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InvisibleVeritas
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Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,088
Life Without Goals?
    #4607729 - 09/01/05 12:51 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Fall has always inspired me to clean house, start a new exercise program, purchase school supplies (whether I need them or not :grin:), and to set goals.

This year, I find myself reluctant to work on goal-setting.  I have begun to suspect that setting specific goals is more linked to neurosis than achievement.  In the past, I have used my failure to accomplish all the goals I set as an excuse to berate myself.  I've also found that I lack spontanaeity when focused exclusively on accomplishment.

What has your experience been with living with/without goals?


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OfflineLittleBen
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Re: Life Without Goals? [Re: Veritas]
    #4607802 - 09/01/05 01:07 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

I never let go of my long term goals, but I definitly go through cycles with day to day goals. Like you, fall has convinced me to start a daily regiment. Im working out, paying attention to my 4 meals a day, reading, and feeling really good about all of it. That good feeling comes a few times a year though. I wonder how long it will last this time.


--------------------
Gaia, as you awaken, I heal myself. As I awaken, you are healed.


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OfflineDeviate
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Re: Life Without Goals? [Re: LittleBen]
    #4607868 - 09/01/05 01:25 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

i remember reading somewhere (i think it was the tao te ching) the statement "the wise have no ambition" and it has really affected the way i think about goals. if i can keep myself content and never looking ahead to the completion of goals i find that i acheive more than i would have thought possible. while if i set goals for myself i worry too much about acheiving them and usually fall short.

of course i do still set goals, for example for school i have to plan my schedule based on the assumption that im going to pass certain classes. but once i have my schedule set i really try to take it day to day rather than say "i am going to get an A on this test"i think living without any goals or desires gives you a temendous feeling of mental freedom which really unleashes your creative energy and increases your ability to deal with life's setbacks. you become immune to dissapiontment.


Edited by Deviate (09/01/05 01:30 PM)


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OfflinePmog
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Re: Life Without Goals? [Re: Veritas]
    #4607929 - 09/01/05 01:41 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

your goal, is not to reach it, but to always be under-ways.. :P


--------------------
Life! = !Life

Life = birthing
Life = dying

!life = death <-> birth = life!
--------------------
:frown: !LIVE! :smile:
--------------------


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OfflinePmog
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Re: Life Without Goals? [Re: Veritas]
    #4607935 - 09/01/05 01:43 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

I'm drunk again. so for the Norwegians. and the one who bother translating it..

"M?let er ikke ? n? det, men ? alltid v?re underveis, mot et.."

ha ha I can't do it in Norwegian Either.. man king alcholoe puts neat breakers on me! :smile:(


--------------------
Life! = !Life

Life = birthing
Life = dying

!life = death <-> birth = life!
--------------------
:frown: !LIVE! :smile:
--------------------


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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: Life Without Goals? [Re: Pmog]
    #4607938 - 09/01/05 01:43 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Yes!  Enjoy the journey, don't sweat the destination. :grin:


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OfflinePmog
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Re: Life Without Goals? [Re: Veritas]
    #4607940 - 09/01/05 01:44 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

:inlove:


--------------------
Life! = !Life

Life = birthing
Life = dying

!life = death <-> birth = life!
--------------------
:frown: !LIVE! :smile:
--------------------


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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: Life Without Goals? [Re: Pmog]
    #4607945 - 09/01/05 01:45 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

:heart: you, sweetie!

I like your new "mirror" image.


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OfflineDeviate
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Re: Life Without Goals? [Re: Veritas]
    #4608014 - 09/01/05 02:03 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

" Yes! Enjoy the journey, don't sweat the destination.
"

yeah thats what i was trying to say.


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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: Life Without Goals? [Re: Deviate]
    #4608033 - 09/01/05 02:10 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Deviate said: you become immune to disappointment.




This is a big part of the problem/solution for me.

In my experience, having expectations of the future ensures disappointment.

When I let go of predicting and planning, I spend more time conscious of the present.

When I let go of what I want to have, I am more grateful for what I already have.

Perhaps a life without goals is the way to inner peace?


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Invisiblevampirism
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Re: Life Without Goals? [Re: Veritas]
    #4608043 - 09/01/05 02:13 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

i guess i've always had the opposite problem.

without goals, you don't really get anything done. If you're capable of devoting yourself to whatever you do ( even if it has no purpose ), then you will do well without goals.


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InvisibleELECTRIC
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Re: Life Without Goals? [Re: Veritas]
    #4608228 - 09/01/05 02:54 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

"This year, I find myself reluctant to work on goal-setting. I have begun to suspect that setting specific goals is more linked to neurosis than achievement. In the past, I have used my failure to accomplish all the goals I set as an excuse to berate myself. I've also found that I lack spontanaeity when focused exclusively on accomplishment."



Everyone sets various goals, of different calibre, on a daily basis. 


Often, many of the goals are met during the same day.


These are the extremely short term goals and include eating, getting dressed, taking a shower, etc..




If a goal is defined as some kind of an objective synonymous to intention, then everything that you do has an intended objective: its all related to setting goals.



I do, however, think I understand the kinds of 'goals' you mean concerning this thread...  The mid to longer-term goals.



Goal setting, in my experience, must be set within an appropriate limit relative to one's current state in conjunction to one's desired new state, with respect to an appropriate "practice" period.



Setting the bar too high in too short of a timeframe can lead to disappointment.  Setting up such objectives I would call: unrealistic goals.



For me, it is easier to set a larger scale goal if I use no timeframe and instead accept 'benchmarks' as being baby steps closer to my intended objective.


I'll give an example:


I play guitar.

I have made a goal to learn a song that is currently beyond my playing abilities.

I'm not sure when I'll be able to play the song, so I do not set a specific end date.

I practice with intent.

I improve and notice that I can play parts of the song better... But still cannot play the song as it is meant to be played.

I've taken a baby step, therby inching my way towards my goal.

A benchmark was 'notched' into my belt.


I keep working at it.

Consistency is important here.


Although I get frustrated with myself at times, I do not get disapointed.

The only disappointment I will suffer is if I give up working towards my goal.





The important thing is not to focus on the letdown of not reaching a goal immediately; but rather, being content that the baby steps that have been taken HAVE improved your person.




What many call setting goals, I call a wish list.

My only real goal, one that many would call a generalization, is to make myself a better person.

Even my failures are learning experiences; this teaches and builds me as a person also... As a side effect, I strive harder to become better.









I accomplish my goal everyday.






:smile:


--------------------
Nos confido phasmatis occultus in vicis postulo nostrum tutela donatus futurus.


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Life Without Goals? [Re: Veritas]
    #4608267 - 09/01/05 03:02 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Setting goals is a sure way to get myself not to do something.

The best way for me to do something is just to do it.

It's like the more I say I'm going to do something, the less real "doing it" becomes.


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: Life Without Goals? [Re: Veritas]
    #4608790 - 09/01/05 04:38 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

In my experience, having expectations of the future ensures disappointment.

Then, don't have expectations of the future.  Simple in principle, difficult in practice, right? 

At the very least, work towards understanding your expections.  Are they truly yours or someone else's from long ago?

I think if you honestly take inventory of your current reality and set realistic long term objectives and mini-objectives that involve FUN you will see positive changes.

If you set unrealistic long term goals with no mini-goals and go heavy on the expectations and guilt, then what was realistic but disappointment?  :wink:


--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: Life Without Goals? [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #4608833 - 09/01/05 04:51 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Perhaps what I really want is to remain flexible & not be so attached to things going the way I want them to.

While I agree that it is impossible (or seems so) to not develop some expectations about the future, conceptualizing them as the way things should be creates disappointment.

Thanks for the varied replies, everyone!  I appreciate hearing how you all handle your pursuit of goals. :heart:


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InvisiblezSDMF
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Re: Life Without Goals? [Re: Veritas]
    #4608852 - 09/01/05 04:55 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

i can't really say i live with a set goal or anythign like that in mind. i'm really a spur of the moment kinda guy, live from day to day and take it as it comes. i'm currently taking 2 classes at a community college and working, trying to find out exactly what i want to do with myself.

still don't know.


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Offlineaig
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Re: Life Without Goals? [Re: Veritas]
    #4609512 - 09/01/05 07:40 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

as a culture if we lack goals we will end up like the saudis...im being serious


--------------------
The things you own end up owning you.


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OfflineSerioOria
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Re: Life Without Goals? [Re: aig]
    #4610075 - 09/01/05 09:50 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

I lack spontanaeity when focused exclusively on accomplishment.




i dont like goals, they get in the way of expression and creativity and spontenuity and free will, also lends to the ego getting out of hand.


--------------------
Live every day like it is your first
or
Live every day like it is your last
My ArT!!


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OfflineBlueCoyote
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Re: Life Without Goals? [Re: SerioOria]
    #4612487 - 09/02/05 03:12 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Oh yes...the 'letting go' is the other side of the medall.
The art is to combine both.


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Though lovers be lost love shall not  And death shall have no dominion
........................................................
"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men."Martin Luther King, Jr.
'Acceptance is the absolute key - at that moment you gain freedom and you gain power and you gain courage'


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Amazon Shop: Scales

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