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OfflineMJF
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Self-monitoring
    #4670822 - 09/16/05 07:24 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

To what degree do you change your behavior in different social situations?
You may choose only one
Completely change
Change significantly
Change a little
Do not change at all


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OfflineMJF
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Re: Self-monitoring [Re: MJF]
    #4670857 - 09/16/05 07:43 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

Why are high self-monitors said to change their behavior under different circumstances and low self-monitors stay the same?

It almost seems like the high self-monitors are more likely to put up false fronts more often and really aren't that aware of themselves. Or maybe self-monitoring has nothing to do with self-awareness.

I want to believe that between a high self-monitor and a low self-monitor, one is not better over the other.


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
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Re: Self-monitoring [Re: MJF]
    #4671524 - 09/16/05 11:09 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

One should change as the situation dictates. Being fluid is an advantage.


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


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OfflineMJF
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Re: Self-monitoring [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #4671533 - 09/16/05 11:12 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

So you think it is better to be a "high self-monitor."

How much do you think Ghandi, or Buddha, or Jesus...changed from situation to situation?


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
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Re: Self-monitoring [Re: MJF]
    #4671545 - 09/16/05 11:15 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

Yes. I didn't know those guys so I cannot tell, but Buddhism proclaims the virtue of being open to change...I think they frown on extreme attachment to ideas, objects, or people.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


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OfflineMJF
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Re: Self-monitoring [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #4671572 - 09/16/05 11:22 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

What if the ones that seem to not change are actually the most fluid?

I mean you can be a personality...take Austin Icon..Lesli (don't know if I'm spelling his name right) for example.....he's the same all the time....but he's still fluid in ever situation.

To me changing in the situation means putting on a different act/mask almost. Like the difference in being in your principle's office and the play ground....or a funeral and wedding reception.

I think maybe all that needs to be changes are ones responses....but not any different in how they would respond if they same thing were present in another group/environment.


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
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Re: Self-monitoring [Re: MJF]
    #4671623 - 09/16/05 11:36 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

I did not say be fake or lie...I said adapt. I also do not believe in giving others a false impression of me by building up an image that I must live up or down to. I am a mystery to myself so why should I fool others into believing that I am not a mystery. To do otherwise is merely self importance and clinging to personal history. So, I change as I see fit. Why must one be predictable to be considered honest? Giving the impression of being predictable leaves you at the mercy of the manipulations of others...it is also a lie.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: Self-monitoring [Re: MJF]
    #4671666 - 09/16/05 11:46 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

As far as I can tell, I simply do not forcibly expel farts in public places. I did not wear a suit and tie to either of my parents' funerals, but I have worn one to weddings - particularly if I was asked to be best man. Nowdays, I simply decline invitations to affairs where suits or tuxedos are 'supposed' to be worn. I am not a good dancer, the life of a party, or given to swap my Lady. Suffice to say, these are good reasons from a conventional point of view why I have very little social life.  :tongue:


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
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Re: Self-monitoring [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #4671680 - 09/16/05 11:48 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

Fuck social life. I try to be respectful, but I do not concern myself with social convention for it's own sake.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


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OfflineMJF
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Re: Self-monitoring [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #4671706 - 09/16/05 11:54 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

:rotfl: "as far as you can tell"?


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OfflineMJF
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Re: Self-monitoring [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #4671721 - 09/16/05 11:56 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

I don't think what "suit" you're wearing for the day should have anything to do with how you behave.


Edited by MJF (09/16/05 11:57 PM)


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Offlinefalcon
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Re: Self-monitoring [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #4671754 - 09/17/05 12:04 AM (11 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

I simply do not forcibly expel farts in public places




I do not either, but I consider it one of the great arts when done well.


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Offlineleery11
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Re: Self-monitoring [Re: falcon]
    #4674004 - 09/17/05 02:33 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

if you do not have a rigid personality you can be completely fluid to acting different as the situation necessitates, rather than being rigid, stubborn, and harming your ego.

example..... you don't like hillbillies and you don't like sports. But you're sitting at a table and ESPN is on and some good old boy comes up and tries to be friendly to you.

the ego/personality reaction would be to blow him off like "yeah...." the fluid reaction would be to engage him and then try and find something common that you can both exchange upon.... not to fake interest in sports but to see that he had some sort of interest in talking to you, and that you can use this to both your advantages, but it requires speaking and acting and saying things that you may not be prone to in other situations.

i think you can totally change your self from situation to situation without being fake.... I mean... if a cop pulls you over and you don't want a ticket, you can just treat him like he's a friendly stranger and think about how even though you'd be pissed off as fuck if he gave you a ticket..... that doesn't mean he's necessarily an asshole... and he may have joined the force as an act of compassion to try to save lives, but is stuck with mandatory traffic duty right now.

so instead of being rigid and arrogant you can just be open to him and he'd be less likely to get you a ticket, but it's not about being fake, it's about finding something worth being sincere about in every situation.

and i think a buddhist might say the same thing.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


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