Home | Community | Message Board


Phytoextractum
Please support our sponsors.

Community >> Physical and Mental Well-Being

Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Jump to first unread post. Pages: 1
OfflineBoneMan
Shrimpin ain't easy
Male

Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 2,032
Loc: new new england
Last seen: 6 years, 18 days
starved for affection
    #4618218 - 09/04/05 01:47 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

its been almost 3 years since i've had a girlfriend, and almost 3 years since i've had sex, or even made out with a girl.

for a while it felt good to get away from the hassle and confusion of relationships. but now i got my eye on this girl and im craving affection like a junkie craves for dope.

i want to be liked/loved/wanted or whatever you want to call it, but i dont really know how to make that happen...

anyone else? it would make me feel a lot better to see that im not the only one starving for affection


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleVirgilKane
Miner for truth and delusion
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/17/05
Posts: 1,131
Loc: lowdown
Re: starved for affection [Re: BoneMan]
    #4618657 - 09/04/05 05:25 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I know exactly what you mean, Man and it's lead me to do some pretty weird things.  I really hate to bring any negative thoughts into this, but I once heard a very wise saying.  "If you get with someone mostly because they fill a need of yours, someday that need will be gone but you'll still be in the relationship."  Something to that extent, but I hope that you get the meaning behind it.  Not saying that this is the case for you...just food for thought.

Plus everyone needs affection sometime.IMO  The longer we go without it the more we convince ourselves that we don't need it and begin to shut down litle by little.  It's sad when it happens.

I hope everything goes well for you. :heart:


--------------------
Absense of evidence is not evidence of absense...

"Religion is a defense against a religious experience"
              Carl G. Jung

 
"So really, ordinary reality is a kind of chemical habit, sanctioned by culture, which says it's okay to use certain drugs, eat certain foods, and have certain sexual behaviors. However, when you transcend all this pre-conditioning by returning to the original wisdom of the animal body, then you discover this immense dimension of opportunity. For some people, it is a frightening risk. To me, that's the psychedelic experience."
Terence McKenna


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineJabbawaya

Registered: 07/11/05
Posts: 1,479
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: starved for affection [Re: BoneMan]
    #4618944 - 09/04/05 11:35 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

It's easy to sympathize with your situation. Don't feel bad. You're not the only one lookin for love.


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinecrunchytoast
oppositional

Registered: 04/07/05
Posts: 1,133
Loc: aporia
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
Re: starved for affection [Re: VirgilKane]
    #4619295 - 09/04/05 02:07 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

"If you get with someone mostly because they fill a need of yours, someday that need will be gone but you'll still be in the relationship."

what other basis for a relationship could there be besides needs?


--------------------
"consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleVirgilKane
Miner for truth and delusion
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/17/05
Posts: 1,131
Loc: lowdown
Re: starved for affection [Re: crunchytoast]
    #4619717 - 09/04/05 05:54 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Giving?? As in WANTING to give instead of NEEDING to...

From his post it sounds like he wants her to fulfill a need or craving that he has which is perfectly normal. I'm just saying that when that need is gone, there needs to be more and if there's not...IMO
And it could be any PARTICULAR need, which is what I meant to begin with.

Since it's been a while for him then it might be wise to look at all the factors and not just a sudden "need".

I think that there are other basis for relationships. My personal favorite is when a person brings out the best in me and when I want to be my best BECAUSE of that person and vise versa.


Edited by schapper (09/04/05 06:12 PM)


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinecrunchytoast
oppositional

Registered: 04/07/05
Posts: 1,133
Loc: aporia
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
Re: starved for affection [Re: VirgilKane]
    #4621400 - 09/05/05 02:39 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

i meant no offense schapper, i was just asking a question. i don't know how much i agree with your post, but i did find it to be thought-provoking.

boneman, i've been doing a lot of thinking about my own need for affection in the past month or two. maybe some of what i have been thinking about myself will apply to you-

personally i find i can divide my need/want for affection into a few things: need for acceptance, need for care, need for connection.

i need to feel accepted by others for who i am. that's consistently the biggest thing for me.

needing to be cared for- i think for me this happens because of needs of mine that aren't met. for example, if i were hungry, i would wish i had someone to feed me. but honestly, it's about the food and not about the other person. i will just subconsciously put it in those terms if so i believe only another person can provide what i'm yearning for. so personally haven't found a need for care per se in myself. (not saying for sure it's not there.)

need for a feeling of being connected- i can get that by creating situations where i rely on others and other people rely on me. interdependance.

i want to be liked because it means someone cares for me and will help me get what i want, and will be motivated to accept me. for me, wanting to be liked like a subconscious means to an end.

need for acceptance is unique. the more i think about it, the more i realize i want to be understood and accepted for everything i am, not only what i'm proud of but what i'm ashamed of as well.

dunno if that helps.


--------------------
"consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleVirgilKane
Miner for truth and delusion
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/17/05
Posts: 1,131
Loc: lowdown
Re: starved for affection [Re: crunchytoast]
    #4621846 - 09/05/05 09:47 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

None taken Crunchytoast.  I should have use italics instead of caps. on those words that I was trying to emphasize so it wouldn't seem like I was shouting.  That wasn't my intention.  I've seen a lot of your posts in S&P and know that you're a nice person.  Sorry that it came across as it did.

Looking back over this I realize that I missed the whole point of this post.  Boneman was wanting to know if anyone felt the way that he does and I don't per se so I should have just not responded.  Sorry to have taken this in another direction. :blush:

Best wishes, Boneman! :heart:


--------------------
Absense of evidence is not evidence of absense...

"Religion is a defense against a religious experience"
              Carl G. Jung

 
"So really, ordinary reality is a kind of chemical habit, sanctioned by culture, which says it's okay to use certain drugs, eat certain foods, and have certain sexual behaviors. However, when you transcend all this pre-conditioning by returning to the original wisdom of the animal body, then you discover this immense dimension of opportunity. For some people, it is a frightening risk. To me, that's the psychedelic experience."
Terence McKenna


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineBoneMan
Shrimpin ain't easy
Male

Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 2,032
Loc: new new england
Last seen: 6 years, 18 days
Re: starved for affection [Re: VirgilKane]
    #4622427 - 09/05/05 02:37 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

thanks guys. crunchytoast, I think what im experiencing is a need for connection. Its been a long time since i've connected with another person in a meaningful way.

Fortunately, I've got a few musicians who I can jam with soon, which provides a very satisfying feeling of connection.. as long as we can make some good music.

but recently I have seen 2 of my closest friends become addicted to heroin and comepletely devote their lives to it. They are getting cleaned up now, but I dont know if i'll ever be able to trust them again.

I used to go out and party every night in the summer, and every weekend the rest of the year. but for the last couple months i've just sat around at home and played guitar.

So my want/need for affection is being blown out of proportion by the fact that i have no close friends and way too much time alone to think about it.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Jump to top. Pages: 1

Community >> Physical and Mental Well-Being

Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Relationship and psychedelics? *update* Toolman 1,708 17 04/11/04 04:22 PM
by Gus
* Completely managed to fuck up a good relationship.... f8L 1,519 9 02/10/04 09:55 PM
by sykobish
* Ruminations on dating and relationships
RandalFlagg
1,162 6 10/06/06 09:25 AM
by Penguarky Tunguin
* My epiphany re: relationships... MrBump 1,242 3 12/27/03 03:39 AM
by sykobish
* How does alcohol affect the brain ?? Mike_yy 2,286 6 01/18/07 10:49 PM
by Schwip
* Importance of sex in a relationship Anonymous 1,243 12 04/09/09 05:42 PM
by Icelander
* Doesn't seem like I bring much to a relationship/friendship/group/etc
( 1 2 all )
freddurgan 5,072 20 07/26/05 05:16 AM
by eve69
* Breakup with my ex seriously affected me..I've lost myself Anonymous 3,165 8 04/08/09 08:18 PM
by isaacein

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: CherryBom, boO, Rose, yogabunny, Jokeshopbeard, CookieCrumbs, Memories
1,349 topic views. 0 members, 11 guests and 0 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Toggle Favorite | Print Topic | Stats ]
Search this thread:
Original Seeds Store - Cannabis Seeds
Please support our sponsors.

Copyright 1997-2017 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.035 seconds spending 0.006 seconds on 20 queries.