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Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 1,839
Bush outsourced
    #4670211 - 09/16/05 04:23 PM (11 years, 1 month ago)

WASHINGTON - Congress today announced that the office of President of the
United States of America will be outsourced to overseas interests as of August
31st. The move is being made to save not only a significant portion of the
President's $400,000.00 yearly salary, but also a record $521 billion in deficit
expenditures and related overhead.
> "We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should be
significant," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-Wash.). Reynolds, with the
aid of the Government Accountability Office, has studied outsourcing of American
jobs extensively.
> "We cannot expect to remain competitive on the world stage with the current
level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.
> Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his termination. Preparations
for the job move have been underway for some time. Gurvinder Singh of Indus
Teleservices, Mumbai, India will be assuming the office of President as of
September 1st. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents
were vacationing at Niagara Falls, thus making him eligible for The position. He
will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no health coverage or other
> It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities
without support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India, he
will be working primarily at night, when few offices of the US Government will
be open.
> "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the American Express call
center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am excited about this
position. I always hoped I would be President someday." A Congressional
Spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues
involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem. Mr. Singh
will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most
topics of concern. Using this tree, he can address common concerns without
having to understand the underlying issues at all.
> "We know these scripting tools work," stated the Spokesperson. "Mr. Bush has
used them successfully for years."
> Mr. Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final
day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he will be Eligible for
$240 dollars a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be
eligible for Medicaid as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed
> Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help
him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to
Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new position due to
limited practical work experience. One possibility is re-enlistment in the Air
National Guard. Should he choose this option, he would likely be stationed in
Iraq, a country he has visited.
> "I've been there, I know all about Iraq," stated Mr. Bush, who gained
invaluable knowledge of the country in a visit to the Baghdad Airport's terminal
and gift shop.
> Sources in Baghdad and Falluja say Mr. Bush would receive a warm reception
from local Iraqis. They have asked to be provided with details of his arrival so
that they might arrange an appropriate welcome.
> Barbara Sorensen
> Winds of Change magazine
> 4450 Arapahoe Ave. Ste 100
> Boulder, CO 80303
> (303) 448-8853
> www.wocmag.org <http://www.wocmag.org/>

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Mr. I Eat Butthole
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/21/05
Posts: 24,543
Loc: The Wang
Re: Bush outsourced [Re: Alex213]
    #4670345 - 09/16/05 04:56 PM (11 years, 1 month ago)

i know how he could benefit us all, bite down on a cyanide pill.

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in Government." 
~Thomas Jefferson

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.
~George Washington

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Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 376
Loc: Inside my head
Last seen: 11 years, 1 month
Re: Bush outsourced [Re: LeftyBurnz]
    #4670830 - 09/16/05 07:28 PM (11 years, 1 month ago)

Bush needs to be outsourced to a war crimes tribunal.

Think for yourself. Question authority.

Forgiveness is the ultimate sacrifice.

You can fool some people sometimes, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

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Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 731
Re: Bush outsourced [Re: Sycronica]
    #4670869 - 09/16/05 07:47 PM (11 years, 1 month ago)

I voted for Bush as revenge against the all the people who hate him.

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