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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Rituals and Love
    #4550065 - 08/18/05 03:36 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Rituals and love seem so intertwined to me. What makes us love predictable patterns so much?


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Anxiety is what you make it.


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Rituals and Love [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #4550794 - 08/18/05 10:12 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

The illusion of safety, and permanence.


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"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


Edited by Icelander (08/18/05 10:13 AM)


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: Rituals and Love [Re: Icelander]
    #4551161 - 08/18/05 12:43 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

The illusion of safety, and permanence.

Home Sweet Home.

I got back from a week of visiting my elderly parents.  They are so programmed for meal times that you could set your watch by it.  Noon means lunch.  Dinner is at 5.  It's not just meals, but TV etc. etc. that is pre-programmed, pre-planned, and executed right on schedule, with typical Germanic efficiency.

As for me, I would just as soon eat when I feel like it and surf channels.  To agree with their rituals is one way for me to honor and obey and express my love for them.  Besides, it's hard to teach old dogs new tricks.  :wink:


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Anxiety is what you make it.


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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: Rituals and Love [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #4551175 - 08/18/05 12:48 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I do not love predictable patterns/routines. In fact, I strongly dislike them. Somehow I keep thinking that they are a sign of maturity, and that I really should become fond of routines. Perhaps the problem I have is that they seem so unnatural. Most human routines have little or nothing to do with seasons, impulses, needs, or awareness of the moment.

Life on Automatic Pilot is not for me.


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Rituals and Love [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #4551200 - 08/18/05 12:55 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

LunarEclipse said:
The illusion of safety, and permanence.

Home Sweet Home.

I got back from a week of visiting my elderly parents.  They are so programmed for meal times that you could set your watch by it.  Noon means lunch.  Dinner is at 5.  It's not just meals, but TV etc. etc. that is pre-programmed, pre-planned, and executed right on schedule, with typical Germanic efficiency.

As for me, I would just as soon eat when I feel like it and surf channels.  To agree with their rituals is one way for me to honor and obey and express my love for them.  Besides, it's hard to teach old dogs new tricks.  :wink:




Same with my folks when they were together and alive. Germans to the core.

Don Juan sez. Routines ain't such a good idea. But you won't and don't need to change others. Let them have their fun. :tongue: And they are a good mirror so we can become aware of all the routines in our own lives. There's plenty to look into. :blush:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: Rituals and Love [Re: Veritas]
    #4551204 - 08/18/05 12:58 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Somehow I keep thinking that they are a sign of maturity, and that I really should become fond of routines.

Well, routines ARE pretty typical for older people, and when one looks at the typical 80 year old who grew up in the depression era, that effect amplifies.  Perhaps you think you should be fond of routines because your parents (like mine) reinforced that so strongly, yet you rebelled (like me).

I don't mind routines to some extent, but let's face it variety is the spice of life.  My cat just loves routines and he's pretty smart.  He likes variety too but on his terms.  Now that I think about it, my cat is controlling me... :blush:


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OfflineOldWoodSpecter
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Re: Rituals and Love [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #4551213 - 08/18/05 01:01 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

LunarEclipse said:
Rituals and love seem so intertwined to me.  What makes us love predictable patterns so much?




We are searching for signs. we (don't count me in  :smirk:)  are so afraid that we are alone that we accept standard signs that tell us if someone loves us or not.

It's like when you desperatly want something to be true, you accept even the slightest indication as being undeniable evidence. (hmm... sounds somewhat formiliar on these forums  :wink: )

to get to the point:

a woman is willing to wait for the man to act out his part to show here that he loves her. Since she can never know for sure, and since her insticts are so dull that she can't recognize basic things, she accepts the ritual of giving an expensive ring, or being "romantic" as a sign of love.

We use rituals because we are so stupid that we can't show or recognize affection through more natural ways.

It is so easy to abuze such a silly system of communication, and it
gets abuzed every day.

It's similar to suits and ties. People actually  still (!!!) believe that someone wearing a suit can be 100% trusted.


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I descend upon your earth from the skies
I command your very souls you unbelievers
Bring before me what is mine


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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: Rituals and Love [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #4551219 - 08/18/05 01:02 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I think I got the idea of routines being good and mature from watching "Leave it to Beaver."

My mother was very anti-routine, and I had an unstable lifestyle growing up. I always thought I would be different when I was an adult.

Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, after all!


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: Rituals and Love [Re: OldWoodSpecter]
    #4551269 - 08/18/05 01:13 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

We use rituals because we are so stupid that we can't show or recognize affection through more natural ways.


Bingo.  :thumbup:  I think stupid may be a little harsh but certainly a little dense, thick, and rigid.  Even on our best days we are bubbles bumping into bubbles.



--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


Edited by LunarEclipse (08/18/05 01:16 PM)


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OfflineOldWoodSpecter
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Re: Rituals and Love [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #4551273 - 08/18/05 01:14 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

but "stupid" sounds so good in text


--------------------
I descend upon your earth from the skies
I command your very souls you unbelievers
Bring before me what is mine


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: Rituals and Love [Re: OldWoodSpecter]
    #4551298 - 08/18/05 01:19 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

And stupid really does apply, as we live our lives on autopilot as Veritas so rightly describes it.

Perhaps this is why I live alone, perhaps this is why I don't go to church, perhaps this is why I don't work a 9-5 job.

Most people love to compromise with their spouse or significant other.  Sunday mornings they go to church.  Monday they are at work on time.   

Not me.  I hate rituals.  But hey, that's just me... :grin: 


--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


Edited by LunarEclipse (08/18/05 01:25 PM)


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OfflineOldWoodSpecter
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Re: Rituals and Love [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #4551463 - 08/18/05 02:06 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

yea, autopilot, to make the thing worse, its not natural autopilot, this one is soled in supermarkets, and advertised on TV


--------------------
I descend upon your earth from the skies
I command your very souls you unbelievers
Bring before me what is mine


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: Rituals and Love [Re: OldWoodSpecter]
    #4551894 - 08/18/05 04:21 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

yea, autopilot, to make the thing worse, its not natural autopilot, this one is soled in supermarkets, and advertised on TV


One of my prime objectives is to eliminate as much grocery store food from my diet as possible. I believe the dairy/bread/beef/snack/soft drink industries rituals are poisoning us. If you think "milk does a body good" try again...


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Anxiety is what you make it.


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