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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole

Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
Idiotarian of the month goes to,tada, Sean Penn
    #4623043 - 09/05/05 05:29 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

I thought this was a joke at first but apparently it's true

http://nicedoggie.net/2005/index.php/?p=827#comments

September 4, 2005
Revenge of the Open Seacock
Filed under: Idiotarians

Today?s most hilarious item comes to us courtesy of our old friend of the Empire, LC Naviguesser, and it?s all about how everybody?s favorite Moonbat, Sean Penn, apparently could use some remedial classes in basic (very basic) seamanship:

EFFORTS by Hollywood actor Sean Penn to aid New Orleans victims stranded by Hurricane Katrina foundered badly overnight, when the boat he was piloting to launch a rescue attempt sprang a leak.

?Sprang a leak? is a diplomatic way of putting it, as we see in the next graf:

Penn had planned to rescue children waylaid by Katrina?s flood waters, but apparently forgot to plug a hole in the bottom of the vessel, which began taking water within seconds of its launch.

And thus Cap?n Penn?s heroic efforts foundered because of Terminal Lack of Clue. Cap?n Penn was last seen standing stoically on the bridge of the vessel, the ?Thrashing Moonbat?, refusing to leave his post. Well, not exactly:

The actor, known for his political activism, was seen wearing what appeared to be a white flak jacket?

The First Rule of Good Seamanship: Never leave shore without your designer flak jacket. Or was that supposed to be ?life jacket?? Oh well, as long as it looks good on TeeVee.

...and frantically bailing water out of the sinking vessel with a red plastic cup.

OK, we get it now. He was deliberately trying to provide the disaster-stricken locals with some much needed comic relief, right? Somebody?d better tell me that they have pictures of this, because I want one for the masthead.

Nobody ever suggested to him that closing the seacock might be a good idea? Not that anybody should?ve had to, it would seem pretty obvious to even the most retarded of humans, but? Wait? This is Sean Penn we?re talking about. Nevermind.

When the boat?s motor failed to start, those aboard were forced to use paddles to propel themselves down the flooded New Orleans street.

Moonbat row your boat ashore? Alleluuuuuyahhh?

That?s what you get for drowning your engine. Literally.

Asked what he had hoped to achieve in the waterlogged city, the actor replied: ?Whatever I can do to help.?

L-rd helps those who helps themselves, and you?re obviously incapable of the latter. But we?re sure that you did make them laugh.

With the boat loaded with members of Penn?s entourage, including a personal photographer, one bystander taunted the actor: ?How are you going to get any people in that thing??

Second Rule of Good Seamanship and Rescue Efforts: Never leave shore without your personal photographer, your make-up artist and a dozen or so others to help you with locating the +3 Red Plastic Cup of Bailing and keeping your flak jacket spotless.

Now, if you?ll excuse us. We have to wipe the coffee off the monitor.

[UPDATE: Damn, that was quick! Our Imperial Thanks to LC Fresh Sign for immediately sending us this barrel of laughs:

...or should that be ?bucket of dorks??]
Posted by Emperor Darth Misha I @ 11:01 pm |


Click the link, the picture is too good.


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Invisibleadrug

Registered: 02/04/03
Posts: 15,800
Re: Idiotarian of the month goes to,tada, Sean Penn [Re: zappaisgod]
    #4623062 - 09/05/05 05:37 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Pardon me for interrupting your good time, but what is a moonbat?


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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: Idiotarian of the month goes to,tada, Sean Penn [Re: zappaisgod]
    #4623092 - 09/05/05 05:56 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Sean Penn - attempts to help victims

Zappa - ridicules aid worker

Hmmm, who is the more noble of the two?  :rolleyes:


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The proof is in the pudding.


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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole

Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
Re: Idiotarian of the month goes to,tada, Sean Penn [Re: adrug]
    #4623093 - 09/05/05 05:56 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

This should explain it
http://www.barking-moonbat.com/index.php/weblog/comments/now_you_know_part_i/

People often ask me where the phrase Moonbat originated. I usually reply to them "buy me another drink or three and I'll tell you about it."

Here is the condensed version (you can start stirring the martinis now, if you please - thank you).

You know what the moon is, right? That big silver ball in the night sky? That neighboring planetoid that a million songs have been written about? The place Neil Armstrong took a giant leap? Home of the Reverend Sun Myung Moon?

Well, the ancient Latin word for moon was luna, which is why we talk about lunar cycles which are responsible for women's PMS attacks among other evils visited upon mankind since we climbed down from the trees. Also from the Latin lunaticus, which translates as "moon-struck", we derive the word lunatic. The Romans thought that recurring bouts of madness were caused by cycles of the moon. The Roman men obviously had the same problems with their women as we do today but it would be nearly 2000 years before this "lunacy" was diagnosed as PMS.

So we see that the moon (aka, Luna) has always been associated with mental problems of one sort or another for thousands of years. There has to be some connection there. All those people couldn't be wrong could they?

Which brings us to the subject of bats. Bats are essentially just ugly little rats with wings. Rats by themselves are a damned nuisance but when you strap wings on the little bastards they become mortal terrors. Then if you take away their eyesight and give them bult-in radar so they can fly at night (by moonlight, of course) you end up with the definition of evil (with apologies to Bruce Wayne's alter-ego).

And if you give these monsters fangs they become blood-suckers and before you can say "Transylvania" you have Count Dracula flying in the window and drinking the blood of nice young girls with scanty night-clothes and big breasts in old Christopher Lee movies.

So now we come to the combination of the two: Moonbat. This is the human personification of the two terms described above. It is a human whose cerebral cortex has turned to silly putty causing him or her to mentally slide down the evolutionary ladder to the level of a winged rat who is influenced by the moon and wants to suck your blood. Also affectionately known as a "Democrat".

These creatures spend their days hanging from the ceiling (or relaxing in their saunas in Beverly Hills) and by night, when the moon exerts its lunatic influence upon their two remaining brain cells, they wander the streets babbling insanities and looking for their next victim. They usually first appear about sundown on NBC, CBS and ABC News as "sound bites" (see above regarding fangs). Then they quickly gather in upscale neighborhoods like The Hamptons, Martha's Vineyard, San Francisco and Hollywood where they plot their devious, totally mad plans to take over the world.

Poor pitiful creatures. They have no clue that we are on to them. Their twisted, demented little brains simply cannot grasp the fact they are doomed to extinction. The legends of vampires have slowly died out and thanks to modern psychotherapy (and electrical shock treatments) these miserable throwbacks to an earlier dark era in human history are slowly being eliminated (or in the case of San Francisco, simply allowed to "mate" in a manner that will not allow them to reproduce).

So there you have it. Pour me another martooni, please and we'll examine the "Barking" part next week.


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OfflineRedstorm
Prince of Bugs
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Re: Idiotarian of the month goes to,tada, Sean Penn [Re: zappaisgod]
    #4623097 - 09/05/05 05:59 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

I'm no fan of Penn or his opinions, but he actually tried to do good (even though it failed miserably). That earns him some points in my book.


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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole

Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
Re: Idiotarian of the month goes to,tada, Sean Penn [Re: Redstorm]
    #4623141 - 09/05/05 06:20 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

I could go for that he if he wasn't such a bitch about how everybody else is incompetent, as if he knew how to do anything other than get a table at Spago. But he is a relentless pontificator about things which he knows not one whit about that it was just too bad he didn't fucking sink. And the last line about what he thought he was gonna do bringing a boat full of people into the shitzone was too good. Two questions not answered: did the boat sink? and did he need assistance to get out? Really, he should just go away. Help like that no one needs. He's a fucking moron at best and a publicity whore at..... second best. Fucking jump off a bridge man, you aint no Jimmy Dean.


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OfflineMagicalMystery
turn off yourmind

Registered: 07/27/05
Posts: 1,740
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Re: Idiotarian of the month goes to,tada, Sean Penn [Re: zappaisgod]
    #4623931 - 09/05/05 09:52 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

you said cock. hahahah


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"Men trained in arms from their infancy, and animated by the love of liberty, will afford neither a cheap or easy conquest."
From the Declaration of the Continental Congress

"We can have peace and security only as long as we band together to preserve that most priceless possession, our inheritance of European blood."
Charles A. Lindbergh,"Aviation, Geography, and Race", Reader's Digest, Nov. 1939

"We must secure the existance of our people and a future for White children."
David Lane


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InvisibleVvellum
Stranger

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 10,920
Re: Idiotarian of the month goes to,tada, Sean Penn [Re: zappaisgod]
    #4624242 - 09/06/05 02:46 AM (12 years, 3 months ago)

:yawn:


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InvisibleSilversoul
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Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
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Re: Idiotarian of the month goes to,tada, Sean Penn [Re: zappaisgod]
    #4624249 - 09/06/05 02:52 AM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Idiotarian of the month goes to...



This thread.


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OfflineVex
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Registered: 05/04/05
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Re: Idiotarian of the month goes to,tada, Sean Penn [Re: zappaisgod]
    #4624382 - 09/06/05 03:50 AM (12 years, 3 months ago)

wow...your hatred for liberals runs so deep that you actually delight in sean penns failure to try and do something really great.

I can't think of the right words to describe you. Are they cold hearted, petty, hopeless, or pathetic? perhaps a combination of all of them? hmm...try to look at this way for a second. sean penn has done more for these people than you ever will.


Edited by Vex (09/06/05 03:56 AM)


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Invisiblelooner2
ABBA fan

Registered: 06/20/04
Posts: 3,849
Re: Idiotarian of the month goes to,tada, Sean Penn [Re: Vex]
    #4624665 - 09/06/05 08:02 AM (12 years, 3 months ago)

I love how he brings his entourage with him. Bringing the essentials like publicist and photographer shows his worth.


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I am in love with Acidic_Sloth



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OfflineJesusChrist
Son Of God
Registered: 02/19/04
Posts: 1,459
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Re: Idiotarian of the month goes to,tada, Sean Penn [Re: looner2]
    #4624748 - 09/06/05 09:34 AM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Sean Penn is a complete fuckstick.


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Tastes just like chicken


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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole

Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
Re: Idiotarian of the month goes to,tada, Sean Penn [Re: Vex]
    #4625022 - 09/06/05 11:59 AM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Vex said:
wow...your hatred for liberals runs so deep that you actually delight in sean penns failure to try and do something really great.

I can't think of the right words to describe you. Are they cold hearted, petty, hopeless, or pathetic? perhaps a combination of all of them? hmm...try to look at this way for a second. sean penn has done more for these people than you ever will.




This is an all-time stupid post.

1. The idiot defied the evacuation order and put himself and some other untrained idiots at risk. From the looks of it he came damn close to needing rescue himself, which should have been denied him on the grounds of improving the gene pool. You ride a motorcycle without a helmet and get a preventable injury TOUGH.

2. He brought a fucking dinghy. He also didn't put the plug in it. He clearly has no business on a boat that doesn't come with a crew.

3. He filled the dinghy with an entourage, including his personal photographer, there to no doubt chronicle this great hero filling the breach left void by the governments involved. Even though the evacuation had been largely completed and the snipers quelled already.
Who did he think he was going to put in this yacht? Somebody's cat?
I can't wait to see this idiots photo gallery.

4. He is a very wealthy man. He has far greater wherewithall to donate large sums to relief than I do. Although it is unfortunate that any of it might be lessened due to the cost of this publicity stunt, which probably ran to the tens of thousands of dollars.

5. I do not hate liberals per se, although I think they are foolish and misguided. What I cannot abide is arrogant jackasses who by dint of an astonishingly lucrative but essentially useless talent have been dipped so deep in the bullshit sycophancy of their dependants and celebrity worshippers that they think they can do anything. I don't think this asshole even graduated high school and he certainly has no rescue training. Free speech? Fine blab all you want. Free thought? I will think you are a complete fucking moron based on your bleatings. And then I will exercise MY free speech right to say so. And stay the fuck out of the way, you clearly incompetent asshole.


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InvisibleGijith
Daisy Chain Eater

Registered: 12/04/03
Posts: 2,400
Loc: New York
Re: Idiotarian of the month goes to,tada, Sean Penn [Re: zappaisgod]
    #4625131 - 09/06/05 12:43 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

so Spicoli


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what's with neocons and the word 'ilk'?


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Offlinelonestar2004
Live to party,work to affordit.
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Registered: 10/03/04
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Re: Idiotarian of the month goes to,tada, Sean Penn [Re: zappaisgod]
    #4625168 - 09/06/05 12:56 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)



Sean Penn bales water out of a boat with a plastic cup as he and members of his entourage make an attempt to rescue stranded people in New Orleans.

That just says it all!


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America's debt problem is a "sign of leadership failure"

We have "reckless fiscal policies"

America has a debt problem and a failure of leadership.

Americans deserve better

Barack Obama


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Invisibleafoaf
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Registered: 11/08/02
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Re: Idiotarian of the month goes to,tada, Sean Penn [Re: zappaisgod]
    #4625174 - 09/06/05 12:57 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

did you know what a seacock was before this article.

sean penn is annoying, but it's an honest mistake.

at least he's trying.


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All I know is The Growery is a place where losers who get banned here go.


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OfflineJ4S0N
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Re: Idiotarian of the month goes to,tada, Sean Penn [Re: zappaisgod]
    #4625177 - 09/06/05 12:57 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Does this really need to be in the Politics forum?


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"The Central Intelligence Agency owns everyone of any significance in the major media." ~ William Colby, Former Director, CIA


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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole

Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
Re: Idiotarian of the month goes to,tada, Sean Penn [Re: afoaf]
    #4625307 - 09/06/05 01:24 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

afoaf said:
did you know what a seacock was before this article.

sean penn is annoying, but it's an honest mistake.

at least he's trying.




His efforts should be restricted to sending money, not increasing his candidacy for victimhood himself. And if you think this was anything other than a publicity stunt you are a fool. Bringing your personal photographer as supercargo on a dinghy is absurd.

I own a boat. My father was a captain. My grandfather was a captain. Boats are dangerous. He should stay the fuck out of the way. Send money. Bitch all you want but please stay home, you are not helping with your stupid little dinghy in a sea of sewage.


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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole

Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
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Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
Re: Idiotarian of the month goes to,tada, Sean Penn [Re: J4S0N]
    #4625318 - 09/06/05 01:26 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

J4S0N said:
Does this really need to be in the Politics forum?




Mr. Penn has styled himself an activist and has made many political statements. It is just as appropriate to discuss him here as Jesse Jackson, another unelected blowhard.


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Invisibleafoaf
CEO DBK?
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Registered: 11/08/02
Posts: 32,665
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Re: Idiotarian of the month goes to,tada, Sean Penn [Re: zappaisgod]
    #4625391 - 09/06/05 01:43 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

I'd actually like to retract my last statement.

I've been thinking more about it and I wish that
whiney cunt had just drowned.

I love how this bleeding heart bitch whines about
preemptive strikes but loves to beat women.

So sorry, Madonna.


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All I know is The Growery is a place where losers who get banned here go.


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