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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
I want to be a Televangelist...
    #4541742 - 08/16/05 11:24 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

but I am too short; do not have perfect hair, $2000 suits, and most importantly; do not have that over-enunciated sing-song southern drawl so necessary to sound Biblical. (I think Jesus came from Georgia, but am not sure.) Also don't know if I could get that really sincere look when begging for money.

Is there a school or course I could take?


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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Invisiblegoobler
Reanimated
 User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 02/24/03
Posts: 48,909
Re: I want to be a Televangelist... [Re: Swami]
    #4541825 - 08/16/05 11:57 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I would turn you on


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InvisibleVirgilKane
Miner for truth and delusion
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/17/05
Posts: 1,131
Loc: lowdown
Re: I want to be a Televangelist... [Re: Swami]
    #4541936 - 08/16/05 12:44 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Well, you could start out by getting involved in politics....


--------------------
Absense of evidence is not evidence of absense...

"Religion is a defense against a religious experience"
              Carl G. Jung

 
"So really, ordinary reality is a kind of chemical habit, sanctioned by culture, which says it's okay to use certain drugs, eat certain foods, and have certain sexual behaviors. However, when you transcend all this pre-conditioning by returning to the original wisdom of the animal body, then you discover this immense dimension of opportunity. For some people, it is a frightening risk. To me, that's the psychedelic experience."
Terence McKenna


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
Re: I want to be a Televangelist... [Re: Swami]
    #4542866 - 08/16/05 05:16 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

William Shatner had to stand on a box when he talked to Lt. Uhurah? I'm sure we can get you some lifts. You are smart enough to learn the rest. You have that, your a dumb jerk so listen up style that can get people coughing up big bucks to be on your good side. Go for it. Can you use me? Maybe to pass the collection plate. :wink:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: I want to be a Televangelist... [Re: Icelander]
    #4542891 - 08/16/05 05:28 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Note to folks: Icelander is tall and has male model or movie star good looks - seriously.

I think YOU should be the front man. I can help you write the script or you could wear one of those ear insert mini-transmitters and together we could fleece the flock.  :thumbup:


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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OfflineOldWoodSpecter
waiting
Male

Registered: 02/01/05
Posts: 4,033
Loc: mountains and lakes
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
Re: I want to be a Televangelist... [Re: Swami]
    #4542911 - 08/16/05 05:36 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Jesus doesn't want you like this. He does not tolerate people who can't take care of themselfs. You should find ways to get rich quickly before the final judgement comes. If you can't do it through work, then find other ways, take it from the poor, they deserve it for not being able to take care of themselfs anyway. Once you get dressed well, have a cheezy golden watch, and smell accoarding ot what is proper, you might get accepted into the house of lord.
Listen to my words, and listen good. Lord does not tolerate the smell of poor. You have to BELIEVE, in order to be able enough to take from others. So BELIEVE brother, and buy yourself a good suit.
It was written in the holly book: "Trully I say onto you, he who stands by waiting for mercy and expects justice will taste the fires of hell, but he who takes from the hand of his brother will open the doors of my kingdom"

I dare you to search houndrets of pages in search for the quote

Amen and Alelujah  :rolleyes:


--------------------
I descend upon your earth from the skies
I command your very souls you unbelievers
Bring before me what is mine


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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: I want to be a Televangelist... [Re: OldWoodSpecter]
    #4542919 - 08/16/05 05:40 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Amen brother Wood.


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
Re: I want to be a Televangelist... [Re: Swami]
    #4543506 - 08/16/05 08:51 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Swami said:
Note to folks: Icelander is tall and has male model or movie star good looks - seriously.

I think YOU should be the front man. I can help you write t :thumbup:he script or you could wear one of those ear insert mini-transmitters and together we could fleece the flock. 




Of course Veritas will help write the scripts and critique our act. Remember the trinity. :thumbup:

I would love to live on a beautiful private estate. What fun parties we would have. Interspersed with quiet time at the waterfall.

Lets talk about this via PM. :thumbup:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
Re: I want to be a Televangelist... [Re: Icelander]
    #4543512 - 08/16/05 08:53 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Actually during my Jesus Freak days I did tour some and preach from the pulpit. I have no fear of an audience. I love to be the center of attention.  :smile:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
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