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Swami
Eggshell Walker
Registered: 01/18/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
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How to be a Fluffernaut - A Comprehensive Guide
#4543255 - 08/16/05 05:32 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Mods: Please make this a sticky.
Many aspire to full Fluffernauthood, but most fall short in one avenue or another, merely remaining a neophyte. Well no more! Follow these Ten Commandments and you may qualify for initiation into the inner circle.
1. Constantly reference thoroughly debunked books and hoaxes as evidence for your POV and repeat disproven myths such as the 100th Monkey or only using 10% of our brain.
2. List a vast number of websites all in accord with one another; yet sporting no evidence. Double-blind test are a no-no!
3. Come up with a philosophy that is totally impossible to test and proclaim that is the way reality actually is.
4. Fail to directly respond to any straightforward, easily answered question.
5. Use the Secret Society and/or Elitist Group or Too Noble defense as to why mysterious powers cannot be publicly demonstrated even after you claim to be able to publicly demonstrate them.
6. Denounce Randi and his foundation rather than ACTUALLY TAKING THE FRIGGING test. It is much harder to fail this way.
7. Analyze the poster. Ask why he wet the bed as a child and is a lonely, mean SOB - anything to distract from addressing a salient point made.
8. Sulk, pout, and whine to the Mods about the unfairness of it all. Make cowardly snipes on posters in another forum and rate the poster poorly for having a different view.
9. Make up whole new philosophies based totally on fantasy. Aliens, angels and other interdimensional beings are a good starting point.
10. Proclaim what we might be able do if we were super-advanced rather than we currently can demonstrably do. "If you removed all blockages and had total faith you could easily levitate and become immortal."
Master these and you are well on your way.
Happy chakras to you!
Swami
-------------------- The proof is in the pudding.
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Veritas
Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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Re: How to be a Fluffernaut - A Comprehensive Guide [Re: Swami]
#4543272 - 08/16/05 05:36 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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I'm laughing quickly before this gets locked!!
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ELECTRIC
I'm a Puppet
Registered: 07/21/05
Posts: 177
Loc: Bonded with string...
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Re: How to be a Fluffernaut - A Comprehensive Guide [Re: Swami]
#4543408 - 08/16/05 06:23 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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I like point #9
Oh shoot.... I missed that based totally part.
Uhhhhhhhhh....
ELECTRIC goes back to playing some guitar...
-------------------- Nos confido phasmatis occultus in vicis postulo nostrum tutela donatus futurus.
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psychomime
o_O
Registered: 05/16/05
Posts: 520
Last seen: 1 month, 15 days
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Re: How to be a Fluffernaut - A Comprehensive Guide [Re: Swami]
#4543563 - 08/16/05 07:10 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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it's obvious that you only use 10% of your brain. anyone with a solid grasp of the holographic paradigm can see that the lifeforce is weak in you. it's unfair that you are allowed to live. you should read this and maybe you too can become an operating thetan level IV. drink 8 glasses of water a day.
Am I a fluffernaut yet?
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iambobby
I am what I am
Registered: 07/22/05
Posts: 201
Loc: Australia
Last seen: 18 years, 7 months
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Re: How to be a Fluffernaut - A Comprehensive Guide [Re: psychomime]
#4543711 - 08/16/05 07:51 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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When are you actually going to write something original yourself Swami? It seems to me like you've copied Alan Watts material "on how to be a guru" and claimed it as your own. You're a victim of your own judgements.
-------------------- Yesterday, the world was flat. Today, the world is a round ball. Tomorrow? The world will not be defined so easily with words...
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psychomime
o_O
Registered: 05/16/05
Posts: 520
Last seen: 1 month, 15 days
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Re: How to be a Fluffernaut - A Comprehensive Guide [Re: iambobby]
#4543805 - 08/16/05 08:15 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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bobby, I suggest you read this post. remember that yourself and your beliefs are seperate. an attack on the one is not an attack on the other. relax and don't take the things you read here too seriously!
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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Re: How to be a Fluffernaut - A Comprehensive Guide [Re: Swami]
#4543947 - 08/16/05 08:46 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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"7. Analyze the poster. Ask why he wet the bed as a child and is a lonely, mean SOB - anything to distract from addressing a salient point made."
Aren't you the guy who tortures puppys with straight razors and needle nose pliers?
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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goobler
Reanimated
Registered: 02/24/03
Posts: 48,909
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Re: How to be a Fluffernaut - A Comprehensive Guide [Re: Swami]
#4543955 - 08/16/05 08:49 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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thats not a fluffernaut
1. fluffer link send redefine 316 up, 19 down
(noun) a person in the adult entertainment industry whose job it is to give male porno stars blowjobs in order to get them ready to perform.Where's my fucking fluffer, goddammit! Source: secho, Jan 18, 2003 2. Fluffer link send redefine 87 up, 6 down
A fluffer prepares the cocks of pornstars for action on the set of an adult movie before the shooting of an explicit sex scene.That fluffer gobbled my knob with such vigor...that I almost blew yogurt raisens before my big scene Source: Fluffer, May 20, 2003 3. fluffer link send redefine 28 up, 3 down
one who prepares a pornstar for a scene by sucking his testicles and/or penis behind the scenes.Fox was a famous pornstar, but without his fluffer Jarrod, Fox could never get hard. Source: Nayan, Feb 1, 2005 4. fluffer link send redefine 23 up, 2 down
Pornographic film industry employee who is responsible for keeping male performers aroused (usually via oral sex) between takes during a shoot.
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gettinjiggywithit
jiggy
Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
Loc: Heart of Laughter
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Re: How to be a Fluffernaut - A Comprehensive Guide [Re: goobler]
#4544066 - 08/16/05 09:17 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Now the truth is finally coming out. Thank you goobler.
Swami, is that what this post is really about? Are you using mind control techniques to send out subliminal messages for someone to come fluffer your nuts?
-------------------- Ahuwale ka nane huna.
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Diploid
Cuban
Registered: 01/09/03
Posts: 19,274
Loc: Rabbit Hole
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Re: How to be a Fluffernaut - A Comprehensive Guide [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
#4544132 - 08/16/05 09:34 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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-------------------- Republican Values: 1) You can't get married to your spouse who is the same sex as you. 2) You can't have an abortion no matter how much you don't want a child. 3) You can't have a certain plant in your possession or you'll get locked up with a rapist and a murderer. 4) We need a smaller, less-intrusive government.
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iambobby
I am what I am
Registered: 07/22/05
Posts: 201
Loc: Australia
Last seen: 18 years, 7 months
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Re: How to be a Fluffernaut - A Comprehensive Guide [Re: Diploid]
#4544345 - 08/16/05 10:20 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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I hope whoever takes the role of fluffernort for Swami also takes with them a big dose of loving touch. Don't bite - this could be severely damaging for the obviously traumatised chap.
11. Always write in cynical humour as a way of never actually involving yourself or connecting yourself to what you are saying. This will act as a good defense for would be questioners of your integrity.
-------------------- Yesterday, the world was flat. Today, the world is a round ball. Tomorrow? The world will not be defined so easily with words...
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Swami
Eggshell Walker
Registered: 01/18/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
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Re: How to be a Fluffernaut - A Comprehensive Guide [Re: iambobby]
#4544443 - 08/16/05 10:46 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Dear Booby,
Here is where you totally miss the mark:
This will act as a good defense for would be questioners of your integrity.
In a philosophic discussion, a person's premise is all that matters. Their character or motivation (or your erroneous impression thereof) has no bearing whatsoever.
Grok this one fact and we can move forward.
-------------------- The proof is in the pudding.
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Swami
Eggshell Walker
Registered: 01/18/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
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Re: How to be a Fluffernaut - A Comprehensive Guide [Re: goobler]
#4544452 - 08/16/05 10:49 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Gobbler,
Thanks for filling in the critical gap of my knowledge concerning porn movies. Perhaps I can utilize this handy factoid when I appear on Jeopardy.
-------------------- The proof is in the pudding.
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iambobby
I am what I am
Registered: 07/22/05
Posts: 201
Loc: Australia
Last seen: 18 years, 7 months
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Re: How to be a Fluffernaut - A Comprehensive Guide [Re: Swami]
#4544983 - 08/17/05 12:33 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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12. Act as though you wrote the rule book on the ways of philosophical discussion
-------------------- Yesterday, the world was flat. Today, the world is a round ball. Tomorrow? The world will not be defined so easily with words...
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Drink_Punk_Soda
Now with ExtraVaganza!?
Registered: 06/14/02
Posts: 1,677
Loc: Nowhere fast
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
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Re: How to be a Fluffernaut - A Comprehensive Guide [Re: Swami]
#4545023 - 08/17/05 12:44 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Swami said: In a philosophic discussion, a person's premise is all that matters. Their character or motivation (or your erroneous impression thereof) has no bearing whatsoever.
So.. ethos has no place in philosophy?
-------------------- Kumbayah my lord, Kumbayah...
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Prosgeopax
Jaded, yethopeful?
Registered: 01/28/05
Posts: 1,258
Loc: Appearing at a mall near ...
Last seen: 18 years, 3 months
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Re: How to be a Fluffernaut - A Comprehensive Guide [Re: Swami]
#4545950 - 08/17/05 08:34 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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-------------------- Money doesn't grow on trees, but deficits do grow under Bushes. You can accept, reject, or examine and test any new idea that comes to you. The wise man chooses the third way. - Tom Willhite Disclaimer: I reserve the right to change my opinions should I become aware of additional facts, the falsification of information or different perspectives. Articles written by others which I post may not necessarily reflect my opinions in part or in whole, my opinions may be in direct opposition, the topic may be one on which I have yet to formulate an opinion or have doubts about, an article may be posted solely with the intent to stimulate discussion or contemplation.
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mecreateme
YoUisMEEMsiUoY
Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 2,727
Loc: Memphrica
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Re: How to be a Fluffernaut - A Comprehensive Guide [Re: iambobby]
#4546445 - 08/17/05 11:18 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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-------------------- No ONE wants to know the ultimate TRUTH, as soon as YOU find IT out, YOU want to forget IT. You are everything's way of feeling itself. Happy Schwag, everygodly!
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redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,063
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Re: How to be a Fluffernaut - A Comprehensive Guide [Re: mecreateme]
#4546479 - 08/17/05 11:26 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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all there is is attitude
-------------------- _ 🧠 _
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Diploid
Cuban
Registered: 01/09/03
Posts: 19,274
Loc: Rabbit Hole
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Re: How to be a Fluffernaut - A Comprehensive Guide [Re: iambobby]
#4547295 - 08/17/05 03:52 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Act as though
So, I'm confused...
If Swami improved his attitude, would the truth/falsity of his statements change?
-------------------- Republican Values: 1) You can't get married to your spouse who is the same sex as you. 2) You can't have an abortion no matter how much you don't want a child. 3) You can't have a certain plant in your possession or you'll get locked up with a rapist and a murderer. 4) We need a smaller, less-intrusive government.
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iambobby
I am what I am
Registered: 07/22/05
Posts: 201
Loc: Australia
Last seen: 18 years, 7 months
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Re: How to be a Fluffernaut - A Comprehensive Guide [Re: Diploid]
#4547535 - 08/17/05 04:52 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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The truth of his statements are a given, there's no denying that.
However what defines truth in this paradigm is collective belief. If one desires his words to be accepted throughout the passages it just makes more sense to come from encouragement and expansion. If your mentality is to mock and critisize, it doesn't matter how right you are, eventually you will be resented and a new way will appear, even if that is illusion.
I am sure Swami desires close emotional connection, perhaps through this forum, perhaps however these strong intellectual barriers keep this at a distance. Truth in his argument is not something I question. I have compassion for him. Not "I feel sorry for him he's so ignorant", but real wisdom compassion. When I read Swami's words I feel like I'm reading things I said when I was 10 years younger at the ripe old age of 14. For me, my ultimate skepticism came from a place of feeling hatred against the world for the way it was. "Where's the proof?" I would ask. "Check out the world", I would say, "As if there's a single bit of intelligence governing this world when there's shit like X taking place...". "Don't tell me about no fucking god, god wouldn't let this happen".
But see eventually what happens as you try to move further and further away from this Love, is the Pain grows stronger and stronger and stronger. It becomes so much that it cripples you into silence. Ultimately humbled, he begins to recognise a master teaching at work. "Am I creating this?", he questions. He begins to realise that equally proportionate to the distance he puts between himself and Love and Trust, is the size of Pain and Fear he is experiencing. The clocks rewind and he finds an even greater love than he ever imagined possible.
Go easy Swami.
-------------------- Yesterday, the world was flat. Today, the world is a round ball. Tomorrow? The world will not be defined so easily with words...
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