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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
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Registered: 03/02/05
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Why do piss tests tell you not to flush the toilet?
    #4688065 - 09/20/05 11:42 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Fucking fascist cunts made me take a piss test for some mediocre job today. I should pass but it's conceivable I won't. Why did they tell me not to flush the john?


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What is this? It is a prolate spheroid, an elongated sphere in which the outer leather casing is drawn tightly over a somewhat smaller rubber tubing. Better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football.

-John Heisman

"I didn’t dive on one fumble because the way my leg was (positioned)," Newton told reporters in Charlotte on Tuesday. "It could have been contorted in a way. You say my effort? I didn’t dive down. I fumbled - that’s fine. That’s fine. We didn’t lose the game because of that fumble.”

-Scam Newton


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Offlinedanamine
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Registered: 01/31/05
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Re: Why do piss tests tell you not to flush the toilet? [Re: TheFakeSunRa]
    #4688087 - 09/20/05 11:46 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

so that you couldn't cover up any other noises by flushing the toilet (i.e. diluting your urine with warm water, taking something out of your pocket or opening up something that makes noise). Essentially, they just don't want you to have any way of "covering up" urine dilution, so they control it by telling you to not flush.


--------------------
I love the smell of napalm in the morning...

It smells like, Victory.


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
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Re: Why do piss tests tell you not to flush the toilet? [Re: danamine]
    #4688098 - 09/20/05 11:48 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Is it mic'ed in there or something? Are there hidden cameras?

Fucking fascists!

I was trying to figure out how to beat it in the future.


--------------------
What is this? It is a prolate spheroid, an elongated sphere in which the outer leather casing is drawn tightly over a somewhat smaller rubber tubing. Better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football.

-John Heisman

"I didn’t dive on one fumble because the way my leg was (positioned)," Newton told reporters in Charlotte on Tuesday. "It could have been contorted in a way. You say my effort? I didn’t dive down. I fumbled - that’s fine. That’s fine. We didn’t lose the game because of that fumble.”

-Scam Newton


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
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Registered: 03/02/05
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Re: Why do piss tests tell you not to flush the toilet? [Re: TheFakeSunRa]
    #4688104 - 09/20/05 11:49 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Also I noticed the sink in there was turned off. Good grief


--------------------
What is this? It is a prolate spheroid, an elongated sphere in which the outer leather casing is drawn tightly over a somewhat smaller rubber tubing. Better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football.

-John Heisman

"I didn’t dive on one fumble because the way my leg was (positioned)," Newton told reporters in Charlotte on Tuesday. "It could have been contorted in a way. You say my effort? I didn’t dive down. I fumbled - that’s fine. That’s fine. We didn’t lose the game because of that fumble.”

-Scam Newton


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OfflineInfrared
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Re: Why do piss tests tell you not to flush the toilet? [Re: TheFakeSunRa]
    #4688145 - 09/20/05 11:55 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

yea.. when i went some black bitch put blue water in the toilet (so they can tell if its been flushed).. and told me not to flush it


--------------------
When chemistry is outlawed.. Only outlaws have chemistry:rainbowdrink:


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
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Re: Why do piss tests tell you not to flush the toilet? [Re: Infrared]
    #4688164 - 09/20/05 11:58 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

there's probably already threads on it but i'd love tips on how to go in there with some clean urine and packed away and get away with it..

it doesnt seem like it would be that hard


What color was that bitch again? j/k


--------------------
What is this? It is a prolate spheroid, an elongated sphere in which the outer leather casing is drawn tightly over a somewhat smaller rubber tubing. Better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football.

-John Heisman

"I didn’t dive on one fumble because the way my leg was (positioned)," Newton told reporters in Charlotte on Tuesday. "It could have been contorted in a way. You say my effort? I didn’t dive down. I fumbled - that’s fine. That’s fine. We didn’t lose the game because of that fumble.”

-Scam Newton


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InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
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Re: Why do piss tests tell you not to flush the toilet? [Re: Infrared]
    #4688192 - 09/21/05 12:06 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Ah.. I never understood that either. Last time I had to take a piss test (for a job last year) I went in with a plastic baggie full of my little brothers piss secured in a pair of regular white underwear. Had one of those heat pads you can buy at the drug store attatched to my underwear. Worked great. Good thing I didnt make much noise. I just pulled it out, took the pin out of my pants, ripped the baggie and filled the jar, put the rest of the piss in the toilet, and put the baggie back in my underwear. :grin: Best way to pass a piss test IMO. Worked for myself and one of my good friends using my little brothers piss.


--------------------
m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.


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Invisiblepeeper
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Registered: 01/07/05
Posts: 1,423
Loc: Tennessee
Re: Why do piss tests tell you not to flush the toilet? [Re: THE KRAT BARON]
    #4688199 - 09/21/05 12:08 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

I've always used a condom. I'm afraid a bag will bust.


--------------------


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
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Re: Why do piss tests tell you not to flush the toilet? [Re: peeper]
    #4688213 - 09/21/05 12:11 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Great tips guys. Thanks.


Keep blazin'

Fuck the man and this Orwellian fascist bullshit!


--------------------
What is this? It is a prolate spheroid, an elongated sphere in which the outer leather casing is drawn tightly over a somewhat smaller rubber tubing. Better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football.

-John Heisman

"I didn’t dive on one fumble because the way my leg was (positioned)," Newton told reporters in Charlotte on Tuesday. "It could have been contorted in a way. You say my effort? I didn’t dive down. I fumbled - that’s fine. That’s fine. We didn’t lose the game because of that fumble.”

-Scam Newton


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InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
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Re: Why do piss tests tell you not to flush the toilet? [Re: peeper]
    #4688215 - 09/21/05 12:11 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Yeah you have to be very careful with a bag. I used a ziplock bag, secured within another ziplock bag. It was sketchy and a little of my brothers piss got on me after I put the baggies back in my underwear, accompanied by the uncomfortable feeling of regular underwear which I cannot stand, but it was well worth it, I got the job and didnt have to stop smoking for even a day. Matter of fact I smoked on the way to the test and took a hit in the parking lot before walking into the doctors office. :shrug: :grin:


--------------------
m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.


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Invisiblepeeper
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Registered: 01/07/05
Posts: 1,423
Loc: Tennessee
Re: Why do piss tests tell you not to flush the toilet? [Re: THE KRAT BARON]
    #4688221 - 09/21/05 12:13 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

That is the only way to do it. It keeps you relaxed.


--------------------


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
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Re: Why do piss tests tell you not to flush the toilet? [Re: THE KRAT BARON]
    #4688239 - 09/21/05 12:15 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

"Matter of fact I smoked on the way to the test and took a hit in the parking lot before walking into the doctors office."

Dude, that rocks so fucking hard! Killer! That's the spirit all-the-way! High as fuck taking a piss test! That is cooler than cool. Right on!!!


--------------------
What is this? It is a prolate spheroid, an elongated sphere in which the outer leather casing is drawn tightly over a somewhat smaller rubber tubing. Better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football.

-John Heisman

"I didn’t dive on one fumble because the way my leg was (positioned)," Newton told reporters in Charlotte on Tuesday. "It could have been contorted in a way. You say my effort? I didn’t dive down. I fumbled - that’s fine. That’s fine. We didn’t lose the game because of that fumble.”

-Scam Newton


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InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
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Re: Why do piss tests tell you not to flush the toilet? [Re: peeper]
    #4688241 - 09/21/05 12:15 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Indeed it does. :smile: It also gives you that satisfaction that you are in control of the situation not your employer or the government. :thumbup:


--------------------
m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.


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OfflineInfrared
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Re: Why do piss tests tell you not to flush the toilet? [Re: THE KRAT BARON]
    #4688249 - 09/21/05 12:17 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

:rockon:


--------------------
When chemistry is outlawed.. Only outlaws have chemistry:rainbowdrink:


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
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Re: Why do piss tests tell you not to flush the toilet? [Re: Infrared]
    #4688492 - 09/21/05 01:10 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

How long yall figure you can keep piss stored up before they know something's up? Maybe I should I fill up a few rubbers before I blaze the next one.

BTW, I'm about to suck down some nitrous... word

and I got some salvia


--------------------
What is this? It is a prolate spheroid, an elongated sphere in which the outer leather casing is drawn tightly over a somewhat smaller rubber tubing. Better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football.

-John Heisman

"I didn’t dive on one fumble because the way my leg was (positioned)," Newton told reporters in Charlotte on Tuesday. "It could have been contorted in a way. You say my effort? I didn’t dive down. I fumbled - that’s fine. That’s fine. We didn’t lose the game because of that fumble.”

-Scam Newton


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Invisiblepeeper
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Registered: 01/07/05
Posts: 1,423
Loc: Tennessee
Re: Why do piss tests tell you not to flush the toilet? [Re: TheFakeSunRa]
    #4688522 - 09/21/05 01:16 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

I have read that it starts to deteriorate after 18 hours but it would have to stay longer than that refrigerated. How else would they send it to a lab?


--------------------


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
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Re: Why do piss tests tell you not to flush the toilet? [Re: peeper]
    #4688587 - 09/21/05 01:32 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Oh these nitrous hits are far out!

Piss in my fridge?

but the i have to give samples on a random thing surprise system

u gotta get it warm?

what do they measure the temp?

what do they got against me blazin'?


--------------------
What is this? It is a prolate spheroid, an elongated sphere in which the outer leather casing is drawn tightly over a somewhat smaller rubber tubing. Better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football.

-John Heisman

"I didn’t dive on one fumble because the way my leg was (positioned)," Newton told reporters in Charlotte on Tuesday. "It could have been contorted in a way. You say my effort? I didn’t dive down. I fumbled - that’s fine. That’s fine. We didn’t lose the game because of that fumble.”

-Scam Newton


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Invisiblepeeper
Stranger

Registered: 01/07/05
Posts: 1,423
Loc: Tennessee
Re: Why do piss tests tell you not to flush the toilet? [Re: TheFakeSunRa]
    #4688615 - 09/21/05 01:38 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Well then you just need to get fresh pee from someone else or synthetic pee.There is a tempature strip on the side of some of the cups.


They don't want you to have any fun. That's what they do. They are the fun police!


--------------------


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Offlinericyjo
I'm a teapot

Registered: 07/22/02
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Re: Why do piss tests tell you not to flush the toilet? [Re: peeper]
    #4688664 - 09/21/05 01:49 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

they tell you not to flush so they know you actually pissed.

they know that once you start pissing, you can't stop until your bladder completely drains.

The amount you piss always exceeds the sample volume of the cups they use.

They know about the 'clean piss in a condom' trick and this is why they don't work. The person giving the test listens for a steady stream into the toilet and also checks the toilet afterwards as additional proof you actually pissed. They also take a one-time initial temperature reading when the sample is taken and it must be within a certain range or they will ask for another sample. You must also be done with the whole process within a reasonable time frame.

The only way those work is if you simultaneously fill the sample with the clean piss while you actually do piss... everyone knows that right?....


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
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Re: Why do piss tests tell you not to flush the toilet? [Re: ricyjo]
    #4688711 - 09/21/05 02:01 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Fuck it takes me a little longer than average to get a piss flowin

I have to stand there a bit

and i can and do stop mid stream

i read that the middle of the piss is less 'toxic' than near the beginning or the end so i filled it once then changed my mind dumped it and refilled... stopping midstream during the dumpage


--------------------
What is this? It is a prolate spheroid, an elongated sphere in which the outer leather casing is drawn tightly over a somewhat smaller rubber tubing. Better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football.

-John Heisman

"I didn’t dive on one fumble because the way my leg was (positioned)," Newton told reporters in Charlotte on Tuesday. "It could have been contorted in a way. You say my effort? I didn’t dive down. I fumbled - that’s fine. That’s fine. We didn’t lose the game because of that fumble.”

-Scam Newton


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