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hey guys, first off i wanna say that i've only been here for a few months but you guys are awesome! the unity and knowledge flowing thru this site is unbelievable... thanks a million!
a situation came about today which i won't delve into detail about that left me to decide between mushrooms, which i have worked very hard and long to learn about and grow successfully (and something that i love to do) and a good friend that doesn't see these things the way i do, whom i love dearly.. the kind of friend that would do anything for me... it's just that we dun see eye to eye about certian things. i was in this predicament and almost chose the mushrooms over the friend when he brought to my attention how out of wack my priorities are.
i almost told this guy, who i've known my whole life, been thru it all together to walk. i was being so selfish and irrational that i let my anger blind me that he was actually making me choose. that's when i noticed i might have a problem with drugs. i mean i dun really have a physical problem.. but a very deep psycological one. i dun over do it at all but i've been putting these sorts of projects infront of everything else in my life often. which i don't realize it at the time, but is a very big problem. he was trying toget me to change 'my destructiveness' (he has done all of this in his past and seen the very negative side of what drugs can do to people... raised in the streets of brooklyn) and throw out my stash that i've been harvesting for a week now (about 4oz). and at first i wouldn't do it i basically told him that my mushies are more important to me. then we had a long talk and it all came out.
we've always been oppisite when it comes to the whole drug scene. but this time i can't beleive how irational and illogical i was acting. i was going to throw away a 22 year realationship for a months worth of work i did in my spare time?? what the hell was wrong with me? he couldn't believe i would even consider it.. just to see the pain in his eyes was a slap in the face, that wake up call. like 'man i'm letting this go too far' i was acting like my actions wouldn't affect anyone in my life and without respect for my friend.
after everything cooled down a bit, we had a long talk. we shared our points of views and i think we worked something out.. though nothing was resolved. i told him, in not so many words, that i don't think i am going to change, but only that i would respect his wishes. but somehow it was like it was alright. i'm still not too sure what just happened, but the shit people come up with in thier minds to rationalize things is amazing. i almost made a big mistake in my life, but thankfully i am blessed with a very good friend that is just wanting the best for me and is worried. i think he has a new understanding to how i percieve life and so do i. it's not always about some temporary high, there are more important things, a purpose(though i am still looking for mine). i almost took the long road and learned that the hard way tonight. glad it didn't have to come to that.
i'm not sure if i was trying to ask a question or if any of this even makes sense, but i just felt i needed to get it all off my chest. thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this.
If he, as a very good friend, cannot respect your responsible decision as an adult maybe you should rethink your friendship with him. If I have a friend that doesn't like what I do they can either get over it or piss off. Now if I have a real problem like an addiction and they confront me about it I'm not going to drop them as a friend. Regardless of the situation your friend should be able to respect your decision as a responsible adult to use mind-altering substances safely and responsibly. Just because he tried drugs and they didn't do good things for him doesn't mean you can't.
That sounds similar to my relationship with my mother. Recently I got in trouble with her over my heroin use. I am more than willing to stop using that, but she is firmly opposed to any and all mind-altering substances. Through the drug talks we have now been having, I have tried over and over to convince her of the positive aspects of psychedelics, but I am meeting with very little success. Psychedelics/halucinagens interest me far more than any other kind of drug, and I would gladly throw all the others away to be able to continue mushrooms. She doesn't believe me that mushrooms are not physically harmful or addicting, and thinks all the places I go to on the internet are simply pro-drug propaganda. I think a situation like this calls for some sort of compromise. If you can somehow persuade your friend to see things your way when it comes to mushrooms, let me know how you did it! Likewise, if I meet with any luck, I'll fill you in. For now, keep your friendship with this person. Unless they are being extremely unreasonable, a friendship should outweigh drugs. But as stated before, a good friendship includes compromise. They shouldn't be making you choose between them and mushrooms.
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