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Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 1,040
Just a Mix of Mess
    #4635097 - 09/08/05 08:41 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Hi, I'm an occasional poster on these boards, and I'm hoping to find some good advice cuz Im just a mess right now.

Currently Im a junior at temple university, and am looking forward to finishing school as fast as I can. I came to this university w/ my best friend, had a real wild first year, and by the second year everyone had dropped out of school or my life. I have yet to really grow any sort of friendship with anyone here since.

Also within the past two weeks Ive broken up with an extrmely long term love interest who has now relocated at the university of syracuse.

So needless to say, I've been extremely lonely. Since my falling out w/ my temple friends I've also begun to develop a serious anxiety about social situations, and often feel like a prisoner in my own apartment b/c I can't handle life outside of the classroom and work.
Everyday is a rollercoaster, never quite reaching a peak of happieness, but usually some sort of satisfaction, then it plummets to the point where I am so nervous walking down the street because I feel the look on my face makes it so obvious im fighting back a break down.

Before last year I was so social, I never had a problem making friends, even making a fool of myself. ANyone who knew me could attest that I was very outgoing, but now I feel like a prisoner or my environment and emotions.

Ive always had serious episodes of depression but I feel as if its starting to take over to the point where I cant pull myself out anymore.

Im starting to feel this may never end. Its always been a tug o war but I feel like its been dragging me in its direction too far, and I dont have the strength or will to pull back anymore

Edited by peepeepottypants (09/08/05 08:44 PM)

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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 03/20/01
Posts: 5,156
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Re: Just a Mix of Mess [Re: peepeepottypants]
    #4635261 - 09/08/05 09:26 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Try doing new things outside of the college environment. College can be a lonely place, regardless of who you are. I've been on both sides of the coin. One year I was big pimpin', swimming in girls + friends., and the next year I was all alone. It takes a toll on your psyche, and you start questioning yourself. I believe it's all random anyways; it takes being in the right place at the right time. Just ride it out is my advice, as life seems to follow a predictable pattern of highs and lows; few things remain a constant in life. I'm in a low place right now, but as always I'll pull out of it soon, and start meeting the right people by random chance. And happiness will follow again, as it always does.

I'm sure it will for you too, one way or another.

To find a place to live between the negatives and positives.

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Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: Just a Mix of Mess [Re: peepeepottypants]
    #4635270 - 09/08/05 09:28 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

College is absolutely great for some people. It is an environment where some people grow intellectually, socially, and emotionally.

For me...it SUCKED. I dropped out after two years and I have never regretted it. I wasted two years and tens of thousands of dollars. If I could go back in time, I would never have gone to college.

If you are close to getting a degree that you can actually make money with...then stay. If you are far away from your degree and you feel like you will die if you stay a day longer, drop out now.

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Registered: 09/27/05
Posts: 131
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Re: Just a Mix of Mess [Re: Holydiver]
    #4721406 - 09/27/05 07:56 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Hey man...don't worry about it. I live in Syracuse...It sucks here. Lol. THings will work out, just let things happen and don't be afraid to get out there and meet new people.


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Animals Are Cool
Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 3,666
Re: Just a Mix of Mess [Re: psilocyb0rg]
    #4721736 - 09/27/05 08:45 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Easier said then done. The key here is exception, once you except your self for who you are everything will fall into place. Imagine yourself excepting yourself every single day. The more you do this the more you train your mind into creating the emotion of self exception. Your mind works well with visual images. Train your mind to love yourself, and don't stress out about it. Changing yourself takes time. :wink:

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Registered: 09/24/05
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Re: Just a Mix of Mess [Re: p4kSouL]
    #4723870 - 09/28/05 04:25 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

But changing yourself is ALMOST impossible!!!!!

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Registered: 03/15/05
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Re: Just a Mix of Mess [Re: imagine]
    #4724636 - 09/28/05 11:59 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

You are changing every moment.

"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Registered: 04/06/01
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Re: Just a Mix of Mess [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4724725 - 09/28/05 12:20 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)


RandalFlagg said:
If you are far away from your degree and you feel like you will die if you stay a day longer, drop out now.

i left college at this point, too ... i was suicidal by the day i made the decision to either die or quit school ... obviously, it seemed a better decision, despite the fact that i knew so many kids who were so happy in college ... college is not for everybody, absolutely, and not every college is for everybody, either ...

EVERYBODY has a different route in life than everybody else, but society conditions you to believe that life is a preset serious of events that happen in an exact order ... it's bullshit ... some people go to college right after high school .. some go when they're 40 ... some never go ... some people die at 20, guns a blazin, and some people die at 100, having never taken an adventure just to live as long as possible ... and yet, they all find themselves in the end ... just using different means ...

it's all about YOUR plan ... is money the biggest concern? or is happiness the biggest concern? is a big-time job and degree necessary to be happy, or is it just what society wants you to believe?

there is no standard for anything, don't believe the bullshit ... YOU go and do what makes YOU happy ...

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Let there belight

Registered: 03/21/05
Posts: 449
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
Re: Just a Mix of Mess [Re: HB]
    #4726571 - 09/28/05 07:43 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

with the lowest of lows come the highest of highs.

look up more when youre outside.

be comfortable with who you are, there are ALOT of people who are worse than you.


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