Houston

Sunday September 25, 2005
The Observer



It may be the oddest tale to emerge from the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Armed dolphins, trained by the US military to shoot terrorists and pinpoint spies underwater, may be missing in the Gulf of Mexico.

Experts who have studied the US navy's cetacean training exercises claim the 36 mammals could be carrying 'toxic dart' guns. Divers and surfers risk attack, they claim, from a species considered to be among the planet's smartest. The US navy admits it has been training dolphins for military purposes, but has refused to confirm that any are missing.

Dolphins have been trained in attack-and-kill missions since the Cold War. The US Atlantic bottlenose dolphins have apparently been taught to shoot terrorists attacking military vessels. Their coastal compound was breached during the storm, sweeping them out to sea. But those who have studied the controversial use of dolphins in the US defence programme claim it is vital they are caught quickly.

Leo Sheridan, 72, a respected accident investigator who has worked for government and industry, said he had received intelligence from sources close to the US government's marine fisheries service confirming dolphins had escaped.

'My concern is that they have learnt to shoot at divers in wetsuits who have simulated terrorists in exercises. If divers or windsurfers are mistaken for a spy or suicide bomber and if equipped with special harnesses carrying toxic darts, they could fire,' he said. 'The darts are designed to put the target to sleep so they can be interrogated later, but what happens if the victim is not found for hours?'

Usually dolphins were controlled via signals transmitted through a neck harness. 'The question is, were these dolphins made secure before Katrina struck?' said Sheridan.

The mystery surfaced when a separate group of dolphins was washed from a commercial oceanarium on the Mississippi coast during Katrina. Eight were found with the navy's help, but the dolphins were not returned until US navy scientists had examined them.

Sheridan is convinced the scientists were keen to ensure the dolphins were not the navy's, understood to be kept in training ponds in a sound in Louisiana, close to Lake Pontchartrain, whose waters devastated New Orleans.

The navy launched the classified Cetacean Intelligence Mission in San Diego in 1989, where dolphins, fitted with harnesses and small electrodes planted under their skin, were taught to patrol and protect Trident submarines in harbour and stationary warships at sea.

Criticism from animal rights groups ensured the use of dolphins became more secretive. But the project gained impetus after the Yemen terror attack on the USS Cole in 2000. Dolphins have also been used to detect mines near an Iraqi port.

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OfflineZooDoggy
Strangerer
Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 63
Loc: Around corner & a ham sandwich
Last seen: 16 years, 10 months
Re: Military "Attack Dolphins" are missing [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4713629 - 09/26/05 10:55 AM (18 years, 6 months ago)

I know who has them........Dr. Evil.  :tongue2:

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OfflineZooDoggy
Strangerer
Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 63
Loc: Around corner & a ham sandwich
Last seen: 16 years, 10 months
Re: Military "Attack Dolphins" are missing [Re: ZooDoggy]
    #4713635 - 09/26/05 10:56 AM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Oh...he took the sharks. nm

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Invisibleafoaf
CEO DBK?
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/08/02
Posts: 32,665
Loc: Ripple's Heart
Re: Military "Attack Dolphins" are missing [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4713773 - 09/26/05 11:29 AM (18 years, 6 months ago)

I got a reach around from a marine mammal this
morning while surfing...

I wonder if this is connected.


--------------------
All I know is The Growery is a place where losers who get banned here go.

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Invisibledownforpot
Stranger
Male
Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 5,715
Re: Military "Attack Dolphins" are missing [Re: afoaf]
    #4714022 - 09/26/05 12:13 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

That's fucking amazing.


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http://www.myspace.com/4th25


"And I don't care if he was handcuffed
Then shot in his head
All I know is dead bodies
Can't fuck with me again"

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Offlinekotik
fuckingsuperhero
 User Gallery
Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 06/29/04
Posts: 3,531
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: Military "Attack Dolphins" are missing [Re: downforpot]
    #4714062 - 09/26/05 12:20 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

post of the week!


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.

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OfflineSirTripAlot
Semper Fidelis
Male User Gallery

Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 7,633
Loc: Harmless (Mostly)
Last seen: 40 minutes, 28 seconds
Re: Military "Attack Dolphins" are missing [Re: kotik]
    #4715030 - 09/26/05 03:15 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Everyone go eat alot of tuna...create a huge demand in the industry...we will find those dolphines in a fish net in no time!


--------------------
“I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

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OfflineAnisotropic
Stranger
Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 538
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
Re: Military "Attack Dolphins" are missing [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4715787 - 09/26/05 05:36 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Good to see the US spends our tax money well...

I still can't figure out if I should laugh or not. Is this real? With all the stupid crap the US government spends money on I could believe it.

I can't find any other satire on there webpage, so I guess this is not a joke....

I'm fucking hoping this is just some journalist going on rumors and trying to sensationalize...

Waste of moneyyy, but I guess if you're the US government who cares, just print more right?

Edited by Anisotropic (09/26/05 05:38 PM)

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OfflineRedstorm
Prince of Bugs
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 10/08/02
Posts: 44,175
Last seen: 5 months, 9 days
Re: Military "Attack Dolphins" are missing [Re: Anisotropic]
    #4715790 - 09/26/05 05:37 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

It is real, but I'm laughing anyways.

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InvisiblelIllIIIllIlIIlIlIIllIllIIl
Stranger

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 11,123
Loc: Texas
Re: Military "Attack Dolphins" are missing [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4716153 - 09/26/05 06:27 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

They should teach the dophins to give blowjobs, that would be better.

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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole

Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 9 months
Re: Military "Attack Dolphins" are missing [Re: lIllIIIllIlIIlIlIIllIllIIl]
    #4716215 - 09/26/05 06:34 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Jesus man have you ever seen their teeth. I mean they got TEEEEEEEEEEEETH. In spades


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Offlineseeingeye
stranger thanyou

Registered: 06/12/05
Posts: 18
Loc: elsewhere
Last seen: 18 years, 2 months
Re: Military "Attack Dolphins" are missing [Re: zappaisgod]
    #4718713 - 09/27/05 05:46 AM (18 years, 6 months ago)



--------------------
"Novus Ordo Seclorum"

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OfflineMagicalMystery
turn off yourmind

Registered: 07/27/05
Posts: 1,740
Loc: Here, there and everywher...
Last seen: 18 years, 4 months
Re: Military "Attack Dolphins" are missing [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4718780 - 09/27/05 07:05 AM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Shooting terrorists.... underwater? With poison darts? Nice to see my tax dollars at work for practical means of defense.


--------------------

"Men trained in arms from their infancy, and animated by the love of liberty, will afford neither a cheap or easy conquest."
From the Declaration of the Continental Congress

"We can have peace and security only as long as we band together to preserve that most priceless possession, our inheritance of European blood."
Charles A. Lindbergh,"Aviation, Geography, and Race", Reader's Digest, Nov. 1939

"We must secure the existance of our people and a future for White children."
David Lane

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