Home | Community | Message Board


Kratom Eye
Please support our sponsors.

Community >> Physical and Mental Well-Being

Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Jump to first unread post. Pages: 1
Offlinecb9fl
Senior ChildMolestationExpert
Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 3,104
Loc: florida
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Religion and lost childhood
    #4592361 - 08/28/05 10:33 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I need to vent my resentment and repressed anger at the loss of a normal childhood due to religion.

My parents were very strict Christians. They forced that garbage down my throat from the time I was born until I was able to rebel in my late teens. I was not only not given the choice of whether I wanted to participate in their religion or not, I was also made to believe that their religion was right in no uncertain terms. There was not question of whether the religion was right or wrong and I was certainly not encouraged to question the belief. I wasn't allowed to associate with any children except for those that were part of the religion. The once or twice they made an exception and allowed me to go to a school dance in middle school they were chaperones and kept watch of me the whole night. As you can imagine I did not enjoy myself. From as far back as I can remember I hated being forced to be a part of their religion. I wanted to be able to make my own decisions. A child needs guidance but he needs to be able to grow on his own. I feel like I've lost my childhood. Dating was strictly out of the question. I didn't go on my first real date until I was 18. I was brought up to believe that I shouldn't associate with anyone that wasn't part of their religion and that anyone not part of their religion couldn't possibly care about me. Basically I was taught that everyone else was bad. Imagine my surprise when I found out how they were no different. After my parents divorced I once confided in my mother over the phone that I had smoked weed. Instead of keeping that to herself and maintaining my trust she told my father and I got in trouble. Another time I had a pack of cigarettes on the school bus and one of the kids that was part of their religion saw me. He told on me and I got in trouble. Maybe that's why I don't trust anyone today. As you can imagine I rebelled as soon as I was old enough to drive. I ran away from home for a week and drank heavily. Pretty much drank heavily for a long time after that. But now I haven't drank in three straight months. And now instead of my father refuses to believe that the problems I had as a teenager stemmed from their abuse. Abuse is the only term I can use when someone forces their religion down your throat and takes away a normal childhood. Why can't they see that all that religious garbage only hurt me? I am who I am today because of my decisions not theirs. My father catching me with cigarettes at 15 and forcing me to smoke them till I was sick did nothing to stop me. I smoked for a long time after that and still do on occasion if I want to. His action did however make me resent him. It did give me a reason to dislike him. Likewise my mother telling on me did nothing to stop me from smoking reefer. I might even smoke some tonight. Of course I don't trust her now ... good call mom. I'm not a part of their religion and yet I turned out fine. Why can't they accept that their religion fucked me and only through my decisions was I able to have any semblance of a normal life?

Why?


--------------------
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. -Andre Gide

"Generosity is nothing else than a craze to possess. All which I abandon, all which I give, I enjoy in a higher manner through the fact that I give it away. To give is to enjoy possessively the object which one gives."


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisibledr_gonz
Registered: 08/18/03
Posts: 44,644
Re: Religion and lost childhood [Re: cb9fl]
    #4592543 - 08/28/05 11:01 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

How old are you? I had an identical childhood and ran for my life at 18.... Fuck religion.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinecb9fl
Senior ChildMolestationExpert
Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 3,104
Loc: florida
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: Religion and lost childhood [Re: dr_gonz]
    #4592553 - 08/28/05 11:04 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

mid twenties


--------------------
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. -Andre Gide

"Generosity is nothing else than a craze to possess. All which I abandon, all which I give, I enjoy in a higher manner through the fact that I give it away. To give is to enjoy possessively the object which one gives."


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisibledr_gonz
Registered: 08/18/03
Posts: 44,644
Re: Religion and lost childhood [Re: cb9fl]
    #4592615 - 08/28/05 11:14 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

yup same here, i wasn't allowed to do a fuckign thing growing up, including highschool.... maybe this explains my social anxiety, depression, etc....


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinecb9fl
Senior ChildMolestationExpert
Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 3,104
Loc: florida
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: Religion and lost childhood [Re: dr_gonz]
    #4592652 - 08/28/05 11:22 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I am horrible at meeting new people or making new friends. I can't go up to a girl for the life of me. I have no idea what to say and I get really nervous. I have to talk to people all the time for my job but trying to make friends is damn near impossible. Just tonight I started thinking about seeing a therapist or something to help me out but I don't have the money for it. I think what makes me so mad is that I know why I'm like this but it's such a part of my nature that I can't seem to change it. And on top of that my father refuses to acknowledge my problems or think it could have anything to do with my childhood. I guess I would like an apology or at least someone to tell me it's not my fault I'm this way.


--------------------
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. -Andre Gide

"Generosity is nothing else than a craze to possess. All which I abandon, all which I give, I enjoy in a higher manner through the fact that I give it away. To give is to enjoy possessively the object which one gives."


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisibledr_gonz
Registered: 08/18/03
Posts: 44,644
Re: Religion and lost childhood [Re: cb9fl]
    #4592673 - 08/28/05 11:26 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

brother, u and i are peas from the same pod. they brainwashed us as kids, but we deprogrammed ourselves. I honestly didn't start my life until 18. Once I was out for a while I reflected back on my childhood years and just asked myself, "what the fuck just happened?". I haven't talked to my mom or stepdad for over 3 years either... Go figure...


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinecb9fl
Senior ChildMolestationExpert
Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 3,104
Loc: florida
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: Religion and lost childhood [Re: cb9fl]
    #4592725 - 08/28/05 11:36 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I still talk to my father but I keep religion out of the coversation. Tonight we were eating dinner and somehow he started talking about discipline and I told him I still resented a lot of how I was treated as a child. Instead of trying to be comforting and what I would expect a father to be like he tried to make me out to be the bad guy. Put me in a really bad mood for a while.


--------------------
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. -Andre Gide

"Generosity is nothing else than a craze to possess. All which I abandon, all which I give, I enjoy in a higher manner through the fact that I give it away. To give is to enjoy possessively the object which one gives."


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisibledr_gonz
Registered: 08/18/03
Posts: 44,644
Re: Religion and lost childhood [Re: cb9fl]
    #4592732 - 08/28/05 11:38 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

i hear ya man. as an adult i really have no religious beliefs. i'm so fucking turned off to religion.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinecb9fl
Senior ChildMolestationExpert
Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 3,104
Loc: florida
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: Religion and lost childhood [Re: cb9fl]
    #4592762 - 08/28/05 11:42 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Me too. I consider myself an agnostic now. I think the biggest difference between me and them is that they think God owns their life but I know I own my life.


--------------------
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. -Andre Gide

"Generosity is nothing else than a craze to possess. All which I abandon, all which I give, I enjoy in a higher manner through the fact that I give it away. To give is to enjoy possessively the object which one gives."


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisibledr_gonz
Registered: 08/18/03
Posts: 44,644
Re: Religion and lost childhood [Re: cb9fl]
    #4592775 - 08/28/05 11:45 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

http://www.arts.cuhk.edu.hk/humftp/E-text/Russell/agnostic.htm

I looked into this a few years back, and I can agree with it for the most part. :thumbup:


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinecb9fl
Senior ChildMolestationExpert
Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 3,104
Loc: florida
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: Religion and lost childhood [Re: dr_gonz]
    #4592812 - 08/28/05 11:52 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Hah, I have Bertrand Russell's Why I am not a Christian on my table.


--------------------
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. -Andre Gide

"Generosity is nothing else than a craze to possess. All which I abandon, all which I give, I enjoy in a higher manner through the fact that I give it away. To give is to enjoy possessively the object which one gives."


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisibledr_gonz
Registered: 08/18/03
Posts: 44,644
Re: Religion and lost childhood [Re: cb9fl]
    #4592863 - 08/29/05 12:01 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

nice, i should look into that..

Bill Hick's does a nice job explaining why I'm not religious... lol


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisiblekrishnamurti
Stranger
Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 382
Re: Religion and lost childhood [Re: dr_gonz]
    #4593115 - 08/29/05 12:39 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

my parents moved me from public schools to a Christian Academy when i was in 4th grade, and i stayed there until my 8th grade year. i remember my mom telling me it was because 'you need something more academically challenging' but i know now that it was just a method of control. i was a misbehaving little kid, and they wanted the private school to straighten me out. they fucked my mind over big time. everything taught there involved God in some way with no room for questioning. they pumped the fear into my young little head. the transition back to public schools was the worst experience of my life. its just now, going on 19, that im finally learning that i have a choice in what i do in life and in what i think, and that i can trust no one.

i have absolutely NO fucking respect for the parents of the kids who send them to that school. they dont know what they are doing to their kid.


--------------------
I'll see you down in Guantanamo Bay

Donate spores to FSRC or suffer the consequences!*

Wikipedia

Overgrow has been shut down :sad: check out www.icmag.com if you need MJ info

*consequences may or may not be suffered


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinetomk
King of OTD

Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1,559
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 9 months, 5 days
Re: Religion and lost childhood [Re: cb9fl] * 1
    #4593141 - 08/29/05 12:44 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

You should be happy that you can use that anger to create a positive transformation in your life.

If you stay angry at them and never evolve beyond that, you are going to lose your adult life to them as well.


--------------------
"I am eternally free"


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisibledr_gonz
Registered: 08/18/03
Posts: 44,644
Re: Religion and lost childhood [Re: krishnamurti]
    #4593963 - 08/29/05 03:07 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I hear ya man. Aren't the scare tactics of the christian faith absolutely ludicrous!?


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleRavus
Not an EggshellWalker
 User Gallery

Registered: 07/18/03
Posts: 7,991
Loc: Cave of the Patriarchs
Re: Religion and lost childhood [Re: cb9fl]
    #4593975 - 08/29/05 03:13 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I hear you man. At least the experience opened your eyes to what bullshit these religions are.

Religious parents are some of the worst out there.


--------------------
So long as you are praised think only that you are not yet on your own path but on that of another.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleSilversoul
Rhizome
Male User Gallery

Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
Re: Religion and lost childhood [Re: cb9fl] * 1
    #4594174 - 08/29/05 04:19 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

There's a Christian radio station around here that advertises itself as "safe for the whole family." I always thought it was rather ironic, because I think if there's any bad influence children should be shielded from, it's religion. I don't care how much rap music they listen to or how much sex they see on TV. Those things have not done nearly the damage to so many unfortunate people like yourself. I'm sorry to hear of your fucked up childhood.


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineTheCrawlingKing
Lost Soul

Registered: 08/14/05
Posts: 982
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
Re: Religion and lost childhood [Re: cb9fl]
    #4594321 - 08/29/05 07:42 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

That must suck. In many respects I'm grateful that my parents were so chilled back about drugs, but sometimes I regret this. I can remember them chuckling when they caught me taking magic mushrooms. I sometimes felt as though they never really gave two shits about my welfare, in retrospect. It sounds as though your parents were doing what they thought was best for you, despite things appearing so malign to you. It's probably how they were raised.

What else is there to say, other than that you're passed that now. You're pretty much free to get on with whichever lifestyle you choose now, take comfort in this fact and quit dwelling in the past. I had a fucked up childhood too, kinda, but the issues of social anxiety can be dealt with pretty easily, you just have to be strong. I know it's easier said than done, but the longer you dwell on this the more painful it will become. Focus on building your new life free from your parents' control. Peace out.


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Jump to top. Pages: 1

Community >> Physical and Mental Well-Being

Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Rough childhood and current life
( 1 2 all )
AsTroNoMic_ChAoS 1,948 27 01/23/06 11:33 PM
by trendal
* I Have Lost The Will
( 1 2 all )
WeAreAllOne 1,391 22 08/24/05 10:24 PM
by browndustin
* Change; or, Lost and Alone? trendalM 1,724 16 11/23/03 01:54 PM
by trendal
* Childhood memories Anonymous 1,564 13 07/18/03 03:55 PM
by Grav
* confronted my mother about my childhood abuse
( 1 2 all )
redtailedhawk 2,913 20 07/14/07 03:29 PM
by CptnGarden
* i'm a pussy - i'm lost it and i'm scared
( 1 2 3 all )
Ego Death 3,484 48 01/15/07 12:31 PM
by WhiskeyClone
* I lost my weed. GGreatOne234 1,174 14 01/01/04 04:59 PM
by BadEnglish
* Lost the energy to talk Mike_yy 1,626 14 05/31/07 02:26 PM
by StickyWater

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: CherryBom, boO, Ped, Acidic_Sloth, ZippoZ, Rose, yogabunny, Jokeshopbeard
920 topic views. 0 members, 22 guests and 5 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Toggle Favorite | Print Topic | Stats ]
Search this thread:
Gaiana.nl
Please support our sponsors.

Copyright 1997-2016 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.068 seconds spending 0.004 seconds on 15 queries.