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OfflineHawkeye2
Resident TranceAddict

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 626
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
Please listen to my woes
    #4590573 - 08/28/05 12:41 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I know I come on here and complain alot, but nobody else will sit here and listen to my bitching and whining like those on a message board.


This is my story of the past 24 hours that have shattered what I call my LIFE.


It all started when my brother and I wanted to roll. Green macintosh apples, 2 a piece, parachuted(both of us). Two hours later, I'm rolling pretty fucking hard and my brother is freaking out clenching his chest having intense panic attacks, freaking out. He wasn't rolling, I actually think he's rolled so much he's lost the magic. Anyway, a few hours later I have some people over and in the midst of good conversation my brother is making self-depricating and slightly suicidal comments. I talked to him of course, got him water, did whatever the fuck I had to. I didn't care at this point.


Fast forward to the end of our roll and the beginning of our tweeks. Everyone is gone, it's 2:30am, my brother and I are still wired the fuck up. This time he's a fucking anxious wreck like before, he can't sit still, twirls his hair INCESSANTLY, shakes his entire leg, bites his lips, stares out into space while doing all of this with a hopeless and dead expression on his face. I try to talk to him, but at this point he is ready to go to another kid's house.


I was definitely not down with this so I passed and sent him off by himself. I now know this is one of the biggest mistakes I have made in a long time. I'm alone, 3 hours or so, explaining the existence of reality, and my brother comes walking, or should I say stumbling, in. He is completely incoherent, totally fucked up, and pretty much doesnt know where he is. At one point he actually tried to piss on a dresser in the bedroom. It's also around this time that my mother comes home, she's pretty fucking plastered too, making biting comments about our pupils, why are we still up, my brother is so fucking drunk he's screaming things and punching things making no sense.


Then I started to see that something wasn't normal. Something was definitely wrong. I first noticed when my brother seemed out of touch with reality. He would be lying down really fucked up, then suddenly open his eyes, look at me, and say shit like "Endo-Plasmic Reticulum!" and then lay back down. We then proceeded to the car where I listened to him ramble on and on about his ex girlfriend for literally 3 hours. I'm thinking yeah he's prolly just totally fucking drunk, because he's telling me the same things over and over, he has no sense of reality, he doesn't remember what has happened in the past few hours, he would tell me about shit he did while away drinking at the kid's house, and ask me shit like "Oh do you remember when.." and I had to tell him SEVERAL times that I WASN'T THERE. Did I also mention that he got in a fucking fist fight while away?


The retartedness starts to set in as his drunk wears off and it's just him. He is rambling, almost nonsensically, at a million words per minute, slurring speech, pressing his words, stuttering, unable to hold a coherent thought, I would try to change the subject, at one point I asked him a question about the lights on his car and he replied with another story about his girlfriend, completely oblivious to my sickened, shocked, panic-striken face. Ramble ramble, I try to get out of the car because I'm scared but he's a completely different person. He is acting so drastically different, it's almost like he has multiple personalities.


Then I began to get very disturbed. This is very hard to type out, and is agonizingly painful to even recall, to get it out, I feel sick, I'm disgusted. I can't go into detail because it's just too difficult to put into words, but he told me several extremely shocking, disturbing things that happened to him or my mother, perverse, disgusting things. When I think about it a void in my stomach is created so large that it feels as if I'm empty inside.


Then shit got too unbelievable. He told me he was born with a tail. He got raped by 200 people, several variations of this, he's trying to rhyme and pun like in the wikipedia psychosis entry, he's completely out of touch with reality and is totally oblivious to any attempt I made to tell him he's fucked up.


I don't know what to do. I'm absolutely worn, so much shit was revealed to me about my current situation and my family's, and I love my family and feel for them so much, hearing about THEIR troubles makes me feel like a hollow man, like I don't even exist.


GOD

This is only half of the horror I experienced in the past 24 hours. My reality is like a big fucking nightmare, I feel like it can't possibly be real. Fucking damn.


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Offlinefreddurgan
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Registered: 01/11/04
Posts: 3,648
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
Re: Please listen to my woes [Re: Hawkeye2]
    #4590586 - 08/28/05 12:47 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I would reccomend you don't think about it too much. People don't think normally at all while they're coming down and apparently from your other thread you rolled and tweeked. I'd say your brain is a trainwreck at the moment and can't handle anything.


--------------------
Ishmael
http://www.ishmael.org

Ron Paul 2008!
http://www.ronpaul2008.com/


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Invisibledblaney
Human Being

Registered: 10/03/04
Posts: 7,894
Loc: Here & Now
Re: Please listen to my woes [Re: Hawkeye2]
    #4590624 - 08/28/05 01:09 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Yeah sounds like you had quite a night!

Have you gotten any sleep since? How about your brother?

If he didn't experience any of the ecstastic effects from the ecstasy then perhaps he rolled too recently or he really has lost the magic. Either way, it sounds like he was significantly tweaked. Amphetamines have a way of screwing with your brain, and there is a thing called amphetamine psychosis, which can happen when someone has too much (sounds like this was the case last night).

Your best bet would probably be to get lots of rest and make sure your brother does the same. His brain is probably going to be very fragile and out of balance for at least a week or so...so do all you can to be there for him and help him take it easy and not do drugs for a little while.


--------------------
"What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?"

"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword"
- John Mayer

Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin.

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln


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OfflineHawkeye2
Resident TranceAddict

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 626
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
Re: Please listen to my woes [Re: dblaney]
    #4590642 - 08/28/05 01:19 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

dblaney18 said:
Yeah sounds like you had quite a night!

Have you gotten any sleep since? How about your brother?





I have not slept in over 24 hours. I have not eaten in almost 30. Same with my brother, we're both very weak, when I stand up I feel like I'm going to pass out from such an intense headrush, I just took a shower and had to hold myself so I could stand without collapsing.


I fucking wanted MDMA, not a strong ass speed-bomb that I'm nowhere near prepared for. I feel like such an idiot for getting so fucked from the meth but god I am still tweeked and not hungry in the least. I've been tweeking for more than 15 hours.


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OfflineHawkeye2
Resident TranceAddict

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 626
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
Re: Please listen to my woes [Re: Hawkeye2]
    #4590679 - 08/28/05 01:34 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

What the fuck, just as I think I'm getting better and decide to get a drink of water, suddenly 4 spots on the roof of my mouth and the inside of my lower lip swell up and fucking THROB and ACHE, mouth sores, what the fuck is this shit. Why do I have swollen and painful
areas in my lower lips?


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Invisiblegoobler
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Re: Please listen to my woes [Re: Hawkeye2]
    #4590689 - 08/28/05 01:37 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

demonic posession


ask your bro about it


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InvisibleIn(di)go
People of the sun.
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Registered: 10/30/00
Posts: 8,150
Loc: Cologne, Germany
Re: Please listen to my woes [Re: Hawkeye2]
    #4591143 - 08/28/05 04:11 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

is your brother still around?

my advice is STOP tweaking! and try to get some rest... drink LOTS of water and report back... sounds like your brother is in a psychotic state... if he doenst get better after sleeping, you should seek help...

good luck to you and your family


--------------------


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OfflineHawkeye2
Resident TranceAddict

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 626
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
Re: Please listen to my woes [Re: In(di)go]
    #4591158 - 08/28/05 04:15 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Well, update. My status, I took a shower, a multi vitamin, ate some doughnuts, a cup of jello, and a few grapes. Also drank water, feel much better but my body is exhausted. My brother feels like shit but he won't listen to me when I tell him to rest. He's thankfully come down from his psychotic state but damn, I'm not fuckin around with dirty pills, 16 and a half hours tweekin and counting.


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InvisibleIn(di)go
People of the sun.
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Posts: 8,150
Loc: Cologne, Germany
Re: Please listen to my woes [Re: Hawkeye2]
    #4591188 - 08/28/05 04:21 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

how old is your brother? he needs some sleep... good to hear that you had some food and drink... try to get your brother to sleep, the mere fact that he refuses to sleep is proof enough that he is still out of balance...


--------------------


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OfflineJadian
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Registered: 07/07/05
Posts: 7,404
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Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
Re: Please listen to my woes [Re: In(di)go]
    #4591240 - 08/28/05 04:36 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Seeing people you care about go so drug-crazy is scary. It's happened to me more times than I'd like to admit, and several times it has caused me to stop taking certain substrances for long periods of time.

I don't know what the best thing to do is, I'd just suggest convincing him to never combine those drugs again.


--------------------
LNC's official Alaskan stoner
:jackdaniels::drooling::jackdaniels:


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OfflineHawkeye2
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Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 626
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
Re: Please listen to my woes [Re: Jadian]
    #4591488 - 08/28/05 06:09 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

My brother is 20 years old. Good advice Jadian, I know I'm done with shitty pills, I hope he is too. I still haven't slept but I ate a decent meal. I'm starting to get weird warpy OEVs and peripheral streaks. Bah, I still feel tweeked.


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InvisibleMOTH
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,363
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Re: Please listen to my woes [Re: Hawkeye2]
    #4591512 - 08/28/05 06:18 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

For me, no sleep + no food + drugs is a recipe for a psychotic breakdown. 

I hope he's doing better now that he's eaten and slept.  :frown:


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OfflineHawkeye2
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Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 626
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Re: Please listen to my woes [Re: MOTH]
    #4591605 - 08/28/05 06:50 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I actually think im over 36 hours of no sleep at this point. 30 at least. Bah.


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Please listen to my woes [Re: Hawkeye2]
    #4591631 - 08/28/05 06:55 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

*sends you sleepy vibes*

The sandman will come soon!  Get some sleep. :heart:


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OfflineHawkeye2
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Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 626
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
Re: Please listen to my woes [Re: MOTH]
    #4591646 - 08/28/05 06:59 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

:] It's hard to sleep while it's still light.


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