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InvisibleSweetJimmyBrown
Infidel Zombie
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Registered: 08/31/04
Posts: 337
Loc: 'starting north, slowly h...
Squirrels... The saga continues.
    #4644901 - 09/11/05 05:22 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

They are attacking my melons. there are gnaw marks on the smaller ones and I'm looking for a way to protect them from this barrage of dirty foraging beasts. I was thinking of making mesh boxes for them but does anyone have any folk remedies or something of the like? I'm also thinking of land mines but I'm pretty sure they'll figure out my configuration sooner or later. I am also doing some cost/benefit calculations on posting a few 24 hour machine gun nests around the perimeter but I'm getting hung up trying to get the surplus M-60's. 50 callibers are no sweat but I need something with a higher rate of fire.

Thanks in advance.


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Ille dolet vere, qui sine teste dolet.
* * *
I'm as calm as a fruit stand in New york and maybe as strange.
* * *
Simple Grain Recipe


Edited by SweetJimmyBrown (09/12/05 05:11 AM)


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Offlinenonphixion
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Re: Squirrels are after me [Re: SweetJimmyBrown]
    #4645041 - 09/11/05 09:00 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

So... what exactly is your question?


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InvisiblePsychoChipmunk
Small, Furry, Disturbed

Registered: 01/08/05
Posts: 389
Loc: A hole in your back yard
Re: Squirrels are after me [Re: nonphixion]
    #4645080 - 09/11/05 09:37 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

You should buy protection from one of the other local rodent mafia families.


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\m/


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Offlinepshawny
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Re: Squirrels are after me [Re: PsychoChipmunk]
    #4645271 - 09/11/05 11:11 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

You can hire me to sit outside and chase them off  :grin:


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OfflineSigno
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Re: Squirrels are after me [Re: pshawny]
    #4646763 - 09/11/05 06:32 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

You can try buying one of those plastic owls and perch it in your tree. You have to scare them away.


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Correlation is not causation!


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Offline100
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Registered: 09/06/05
Posts: 22
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Re: Squirrels are after me [Re: Signo]
    #4648026 - 09/11/05 11:21 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

get the pellet gun


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where has all the Phencyclidine gone???


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OfflineSchwip
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Re: Squirrels are after me [Re: SweetJimmyBrown]
    #4648675 - 09/12/05 01:55 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

they seem to dislike hot stuff........

try spraying your fruits with hot suace and water from a spray bottle of something


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--------------------------------

" If the sky were to suddenly open up there would be no law. There would be no rule. There would only be you and your memories... the choices you've made, and the people you've touched. If this world were to end there would only be you and him and no-one else. "

..............

"MAN! You know there aint no such thing as left over crack!"



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InvisibleSweetJimmyBrown
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Registered: 08/31/04
Posts: 337
Loc: 'starting north, slowly h...
Re: Squirrels are after me [Re: Schwip]
    #4649181 - 09/12/05 04:55 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

My neighborhood also has an enormous rat problem (read: a big problem, but yes, the rats themselves are quite large as well). Do you guys think they may be the culprits? In anycase I'm going with a Nixon style non-stop carpet bombing of the neighborhood and it's surrounding areas.


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Ille dolet vere, qui sine teste dolet.
* * *
I'm as calm as a fruit stand in New york and maybe as strange.
* * *
Simple Grain Recipe


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InvisibleSweetJimmyBrown
Infidel Zombie
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Registered: 08/31/04
Posts: 337
Loc: 'starting north, slowly h...
Re: Squirrels are after me [Re: SweetJimmyBrown]
    #4649192 - 09/12/05 05:10 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

Quick update-

Squirrels have taken nibbles out of my Astrophytums :frown:

I understand the watermelon. It didn't bother me so much because I was expecting aborted fruits or at least infestation... but my cacti... that's below the belt. Why did I put them on the roof? Why did I separate them from their comrades? At least in a group they could have put up a decent defensive until the airstrikes were called in.

Keep them in your prayers. I have not yet begun to fight! :sniper:


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Ille dolet vere, qui sine teste dolet.
* * *
I'm as calm as a fruit stand in New york and maybe as strange.
* * *
Simple Grain Recipe


Edited by SweetJimmyBrown (09/12/05 05:14 AM)


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InvisibleToolTroll
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Registered: 08/02/04
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Re: Squirrels are after me [Re: SweetJimmyBrown]
    #4654257 - 09/13/05 11:28 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

Yeah, my problem is a family of groundhogs that have eaten pretty much every non-weed in my garden. They even climb up the 2.5 foot tall wire fence to gnaw on my morning glories. I had no idea groundhogs could climb fences. :crazy:
I like the land mine idea, myself, if only to see gopher guts everywhere. Actually I've considered live traps, though that probably wouldn't help with your squirrel problem. I also tried pissing around the perimeter and sprinkling cayenne powder around the perimeter, no dice. :frown:


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"This whole idea that different is bad, that a change in consciousness is in itself harmful, is really one of the fundamental problems inherent in the drug war.” - Rick Doblin
my cactus collection
You vote with your dollars. Everyday. Vote responsibly.


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InvisibleSweetJimmyBrown
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Registered: 08/31/04
Posts: 337
Loc: 'starting north, slowly h...
Re: Squirrels are after me [Re: ToolTroll]
    #4656432 - 09/13/05 08:14 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

I'm using a homemade pepper extract right now. It may be working but the squirrels just might be winding down. We just went through a cold coupole of days and they might have gotten the fear of winter in their bones but it's warming up now and i haven't heard a peep in almost a day.

On a related note allied forces have captured an enemy combatant. My cat, Pooky caught a smallish rabbit and gave him to me, unharmed. I would have to say that it was awesome. He caught it and climbed up a 3-foot fence with the bugger in his mouth, climbed in an open window and let him go in my bedroom. Frickin awesome. I would have kept him as a pet, er POW but my conscience made me let him go free.


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Ille dolet vere, qui sine teste dolet.
* * *
I'm as calm as a fruit stand in New york and maybe as strange.
* * *
Simple Grain Recipe


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OfflineCptnGarden
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Registered: 05/13/04
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Re: Squirrels are after me [Re: SweetJimmyBrown]
    #4656458 - 09/13/05 08:22 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

sit in a tree by your garden with a blowdart gun

make some belladonna berry paste for poison :lol:, very effective at killing big rodents :thumbup: but dont poke yourself or expect an early grave. (if u do this for reals, be sure to dispose of the dead body if u can, an animal might eat it :frown:  )

I used to shoot squirrels that would gnaw at my garden, with my BB gun. If you put in a flat tipped pellet and give it 20 pumps, it totaly pwns them. Headshots are the shit if your a good marksman. I guarantee if you leave the dead squirrel carcass in your garden, more squirrels wont come bother your crop...

Squirrel iz teh pwnz'd.


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InvisibleSweetJimmyBrown
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Re: Squirrels are after me [Re: CptnGarden]
    #4658519 - 09/14/05 07:19 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

I'm an excellent marksmen proficient at "pwnz"-ing targets, but have ethical reservations about killing animals/some humans in a direct sort of manner. Landmines... right on, but a gun... I'm now thinking of training an army of stray cats/zombies to guard my house.

Any vendors who carry stray cats or house-trained zombies for a fair price?

Anywho thanks for the advice, I'll use the datura dart thing next time I see any human tresspassers and make some DIY zombies Serpent and the Rainbow style and throw a few up on the Marketplace.

TALLY:
Squirrels: 1 watermellon, 1 Astrophytum asterias, 1 A. myriostigma, 1 Zinnia stem.
Sweet Jimmy B: 1 Rabbit, 1 sack full of nuts.


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Ille dolet vere, qui sine teste dolet.
* * *
I'm as calm as a fruit stand in New york and maybe as strange.
* * *
Simple Grain Recipe


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OfflineCptnGarden
fuck this site
Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 11,945
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
Re: Squirrels are after me [Re: SweetJimmyBrown]
    #4659853 - 09/14/05 02:35 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

"I'll use the datura dart thing next time I see any human tresspassers "

my advice was meant for use on rodents :lol:

shooting a human with anything (even a rubber band) is a good way to end up in jail :thumbup:

and belladonna is of course gnarlz poisonous.


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InvisibleSweetJimmyBrown
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Registered: 08/31/04
Posts: 337
Loc: 'starting north, slowly h...
Re: Squirrels are after me [Re: CptnGarden]
    #4668729 - 09/16/05 07:43 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

"and make some DIY zombies Serpent and the Rainbow style and throw a few up on the Marketplace." is the rest of that statement. You can read it, then read your last reply, and then compare the humor and level of seriousness of both and watch these things become something larger than the sum of it's parts. :smile:


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Ille dolet vere, qui sine teste dolet.
* * *
I'm as calm as a fruit stand in New york and maybe as strange.
* * *
Simple Grain Recipe


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
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