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Invisiblep4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 3,666
My life needs some help, Its falling apart...
    #4564940 - 08/22/05 12:22 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

First I would like to say I'm a senor in high school, I will soon be graduating. Tonight my mother got in a huge fight and I had to hold down my sister from beating the shit out of my mom. They fight constantly and I always end up in the middle of it. I just want to block them out but then my mother will start bitching at me constantly. She screams at me and threateneds to kick me out of the house because "I'm not willing to help her". I fucking help her every single day but she still bitches about me being a "spoiled little brat". My mother is crazy, she will run around hitting herself in her head, and it makes me sad to see this going on. She is so upsest in her house, her things, her perfect little world. She takes things so negative and its a very uncomfortable feeling with her running around yelling at us. On top of this I'm about to graduate and after that I don't know where to go. It seem like I lost interest in all my old hobbies that I was good at and now I'm not really good at much anything anymore. There is no real path in my life and I know my mom is going to just throw me out when I'm done with school. I have the drive to stick with my goals but I seriously don't know what goals to look for. I'm lost, I'm stuck in a little hole. The past is laughing in my face and the future seems to be yelling at my pathetic failures. I deserve to feel happy but the life I'm living doesn't give me the support to feel happy. Ive thought about suicide as a last result but I couldn't imagine myself hurting my precious organic body. I was hoping for some support or some help at least. I feel pretty lonely and I dwell on the fact that my life will be a failure. I hope things will get better.


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OfflinewIcKeDgRiNz
This fool istriiipin'
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Registered: 08/12/05
Posts: 105
Loc: MiAmi, FLoridA
Last seen: 9 years, 8 months
Re: My life needs some help, Its falling apart... [Re: p4kSouL]
    #4564971 - 08/22/05 12:32 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

dirty dont kno wat to say except keep yr head up, my senior year was pretty fukin terrible 2 but its over now, thankfully. maybe tryn getta job so then wen u graduate u can move out in2 a lil efficiency or sumthin..?

jus hope yr shit gets betr 4 u :thumbup:


--------------------
I can shoulder lean, iono how to dance tho...


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OfflineScrewjack
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Registered: 09/18/04
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Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
Re: My life needs some help, Its falling apart... [Re: p4kSouL]
    #4565131 - 08/22/05 01:14 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Yeah man, that sounds tough. I've been there, and actually I'm still there.  Always being worried I'll end up homeless, not having any direction in my life.  Everyone's different obviously, but I'm 21 and I've been there since I was graduating high school as well.  I think it's really normal for a person to be frightened by the uncertainties of having to survive in society, let alone trying to be happy at the same time. ( If this is what you meant by "...I don't know where to go....There is no real path in my life" )

The Mother thing I can relate to as well, mine's an alcoholic.  I'm at the point now where I'm no longer scared of being thrown out, I desperately WANT out. :smile: I just can't finance it yet.

With the whole losing interest in hobbies etc. it sounds like a little bit of depression.  Not necessarily clinical or anything, I mean, I don't know your background, but i think that's a common 'symptom'.  I've only recently been able to pick up my guitar after a couple of years and actually enjoy playing.

I'm sure everything will work out.  (I myself am counting on it.)  :peace:


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OfflineBlastrid
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Re: My life needs some help, Its falling apart... [Re: Screwjack]
    #4565530 - 08/22/05 03:04 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

listen. you're young. (really.)

college will help you find what you're looking for.

trust in yourself, find something you like and dig deeper. anything.

seriously man. You Can Do Anything. why not choose something you love to do?


--------------------
Blas'?trid (bl?s tr?d)
    n.  3rd generation derivitave of a combination of 'bastard' and 'blasted'.  Used as both an insult or an expletive.
    ex.  Blastrid!

Stereopattern  <--My music.


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Offlinescotsmushie
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Registered: 08/16/05
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Re: My life needs some help, Its falling apart... [Re: Blastrid]
    #4566018 - 08/22/05 11:01 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I know what its like to have fucked up parents who you do love and care about but at the same way feel some resentment towards them for theyre behaviour, and especially blaming you part

You seem to be very aware and on the ball which is a great asset. The advice I'd give to you is the same advice I was given, move away as soon as you can, or go to college with some accomodation

I reckon you can see exactly what the problem is, and once you're away from it, as its not you're psycological problem... you'l be alot happier

my 2p

good luck


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Offlinesoma_victim
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Registered: 06/16/05
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Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
Re: My life needs some help, Its falling apart... [Re: scotsmushie]
    #4569453 - 08/23/05 06:25 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

scotsmushie said:I reckon you can see exactly what the problem is, and once you're away from it, as its not you're psycological problem... you'l be alot happier




I agree with this totally. Next year things will start looking up, just stay positive.

High school was a pain in the ass for me too. I swear, since moving away from home and high school (almost 3 years now) every day just keeps getting better than the last. ( more or less  :tongue: )


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InvisibleNewbie
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Registered: 07/18/04
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Re: My life needs some help, Its falling apart... [Re: soma_victim]
    #4569534 - 08/23/05 08:00 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I've dealt with psycho parents in the past.  I wished my mom dead many tmes.  And I got my wish 3 years ago...I guess I don't hate her as much as I thought :frown:  Just hang in there, once you move out you can leave it behind you or confront it; whichever you choose.  Don't let it run your life, let yourself run it :wink:


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OfflineTinTree
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Re: My life needs some help, Its falling apart... [Re: p4kSouL]
    #4569882 - 08/23/05 10:47 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Indeed... all this advice is good. Find a decently paying job, get a loan, and go to community college. It is still quite affordable, even if your parents will not help you. It is your life, and you must make the most of it; you cannot worry about your mother's issues and successfully find a direction in life.

If you can find a time to talk seriously with your mother at some point when she is mostly calm and rational, perhaps tell her that because she obviously does not have a healthy relationship with either you or your sister, she might want to talk to a therapist, counselor, or priest to begin to break out of old habits and arguments; to begin building a healthy basis for loving family interaction.

Be very delicate and non-confrontational when speaking about it, make sure it doesn't sound as if you are accusing her of being a bad mother; but just explain it as a means for her to learn a method that the entire family can get along better.


--------------------
"I'm afraid of losing my obscurity. Genuineness only thrives in the dark. Like celery."
- Aldous Huxley


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OfflineColdNewWorld
LovePirateLostOnTheSea
Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 36
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: My life needs some help, Its falling apart... [Re: TinTree]
    #4572259 - 08/23/05 09:34 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

DUDE
GO to college. Just go, fuck these assholes who are supposedly your faimly. Dont let them bring you down. Sounds like your mom is treating you really shitty because she has a bunchhhhhhhhh of issues herself.

You can get loans for everything, scholarships, etc... pay it all off once you figure out a high/medium/low/whatever paying job, then youll be away from people that are bringing you down, and youll have found your happiness.

its right there, you can see it bro :wink:


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Invisiblep4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 3,666
Re: My life needs some help, Its falling apart... [Re: ColdNewWorld]
    #4573031 - 08/24/05 12:04 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Yes I plan on moving away but my main problem is the future. I want to do something great with my life but I feel that I mite not accomplish my main goals. I'm afraid that when I'm out and on my own that "what if" I don't reach my dreams. My life is pretty stressful right now I feel If i don't start doing great at my hobbies right now they wont do me good in the future and I'm going to get a low paid job like at pizza hut.


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OfflineBoringNickName
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Registered: 06/16/05
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Re: My life needs some help, Its falling apart... [Re: p4kSouL]
    #4573037 - 08/24/05 12:06 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Seriously, go off to school. Even if you don't finish(I didn't), it'll give you a chance to figure out what you want. Best education I ever got.


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