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InvisibleDark_Star
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Whoa....my ass, on a platter;
    #4630722 - 09/07/05 06:22 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

This past weekend I took 5.1gs of extremely potent shrooms and wow...my head was fucked with in a big way. I've gotten my ass handed to me before, but I always assumed that it was because I wasn't showing proper respect to the mushrooms...this time was different; I looked at the experience as educational experience, and went into it very humble, very respectful and looking to learn....I figured that there would be painful parts, and I wasn't expecting it to be fun.....but I did think that I would hear the famed voice of the Logos, and gain some wisdom for path.

I began the trip by meditating, and then praying, blessing the shrooms and then asking for guidance and wisdom, I than ate the mushrooms and waited for them to kick in, listening to Alien Dreamtime (Spacetime Continuum & Terence McKenna), and waited....2 hours had gone by and I felt like I had maybe taken 2gs, so frustrated I left my tent (this was in an equestion campground...with people all around.)

We walked away from the campsites to a hill with a wonderful view of the stars and smoked a joint. After the second toke I knew I was going to get off, but foolishly kept hitting it. By the time we reached the the campsite I was tripping hard; I sat down and put my head down, closed my eyes and began flying down this tunnel of beautiful patterns made of of bright rainbow colors, as I went farther and farther I saw different things; Aliens....some other higher beings......and beautiful women of all cultures and time periods having orgies, also made up of incredible rainbow colors.

When I opened my eyes, the fire, and the sound of it gave me a weird vibe, this combined with the intensity of the trip led me back to my tent, there were people around and I didn't want to draw attention to myself...the whole idea was a solo voyage in silence anyway. Back in my tent I laid down seeing more of the above, but even more vivid, and I was also seeing incredible landscapes, however, the weird vibe was still there, and at this point I was getting nervous...it was getting stronger and stronger, and I cheickend out as far as looking for the Logos went; I put on some tunes so I could have something to hold onto.

At this point the trip was still good.....but, (an interlude here, whenever I some while tripping esp. before or during the peak my trips seem to go bad, and with mushrooms it ALWAYS follows this exact pattern, from taking forever to kick in, me getting impatient and smoking, the incredible visuals, the bad thought, etc.....) a tiny little bad thought hit my head, I'm not sure what it was, but it something lame; probably "what if I bug out", Anyway, that was it the visuals turned horrible, and my body was feeling all prickly, I kept having awful thoughts, and experiencing terrible, terrible things. It would wind down, and I'd think thank God that's over...but than I remembered the last time; the waves keep coming, and coming, each one lasting hundreds if not thousands of years.

I can't describe most of the visuals, but I did see cop cars everywhere...whatever I was seeing with my eyes shut, I'd see with them open, there was no escape, no sense of reality whatsoever. at one point I saw all of these girls...they were EVERYWHERE, looking at me, through this rainbow veil, they could see me, hear me, were reacting to me and looking at each other/talking amongst themselves. At this point I was rolling and writhing on my tent floor, and I had this distinct impression that they were real...that I was breaking into their dimension and that what I was doing in my world, I was doing in theres. It was like I was going to wind up in this other dimension, in a high school or something bugging out like I was having a seizure there or something...and that I would nevr be able to come back. I sat up to make this go away, but it didn't....instead the girls reacted as though I was sitting up...which freaked me considerably. I shook my head like a mad dog and they finally disappeared.

I felt just like an infant, completely helpless and being tormented by all sorts of shit...I wanted something, but I didn't know what, well, I wanted it to stop, but other than that I wanted a woman or women and hold and comfort me, older heads to guide me through it, anything, everything..... I felt like I was in hell at many points, and each time the waves would come they would last for hundreds if not thousands of years (literally how I experienced it), I thought I'd be caught in this loop forever.

I wanted to talk to my friends, but I was afraid to leave the tent...and I didn't want to freak them out (they would've taken good care of me.....I was just too far gone to see this then.) Plus I was afraid that the same shit would happen outside as inside. I also didn't want any of the other campers to see me...I wasn't sure if they were still up or not. Finally, I had to get out of that tent, and I sat with my friend (the other one had gone to his tent). The presence of my friend calmed me down considerably, and the trip rapidly wore down, except when I ate some grapes, which made me feel a little nauseous again, and brought the visuals back for a bit.

The next day I felt extremely at peace, and happy....however i don't know yet what I got out of this experience. I sure didn't get the lessons I was looking for. Basically, it was a repeat of  another mushroom + bud trip that took place around this same time last year....but more intense. I do however, believe firmly that everything happens for a reason;  the last time this happened was followed by the most spiritual period of my life. While I just wanted it to end at the time, now that it's over I'm glad I experienced this....it showed me how much strenghth I really have.

I still don't know what to think, I had prepared extensively for this trip, and approached it with total respect. IME weed does NOT mix well with psychedelics, but after preparing to have my mind blown and not at all sure that I was going to get anywhere after 2 hours I really didn't know what else to do, Adamist has suggested that the mushrooms were testing my patience, which is very possible....these mushrooms were incredibly powerful, among the best, if not the best I've ever had in fact, so that seems feasible. One thing is sure this ha has happened on mushrooms many times, there is obviously something going on with it. I'm not planning on taking mushrooms again until I have a couple older heads to watch over and guide me, and a loving woman or women with the same interest in psychedelics to take care of and comfort me if need be.....I feel like that this is something that I have to overcome, and can overcome...I just need people to help me with it. So.....I will be taking a high dose of mushrooms again....just not for awhile. Thanks for reading, any comments, ideas and advice is greatly appreciated.  One Love to all of you.  :heart: :sun:


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Edited by Dark_Star (09/08/05 03:56 PM)


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InvisibleShroomismM
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Re: Whoa....my ass, on a platter; [Re: Dark_Star]
    #4630785 - 09/07/05 06:36 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

I don't know what to say.. besides the mushrooms show you what you need to see. Not neccessarily what you want, or are expecting. We may not fully understand the lessons we learn.. but oh.. do we learn from. Several of my last trips have been somewhat similar. In that.. I yearn for the presence of a woman. In a relationship for 5+ years and then just broke it off. I feel really alone sometimes, even with friends. My last few mushroom trips in groups of people have sort of reflected yours.. just wanting a woman to hold me, comfort me, share my experiences with.. I need intimacy damnit. Older heads to guide. Yes, I think I know what you experienced quite well.

I don't want to speak for you.. but the main things I gathered from those trips is that in the end, I only have myself. Yes, there are always other people that will care for you and help you, but it is ultimately up to you to walk and talk and live your life. I think those trips were trying to purge my dependence on other people and become a more independent person. After all that's why I left everything in the first place. But it is still lonely sometimes, without a woman.

The peace comes from within. The people around us love us more than anything, and we love them. It's a strange love. Mushrooms to me, are a spiritual tool for gaining insight into our lives. You may not consciously comprehend everything that happened, but the lesson is firmly planted deep in your subconscious.. Sounds to me like you shed some layers of the ego and lay 'naked'. This is a vulnerable position to be in, and requires much trust in love of those around you. But they didn't take advantage of you. And it seems to me you learned what you needed to. All of life experience is a "test". Hope something I said helps in some way.
Peace, Love And Light my brother.


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InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
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Re: Whoa....my ass, on a platter; [Re: Dark_Star]
    #4630846 - 09/07/05 06:47 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

Very well written report bro. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. All in all it sounds like you had a very good trip despite the rough parts. :smile: :sun:


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m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.


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OfflineLicense_to_Chill
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Re: Whoa....my ass, on a platter; [Re: THE KRAT BARON]
    #4633541 - 09/08/05 01:06 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

Wow.  Yea, that was a very intense trip.  Through the rough parts, always come the good. :smile:

Peace.


--------------------
"I sat on the bus next to God once,
he told me about the true meaning of life...
then he gave me a pretzel..."


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InvisibleDark_Star
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Re: Whoa....my ass, on a platter; [Re: Shroomism]
    #4634299 - 09/08/05 05:11 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

Hmmmm, that's a very thought-provoking reply Shroomism, thank you. Matt, I got your PM dude....also very thought-provoking. I'm viewing as a positive experience more and more now.....sometimes you need some other people to point out the light and lessons for you.


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Invisibledblaney
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Re: Whoa....my ass, on a platter; [Re: Dark_Star]
    #4634857 - 09/08/05 07:32 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

Sounds like quite the powerful trip. I wish I had something insightful to add, but Shroomism really hit the nail on the head. Through the entire ordeal, your Self remained intact, regardless of the hells your body went though. Trips like that can be good sources of inner strength. When you encounter a tricky situation in the future, just think back on this trip and remember that no matter the outcome, your Self will remain intact.

Also, one thing that I urge you not to overlook is the value of introspection. After a hellish trip I had a year or two back, I was rather traumatized, until a few months later I decided to think about it and analyze it, and I was amazed by the insight and inner peace I gained from doing so.

:peace: :sun:


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"What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?"

"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword"
- John Mayer

Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin.

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln


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Re: Whoa....my ass, on a platter; [Re: Dark_Star]
    #4638267 - 09/09/05 04:32 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

Most of my 'bad trips' have come about by not respecting the mushroom; by looking at it as an escape or some sort of recreational drug.
Needless to say, the mushroom has shown me that this is not the way it wants to be looked at!
The strange thing is, you were fully aware of that, and took all the necessary steps and precautions to set yourself up for a mind-blowing spiritual experience... yet that is not what the outcome was, apparently.

Personally I don't like mixing strong psychedelics with marijuana..
Marijuana on it's own can sometimes bring about anxiety and paranoia (for me at least) and I just don't need that added in with the structure of my experience.

Like I said before, I think the mushroom was testing you, to see if you truely were doing it for the 'right' reasons... if you had the patience to become aware of the next level...


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Invisibleindica
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Re: Whoa....my ass, on a platter; [Re: Adamist]
    #4644897 - 09/11/05 05:20 AM (11 years, 2 months ago)

nice read. I would really like to try a solo trip somewhere in the wild, nature etc ( FAR OUT from civilisation a beach or a forest or something) with a nice selection of chilled out music on my mp3 player.

Would yoiu be happy experiencing category 5 trips for every time yoiu take them?

peace


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Re: Whoa....my ass, on a platter; [Re: Dark_Star]
    #4664422 - 09/15/05 12:41 PM (11 years, 2 months ago)

Great trip report!

It's beautiful when it doesn't matter if your eyes are opened or closed :smile: It's like some kind of rainbow blinking.


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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics >> The Psychedelic Experience >> Trip Reports

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