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lifestyle choices
    #465891 - 11/21/01 08:00 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

I don't really know how this fits with spirituality and philosohpy, but i want honest answers and opinions, and we all know that those aren't found on OTD...

(I'm just going to ramble and hope that maybe someone can gleen something resembling coherence from this)

I seem to cycle through everything in life... interests in activities, types of music, substances of choice, people, happiness, depression, everything.... one of my largest, on-going cycles is between sobriety and indulgence. I'm not asking for a lecture on moderation, i know how to do it, i've done it before, but this goes beyond that.

i seem to enjoy two very distinct lifestyles... one of complete and totally drug-indulgisms (absolutely not caring about grades, futures, what i'm wearing, money, etc;;; smokin, trippin, playing music,listening to music, becomes my life) when in this mode, i feel content that i could live the rest of my life that way and be content... get a job that can support my musical interests and pay the bills, live in a little cabin somewhere and stay high and play music all the time. that would be the life. but at the same time, i feel like i would be letting SO many people down (despite my problems with cynism, i've always been a person who MUST make EVERYONE happy...) because of my 'potential' (iq, act scores, gpa, etc, all dictate that i should go ivy league and be a highly specialized doctor or lawyer or something)
What would mom tell people? dad? grandma? etc... my family is very fucked up, i'm supposed to be the one that proves that we are normal or whatever... i dunno..

so, sometimes (usually) out of guilt, i'll go stone sober. i've been basically sober now for two months (been high maybe five times, drank maybe twice) and i feel like this is all fake. i'm 'involved' so much more in things (acting, school, community service, student mock gov) basically a bunch of shit to look good on college applications. i try to stay busy because "it's fun!" but in reality, i know that i'm staying busy so i won't be depressed (not because of lack of drugs, because i know this isn't how i want to live my life, or at least i'm not sure that it is). i feel like that i'm missing the best yrs of my life (high schooL) for some vague 'bright future' people are always telling me about.

I know about moderation; i also know that plenty of successful people are full-time heads. but i also know myself. i do something, i go all the way... i'm either gonna be a head or doctor... and right now i'm too confused to make that decision, but now is when i have to make it... i say fuck it all and go back to being a head, it will be too late to turn around and get those grades to go to Yale or whatever... or if i stick it out, get through med school, then see that i hate the 'normal' life, i can't go back and relive my HS yrs...

any lectures, advice, whatever.... i'm confused and quickly spiriling into depression...

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Re: lifestyle choices [Re: ]
    #465909 - 11/21/01 08:24 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

ok man I had much the same problem for many years, and my parents constantly said "keep your options open" which to them meant "study real hard lots and lots so you can get any particular high-paying well-respected job you like".

I was never really with it but just sort of took it for granted i'd go to university and then get some job paying lots of money, never really thought which, thought a doctor'd be pretty cool and then came round to the idea of engineering, since i reckon civil engineering is some pretty darn useful knowledge!

but fuck that there's no way i'm going to be an engineer! well scrap that there's no way i'm going to get an engineering degree!

but dude GET EDUCATED!!!! get high play music but go to college and try things out, study physics!! study maths study language study archaeology anthropology music! art! philosophy botany zoology, get a degree if you want...

of course none of this is necessary. but going to college will make your family happy, and if you go and try different things you will surely find many things you want to learn....no need to go becoming a lawyer!

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Re: lifestyle choices [Re: Traveller]
    #465939 - 11/21/01 08:53 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Just remember, you can change your mind at any time. You don't have to plan out the rest of your life and set it in stone. Live spontaneously. Get an education, because you'll find learning is an activity that keeps your brain active which can help with depression. But music soothes the soul, and drugs well..... you already know what they do.


to understand other people….to be aware
to understand animals….to be a decent person
to understand plants….. to be a refined individual
to understand the mushroom…to be enlightened

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Re: lifestyle choices [Re: ]
    #465964 - 11/21/01 09:30 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

hIGH scholl is shit compared to the rest of your life. Fuck, university is almost 1000x times beter already...

Not to pass any judgement on you, but it seems as though youre living two lifestyles when you could be living one comfortably. Compromise is key. If living the life of a pothead means you'll have to setlle for being a GP instead of a brain surgeon (just an example) than be a smoker GP!
If doing the drugs REALLY means that much to you, and living that kid of lifestyle is what you want than go for it. But i reccomned youre going to have to do some reflection in your life before you make any big decisions.
You gotta ask yourself questions about your shit, and answer critically cause the only way you'll ever make the right decisions in life is by being truthful to yourself.
an example... "Are my drug indulgences and careless attitudes genuine feelings or are they a result of a rebellion against something????"
or "What do i want out of my life? Where is this path taking me?" thats important cause you need to find a center.

Whatever you ask yourself, really think about it.
This all probably sounds lame, but fuck man it works. I used to go through the same thing. When i really thought about it I found that I was resorting to that shit as a type of rebellion. Folks were pushing me too hard. I was getting lazy too, I didnt really care about much other than chilling.

How old are you by the way, if you dont mind me asking???

"I mean, it's real hard to be free when you are bought and sold in the marketplace. 'Course, don't ever tell anybody that they're not free 'cause then they're gonna get real busy killin' and maimin' to prove to you that they are."

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OfflineMighty Bop
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Re: lifestyle choices [Re: TheCaptain]
    #466011 - 11/21/01 10:41 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

I I used to not give a care about anything and got drunk and high almost every other nite. My thinking was that I could die tomorrow so I might as well have fun now. But, I never did "die tomorrow". It just ended up being another day of the same old stuff. After awhile it just got old. Smoking and drinking with the same guy since high school, and high school was about 7 years ago! I would go through cycles of work/no drugs to no work/drugs over and over. It is only now that my "friend" and I have drifted apart that I am really concentrating on my future. Before I really didn't have a plan. Now I do. It's kinda like my "friend" and I would be relieved by the fact that we were kinda in the same boat, and at least we knew someone like that. Anyways, that's my little story.

I say you gotta look at your future. Even though yes, we never know when we are gonna die, it never seems to happen anytime soon. That's why you should plan for your future. Where do you want to see yourself 10 years from now. (I always hated that question when somebody asked me that back in the days, but now I realize....) One thing I think about though is that if I do happen to die unexpectedly, my family will definitely go through my things. That's why I need to get rid of the porn on my computer, etc. These are some things I think about. I would like to leave earth knowing that people thought good of me, if anything.

Anyways, for your situation, I would just say do what you think would make you happy. Not necessarily your parents, but you. Make a plan and go for it. Anyways, hope I helped... I think I strayed off the subject though...oops

"One attaineth whatever state of being one thinketh about at the last when relinquishing the body, being ever absorbed in the thought thereof." - Sri Krishna to Arjuna, Bhagavad Gita, viii, 6

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Re: lifestyle choices [Re: ]
    #466064 - 11/21/01 11:35 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Every man born in my family on both sides for the last 100 and 150+ years were trained in theology and philosophy to the level of PhDs and mulitple MAs. The same is marked to the oldest known relatives on record. They were scholars, preachers, professors, and graduate school administrators. My brother has followed this path, and our cousins come from families that do the same.

All that, and I, the great hope of inherating the family genius, turn out to be a pot head. Anyway, I'm not one to be one upped, even by my family, so I just kept going to school, learning.

When these guys say that keeping your mind busy and becoming educated is a good idea I will do the same. I'm 23 and will make my proposal for my second masters degree in 16 days. This time in Art. Artists are cultually immune to distane from sober people.

Don't give me any of the same bull shit everyone gives like, "I suck a drawing." God made every human is capable of expression. Whatever it is that you groove with, whether its being a lawyer, a potter, an engineer, or what-have-you do something that you can develop a passion for, something that you probably already have interest in but need to explore further.

GO GET A DEGREE! College students are imune from certain rules, go smoke some weed without fear for four years, or more.

Try defining human nature.
Any luck?

There are endless possibilities in life. Realize it, live it, analyze it, experience it, understand it, tell future generations about it but, not before you're ready to. oh yeah, and don't get messed up in any of that virgin mary crap, Jesus had brothers didn't he.

"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
- Albert Einstein

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Re: lifestyle choices [Re: ]
    #466196 - 11/22/01 01:46 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Your life is what you make of it. Everyone is looking for the ever elusive "happiness". People look for it in materialistic pursuits. Drugs, sex, and money are just surface pleasures.

Contentment is what I look for. I ask myself "Am I content with they way I am?". If i can answer "yes" to this question I don't try and change anything in my life. I remain content to trip balls once in a while, and live my life, go to work and pay my bills. If you expect too much of yourself you will be constantly unhappy. If you come from a family that has lots of college education, they will expect you to do better than they did because they have guilty consciences. Go to college and learn something you like or have a deep interest in. Don't do something because you think it will make your parents happy. I wasted two years of my life in college pursuing something that I wasn't really interested in. I should have gone into Para-psychology instead of Microprocessing. Just remember it's your life and your the one that is going to have to live it, not anyone else.


To do a thing and know no better is ignorance.
It is an act of kindness to educate the ignorant.
To do a wrong thing intentionally, is evil and wicked.

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Re: lifestyle choices [Re: Traveller]
    #466265 - 11/22/01 02:43 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Good advice.

I think the key is to get an education, which is very useful in this world (in terms of getting a job to support yourself), but goddamn it, study something you E N J O Y.

As for drug use and such... hmmm that's a tough question. I think you have to relearn how to use in moderation. Maybe take a really long break from substances, then go back, slowly.

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General Interest >> Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology

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