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Offlinepuwtrip
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Registered: 03/16/05
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peeking at the devil (cannabis)
    #4534504 - 08/14/05 06:24 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Substance: Marijuana
Dosage: Amount unknown/not given

i had some weed last night. i've only smoked some 8 times before. twice i've had fun times, the rest had me paranoid. i wondered what would happen...

i smoked about a bowl and a half out of my little pipe and it kicked in. my breathing intensified and thoughts began to flood my head. i noticed how they were negative things; things that scared and frightened me, yet i could not shut them out. i tried to smile but i only realised that i didn't want to, that i couldn't. my sister, who also had a toke, was talking and i couldn't listen in, because i was zoning into my own thoughts. i heard a few words but could never get the whole sentence. then i would forget everything. i was stuck in a short thought loop.

we turned on the tv, as conversation was hard. i realized that i might need privacy because i wasn't sure if i was talking to myself, so i went to lay on the bed with my eyes shut. evil scenarios were rushing through my head--still. i tried to calm myself down so i wouldn't panick, and this worked, but i could not make the thoughts stop. a simple thought would begin to tumble downhill, leading to images of bloodshed, murder and rape. before long, i realized that the thoughts weren't my own, i am not sick and twisted, unlike that voice. at that point he revealed himself: "your're posessed" the the voice shouted "i am the devil" it commanded.

it was a hard thing to believe, that i was expereincing the devil, but there was no other explination. i began to argue with him, and he would retort with tasks i must do. however, because i was still stuck in thought loops, he had to repeat himself often and this angered him. i would not accept these tasks he wanted of me, and i denied his requests. i told him i had a choice in my actions; that i was going to heaven. he laughed, and said yes, "you have a choice". i told him i wanted this to end, but he continued to will me to do evil. i refrained from doing those things, although it was very tempting to satisfy him. i knew he was pure evil and that he was brought on by the use of the weed. i told him this and then went on to explain that pure goodness was the mushroom. this excited me but infuriated him. he tried to explain otherwise, but i insisted on my point. i even said i would introduce the mushroom to him (though i had none) and allow them battle it out. he was maddened beyond anger. i could sense his fear. i told him i would tell the world (shroomery?) of his evil and how he was holding me captive. he laughed. as soon as he had said something evil, i said, "i'll tell them that you said..." and then i forgot what it was he had spoken of. he was wiping my memory and i could not recall. he continued to teast and torment me with mind games that i could not win. i held out with his abuse until the imagery and his voice were faded and drowned out by my own thought. then i fell into sleep.


Edited by OneMoreRobot3021 (08/25/05 12:13 PM)


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OfflineThrasher420x
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Re: peeking at the devil [Re: puwtrip]
    #4534892 - 08/14/05 08:18 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

HAHA




i dont know what kind of bud you had but i want some. :stoned:


--------------------


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Offlinepuwtrip
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Re: peeking at the devil [Re: Thrasher420x]
    #4534925 - 08/14/05 08:27 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

i've decided not to try smoking again until i have some mushrooms onhand. it might sound fun and games but the devil aint no nice guy.


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Invisiblemecreateme
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Re: peeking at the devil [Re: puwtrip]
    #4537438 - 08/15/05 12:38 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Be careful tripping if you had such an extreme reaction to just weed.
Tripping will only be more insane and crazy.


--------------------
No ONE wants to know the ultimate TRUTH, as soon as YOU find IT out, YOU want to forget IT.

You are everything's way of feeling itself.

Happy Schwag, everygodly!


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Offlinepuwtrip
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Re: peeking at the devil [Re: mecreateme]
    #4538593 - 08/15/05 05:27 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

mushrooms have always shown me love, above and beyond anything weed ever provided even before 'the fear' set in. weed made me giggly and happy giving me a drunk like stupor. it was a trap to lure me in, but even the happiness that it promised could not come within a million miles of the TRUE LOVE offered under the guidance of mushrooms.

from my last experience of weed, it was the opposite effect of shrooms. i got the same visuals, but instead of a blissful color wonderland, it was a deamonic black and white nightmare. instead of voices guiding towards good, they were condemning me to evil. instead of feeling free and emotionally sound, i was imprisoned and psychotic. instead of the world breathing through me, i was choked and fighting for breath. physically, my movements were restricted under weed, where mushrooms allow me unlimited range of motion unlimited exploration.

in the end, i can only say that if there is such a thing as pure evil, it talks and attempts to posess me under the influence of weed. pure goodness on the other hand is represented by the psilocybin mushroom and shows me ways to love the whole world; a stance which i agree with, and a task that i am more suited to perform.

weed is a product of the devil, a sly cover for hapiness, dumbing and paralyzing, then sucking you in to evil. mushrooms are a product of god, from the first moment, allowing ultimate freedom and the type of happiness that makes you want to cry out of love. i took a look at both realms and i have made my choice.


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Invisiblemecreateme
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Re: peeking at the devil [Re: puwtrip]
    #4539301 - 08/15/05 08:14 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

You are looking through the absolution of a few experiences?
Try running with the idea of set and setting. The reason you felt so bad was most likely because of bad set, which means your own mindset, or your setting, which is the environment you are in. The substances are essentially neutral, and actually are more like tools that you can choose to pick up and use. If you see "evil" in one, it is because of your slanted view in your limited use of it. Human beings always wanna call absolutions. Ohhhh, I had one bad time on it, that means I will forever have bad times. One experience does not equal many.

Your breath draws you towards God. Enough experience and you will realize you need none of the drugs, none of the mushrooms that are from God. And you will probably also recognize the triviality of seeing the devil in weed. You will see that you are in God, and God is a part of you, that the weed cannot make the devil do whatever you think he is gonna do to you...
Your mind is very powerful and can play tricks on you.

Still, I stand that you probably need to move slower in your psychedelic travels, as you seem quite unhinged already. Try seeing it as pure experience, and the good and evil are but labels put on it. Try analyzing good and bad scenarios. Like take the Nazi soldier, for example. Born and raised in Germany, all he knows is the way of his country. All the sudden he is in a fighting brigade in a big, big war.
He kills an enemy soldier. From the Nazi soldiers viewpoint, he is doing good by fighting for his country and killing an enemy soldier. According to him he is "doing the right thing." However, thousands of miles away, a soldiers mother get a pair of dog tags and curses the evil swine that "killed her good soldier boy." I don't know about you, but I saw the title good and evil switch many times in that little story. Does it start to makes sense how relative good and evil are?


--------------------
No ONE wants to know the ultimate TRUTH, as soon as YOU find IT out, YOU want to forget IT.

You are everything's way of feeling itself.

Happy Schwag, everygodly!


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Offlinepuwtrip
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Re: peeking at the devil [Re: mecreateme]
    #4539390 - 08/15/05 08:38 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

of course, i totally agree with you on all your points. perception is a tricky thing. the one thing i am not is absolute; i was just trying to explain things the way i saw them from the point of view of my trip. i know that many people have a blast on weed and i know that it contains no evil. what i can guess at is that chemicals interact differntly in people. sure there are not so good things lingering in my mind, but to bring them out to the extent that it did seems a little odd. i've shroomed when i was in a confused state and upset. what i realized though, was that this was my state and it had nothing to do with the shrooms. once i dealt with my problem and changed my thoughts and scenery (and talked to a kind random stranger) everything was better again. it was just a mood swing.. it never willed me to poke my eye out (by making me feel uncomfortable doing anything else) or kill a neighbour or something (like the other night). you can say that its tricks and games the mind plays or its the weed, but i had a choice yes. to do what i wanted and to think what i want of the expereince. and i dont know what to think. on the one hand i tell myself its the mind, but. if shrooms or acid made me believe in a higher power. why wouldnt this experience make me believe in a lower one?

you are right, i have limited expereince in this realm and these are thoughts. i cant say i saw the devil: im going to go pray to god to save my soul from eternal damnation or on the other hand i can. who's to say whats more benefitial.


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OfflineGreenOsiris
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Re: peeking at the devil [Re: puwtrip]
    #4540751 - 08/16/05 02:35 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

It's my opinion that eternal damnation results from a life of regret and possibly misguidance. Through karmic retribution the evil you do to the world (not the evil you experience) will keep you imprisoned in your own hell. If you see weed as something that unleashes evil thoughts in you then the solution to avoiding evil is simple. I don't wish to label your experience as genuine or not, but just know that what you experience is a product of your own mind. Overcoming your own thoughts is one of the most difficult challenges you face as a human. As long as you are leading a life of good then no evil can conquer you, external or internal.


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Invisiblemecreateme
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Re: peeking at the devil [Re: puwtrip]
    #4542099 - 08/16/05 01:38 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

So what holds more power for you, your own mind? Or weed?
I am willing to bet my own mind is so much more powerful than weed. Go ahead and shrug off the power of your mind, but you will come to recognize its grip on you some day, especially if you think the mushrooms will only show you good and heart warming things. Your description of a bad weed high is very similar to what you may encounter in the future if you continue to trip, only think of it as more having to do with how you are trapped in this world than being scared of a foolish symbolic icon. Just trying to help you see what you may be in for if you continue on this path.

Gosh, all I can say is it seems very unsafe and risky for you to be using psychedelics. If you get the compulsion to kill on weed, that does not sound good. Perhaps you need a few sobering months before you think about pursuing the path.

Quote:

if shrooms or acid made me believe in a higher power.




Why couldn't the weed make you believe in it too? There are people all over the world who feel that weed does exactly that for them. Besides, as I said before, you don't need shrooms or acid or weed to believe in a higher power. Do you doubt the power of your own belief without substances, or do you only take external proof as real proof that something out there exists?


--------------------
No ONE wants to know the ultimate TRUTH, as soon as YOU find IT out, YOU want to forget IT.

You are everything's way of feeling itself.

Happy Schwag, everygodly!


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Offlinepuwtrip
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Re: peeking at the devil [Re: mecreateme]
    #4543862 - 08/16/05 10:28 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

well like i said in the trip report, i retained self contol (mentally) in my ecounter with the 'devil' as i was able to refuse his advice and my voice was distinctly different than his. no, i was not fully able to control my body; my breathing was not relaxed, and my physique was sloped, eyes drooping, and i felt more comfortable laying down. i do not feel the physical elements were related to my mental state although i am willing to say that the thoughts could be.

i havn't smoked weed in over a year, i don't think sobering up would help. as a whole i don't feel psychotic under normal conditions or on mushrooms (though i'm not saying it couldn't happen). the most likely explination would be that i am uncomfortable with the way my body reacts under weed and my mind is making up mental imagery to entertain me.

as far as control goes, it's not always possible to be in control with any drug or alcohol, regardless of how hard you try to correct it or wish away mentally - that choice of control was made before taking the substance. so maybe i have a low tolerance or i just smoked too much.

anyone can believe anything, it's possible yes. there are no pre requisites to belief or any tools that are required. in my expereince, shrooms have shown me a side of life that i had turned away from and i have learnt from that.

green osiris, i believe something along the same lines, except i can't say how to end the cycle with any certainty, only that everyone has a different path.


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OfflineGreenOsiris
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Re: peeking at the devil [Re: puwtrip]
    #4545409 - 08/17/05 04:12 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

puwtrip :

there is no doubt in my mind that you are mentally balanced. Your thoughts are as coherent (or more so) than most people here and to hear you speak is a testament to how intelligent you are. None of us can direct you in your path, you simply must take that journey by yourself. But I am not worried about you having the urge to go and kill someone. Even though we sometimes face evil and evil thoughts we are none of us controlled by this and I think it would be foolish of you to truly ever consider yourself posessed.

We all have the ability to think unpleasant thoughts and some of us have a more vivid mind than others (this can be to your advantage or it can work against you) The devil doesn't come in the form of marijuana and you realize that fact. However, certain things can amplify how we are thinking, and even though I love pot for what it shows me, I will admit that I have suffered through some of its lessons.

The point that mecreateme has made stands firm though; evil is a two-way door that is really a matter of perspective. What may seem like pure evil to one may be the salvation of another. Just remeber that nothing in this world is more powerful than mind....


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OfflineSpanielmander
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Re: peeking at the devil [Re: GreenOsiris]
    #4550105 - 08/18/05 03:44 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

well like i said in the trip report, i retained self contol (mentally) in my ecounter with the 'devil' as i was able to refuse his advice and my voice was distinctly different than his. no, i was not fully able to control my body; my breathing was not relaxed, and my physique was sloped, eyes drooping, and i felt more comfortable laying down. i do not feel the physical elements were related to my mental state although i am willing to say that the thoughts could be.





Just echoing firmly the prior warnings. God and the Devil aside, There's no reason your mind won't conjure Satanic directives when you're tripping on shrooms.

This is dangerous.

You've tripped on shrooms, had great experiences, felt alive and spiritual. But, as you know, the wrong mood or a tiny mistake could precipitate bad hallucinations.

If your trip on pot (lucky!), I can't imagine how sensitive you must be to the impulses brougt on by shrooms. You could control your urge (or Satan's will) when you got stoned. Who says you'd be able to on shrooms?

My only advice is don't trip alone.


--------------------
A man said to the universe:
"Sir I exist!"
"However," replied the universe,
"The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation."
~Stephen Crane


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OfflineGreenOsiris
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Re: peeking at the devil [Re: Spanielmander]
    #4550297 - 08/18/05 04:26 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Maybe tripping alone is just what you need. I have found that to hold some of the most profound insights....

Just be careful and know your limits. If it feels wrong, don't do it


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Offlinepuwtrip
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Re: peeking at the devil [Re: GreenOsiris]
    #4551486 - 08/18/05 02:13 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

i called a friend who managed to get some good quality weed. the smoke was smooth, the bud was a little moist and was covered in crystals. i had a wonderful time; clear, up high. the weed from the other day completely fucked my body, so i'd imagine the hallucination was based around those feelings.

i haven't tripped hard on psilocybin, i keep my dosage a little lower. i trip alone because i enjoy it, though it would probably reduce outside tension as well.

as far as good and bad, i agree that it's a matter of perspective. but is it perspective based on the individual or society? i have a feeling you'll say the individual has a choice, but what about the people that never budge on their opinion? are they really choosing to not budge, or has something been hard wired in their brain by their own thoughts?

thanks for looking out. i think ive solved the weed problem; buy better quality weed.


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OfflineShroomingNJ
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Re: peeking at the devil [Re: puwtrip]
    #4552286 - 08/18/05 05:56 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

wtf is wrong with you bro.


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OfflineAraGuaCu
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Re: peeking at the devil [Re: ShroomingNJ]
    #4554500 - 08/19/05 05:37 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

wow, i've never heard voice while i was high on weed....except for the "oh shit is that my mom yelling for me from upstairs?" and i've smoked a lot more than just a bowl and a half.

although i useto get like really bad trips, and get stuck in thought loops, but know metally im stronger and more wise....

personally i think i am ready for some shrooms.


--------------------
"Guakia Taino Yahabo!"


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Offlinecongo
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Re: peeking at the devil [Re: puwtrip]
    #4555910 - 08/19/05 05:44 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

i have this many many times and it is scary .wether i can tell you or you will relize i do not know.what i do know is it is part of your over all being part of you usally the right side of your head the controller,it some times happens , my only advice is to be with a close friend who you can shout talk about yuor demon mind too and let it out then itmight just change a litte


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Offlineleery11
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Re: peeking at the devil [Re: congo]
    #4556006 - 08/19/05 06:13 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

puwtrip said:
of course, i totally agree with you on all your points. perception is a tricky thing. the one thing i am not is absolute; i was just trying to explain things the way i saw them from the point of view of my trip. i know that many people have a blast on weed and i know that it contains no evil. what i can guess at is that chemicals interact differntly in people. sure there are not so good things lingering in my mind, but to bring them out to the extent that it did seems a little odd. i've shroomed when i was in a confused state and upset. what i realized though, was that this was my state and it had nothing to do with the shrooms. once i dealt with my problem and changed my thoughts and scenery (and talked to a kind random stranger) everything was better again. it was just a mood swing.. it never willed me to poke my eye out (by making me feel uncomfortable doing anything else) or kill a neighbour or something (like the other night). you can say that its tricks and games the mind plays or its the weed, but i had a choice yes. to do what i wanted and to think what i want of the expereince. and i dont know what to think. on the one hand i tell myself its the mind, but. if shrooms or acid made me believe in a higher power. why wouldnt this experience make me believe in a lower one?




i've had bad weed experiences, my answer is that weed takes you IN as a navigator into your thoughts. (you described almost exactly how i get like, falling into deep thoughts then forgetting them, it's like falling asleep except holding guidance over all the thoughts that happen when you doze out)

i guess shrooms take you OUT to "God" or at least, make you feel that way.... i think weed should be used with a clear personal intent in mind, such as overcoming an issue, or raising healing energy into part of you that is hurting, and it should be followed through until the high subsides.

misusing will lead to hellish trips like that (i saw the devil too a while ago.....) that aren't good, because your body and your mind are saying "stay out of here! you don't know what you're doing."

i haven't done any high psychedelic doses, so I don't know. I know that LSA + weed = the television speaking to me and telling me to never do weed again, ever. Maybe I should listen. Whereas yesterday a small bit of LSA = yeah, this is fun, warm lovey dozey kind of feelings, not too deep.

Honestly, less is more.... ripping bowls to get fucked into space will inevitably lead to those kinds of experiences. Whereas a few hits and going for thoughtless meditational swimming and lying in the sun = heavenly.

I see it like, maybe you and I used our weed for hedonistic reasons, we exhausted weeds inherent spiritual/positive potentials from using it improperly, and the only thing left was bad trips and paranoia and stuff.

----------
I think these kinds of visions come from repressing your animal instincts and urges. We all consider killing (partly through social conditioning and exposure to massive amounts of justified violence in the media). We probably consider raping (we want chicks, in our fantasies we just grab them and bend them over) and well, the potential to DO "evil" lies in each and every one of us. Christians will deny this and will personify it, literally, as an outside force called "Satan", which I theorize may make them more vulnerable to committing evil, as they fail to recognize that THEY themselves are capable of evil.

in fact the whole nazi soldier thing brings up a good point, as Christians (some) feel justified in committing violence (acts of evil) for the LORD, for they view them as acts of good. They may think that the war on terror is a holy war against the evils of Islam, and that anything and everything "evil" we do is in fact "God's work." or on a lesser level they may cheer on witch hunts and any number of things as "good" soley because they have the erroneus beliefs that their minds have someohow been purged from evil through saying a few simple prayers.

The devil then should not be hated (for he is you) or feared... but his ideas should not be entertained. If he will not go away then you must ask him why he is asking you to do the things he does, you must ask him how this relates to your current situation, and if you can, you must show him love or tolerance and attempt to guide him into not having such extremely miserable fantasies.

As someone that interacts with his dreams I can tell you that if you have a recurring dream character that you go to complete and total WAR with, it will not go away and it will actually show up more. Evil dream characters symbolize fears, anxieties, things that are just in general wrong with you that you may not be aware of...... the goal is to transform them into something positive, and try and learn.

Of course, the human mind is a weak and moldable thing, and the fear that there really IS a devil is hard to deal with when you have those kinds of experiences... so.... exert caution.

I have to say though, it's not a good sign that you actually felt like killing someone while you were high.

also what the hell?
Quote:

08/16/05 i havn't smoked weed in over a year,



Quote:

- 08/14/05 i had some weed last night.






--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


Edited by leery11 (08/19/05 06:18 PM)


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Offlinepuwtrip
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Re: peeking at the devil [Re: leery11]
    #4557645 - 08/20/05 03:46 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

i meant i hadn't smoked for a year up until that night when i did smoke :P

leery11, i feel the same on those topics you discussed.

i'd like to report to you guys that i've learnt something very special about weed tonight. i had a little bit to smoke and sat down to watch 'Meet Joe Black'. i could easily follow, but my perspecive was a little changed, not a lot, just a little. during the movie i realized some things. my prior bad experiences were due to a combination of; 1)low quality weed (imo), 2) guilt and 3) fear of expression.

1) i couldn't take a puff of that weed without coughing. once it came in, it sorta rushed in, and then crept up. my body feeling was very uneasy.

2) guilt, for possibly doing something 'wrong'. i say i don't care, but maybe i do. all the negative image of drugs and weed especially, leading to a wasted life and missed opportunities. i dodn't have to courage to believe in what i felt.

3) by deying my thoughts i possibly made them worse. the fact is, i expereienced something which i was not willing to agree with. suddenly reality changed and i didn't want to believe what was now real. i dont think i could have changed anything about the expereince at the time, but i see it now.

oh, another problem i see is that i'm always trying to figure out things. life is like a problem for me (i make it into a problem). if i'm smoking weed, i have to figure out what the effects of it are on me and compare it to my normal self. this is a bad thing to do, because i'm concentrating too hard on the fine details and missing the big picture-life.

i thought about these subjects while watching the movie. the positive thing i noticed, is that during the movie, i was evaluating my feelings about certain issues which i would never do normally. i watched the movie and understood the whole thing in a sentence. i stoped focusing in on the tiny details and saw the big picture. anthony hopkins said in the movie something alone the lines of: "stop thinking and follow your heart". and that was the whole point of the movie. time we cannot fight, realities we cannot fight. our head plays games with us, but our heart is attuned to love.

i believe marijuana is a good tool for me, to help heal me with my own help. i have learnt in my life not to deal with my feelings, and weed can help me get in touch with my feelings again. this is what i feel at this point in time.

i know i'm writing like a shmuck, but i'm happy to.

thanks for all your imputs guys, you probably helped shape what i just wrote above. you made a difference!


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OfflineGreenOsiris
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Re: peeking at the devil [Re: puwtrip]
    #4557809 - 08/20/05 05:12 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Peace man


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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics >> The Psychedelic Experience >> Trip Reports

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* The devil has his allotted time Shnezbit 589 2 06/24/07 01:56 PM
by BuddyGuy
* Ketamine = Psychedelic Heroin
( 1 2 all )
Crystal G 17,353 34 07/20/11 11:44 PM
by indica
* Schizoid personality but I wanna trip.
( 1 2 all )
JohnnyHogan 2,001 29 05/26/03 08:45 PM
by r00tg04t
* Long term effects of 'Shrooms?
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Mavrick127 29,796 39 12/04/01 05:00 PM
by Majk526
* The DMT Chronicles: Parmenides, Plato, and the Psychedelic - Published by The Translinguistic Press
( 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 all )
Feanor 59,178 140 10/21/11 07:30 PM
by millzy
* crazy trip.. tell me what you think miike012 795 4 08/15/08 03:56 PM
by miike012

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