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Todcasil
rogue DMT elf
Registered: 08/08/99
Posts: 16,381
Loc: Crawling on the floor...
Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
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closure
#4578646 - 08/25/05 11:50 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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i called my father for the first time in about a year in a half yesterday with the intent of apologizing to him.
i despised him my entire preteen/teen/preadult/adult life.
i couldn't stand him. he was no father. he was everything i hated about men. he is why i am so feminine. HE is the reason. because he is so overtly male, i cant stand it. hes a pig and an asshole to women, and not responsible for his first two born children, how utterly MALE.
but i called and left a message that i wanted to speak to him.
he called me this morning, and i apologized. i said i was sorry for being such an asshole and so arrogant towards him. i never wanted to do anything with him except when i needed to use him. i told him this. i told him i understand that he was just doing his best, but i apologize because i didn't even know what my best really was when i harbored such horrible feelings for him. i was an angry young man with no mother and what i felt like was no father. but i was just young and unaware of the great and secret show that everyone is acting in. i love my dad. we are so similar it used to hurt. now when i realizes something about myself that reminds me of my dad... i smile.
he said he would accept my apology, as long as i accept his. he apologized for all the things that i hated him for. for the first time ever. closure is the name of my twenty-fourth year.
cheers you fuckers, and if i ever cross you, tell me and i will bow to your bodies temple, step aside and smile. why not? we are all brothers! we are all children! we all need credit for what we do.
its not easy being human, though its always worth it <3
~Anthony
-------------------- Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect GODDESSES Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud GODS. ~Casil
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Boom
just a tester
Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 11,252
Loc: Cypress Creek
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Re: closure [Re: Todcasil]
#4578665 - 08/25/05 11:53 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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That's really cool, I bet you feel like a weight has been lifted
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Gillette
Jaded
Registered: 01/10/99
Posts: 4,058
Last seen: 23 days, 17 hours
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Re: closure [Re: Todcasil]
#4578668 - 08/25/05 11:53 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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good stuff <3
-------------------- ~Earth is the Insane Asylum of the Universe~ A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.
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OneMoreRobot3021
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,026
Loc: the sky
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Re: closure [Re: Todcasil]
#4578670 - 08/25/05 11:54 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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I need to do something similar with my father. Except, instead of apologizing for hating him, I need to tell him I don't love him and have hated him for a long time.
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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Todcasil
rogue DMT elf
Registered: 08/08/99
Posts: 16,381
Loc: Crawling on the floor...
Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
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Re: closure [Re: Boom]
#4578672 - 08/25/05 11:54 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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man this whole past two weeks since i turned 24 since the 8th of this month, this has happened in almost every area of my life... its so bizzare yet so wonderful
let sme believe that i am free...
i am a free spirit!
-------------------- Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect GODDESSES Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud GODS. ~Casil
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mantis
Registered: 01/26/03
Posts: 5,235
Loc: Bunker Alpha, GMC
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Re: closure [Re: Todcasil]
#4578675 - 08/25/05 11:55 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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^ that's a masculine hug btw
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Todcasil
rogue DMT elf
Registered: 08/08/99
Posts: 16,381
Loc: Crawling on the floor...
Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
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Re: closure [Re: mantis]
#4578680 - 08/25/05 11:55 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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/me hugs the shroomery
time to get to werk boys!!
peace
-------------------- Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect GODDESSES Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud GODS. ~Casil
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TYL3R
Registered: 11/19/04
Posts: 17,493
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Re: closure [Re: Todcasil]
#4578682 - 08/25/05 11:56 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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That deserves a dance
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Boom
just a tester
Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 11,252
Loc: Cypress Creek
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Re: closure [Re: TYL3R]
#4578684 - 08/25/05 11:56 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Todcasil
rogue DMT elf
Registered: 08/08/99
Posts: 16,381
Loc: Crawling on the floor...
Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
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Re: closure [Re: Boom]
#4578687 - 08/25/05 11:58 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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-------------------- Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect GODDESSES Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud GODS. ~Casil
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TYL3R
Registered: 11/19/04
Posts: 17,493
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Re: closure [Re: Boom]
#4578690 - 08/25/05 11:58 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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TYL3R
Registered: 11/19/04
Posts: 17,493
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Re: closure [Re: TYL3R]
#4578691 - 08/25/05 11:59 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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FOUR HUNDRED POST I GOTTA GO
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Organic
Lloyd
Registered: 04/14/02
Posts: 5,774
Loc: Overlook
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
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Re: closure [Re: Todcasil]
#4578702 - 08/25/05 12:02 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Thats awesome man, thats all I can say
--------------------
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: closure [Re: Todcasil]
#4578718 - 08/25/05 12:05 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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That's powerfull and deserves
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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In(di)go
People of the sun.
Registered: 10/29/00
Posts: 8,157
Loc: Cologne, Germany
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Re: closure [Re: Todcasil]
#4578761 - 08/25/05 12:17 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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that is really good to hear... and i have had a very similar experience the months after i turned 24 (may this year)... i never hated my dad, but ever since i moved to germany we have been pretty distant... so when i went to ecuador in april we had a talk and i told him all i have been yearning to tell him all these years... now whenever i think of him i think of this verse of Lord of the Rings...
All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not touched by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king.
my dad has been working his ass off all this years when everything he deserves is a nice and peaceful retirement... but he can't afford it... and this makes me so sad... it is good to hear that you cleared things with your dad... and yes, you are free... a free soul...
--------------------
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peeper
Even stranger
Registered: 01/07/05
Posts: 1,424
Loc: Tennessee
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
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That sounds great! I am so happy for you!
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Colonel Kurtz Ph.D
What What?
Registered: 07/22/04
Posts: 11,113
Loc: Shadow Moses
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Re: closure [Re: Todcasil]
#4579984 - 08/25/05 02:48 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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You're an amazing human being, I wish I could meet you in real life. Congratulations from deep within
-------------------- There's no better way to rock out than with your cock out!!
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In(di)go
People of the sun.
Registered: 10/29/00
Posts: 8,157
Loc: Cologne, Germany
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Quote:
Deepman said: You're an amazing human being, I wish I could meet you in real life. Congratulations from deep within
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afoaf
CEO DBK?
Registered: 11/08/02
Posts: 32,665
Loc: Ripple's Heart
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Re: closure [Re: Todcasil]
#4580036 - 08/25/05 02:59 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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feels good
-------------------- All I know is The Growery is a place where losers who get banned here go.
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Cowgold
Bullshit
Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 12,486
Loc: .
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Re: closure [Re: afoaf]
#4580069 - 08/25/05 03:05 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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ahmen brother!
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