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InvisibleIn(di)go
People of the sun.
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Registered: 10/30/00
Posts: 8,150
Loc: Cologne, Germany
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
    #4579365 - 08/25/05 03:29 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

i know it's a long read, but it's worth it...  :thumbup:

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix:

The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary.

THE STORY:

(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much that her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she wondered wistfully.

(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"

(Rebecca)
A-hole.

(Gary)
Bitch

(Rebecca)
F__K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!

(Gary)
Go drink some tea - whore.

(TEACHER)
A+ - I really liked this one


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InvisibleCowgold
Bullshit

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Registered: 04/04/05
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Re: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus [Re: In(di)go]
    #4579465 - 08/25/05 03:38 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

that's hilarious


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Offlineixitwistedixi
The TwIsTeD One

Registered: 07/22/05
Posts: 967
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Re: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus [Re: In(di)go]
    #4579489 - 08/25/05 03:40 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

LOL I FUCKING LOVE IT. that was great dude thx


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Offlinedrtyfrnk
PresidentialCandidate 2008
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Re: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus [Re: In(di)go]
    #4579502 - 08/25/05 03:42 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

:rotfl:

good storry, I liked it too :laugh:


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It's Krang, Bitch!  :krang:


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InvisibleColonel Kurtz Ph.D
What What?
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Re: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus [Re: drtyfrnk]
    #4579582 - 08/25/05 03:50 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Kind of old, but great nevertheless!! I loved this part:
"Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live." :lol:

Thanks for a good laugh you un-hippie whore :grin: :hug:

(I wonder if I should try this with my g/f for laughs)


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:whatwhat:

There's no better way to rock out than with your cock out!!


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InvisibleIn(di)go
People of the sun.
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Registered: 10/30/00
Posts: 8,150
Loc: Cologne, Germany
Re: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus [Re: Colonel Kurtz Ph.D]
    #4579740 - 08/25/05 04:09 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Deepman said:
Kind of old, but great nevertheless!! I loved this part:
"Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live." :lol:

Thanks for a good laugh you un-hippie whore :grin: :hug:

(I wonder if I should try this with my g/f for laughs)




hahaha you are VERY welcome  :heart:

oh and i had to think about you yesterday... there was a bug in my room and as i was about to kill it i heard your voice saying "don't you dare kill that living being you un-hippie whore"... and so i didn't...  :grin:


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Edited by In(di)go (08/25/05 04:11 PM)


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InvisibleColonel Kurtz Ph.D
What What?
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Re: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus [Re: In(di)go]
    #4579784 - 08/25/05 04:15 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

:lol:
Well, sometimes if a bug bugs me enough (:naughty:) I'd kill it or at least frighten it to go away, you know.

Gotta go now, I'll try to PM you later tonight :laugh:






(Hippie crack. WEEEEEE!!!!)


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:whatwhat:

There's no better way to rock out than with your cock out!!


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OfflinePS_Cubes
Searching...
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Registered: 01/30/05
Posts: 393
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Re: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus [Re: In(di)go]
    #4579806 - 08/25/05 04:18 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Thats a bitchen story, is the whole book that good?


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OfflineLethalX5
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Registered: 01/07/05
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Re: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus [Re: In(di)go]
    #4579850 - 08/25/05 04:27 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:


Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4




o man, after i read that i knew it was going to get good.  this was a funny post  :thumbup: :rofl2:


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"To get what you've never had, You must do what you've never done."


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InvisibleIn(di)go
People of the sun.
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Re: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus [Re: Colonel Kurtz Ph.D]
    #4579867 - 08/25/05 04:29 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

you should get your ass into msn, deeps... so we can chat

oh and ps_cubes... that is actually not in the book... it's just an example for the differences that are mentioned in that book... very funny nonetheless... skylon 4 :lol:


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InvisibleColonel Kurtz Ph.D
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Re: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus [Re: In(di)go]
    #4579892 - 08/25/05 04:33 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

In(di)go said:
you should get your ass into msn, deep. so we can :borfase:




:grin: I will when I come back  :thumbup:


--------------------
:whatwhat:

There's no better way to rock out than with your cock out!!


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InvisibleTheDude
is waiting forthe peak

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 2,876
Re: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus [Re: In(di)go]
    #4579962 - 08/25/05 04:44 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

:lol:I wonder if they ever saw eachother in class again?


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"this lebowski he called himself 'the dude'. now, 'dude', that's a name no one would self-apply where i come from but there was a lot about the dude that didn't make sense to me...."--the Stranger


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InvisibleIn(di)go
People of the sun.
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Registered: 10/30/00
Posts: 8,150
Loc: Cologne, Germany
Re: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus [Re: Colonel Kurtz Ph.D]
    #4580047 - 08/25/05 05:02 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

:lol: hehehehe

the_dude: yeah i was wondering the same thing


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InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
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Re: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus [Re: In(di)go]
    #4580115 - 08/25/05 05:12 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

If by "venus" you mean PLANET OF THE WHORES.


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InvisibleIn(di)go
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Re: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #4580120 - 08/25/05 05:13 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

HELLA_TIGHT said:
If by "venus" you mean PLANET OF THE WHORES.




:lol: i think venus actually IS the planet of the whores


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OfflineAlobar
A Bucket of Lard

Registered: 01/13/03
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Re: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus [Re: In(di)go]
    #4580243 - 08/25/05 05:33 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I needed that! Any chance it was a forgery, written by one author for the internet? I smell bullshit...


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InvisibleIn(di)go
People of the sun.
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Registered: 10/30/00
Posts: 8,150
Loc: Cologne, Germany
Re: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus [Re: Alobar]
    #4580270 - 08/25/05 05:37 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

it could be forgery... but who knows... i'm not claiming it's real, i just found it...


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OfflineAlobar
A Bucket of Lard

Registered: 01/13/03
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Re: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus [Re: In(di)go]
    #4580294 - 08/25/05 05:40 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Don't get me wrong, I loved it! Thanks a bunch.


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InvisibleIn(di)go
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Registered: 10/30/00
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Re: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus [Re: Alobar]
    #4580317 - 08/25/05 05:45 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

you are very welcome... i am kinda suspicious about it as well... but whatever... it made me laugh so i don't care where it's from hehehe


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InvisibleRavus
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Registered: 07/18/03
Posts: 7,991
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Re: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus [Re: In(di)go]
    #4580326 - 08/25/05 05:47 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

That was an awesome story.

I would completely be like Gary, except way more violent towards her shitty neurotic characters.


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So long as you are praised think only that you are not yet on your own path but on that of another.


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