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OfflinePhluck
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Registered: 04/11/99
Posts: 11,393
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 10 months, 6 days
Downtown kids.
    #4704609 - 09/24/05 12:36 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

I was bored so I wrote a description of the drug dealer kids downtown.

------

The usual crowd of sweaty kids in their oversized clothes stood shuffling around in front of the McDonald's. There were nerves all around them because today they were making money, snorting in the side alleys and everyone was cooler and talking bigger than all the others. Sweat glistened powder white down the sides of their faces and their grins and tall attitudes played out as violence and cynicism to the passersby.

The girls were fifteen, sixteen, seventeen and the boys were eighteen, twentyfive, thirty. The girls played whore in tight jeans and skirts, smoking the boy's cigarettes, and bragging about their failures.
Every so often another customer would slide by and there would be a scramble to find out what he wanted and decide who got to make the sale. Their cooperation was tense, the tougher boys forcing their toothy grins past their rivals, and lashing out with a hard, mean sales pitch.

?Listen man, I'm here to help you out. You don't want to buy from the fat kid, his bags are half baby laxative. You'll get the nastiest shits of your life. I get mine FedEx'd from a lab right in Columbia, it's like candy. Pure sugar, man, pure sugar?

Then, a few yelps of ?fuck off!? and some almost good natured shoving, and eventually someone or other makes the sale.

In between customers, when the streets are a bit quieter, pairs duck down between buildings for a quick snort of their own, and they strut back out, hearts pounding, bigger and badder than ever. With the return of each duo, the air got thicker, the passerby's visions of violence began to materialize, slowly, and suspicion and anger and pride blossomed out of the boys eyes and the girls sneers and black shadowed eyes began to made demands in twitch fast movements and snapping lips and teeth sneering and wanting their dues. ?Where were you?? and ?You know you owe me? and ?You promised, you asshole? and ?You'll never fuck me again? and forced, mocking laughter from the boys because the girls all fell for their lies.

Then darkness came and covered up the wholesome illusions of the light and the crowd made their final sales to the early bar hoppers. Then its over, they leave for god knows where, to drink, to wind up for a final rocket fast, red eyed all night stamina kick before crashing into loose, fitful sleep and waking up for another day earning blood money.


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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InvisibleLazyGnome
¬_¬
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Registered: 09/01/05
Posts: 291
Loc: the layer cake
Re: Downtown kids. [Re: Phluck]
    #4704629 - 09/24/05 12:42 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

that was cool


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Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, olny taht the frist and lsat ltteres are at the rghit pcleas. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by ilstef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

"Everything that we know and understand comes down to perception, and by altering this perception we shake everything we know. All that you and I can know and understand is what we can see smell hear think touch and so on, and when something like mushrooms or salvia alters this steady perception, it can break reality permanently." - Dihnekis


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Invisiblegema
Freedom from the Known
 Arcade Champion: Ms. Pacman, Pac Man, Tetris

Registered: 10/24/04
Posts: 1,767
Loc: t(here)
Re: Downtown kids. [Re: LazyGnome]
    #4704676 - 09/24/05 12:57 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

nice. would be interesting to join the group and write from the perspective of a peer.


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OfflinePhluck
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Registered: 04/11/99
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Re: Downtown kids. [Re: gema]
    #4704709 - 09/24/05 01:08 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

Hah... no. Life lesson #1, don't hang out with coke dealers. I've done it before, and I know why it's a BAD idea.


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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OfflineIAmTheWalrus212
LIL WEEZY
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Registered: 07/21/03
Posts: 5,918
Loc: ?
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Re: Downtown kids. [Re: Phluck]
    #4705695 - 09/24/05 04:38 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

I like it.


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InvisibleDirtMcgirt
in a pinch
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Registered: 10/20/04
Posts: 2,213
Loc: city of angels
Re: Downtown kids. [Re: Phluck]
    #4706429 - 09/24/05 07:53 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

I think gema was suggesting that you could write from that perspective, not hang out with drug dealers.


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"And we, inhabitants of the great coral of the Cosmos, believe the atom (which still we cannot see) to be full matter, whereas, it too, like everything else, is but an embroidery of voids in the Void, and we give the name of being, dense and even eternal, to that dance of inconsistencies, that infinite extension that is identified with absolute Nothingness and that spins from its own non-being the illusion of everything."


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Offlined33p
Welcome to Violence

Registered: 07/12/03
Posts: 5,381
Loc: the shores of Tripoli
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
Re: Downtown kids. [Re: Phluck]
    #4706600 - 09/24/05 08:41 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

Thats really good, nice work. And all of you will proably think I'm a wacko but reading that made me miss doing coke. :shrug:


--------------------
I'm a nihilist. Lets be friends.

bang bang


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OfflinePhluck
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Registered: 04/11/99
Posts: 11,393
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 10 months, 6 days
Re: Downtown kids. [Re: DirtMcgirt]
    #4707531 - 09/25/05 12:35 AM (11 years, 2 months ago)

Oh, well that would be perfectly reasonable.


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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InvisibleSimisu
taken by gravity
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Registered: 08/08/03
Posts: 5,310
Loc: Israeli in Flag
Re: Downtown kids. [Re: Phluck]
    #4712932 - 09/26/05 06:22 AM (11 years, 2 months ago)

:thumbup:


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      :sun: Please help spread live Salvia Divinorum :sun:



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InvisibleSoularize
insubordinate and churlish
Male

Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 1,108
Re: Downtown kids. [Re: Phluck]
    #4715542 - 09/26/05 06:52 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

The girls played whore in tight jeans and skirts, smoking the boy's cigarettes, and bragging about their failures.




:thumbup:


{Peace}


--------------------
The man in the black pajamas, Dude. Worthy fuckin' adversary.



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